Disclaimer:

Characters based on Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Saga.

(Nessie POV)

Just as expected, the preparation for Tanya and Embry's wedding was in full swing, thanks to Alice. She really was a miracle worker with parties. She could pull off a grand party in a few hours that would probably take at least three dozens of people.

The imprints were all settled in the living room while Alice and I gathered the make up we would be using for the make up testing. I really didn't imagine that this was our agenda for Tanya's bachelorette party, but then again, Dad was very keen against hiring a stripper or watching Rated R movies. "My daughter is three years old, in case you forgot," Dad's firm voice was still ringing in my ear as he reminded Rosalie and Alice before he left with the guys. We would have to stick to watching regular chick flicks, much to the older women's dismay, so Alice picked the good ones.

As I descended the stairs, I saw the girls gathered around the living room, happily chatting among one another, except for Mom who was still pouting because Rosalie wouldn't leave her alone. Alice was so thankful I didn't inherit 'plainness' from Mom. I set the makeup on the middle table and Kate grabbed a lip tint and played with Salia. I remembered when I was that small when Kate got married. I was the flower girl after all.

It was interesting how my life changed so drastically for the past three years. I grew up so fast that I didn't get to experience how it was being a child. I remembered being held by Grandpa Charlie for the first time after the shock wore off about Mom and Dad having a child, about Jacob being a werewolf and the greatest discovery of all time, when he figured out that my family were vampires. He figured it out the way Mom did, putting things together, at least that's what they told me. After Jacob's revelation to Grandpa Charlie, he started to be more observant and figured out the legends and secrets of both my family and the La Push tribe. It helped a bit for Grandpa to be more open to my fast development. It didn't scare him anymore when I accidentally touched his face and talked to him in my mind.

Even though there was a time that I did look like a little girl, my mind was so mature that my family needed to filter what they said around me because I would mimic and process everything they said and done. It made me envy the little girls that I watched from the TV shows. Sometimes I found myself trying to act young, especially around my family. I could feel that it brought comfort to my parents that maybe I wasn't growing too fast. We were all hoping in vain, but even for a fraction of my life, I was that little girl.

I remembered the times when I used to act like a little girl with Alice and Rosalie played with me, especially when we buy new clothes. Uncle Jasper and Uncle Emmett were very pleased with themselves when they had to protect me from having any bruises when we play at the backyard. Grandpa Carlisle and Granma Esme were so happy when I used to sit on their lap when they tell stories about the past. Most of all, I would never forget the loving look my parents gave me every time they came home from school. They would hold me in each others arms and showered me with kisses.

It was also so much fun when I could pretend to still be young, even my mind was many years ahead of my age. I could still clearly remember when I walked the aisle when Kate was married. Everyone adored me as the little girl who was so cute that day. Looking at my reflection by the window, it felt like it was a lifetime ago.

"Earth to Nessie," Kate snapped her fingers in front of me that brought my attention back to the group.

"I thought we lost you there for a second," Emily said.

"Just thinking," I replied sheepishly and absentmindedly grabbed the closest eye shadow. "It wasn't long ago when I was the flower girl. It's just kinda weird to be the one putting on make up instead of the little doll walking around," I said laughing.

"You were a lot easier to deal with than your mother," Rosalie said and shook her head towards Mom.

"Some things will never change," Alice said and continued playing with Tanya's hair. "I think we should leave your hair down for the wedding. I think Embry likes you with your hair down."

"I think it's a wolf thing," Kim said. "You're lucky, Nessie, Jacob doesn't pester you with your hair."

I rolled my eyes on her and my family made a gesture to the imprints not to bring up anything about Jacob. "I'll get more napkins," I said as I got up. I headed to the kitchen and stood there for awhile. I had to silently laugh at myself; walking away was starting to be my habit. I walked away the other day when Jacob and I had our argument in the forest, I walked away after my Dad's comment about him being a guy, and now I walked away when the topic about Jacob came up again. I couldn't help it though. It was not like I could come up with something smart to say; I hadn't learned that lesson from Rosalie yet.

