Author Fighters Happy Hour

Chapter 5

Nukid folded his arms at the recent happenings. He wasn't happy that he was about to help Oldkid get control over TL.

The doors then slid open with DM in front of them.

"Nukid, it's time." DM said.

Nukid walked out. Another cell door opened as DM noticed Johan. The Darkside was wearing several bling-bling items and a pair of sunglasses.

Johan: That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Nukid gave Johan a flat look.

"If you're still tryin' to act drugged, you're not foolin' me." Nukid simply said.

"Then gimme some more of that happy juice." Johan whispered.

"No." Nukid growled, "When we were captured, they stripped of us of everything that we could use as weapons from your whip to TL's gloves."

"Explains why the hedgehog didn't use his powers." Johan said, "Otherwise, he'd blow us all sky-high."

DM then grabbed the two by the throats and heaved them up.

"We're on." He simply said.

The lights darkened and Ino appeared.

"NOW, coming directly from the psycho ward, it's one of the most dangerous and insane Darksides! Oldkid!" Ino introduced.

Oldkid appeared to the cheers of the audience.

"Thank you, thank you! This chapter is on all computer screens worldwide!" Oldkid said, like a game show host, "TODAY, we have some of your favorite Author Fighters…"

DM, Hikari, Airnaruto, Ranger, Loony, D-Dude, and HQ appear from behind a curtain to more cheers.

"And a villain…"

Johan appeared. Nothing happened except some crickets chirping.

"Free-bird!" Johan said.

"And the one who ALMOST got away…"

TL appeared, still strapped to the chair.

"BUT not quite." Oldkid sneered before introducing, "AND, the person who will make him mine, my dear friend, Nukid!"

Nukid appeared to wild applause.

"NUKID?!" TL barked, "You're HELPING Oldkid to make me his mindless slave?!"

"I WON'T have your blood on my hands." Nukid said.

"And I thought you wanted to show the entire world what you were made of." Oldkid said, "Isn't that WHY you joined ? To show that you could be as good as your original role-model, Mrfipp? And now, you're lucky to get fics with more than fifty reviews and you KNOW it!"

TL simply scoffed before simply saying, "Bullshit."

"Never thought I'd hear TL swear outside of his Ultima and Feral modes." Nukid said.

"So what if I'm not as popular as I'd like?" TL asked, "I mean, I'm still a reasonably well-known author. And don't think that Spud's little mind-tricks will work."

"'Sup?" the android Spud asked, stupidly.

"Exactly." TL said, continuing, "I exploded when I was four and killed most of my relatives, including my parents. I lost my aunt Kida, my sensei, and even my life once." TL's voice eventually rose to a proud statement, "So, what can YOU do to me?! Think you can change me into some brooding, Shadow-esque hero for your own twisted desires?! LIKE TO SEE YA TRY!"

"Oh, you must think you're clever, rodent." Oldkid taunted, "But you want to know what's really clever? What Spud's about to do to you!"

Spud placed his hand on TL's head and electricity began to pulse through each other.

"Cool, our minds have like bonded, dude." Spud and TL both said.

"So, everything's goin' as planned, Oldkid?" Ino asked.

"Exactly. And I'm guessing that everything's going as planned for YOU, too." Oldkid replied, playing a recording.

"Now, just act like you're still hallucinating. If Oldkid finds out that you're sane again, he'll brainwash ya." Ino's recorded voice said.

"WAIT! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" Ino shouted, defensively.

"Oh, I know EXACTLY what's going on." Oldkid replied, jamming a knife into Ino's midsection.

"YOU BASTARD!" Johan shouted. DM swung his staff into Johan, forcing the Darkside into a chair.

"No worries, Johan. She's still alive…for now." Oldkid said, sadistically.

"And what're you gonna do with me?!" Johan snarled, "Make me into one of your mindless lackeys?!"

