Author – cornerofmadness
Disclaimer – not mine, all rights belong to Ms Arakawa
Rating – PG-13 with adult situations
Timeline – manga based, just after the war in Ishbal
Pairing – Roy/Riza
Summary – How to end up scarred for life
Author's Note – this was my first idea for picfor1000 and was inspired not only by the image of a peach but the lyrics to Steve Miller's The Joker
He could sulk forever if he wanted to, Riza knew this well. The Eastern Command wasn't where Mustang wanted to be. He considered it a punishment, even though he knew her grandfather had pulled a lot of strings to get him out there. Of course, Central Command considered the assignment a punishment as well. They feared Roy's power and had no idea as to what to do with a Lieutenant Colonel who was barely into his twenties and already considered the hero of Ishbal, a title he hated. Thankfully, no one had seemed to see through Grumman's long-term scheming to realize Riza was his granddaughter.
After three months of him sulking, Riza had had enough. Her back was finally healed and she had talked it over with both Hughes and her grandfather. Something had to be done to shake Roy out of his bad mood before he messed up his career by spouting off to the wrong officer. To that end, she got permission to go on a scouting trip for alchemists and bundled Roy onto the train, carrying a suitcase that only had uniforms packed on the very outermost layer.
"Where are we now?" he asked as they paid a young man to carry their bags to the local inn.
She shrugged. "Some farm town, begins with an R." After seeing so many stupid little towns, and no change in Roy's mood, Riza no longer cared. "Does it matter?"
He glanced at the general store they had walked past, seeing its rather shabby but well-used front and replied, "Not really. Do you plan on telling me why we're really here?" Roy readjusted his hat again. He had fussed with it so many times Riza almost wished she had let him wear his uniform.
Glancing down at her dress, she looked at him unhappily. Did he think she packed a garment of crisp, white cotton decorated gaily with multi-colored beaded flowers because she wanted to sit quietly in the corner while he chatted up alchemists? It was almost too noticeable for what she had in mind. "I thought it was obviously not a hunt for alchemists."
"Then why did you drag me out here?" Roy turned to her then lost color, seeing her vicious expression. She could bury her heel in his backside right now. "Oh! I'm an idiot."
Her arms folded over her chest, her fingers twitching perilously close to where she usually carried her guns. "Do you hear me arguing?"
Roy grimaced. "Sorry. You could have given me a hint."
"I have been for days. Usually a sledgehammer isn't required, especially for you." She leveled another grave look at him. "If you wanted to sulk, we could have stayed back at headquarters."
"Sorry." He glanced at her feet. "You up for a scenic walk?"
"I'm sure I'll manage," she replied coolly but let him steer her off the more beaten track. Maybe coming to a small town was a mistake. They were noticeable as strangers, especially Roy with his exotic looks. She should have asked his mother for one of her many bungalows somewhere in the heart of a busy city where no one looked at the people around them. Too late for that now, she realized as they headed up a dirt road. She was thankful for her sensible shoes. "What are those pellets all over the place?"
"City girl!" He laughed as if he were any better. "Shit. Remember your father used to…"
"Don't remind me of those experiments!"
"I had to help!" Convinced they were now utterly alone, Roy slipped an arm around her waist, canting his gaze up at the setting sun. "I smell something good, something not sheep."
Riza pointed to a copse behind a split-rail fence. "Orchard. Smells like ripe fruit."
They went to investigate. "Ooo, peaches." Roy hopped the fence and picked one. He hummed, biting into it. "Delicious. Come here."
"I'll snag my stockings."
His eyes danced. "Take them off. I'll put them in my pocket."
She laughed then undid her garters. Kicking off her shoes, Riza surrendered the silk and let him help her over the fence. She picked her own peach. "Someone isn't going to like us stealing their fruit."
"I'll pay. Can't pass up peaches like this." His tongue flicked over his lips but his eyes weren't on the dangling orbs.
"Those aren't peaches."
"Just as sweet." He lipped the swell of her breast through the flimsy cotton. "Beautiful fruit on a wonderful tree. Want to rock that tree."
She nipped his earlobe. "Like a windstorm."
Roy sighed against Riza's neck, not quite ready to get up.
"Why are you holding that lady down, mister? You let her go!" A shrill feminine voice cried.
Roy sat bolt upright, flailing around. He spotted three pale-haired kids in the gloom.
"Yeah, we wanted to watch the falling stars. You go away!" one of the boys said.
"Stop hurting her!" the other chimed in.
"Oh hell!" Riza hissed, shoving him off her.
"You should be in bed, go away!" Roy said, trying to yank his pants back up. Something whacked into his backside, hard. "Who threw that?"
"I had to see his butt!" the girl said, distressed.
Riza grabbed her shoes with one hand and Roy's wrist with the other, all but hauling him, pants still half-down, over the fence. They ran down the dirt road, listening to the indignant howls of the children fading behind them. Finally, Riza stumbled to a stop, her arms clenched tight to her sides as she laughed. "I can't believe that!"
"Not funny!" Roy said but her laughter was contagious. "Kids will be…talking for days."
"Want to check out and jump the first train out?" Riza asked between giggles.
"Yes!" Roy put an arm around her. "The things you get me into."
"Me?" She arched an eyebrow.
"Your trip, your plans." He scowled. "I think I have splinters from that branch they threw."
"My brave little soldier." Riza kissed him.