Pen interrupted, the click clack of her heels sharp against the tile floor as she rounded the foot of the bed. "Not so fast there, Agent Rossi. I believe that I have a few things to tell our judge here and my little lying chocolate God of thunder."
"Garcia," Dave said carefully. Flashing a grin over her shoulder at the frazzled "almost" father and husband, Garcia winked. Moving forward to stand in front of Morgan and the judge, she smiled. "In accordance with Section Eight, Paragraph 12, Line 14 of the Best Friend Code of Conduct, I feel the need to inform both of you gentlemen, that upsetting my pregnant, laboring best friend is a grievous infraction of the rules. Suffice it to say that the punishment for violating the rules is extreme. Kindly let the pretty lady in the bed know that she is NOT a ticking time bomb, gentlemen. That you do, in fact, understand the seriousness of this situation and are going to make every effort to help her in the upcoming minutes with WHATEVER it is she chooses to do," Penelope ordered.
"Sorry, Jayje," Morgan called immediately.
Eyes widening on the pink and blonde haired woman standing before him with dangerously glinting eyes and beating out a staccato beat with her lime green high heel, Judge Paulson nodded readily. "Of course," he gulped. Looking at JJ, he continued, "Anything you need, miss."
"I NEED to be married before I shoot this kid out of my-," JJ yelled as a contraction ripped through her again.
Slapping a hand over her mouth, Dave yelled, "I think you get the point, judge!" Dave was gonna add more, but the scream that tore from his throat rivaled the one coming from his almost- wife. jerking his hand away quickly, Rossi yelped, "Dammit, JJ, you bit me!"
Eyes glinting with pain and anger, JJ ground out through clenched teeth, "You're lucky that's all I did, you bastard." Breathing harshly through her nose and mouth, JJ dropped both fists to the bed, pushing hard against the mattress as her body seemed to actually levitate for a moment. "Damn it, Rossi, move it! Not much time here!"
Her tone seemed to suddenly whip everyone in the room into action. As Garcia chattered ninety miles an hour, pointing the judge in one direction and Morgan in the other, the nurse suddenly reappeared with JJ's doctor, followed quickly by Hotch and Prentiss. Dave met Hotch's eyes from the other side of the room, and suddenly wondered if he was seeing fear, pity or humor in his former protégé's reflection. Hell, who cared any more, he thought. At this point, he just wanted to meet his child and find his wife's original personality among all of those alters that seemed to have suddenly developed. The sharp intake of breath drew his attention back to the woman in the bed, and he watched her face scrunch, this time totally different than before. JJ's hand suddenly grabbed his with a vengeance, and he turned sharply to meet her eyes.
At the look of sheer terror in them, Rossi said quickly, "JJ, what's wrong?"
"It hurts! I mean, it really, really hurts!" JJ gasped.
"What hurts, baby?" Dave said, pushing her sweaty hair off her face.
"It feels like I need-," JJ began to say but was cut off by the doctor who had arrived.
"Ms. Jareau, I need to check your progression here," the doctor told them. Six pair of eyes suddenly turned toward the ceiling as Garcia, Prentiss, Reid, Morgan, Hotch and the Judge all stared heavenward.
"We're at a ten, JJ. It's time to start pushing," the doctor told her with an encouraging smile.
"NO!" JJ barked at the doctor. "I will NOT! Where the hell is that judge?" she gasped.
Reaching out an arm to grab the unsuspecting man and drag him forward, Rossi replied, "He's right here, baby!" Turning to stare at the nervously twitching man beside him, David growled, "Marry us! NOW!!"
The judge looked warily at the obviously angry, agitated and scared David Rossi and then at the obviously pain-ridden Jennifer Jareau as he cleared his throat and said, hesitantly, "I don't know what that brash young man over there might have told you, but contrary to popular belief, I don't have the marriage ceremony memorized. Unless someone can provide me with a copy of traditional vows, then..."
Morgan yelled across the room, amazement in his voice, "What the hell? Man, you're a federal judge. You're married. JUST MAKE UP SOME DAMN WORDS before that woman kills us all!"
JJ screamed over everyone else at that moment, her hand pulling Rossi right next to her, "I don't want made up words, David Rossi! I want the real thing, or else, we won't be married!" Gasping sharply, JJ's eyes literally bugged out of her head as she valiantly fought the urges that her body was demanding. "NOW, David! NOW!"
Dropping his free hand to her cheek, Rossi swept his thumb against her skin as he agreed quickly. "It's gonna happen, babe. Trust me. It's gonna happen."
The doctor interrupted as he said with a frown, "Really, Ms. Jareau, we can't..."
Seeing the look of murder crossing JJ"s face, every agent in the room yelled, "Don't call her Ms. Jareau" in unison as Rossi suddenly yelled, "REID!"
Reid jerked, looking up from the corner of the room where he had his back pressed firmly against the solid wall. Swallowing convulsively, he said with a stutter, "Y...Yes, agent Rossi?"
Nailing the younger agent with a firm gaze, Rossi asked, a tinge of hope in his voice, "You know the wedding ceremony, don't you? With that memory of yours, it has to be somewhere in your brain."
Reid nodded quickly as he replied, "I can recite the standard Judeo-Christian vows, the Catholic vows and mass, the Hindi marriage confession, a traditional Jewish observance of the marriage commitment, and I believe I once read the..."
Hotch said dryly, jerking the younger man out of the corner, "The first one will do, Reid. Trust me."