"Oh, I'm not." Oldkid replied with a smile, "I have DARKER plans for you." Oldkid then asked, "Did you know that the human mind will collapse on itself if it gathers too much information at once?" Oldkid then glanced over to Spud, who was still working on TL, "Spud!"

"'Sup?" Spud and TL asked.

"Teach Johan Spanish. ALL OF IT." Oldkid ordered.

Spud raised a hand and blasted Johan with information. Johan screamed in pain.

"ENOUGH, Oldkid!" Nukid shouted.

"Is that all you've got?" Johan asked.

"How about something that'll REALLY blow your mind?" Oldkid asked before saying to Spud, "Teach him Japanese. INCLUDING grammatical order!"

"Cool." Spud and TL replied.

Spud fired another blast at Johan.

"I'm gonna help ya, Oldkid, but NOT if you keep tormenting Johan!" Nukid snarled.

"If you wanna help either HIM, TL, or Ino," Oldkid said, tossing a gun to Nukid, "Take a shot."

Nukid stared at the gun. He only saw one option in which his friend wouldn't get hurt.

"Hanabi Hyuga." Nukid simply said.

"Excellent." Oldkid said before telling Spud, "Enter the Hyuga girl's name into the hedgehog's mind."

"NOW, let me help Ino." Nukid growled.

"Oh, I would, except DarkMagicianmon doesn't really LIKE it when friends rat out on each other." Oldkid explained, gesturing at the fearless leader.

DarkMagicianmon grabbed Nukid by the throat and heaved the assassin up.

"You'll PAY for your betrayal, Nukid." DM snarled.

"DarkMagicianmon, I know YOU'RE strong enough to fight Oldkid's manipulation!" Nukid wheezed.

"I'm strong enough to uphold justice." DM snarled, "My family was murdered because of injustice and I WILL avenge their deaths!"

"By becoming one of the people you're trying to fight?" Nukid asked. DM began to think about this…

"Sir?" Spud and TL both replied, "There appears to be somethin' weird in here…"

"Hey…what's that?" TL asked by himself.


Inside the darkness, TL was walking through mist. He saw the back of a girl.

"Who's that?" he asked, voice echoing.

The girl turned around and he saw Hanabi.

Hanabi soon turned into Drake Darkstar.

"SOMEONE WHO YOU'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN!" Drake cackled before electrocuting TL.


TL was snarling from the strain.

"I…can't…remember!" TL snarled.

"Spud, really work it." Oldkid ordered.

"Can't, sir." Spud replied, "I'm gonna explode in a few seconds."

He did. His head flew off during the explosion and his body fell to the ground.

"Dude, stinks." Spud's head said.

With the Authors, something went through their minds.

"What happened?" Lunatic121 asked, disoriented.

"I dunno." Airnaruto replied.

"The last thing I remember is…somethin' about ME playing Ironhide in TL's Transformer spoof." Ranger groaned, massaging his temples.

"I just hope the whole deal about ME marrying some witch was just a dream." Dimensiondude said.

"THAT would be a dream, Big Double D." HQ explained.

"HALLELUJAH!" D-Dude shouted to the heavens.

"It's just a blur." Hikari said, rubbing her head.

DM immediately dropped Nukid, who began gasping for breath.

"NUKID?! What did I-" DM tried saying.

"NOT now, DM!" Nukid snapped.

"SPUD! CHANGE THEM AGAIN!" Oldkid ordered Spud's head.

"Can't, sir. Being just a head, I don't have much power." Spud's head explained.

"THEN TELEPORT US OUT OF HERE!" Oldkid commanded.

"Can't do that, either, sir." Spud replied.


"Cool." Spud replied. Everyone, except Nukid, TL, Johan, Ino, and Oldkid then vanished.

"WHAT?!" Oldkid spat.

"You said something, sir." Spud said, "Maybe you should've been more specific."

Nukid rushed over to TL and handed the hedgehog his gauntlet and glove.

"HERE!" Nukid said, "So you can use your powers without blowing up."

"Thanks." TL replied, pulling his gloves on.

