A/N: I was having problems with my other stories… So I decided to spaz out and do this. It's horrible but I think that's what I like about. The goofy parts…

Shikamaru had barely been dragged through the door by Naruto, before Sasuke slammed through the mall doors, others in tow, and ran for them. The mischievous blonde grabbed Shika's arm tight and sped for the one place none of the guys would ever dare to go: a petting zoo.

Shikamaru and Naruto hid behind a sheep, watching as the guys shrieked in terror at the girly and fluffy sight. Kiba, in his manly nature, fainted at the horrific, and possibly life-scarring, images. Our favorite fox-boy sighed in relief and looked up at the brunette next to him, half-awake. He grabbed a fistful of his net shirt and pulled him down into a rough, wet kiss. Shika's tongue explored Naruto's warm mouth before pulling away and giving a weird look at the crowd of boys.

Gaara stood at the front of the group, arms spread out like he was preparing to open up the sea of animals without touching them. Blue eyes widened considerably when he recalled something. Gaara could talk to animals!! He hadn't believed it himself until he saw the red-head call raccoons on one of his guards. Slowly, the fuzzy side the couple had rested behind disappeared, giving the boys on the outside of the zoo a view of the other guys.

"Get them," Neji cackled as the boys ran (well Chouji just stayed where he was, eating a pretzel) for the couple. Neji's eyes flashed an evil color and the usual polite person seemed to be lost for the current angry and lustful version. Oh well. You can catch more flies with force then honey… Is that how it goes? No?

~*~*~

A tan hand clutched at the paler one in his hand. The other tan hand was placed on a heaving chest through cloth. The owner of the paler hand looked around the corner hesitantly. Shikamaru wondered if a date with Naruto was really worth, well, moving. And running away from all those rapid fanboys. He glanced at the blonde boy, mouth slightly open and face flushed. It WAS worth it.

They stood there a while before heading to the mall's arcade. Inside the dark room with flashing lights, they headed for the racecar games. That way Shikamaru could sit and spaz out but Naruto could still be his hyper self. The two boys were doing just fine 'til a large group of people caught Naruto's eye.

Standing outside the arcade, faces pressed to glass were a bunch of very familiar looking janitors, all with matching black mustaches. The wide eyes, unblinking, sent a shudder through the two inside.

Shikamaru sighed. "I guess we should end our date here for today. I really want to know how they got a janitor suit in Chouji's size. Or got arrested for looking so suspicious." Naruto nodded and got up.

"Our date is done now, happy?! You guys are so rude," Naruto complained. Faces peeled from glass and smiles graced their flat faces.

"It's our turn now," Shino squealed, earning confused looks from everyone. The object of everyone's affection nodded.

Sasuke clapped his hands and Gaara brought out (from who knows where) a large CD player. "Hit it, tanuki-boy!"

Sir-Mix-A-Lot's 'Jump On It' poured from the machine. The boys were in a line, making hand gestures that looked like they were spanking something in front of them. They changed directions, still spanking something invisible in front of them. Overall…it was embarrassing. Sasuke and Kankuro broke from the line; Kankuro laid down a cardboard stage, leaving Sasuke to break-dance on it. Nobody in the mall had seen anything as weird as the very pale (like vampire-pale) Uchiha spinning on his head and the black-dressed, face-paint covered sand sib rapping with the song. In fact, everyone who saw it had to attend therapy.

Naruto buried his face in his hands as the other males (excluding Shika, who had fallen asleep quickly) started jumping 'on it'. Sai had an amused, but still slightly fake, smile on as he ground his hips to the music.

~*~*~

"Ino, I told you not to pick that guy up! We've lost them!" Sakura glared at Ino, who like herself, was covered in blood, looking disoriented, and shaking slightly.

"How was I supposed to know that you can't trust a guy in a hockey mask?! And I hadn't even seen the chainsaw 'til he pulled in out." Ino sighed, walking around the mall looking for the boys to show up on radar was boring. The only exciting thing today had been when Sakura and her teamed up, killed the weird man, and buried him in Kiba's backyard.

Rapid beeps came from the machine and she glanced up at the upper level of the mall. Ino could see them!

"Quick, Ino!" Sakura yelled and pointed to the escalators. "To the stair-thingies!"

A/N:… Well, that sucked… XD Oh well, I just did this so I can get to work on the others… Until next time.