Before I worry anybody in the other room, I grabbed a stack of napkins and brought it over. I interacted with everybody as we watched the movies and painted our nails and put make up on. I observed the imprints and how happy they looked. I couldn't help but feel jealous that they know what lies ahead for them, how they knew what it was like to share everything with their partners.

After a few hours, the imprints left for the night. Tanya and Kate went with them to drop them off to La Push. Alice told us to put down all the decorations. All of us looked at her puzzled, but did as we were told. We were expecting that she would want to replace the decorations, but we were surprised when nothing followed.

"What is going on, Alice?" Carmen asked.

"I'm sorry but you'll have to wait until tomorrow. This is all Embry," she smiled and glided to the flowers. She started working on the flower arrangement. "This is so romantic," she squealed and continued gliding around the room. It was driving all of us crazy. She made her way to me, "I hope Jacob will be as half as romantic as Embry. It would be so much fun to plan your we…"

I stared at Alice. She didn't dare finish what she was about to say, but she already said enough. "Plan what, Alice? Whatever fantasy you have in your head, it's not happening so while it's early, just give it up." I huffed and walked away.

"Oh, come on, Ness, it was just a joke," Rosalie called out but I was too busy ignoring them and closed the door behind me when I got to my parents' room. I sat at the end of the bed and stared out the window. It was a good idea not to turn on the lights; I would hate to see my reflection on the window. I grabbed Dad's old guitar by the bend and started strumming. I suddenly started playing a song that had been stuck in my head since I heard it. It hurt to say the words…

I miss those blue eyes, how you kiss me at night

I miss the way you sleep

Like there's no sunrise, like the taste of your smile

I miss the way we breathe

But I never told you what I should have said

No, I never told you, I just held it in

I was quite young but I every memory I had was very clear. Jacob used to sleep on the sofa as I slept on the love seat. It was our routine after running with my parents when they hunt. He would wait for me to sleep before stretching on the sofa. His voice used to soothe me when he read bedtime stories to me as I fall asleep. When I got a little older, mentally, I started waking up in the middle of the night and peeked over the sofa to see him smiling on his sleep. There were times that I wanted to wake him up just to ask what his dream was about, but I became too shy when I became aware of my attraction to him.

And now I miss everything about you

I can't believe it, I still want you

And after all the things we've been through

I miss everything about you, without you

Was I being petty for making a big deal when I got upset about him keeping a secret from me? I missed Jacob; I wouldn't even deny that fact. But I couldn't see any effort from him and it hurt even more that after saying that he would try to make it up to me, but there was no effort. The hopes that I had earlier were nothing but just that, hope.

I see your blue eyes every time I close mine

You make it hard to see

Where I belong to, when I'm not around you

It's like I'm not with me

But I never told you what I should have said

No, I never told you, I just held it in

I had to laugh a little when I thought about the song. He didn't have blue eyes; he had these beautiful brown eyes that penetrated through me. I remembered when he told me about teaching me how to drive. Seating across him in that restaurant, staring at me, made my insides squirm and twist and after that, I became distracted with every time I would see him looking my way. It was hard to avoid his eyes especially it was the best thing to look at, his eyes, his smile, his face, everything about him. And after that day, I couldn't even look at him the same way I used to.

And now I miss everything about you

I can't believe it, I still want you

And after all the things we've been through

I miss everything about you, without you

But I never told you what I should have said

No, I never told you, I just held it in

And now I miss everything about you

I can't believe it, I still want you

And after all the things we've been through

I miss everything about you, without you

The songs kept playing in my head even after I put the guitar down. I stared outside the window and the moonlight reflected a little bit of light through the glass. I saw the reflection of my sad face and the tears kept falling even as I quickly wiped it away. I hated how I grew up so fast; I hated that I was not normal; I hated everything that changed because of what I was; I hated the fact that I was going through this emotional roller coaster because of a guy.

I closed my eyes and tried to clear my head. I'm done thinking of you…I'm done thinking of you…I'm done thinking of you I repeated in my head and I slowly opened my eyes. Maybe it was the trick of the tears that were still falling from my eyes because I thought I saw the familiar brown eyes by the trees of the forest. And the internal battle in my heart started again…

A/N: Sorry it took almost a year.

The song is by Colbie Calliat – I Never Told You