"How're you feelin'?" Nukid asked.

"I feel like someone's trying to pry my head open, but other than that…I seem to be fine." TL answered.

"Well, well, seems as if our rodent of a friend was right." Oldkid said.


"We'll have time for zoology LATER." Oldkid said. He then glanced at the ground. There was the gun. TL, Nukid, and Oldkid looked at it. "Well, what're you…"

The gun fired. Blood trickled down Oldkid's face as the insane Darkside crumpled and fell to the ground. Nukid didn't have the gun. Neither did TL. The person who shot it was…

"You see, you just had to remove the safety pin." X Prodigy explained.

"Any numbskull could see THAT." TSS growled.

"Any GUN SLINGING numbskull." Ross corrected.

"X, you saved our asses." Nukid said in awe.

"Well, you two ARE some of my pals. What else was I supposed to do?" X asked.

The body of Spud then began to glow.

"IT'S GONNA BLOW!" TL shouted.

"We're NOT leaving without Oldkid's corpse!" Nukid snarled. He glanced back and saw that Oldkid was gone. So was Ino.

"Why am I not surprised?" TSS asked.

"Because just about every reader saw this coming." Ross answered.

"In THAT case, let's get out!" Nukid barked. The four then took off.


Oldkid wiped some of the blood off his forehead.

"NEXT time, I'll make the paintball gun less realistic." The psychopath growled.

"You stabbed me and were gonna leave me for dead!" Ino snapped, covering the wound, "Drake WON'T be happy."

"I'll just say that one of those pesky Authors did it." Oldkid replied.

"AND I'LL VOUCH AGAINST THAT!" snapped a voice as a whip cracked at Oldkid. Johan was there, holding the whip like Indiana Jones.

"JOHAN!" Oldkid shouted out of disbelief.

"YES, ME! AND YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO SAY?!" Johan demanded before jabbering away in Spanish. He then paused and asked, "What the hell was I talking about?"

"How about we finish this?" Oldkid asked.

"WHY NOT?!" Johan growled. The two then sprung at each other and began tussling. Ino reached for Spud's head. That douche could send her back to Drake's base.

However, the ground split open and she almost fell in. She screamed at this.

"INO!" Johan shouted.

"NOT yet!" Oldkid snarled, pouncing at Johan.

Ino was just about ready to slip.

"I got ya!" TL said, jumping over to grab Ino's hand, "Give me your other hand!"

"But…" Ino glanced over to Spud's head, "I wanted to go back to Drake's fortress."

TL didn't listen. He flipped Ino away from the edge, but fell down himself. Nukid caught his right hand before he fell. He then noticed Spud's head. If he got it…

"Give me your other hand." Nukid said.

"But, what if I can reach Spud's head?" TL asked, "THEN, I can figure out what happened and why I forgot!"


"THAT'S JUST IT!" TL roared, "I WANT THIS BECAUSE I'M NOT LIKE YOU!" Nukid remained silent as TL said, calmly, "Well…I WANTED to be like you. You got one of the most popular Author Fighters fics so far. I figured…if I could make my fics awesome, I could be more popular. I mean, you've got no weapons, next to no powers, save that awesome Rokushi deal, and you've got no family. Me? I've had everything ripped away from me! My parents died by my hand, my aunt died of illness, my sensei was killed by one of my worst enemies, and all I have left are my brothers and they hardly understand what I'm going through. I'm all alone…"

"No, you're not." Nukid replied, holding out another hand, "Take the hand, TL."

TL thought between starting anew and remembering what he went through to forget in the first place. He took a new start. He reached out his hand to grab Nukid's other hand. Nukid heaved the hedgehog up. Meanwhile, with Oldkid and Johan…

"I've got you now, Dopehan!" Oldkid growled.

"On the contrary, I'VE got YOU!" Johan replied. He snapped his whip around Oldkid's ankle and pulled. The insane Darkside tripped and released Johan. Johan then swung Oldkid away and the Darkside barely grabbed the edge.

