This is Majin Hentai X I do not own any published or copy written works
normal speech "I finally figured out how to kill you all"
thoughts "Nice ass and a good rack to."
greater being " I can read your mind I'm taken"
Techniques "Damn no jutsu"
This fic is a series of omakes for many series for the purpose of bad idea filtration lets start.
Story one Time and Punishment Naruto version
Sakura's house Konoha post Tsunade arc and pre-Sasuke retrieval arc
"You known guys us sitting down and eating breakfast together like this makes me feel lucky." Said a smiling Uzumaki Naruto as he ate breakfast with the rest of team 7.
"Naruto your hands caught in the toaster." Screamed Sakura.
"AGGGGGGGGGHhhhh it burns " Naruto screamed as he ran around the kitchen smashing the toaster off the walls finally scraping it off on the refrigerator.
"Oh thank kami that was "
"Naruto your hand caught in the toaster again" exploded Sakura.
"Damn it damn it damn it no not my hand" Naruto screamed hoarsely as he stabbed at the toaster with a kunai frantically until it finally broke off on the table.
"Naruto-baka you broke my toaster." Sakura screeched in her banshee yell as she beat Naruto with a frying pan.
"Sakura please stop I'll pay for a new one" Naruto opening his wallet finding empty except for a note. "Naruto i owe 5000 yen signed Jiraiya".
"Damn you Ero-senin. Don't worry Sakura-chan I'll fix it my self" Naruto nervously said as he took the battered toaster.
"Okay lets do this. I just need the right tool for the job " Naruto to himself as he took a rock and broke open the bottom of the toaster looking at the mechanism inside.
"This can't be to hard its not brain surgery. Naruto shivered as Anko rushed by his window. "I'll never try that again."
"Well here goes nothing" though Naruto as he began messing with the toasters.
"Well that's that " said Naruto to himself as he looked the remodel toaster now filled with bloody circuitry and light bulbs.
"Now for a test for a test toast" as he put in the bread and pulled the lever in a flash of light Naruto was gone.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" screamed Naruto as he flew through a striped tunnel full of clocks.
"Cool I'm the first ninja time traveler " Naruto uttered in awe until the strange black haired man known as Kurei punched him in the face.
"No you aren't I beat you by centuries" as the black haired man disappeared.
"Where am I " Naruto looked around him to see dinosaurs running free.
"Wow I'm back in the time before Dinosaurs were not just confined to zoos. Wait I just need to remember the advice that Ero-senin gave me before I fought Neji ."
"Naruto if your ever sent into the distant past don't touch anything or it may drastically alter the future."
"Okay I'll be fine as long as i don't touch anything. Ah a bug" as mosquito lands on his hands.
"You go squish now" Naruto grunted as he crushed the bug on his arm.
"Oh no it was only one little bug what could happen"
"I'm back" Naruto rushes to the training ground where his team was supposed to meet team 7.
"Sorry I'm late guys hey Sakura I fixed your toaster. Wait why are you all dressed like Orochimaru. "Naruto puzzled to his team.
"Naruto why are you not in uniform. Orochimaru-sama demands it" said Sasuke Sakura and Kakashi in stereo with creepy smile on their faces.
"What since when" before anyone could do anything snakes slithered out of the ground and ate all of them.
Team 7 were then spit out in front of the Orochimaru reprogramming facility where the elite meet to bow down at Orochimaru's feet.
"Oh shit no Orochimaru is Hokage." Yelled Naruto
"What do you mean Hokage Orochimaru-sama is the undisputed god - emperor of the world" said the other members of team 7 still in perfect stereo.
Team 7 was then forced into the facility where Orochimaru's minions began the brain washing after several annoying tests.
"Well if you don't feeling like bowing down to your god yet I have one sure fire method a glass of warm milk a little nap and a full frontal lobotomy." Repeated the Orochimaru recording on the screen.
"It's not that bad Naruto they go in through your nose and cut out a piece of your brain and let you keep the chunk they cut out" said a cross eyed Jiraiya wearing a 3 piece suit.
"Join us Naruto" said Sasuke and Sakura in stereo wearing suits with creepy smiles holding jars with their brain chunks.
"Its blisssss" said Hinata in a creepy voice.
"Hell no I'm got to fix this mess" rushing away
"After him" yelled the generic minions as snake summons poured out of the walls.
"Crap snakes." Naruto pulls out a bowl of ramen. "I know this ramen will give me the quick energy I need to escape." Naruto guzzles the ramen and manages to outrun the snakes.
"Okay I just need to go back in time and not touch anything" pulling down the lever to activate the toaster with a bang of green light naruto appeared back in the past.
"Oh no you don't" Dodging the mosquito that he smashed before.
"No no must not kill must not smash." while jumping arond dodging several plants and animals and then trips onto a fish that crawled out of the water.
"I wish I wish I didn't kill that fish" mournfully as the toaster popped and Naruto was flung across time yet again.
Naruto hear a cracking sound as the roof of his house is torn off.
"Hey look its a bug that looks like dobe wanna smash it." The giant Sasuke rumbled
"Sure Sasuke-kun" The enormous Sakura Screeched with hearts in her eyes.
"Aggghhhhh" as Naruto activated the toaster disappearing a burst of light
"That was horrible and I've got to stop taking to myself. Okay no screw ups this time I have to get this right." Naruto then felt warm breath on his back as a T-rex snuck up behind him.
Achoo Naruto sneezes into the face of the T-Rex it eyes widen it sneezes and falls over dead as the other dinosaurs sneeze then die.
With a grimace on his face Naruto thinks to himself "That one is going to cost me big." Ding the toaster popped sending Naruto to the present.
"Hi Naruto come on get ready I know your nervous but you have to get ready for your Hokage inauguration." Sakura smiled at Naruto as she was in the kitchen.
"Wait what are are you doing at my house Sakura." asked the puzzled Jinchuriki
"Naruto please we've been married for the last three months you me and Hinata. So what do you want for lunch" Sakura happily stated as Naruto jaw dropped with shick.
"This is great I'm about to be Hokage I'm married to Sakura and Hinata I'll have one bowl of miso ramen please. " ecstatically as the blond sat down Sakura looked at him with a confused look on her face.
"What's ramen?" Before she knew it Naruto started screaming grabbed the toaster and went back in time.
"Oh look its raining again" as ramen noodles and topping fell from the sky.
Naruto keeps going back forward through time over again each time changing history.
Until Jiraiya appears before Naruto.
"Naruto your not home yet but I can help just do exactly as I saggh" was all the pervert got out before his head was cut off by Akamaru.
"This is a very disturbing universe now please live I have a world to conquer"speaking in the tones of Morpheus as the small dog with a masamune in its mouth walked away.
Naruto activates the toaster screaming in terror.
"That's it I don't care what happens now this has to end." Naruto raged as he starts smashing everything in sight.
"Wait everything looks pretty normal lets see. I'm a guy, sky blue, and no fox ears or tail I might have got lucky."
"I'm back Sakura what day is it whats my name what of ramen am I married to you?" She slaps him across the face.
"Damn it Naruto what the fucks wrong with you if you want ramen go down and get it yourself bitch as cracker."
"Quick sasuke have you killed your brother and Kakashi did Anko rape you." both stared at him angrily.
"Wait what's with your skin ahh forget it lets eat." Naruto sat down and startted eating with his now african american team.
(what naruto was racist until recently with kirabi everyone was Asian just when they started printing issue to africa.)