Rossi looked at the now-pale judge, and growled, "You say whatever that kid tells you to say. You've got two minutes. Make the most of them."
Ninety-three seconds later, in between various screams of pain, death threats, moans and the monumental task of pushing an eight pound baby from her body, Jennifer Jareau became Jennifer Rossi. This occurred exactly one and a half minutes before a black haired, blue eyed, eight pound three ounce baby girl emerged from said woman's body with an angry put upon wail.
While Hotch, Prentiss, and Garcia cheered and Morgan tried to resuscitated Reid from the dead faint he'd fallen into after stepping too close to the bed and seeing a sight he'd never wanted to see and the judge took a pull from the flask in his jacket, David Rossi stared at his new wife and daughter in amazement.
"We're married," he heard Jennifer say in a dazed voice. "And, I'm a mother."
David reached a tentative hand out, his finger barely touching his daughter's cheek as she laid against his wife's breast. Trying to speak, he suddenly found that he was completely unable to form a single word. Completely surrounded by the chaos of his team, the doctor still working, the nurse standing by anxiously, David Rossi's entire world focused on those two beautiful Rossi women with identical sapphire gazes. Meeting his wife's eyes, David swallowed, finally finding his voice as he whispered hoarsely, "You did it, Jennifer. She's actually here. I'm a father. You gave me a baby!" Eyes widening, he added, "And you made me a husband for the last time in my life."
"I know." JJ placed her finger next to his on their daughter's cheek as she asked, awe still in her voice, "We never decided on a name, David. What are we going to call her?"
Dave shook his head slowly, his eyes never leaving the sight in front of him. "The last ones we talked about were Susannah and Maria."
The doctor and nurse wished them well, proclaimed that all was currently well, and the nurse said that she would return in ten minutes to finish up everything. JJ and Rossi barely acknowledged their exit as their attention was drawn to the newest member of their family.
JJ tilted her head as she gazed intently at her squirming daughter, automatically tightening the snuggled blanket even more around the red-cheeked infant. Whispering softly, she said, "What do you think you should be called, beautiful? Cause Momma and Daddy really don't want to get this one wrong."
From his position across the room, Morgan pulled Penelope tighter against him as he said with a laugh, "You'd have thought that JJ'd have a rule in place already for naming the munchkin."
Pen punched him in the ribs with her elbow, flashing a grin when he grunted. "Don't you dare say a thing against that precious woman. She just gave birth. I don't see you don't that anytime soon."
Turning her attention toward JJ and Rossi, Pen tossed out loudly, "Well, I've always been partial to Tivoli, you know. Can't go wrong with a nice strong Italian name."
Flashing quick eyes toward the blonde tech goddess, Rossi said, "Really? Wouldn't have never known, Garcia."
JJ said softly, never removing her eyes from her daughter, "Don't be mean to Garcia, David. She saved our lives today."
Reid stepped forward, but just barely, not daring to get close enough to risk having his eyes fall out from seeing things that would scar him for life. Blinking rapidly, he said, "Did you know that in the Byzantine era, it was considered common custom for the new mother to actually wait for the first three…"
Catching the glare that Rossi threw his way, Hotch suddenly stepped forward and pulled Reid back as he murmured, "You can tell them later, Reid."
Watching as JJ seemed to snuggle the baby even closer, Rossi frowned. He could read this woman better than she could herself, and he quickly realized that her stamina was coming to a quick end. Dropping a hand to her neck and massaging gently, he was rewarded with a faint smile. Catching Hotch's eyes, Rossi said clearly, including everyone in the room, "Could you guys give us just a moment? JJ and I need to have a second to just come to grips with everything."
Within a minute, their team had filed out, calls of congratulations in the air as they made their way to the vending machines for various kinds of liquid caffeine. As soon as the door closed behind a smiling Morgan, Rossi sat down on the edge of the bed and tilted JJ's chin. "Talk to me, babe. What's got you confused over the name for this angel?"
JJ shook her head softly as she murmured, "I want to give her a name that is hers, David. I don't want to name her after my Mom or your grandmother. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but she's ours and I want her to have something special."
Smiling into that beautiful face, Rossi leaned forward, pressing a simple, soft kiss against JJ's lips. Whispering, he said, "We'll name her whatever you want." Dropping a hand over JJ's that was holding their baby, Rossi added slowly, "We talked about Maria. What about switching that to Mara?"
"Mara." JJ said the name slowly, staring down at the baby as she asked, "Do you like that name, Mara?" When the baby pursed her tiny lips in her sleep, both of her parents laughed at the sight.
"Well, at least it was a response."
Nodding, she agreed, "Mara it is."
Rossi slid off the bed, easily lowering the rails as he dropped onto the mattress against his wife and daughter. Helping JJ settle carefully against him, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders as he wrapped the other hand around the baby. "So, honey, what are you thinking for a middle name? I got the first one, so it's your turn now."
Raising hesitant eyes, JJ said, "I know that neither one of us considers ourselves to be particularly religious, but I've thought a lot about grace recently. And about how this is a gift that I never thought we'd ever have."
Rossi tried the name out as he said softly, "Mara Grace Rossi."
"No, Mara Gracia Rossi." As soon as the words came out of her mouth, JJ smiled, knowing that they had found the perfect name for their firstborn child.
And, as David Rossi laid in that hospital bed holding his entire world in his arms, he once again thanked God for sending these angels into his life. And for the Rules of Attraction.