"YOU were gonna turn every Author into being like NUKID?" Johan asked before saying, "And AFTER the readers got bored enough with the similarities to kill themselves, what were you gonna do next? And, if every villain were like you, what would be so special about you then? It's not about how relatable the Author is, it's about how the Author can save the day! If every Author Fighter was the same…"

"Forgot something?" Oldkid asked as he flung himself up, jumped behind Johan, and grabbed the Chaos Darkside from behind in a strangle hold. He then grinned before taunting, "Remember the TL Chronicle, TLSoulDude's FIRST Author fic? When you were in it, you weren't named and didn't even get a single line. You know what I did for that? I sent TL a thank-you note!"

These words rang in Johan's ears. He then used some Darkness jutsu to vanish and reappear behind Oldkid. The Chaos Darkside then brought his whip down and it wrapped itself around Oldkid's body.

"TL's considering rebooting that fic." Johan growled, "AND, if he does, he'll give me a better appearance!"

"Guys!" TL shouted to the two, "The bomb's about to go off and us with it!"

"Not if I have anything to say about it." Oldkid snarled. He then glanced over to Spud's head. "SPUD!"

"'Sup?" Spud asked.

"Did Drake happen to have any plans that involved us getting the hell out of here?" Oldkid asked.

"Yes, sir." Spud replied, "Plan Q."

"Then initiate Plan Q!" Oldkid ordered.

"Cool." Spud said before the two vanished.

"GUYS!" TL shouted as the body exploded. The three were sent to the ground in heaps.

"Well, at least Johan's DEAD now." Ino said.

"You ain't gettin' rid o' me that easy!" Johan proclaimed, appearing out of nowhere, blackened and bruised.

"You're welcome, idiot." Anti-TL groaned as he crawled out of the twisted, burning wreckage.

"Now, you should be coming back with me!" Hades said as he appeared in smoke.

"Thank goodness. I was happier being DEAD." Anti-TL said as he vanished back into the Underworld with Hades.

"What now?" TL asked.

"We go to my bar and celebrate." Nukid replied with a grin.


TL gulped down the last cup of tequila on a platter. THIS would have to be the third or fourth time he got drunk.

"Thanks for the drinks, Nukid!" TL shouted.

"Sure you'll be able to get home tonight?" Airnaruto asked.

"Are you kiddin'?" TL asked, "I'M ON TOP OF THE WORLD!"

"If you say so." X said, holding a bottle to his mask, but not drinking it.

"Wait, I think I owe an explanation." Nukid said, grabbing TL's shoulder. "Has anyone wondered WHY Spud exploded while he was trying to alter TL's perception of reality?"

"Not really." Airnaruto replied, "Hey, I was being controlled, too! I can't remember that part!"

"Well, it was supernatural. Let's just leave it at that." Nukid answered.

"Wait, you KNEW he was gonna explode like that?!" Loony demanded.

"Yeah. So what?" Nukid asked.

"But still, it'd be great to remember the things I forgot." TL said.

"But that's what makes you an excellent author and fighter." Nukid explained, "You're able to look on the brighter side of life, even when you're being wracked with misery. My friend, your ability to hold onto that form of optimism may be stupid, but it's what makes you who you are—a goofball hedgehog who can do the right thing."

"Wait, I thought you said you DIDN'T have any friends." Dimensiondude said.

"I did, but that's only an expression." Nukid replied before saying to TL, "But, TL, I'd like to say that we're now…acquaintances."

"Thanks, Nukid. That means a lot to me." TL said. He then walked away.

"Well, we'd better be going." Airnaruto said.

"You're just going off to brood over the fact that you were turned into some mindless lackey, aren't you?" Nukid asked.

"You HAD to bring that up?" Ranger snapped. The group left, except Nukid. He sighed.

"I know you're there, DM." Nukid said.

DM appeared out of nowhere and said, "Look, Nukid, about what happened…"

"It's fine." Nukid answered.

