A/N: And right, here's the promised sequel. And yes, just so no one would be confused, this story starts from the point after Kakashi has regained his memories. Or well, more or less. Thanks again to you guys who have supported the first part. This fic is dedicated to each and everyone of you. ^_^ Oh, in case I didn't mention it, the medic-nin in the first part, Kitou, he's really a character by Kishimoto-sama. His profile can be found in one of the data books.
Disclaimer: Nope, all characters here doesn't belong to me and no, I didn't make up any characters. All characters rights belongs to Kishimoto-sama.
Chapter 1: Decided Departure
Iruka stretched himself as he leaned back in his chair and stared up at the ceiling. Finally, all the works were done. He pushed back his chair and walked around the house.
Everything was in place. Everything was packed neatly and put away. The boxes sat in the corner of the living room, waiting to be moved. The furniture were straightened out and cleaned. The assignments had all been graded and put into his bag, waiting to be brought back to school. He studied the apartment and took in every single detail.
He wanted to keep it in his memories. This place where he had spent the last two years. He wanted to bring all the happy memories with him and leave the sad ones behind.
His stopped first at the kitchen. His fingers drifted across the spotless kitchen counter. A small smile found its way onto his lips. He could see himself standing by the stove cooking, and Kakashi beside him, trying to steal a bite or two. He would smack the jounin's hand and tried to keep him out of the kitchen and Kakashi would just laugh and hug him. Then, when Iruka started to look annoyed, Kakashi would always pacify him with a kiss.
Iruka felt his breath hitched at that memory. He could still feel the older man's lips on his. Still could feel the arms pulling him into a tight embrace. Still could hear those teasing words beside his ears. He wished that all these had never happened. At least if it hadn't, it wouldn't break him up so much inside just thinking of it.
His gaze drifted to the living room. The place where they would spend lounging together every night when Kakashi wasn't on a mission, just reading books or cuddling up with each other, relishing in the blissful moment. They would talk about the day's events, funny incidents, serious issues and every other single thing. No matter how stressful the day had been, Kakashi always had a way to make him laugh or feel at ease.
He turned and walked to the study, leaning against the doorframe. There was that table where he would sit grading assignments and Kakashi would always come in with a cup of tea for him. That chair beside the desk where Kakashi would always sit, reading his book, and waited till the chunin is done with his work, before he would drag the younger man to bed. That small couch against the wall, where Kakashi would sometimes doze off in while waiting for his lover to finish his work. No matter what the time was, Kakashi would never go to bed when Iruka was still awake.
Iruka smiled at the fond memories and walked over to the couch, plopping down in it, feeling the texture of the velvet cloth against his hands. He lay down, staring up at the white ceiling, thinking back on all those times when the older man would lay in the same spot, giving him warm smiles and loving gazes until fatigue took over. Despite the months of being unoccupied, the couch still smelt of the jounin. Iruka inhaled the scent and couldn't help the silent tears that rolled down his cheeks.
He lay there for a while more, before he swept away those tears with the back of his hand and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. This place will only exist in his memories from then on. He did not want to add on to his heartache by lingering around longer than he needs to.
The bedroom was next. He sat down on the bed and traced the patterns on the freshly changed sheets. This was the place where they spent most of their time together, just snuggling up to each other under those covers or having heated make-out sessions and the sex that came after that. The place where the jounin would hold him close and whisper sweet nothings. The place where they inhale each other's scent and made all those silly promises.
Iruka swallowed the lump in his throat. He turned to look out of the window, half expecting the jounin to jump right through it, like he did every time when he came home from a mission.
But Iruka knew better than to hope. His lover was gone and never coming back again.
He walked into the adjoining bathroom, making sure the fresh towels were up on the rack and that all the toiletries were stocked up. Kakashi would need all those toiletries to last him for a while, until he starts adjusting to not having Iruka around to take care of these things for him. Iruka pulled out the medic kit and made sure that all the medications and bandages are fully stocked up for the jounin's use.
He knew how much Kakashi hated the hospital and would rather bleed to death than stay in the infirmary. The older man would need all these medical items to tend to his own injuries. Iruka traced the items in the box one last time, knowing that he would never get to use it again to dress up Kakashi when he returns from a mission with fresh wounds.
When he was satisfied that everything was in place, he placed the kit back into the spot where he knew Kakashi would find it. He didn't actually know if the jounin would return to this apartment. But, it never hurts to be well-prepared.
Iruka left the bedroom and headed to the balcony. He sank down into the hammock chair and cuddled up to the pillow in it.
He closed his eyes and he could almost feel Kakashi's arms around him. He remembered those times when he lay on top of the jounin and just let those pale fingers run through his hair. On their free weekends, they would lay there for hours in the evening as they watched the orange sky turned dark. They would nap in each other's arms with the cool breeze blowing. They would lay there, counting the stars and talking about their dreams and their future.
Iruka felt his breath hitched as a sob rise in his throat.
There was a time when their future had been so beautifully crafted and every scene which they pictured had each other in it. Even with the uncertainties of their lives as shinobi, Kakashi had always promised to be there all the way.
Iruka lay there as he reminisced on all those sweet memories. He remembered those times when Kakashi often pop by at the academy or the mission room with lunch or dinner that the chunin had been too busy to get himself. The light chiding tone that the jounin used when Iruka skipped his meals. The frustrations and worrying looks Kakashi showed when Iruka fell sick. Those little conflicts that they had when they first moved in together and the sweet little notes that the older man would give Iruka later with an apology written on it.
Iruka stared wistfully into the dark sky. All these things would never happen again. He would have to learn all over again how to get on by himself. He would have to know how to comfort himself when he was sad or stressed. He would have to keep his own anger at check every single time someone made him angry. He would have to take care of himself when he fell sick.
But there's always an advantage to living alone. He wouldn't have to cook dinner for another person. He wouldn't have someone constantly scolding him for not taking care of himself. He wouldn't have to worry about another person's safety when that person is out on missions. He wouldn't have to bother about dressing up injuries or scrubbing off dirt and grime.
He gazed at the sky blankly.
He wouldn't have someone to come home to after a hard day at the academy or the mission room. He wouldn't have someone to listen to all his complains and calm him down. He wouldn't have someone who would always be there to give him a hug and assure him that everything is alright. He wouldn't have someone fussing over him and making sure that he is well-fed and well-rested. He wouldn't have someone waiting up for him while he grades assignments and tests.
He wouldn't have someone to call his love.
Iruka sobbed into the pillow. He had lost count on how many nights he had spent crying over a love that was lost. He still couldn't comprehend how it had all happened. All he knew was that, just weeks ago, Kakashi was still holding him so close and promising his love over and over again.
But he knew that he would have to be strong enough to move on. If Kakashi had, so would he. He let the tears fall from his eyes, quietly promising himself that this would be the last time he cry for himself and Kakashi.