"I just wanted you to know that…"

"I already accepted your apology!" Nukid barked, "Sometimes you Americans are too melodramatic…"

"What about TL?" DM asked, "What's this thing he forgot?"

"He DID have a girlfriend." Nukid answered, "Hanabi Hyuga. The pairing was started by X Prodigy and TL got addicted to it."

"How'd he forget?" DM asked.

"Because he's thinking about another Author fic and, in the brainstorming, he left her with Drake to save Team Wanderer's lives and hers." Nukid replied. He then said, "Don't tell Hanabi. It'd break 'er heart."

"Didn't D-Dude and Loony…"

"He made them promise not to tell until they had to." Nukid answered, "And he'd probably do the same thing again if they did."

"But why do we have to leave him in the dark?!" DM snarled, "He's a fellow Author!"

"Because he hasn't concluded the story yet." Nukid answered, "And because he can take it."

We see TL walking away.

"Because he's the kind of hero that the Authors have been waiting for." Nukid continued, narrating, "But not the one it's quite ready for—one who expresses his belief through writing and gives his fics strong morality to them. He can take any emotional blow and still get back up to rejoin the fight."

"Why's that?" DM asked.

"Because he's not exactly a hero." Nukid answered, continuing his narration, "He's the Leader of Team Wanderer, a part of the Team Otherworld Detective Agency, AND the Author Fighters." Nukid then concluded, dramatically, "The Authors need people like him—the Fictronian Ultima Master!"

Fade out.

Oh the power to be strong and the wisdom to be wise.

All these things will come to you in time!

On this journey that you're makin', there'll be answers that you seek.

And it's you who'll climb the mountain.

It's you who'll reach the peak!

Son of man, look to the sky!

Lift your spirit, set it free!

Someday, you'll walk tall with pride.

Son of man, a man in time, you'll be!

Oh, there's no one there to guide you, no one to take your hand.

But with faith and understanding, you will journey from boy to man!

Son of man, look to the sky!

Lift your spirit, set it free!

Someday, you'll walk tall with pride.

Son of man, a man in time, you'll be!

In learning, you will teach.

And in teaching, you will learn!

You'll find your place beside the ones you love.

Oh, and all the things you dreamed of,

The visions that you saw.

Well, the time is drawing near now.

It's yours to claim it all!

Son of man, look to the sky!

Lift your spirit, set it free!

Someday, you'll walk tall with pride.

Son of man, a man in time, you'll be!

Son of man…

Son of man's a man for all to see!

Oldkid and Spud's head appeared in some dark cave.

"Well, whatever Drake's plans were, I didn't expect them to lead here." Oldkid said.

A metallic hand then grabbed Oldkid by the throat and heaved him up. The person had black hair, an agent-esque suit, metal hands with fingers sharpened into claws, and a voice that resembled Hugo Weaving's.

"I should probably just drain your life force right now." The person, TL's arch nemesis named Blacknova, snarled, "BUT, you could redeem yourself by taking me to a place called…Nukid's!"

"Spud…" Oldkid gasped.

"Yes, sir?" Spud's head asked.

"Tell Drake that…" Oldkid gasped, "Plan Q SUCKS!"

"Yeah, I know." Spud replied.

The End…for now!

TLSoulDude: Boy, this was one crazy fic!

Nukid: You're tellin' me.

Airnaruto: So, do you have anything planned?

TLSoulDude: Well, I've got one where I return to earth after Anti-TL's Wrath, one where Nukid and I are chained together…

Nukid: What?!

TLSoulDude: One where Team Wanderer and Team Faust meet, and, as mentioned, one where I leave Hanabi with Drake. Dunno when I'll be posting them, though. And, after this, I'll be posting my Treasure Planet parody! I'd better get ready to play Silver!

X Prodigy: And I'm looking forward to the Team Faust deal.

TLSoulDude: Just wait until I post it.

The song earlier was Son of Man by Phil Collins from the Tarzan soundtrack and theme song for TLSoulDude.