Chapter 3: Bushwhacked
The Uncanny R-Man
Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to Marvel Comics.
Sheriff Buford T. Pepper paced his office angrily. Several of those pesky mutants came into his prison and stole away one of his prisoners. The mutants might have been members of the X-Men, but Sheriff Pepper planned on making them pay for humiliating him and putting his son in the hospital during a barroom brawl. Which was why the sheriff had hired the mercenary known as Bushwhacker.
Bushwhacker, whose real name was Carl Burbank, was a former priest who abandoned his vows after the drug-related deaths of several of his young parishioners. He then joined the CIA, who fitted him with a cybernetic arm and made him an assassin. Bushwhacker only stayed in the employ of the CIA for a short while until he turned to freelance mercenary work. Bushwhacker was best known for taking out mutant targets, which was precisely why Sheriff Pepper had employed him.
'So, I take it you want me to take care of that little mutant problem you had a few days ago.' Bushwhacker deduced.
'Wait… how'd y'all know about that?' Sheriff Pepper asked.
'News travels fast in a little hick town like Bullspit.' Bushwhacker stated. 'Wait… this mutant ain't Wolverine is it, cuz that would cost you extra. He's a real pain in the butt to kill.'
'Everything y'all will need is in here.' Sheriff Pepper said as he slid a photograph over the desk to Bushwhacker. The mercenary picked up the photo and took a look. It was of a beautiful dark-skinned young woman standing with two young girls.
'Her name's Monet St Croix, or somethin' fancy like that.' Sheriff Pepper explained. 'Those two girls are her sisters. The Friends of Humanity's website's got all the info on them X-Men.'
'Looks easy enough.' Bushwhacker sniffed as he pocketed the photo. 'You got the money?'
'Half a million.' Sheriff Pepper nodded as he put a battered brown leather bag on the table. 'You get a quarter million now, and the rest once you take care of the mutie.'
'Sounds good to me.' Bushwhacker nodded as he took the bag of money from the sheriff. 'This chick don't look so tough. This is going to be the easiest half million I ever made.'
Salem Centre, several days later-
Monet St Croix walked down the street hand-in-hand with her two younger sisters Nicole and Claudette. The twins had just enrolled in the Xavier Institute For Higher Learning, and Monaco-born powerhouse was taking them out to buy new clothes.
'Monet, can we stop for ice-cream?' Nicole asked.
'Nicole, I have already told you, we didn't come here to eat ice-cream.' Monet sighed. 'We need you buy you new clothes for school.'
'Claudette wants to know why we can't wear our normal clothes.' Nicole inquired.
Monet stopped and knelt down in front of her twin sisters.
'Remember that you two are members of the St Croix family.' Monet told them. 'You have an image to uphold, and you will not be seen wearing those horrid rags that people like Jubilee wears.'
'Why are you so mean to Jubilee, Monet?' Nicole frowned up at her older sister. 'She's your friend, and she's always nice to us, isn't she Claudette?'
The mute St Croix sister simply nodded in agreement.
'See?' Nicole said. 'We both think that Jubilee's pretty cool.'
'I am not going to buy you one of those awful yellow trench coats.' Monet told her sisters. 'I swear, Jubilee must have worn that one coat for God knows how many years. I'm surprised that the thing hasn't fallen to pieces.'
'Monet, that's just dumb.' Nicole scoffed. 'I bet Jubilee's got loads of those coats. If you're not going to buy Claudette and me one of them, I bet Jubilee will just give us one of hers.'
Monet groaned in frustration. She really wished that her sisters didn't hang around with Jubilee so much, she was a bad influence on them.
'If I buy you some ice-cream, will you forget about all this yellow trench coat nonsense?' Monet asked her sisters.
'Okay!' Nicole smiled. 'Come on, Claudette. don't you want any ice-cream?'
Claudette just stood stock still, not moving an inch.
'Claudette, what's the matter?' Monet asked concernedly.
'Monet, look out!' Nicole called out.
The dark-skinned mutant spun around just in time to see a nearby car explode.
Monet grabbed her sisters and pulled them close in an attempt to protect them. Monet was pretty much invulnerable, but her sisters were not.
'Ooh, what a miss!' Bushwhacker groaned as he walked towards Monet and her sisters. 'You can bet that the next one won't miss.'
'Who the hell are you?' Monet growled at the mercenary. 'You have no idea who you are messing with, little man!'
'I'm Bushwhacker, baby!' The mercenary crowed. 'You must have heard of me, I beat Daredevil and the Punisher! Not to mention Wolverine! Let's not forget Wolverine!'
'You obviously haven't beaten them hard enough.' Monet pointed out with a scowl. 'Seeing that Daredevil is still hopping around the roofs of Hell's Kitchen. The Punisher and Wolverine are still active too.'
'I'm not here to reminisce.' Bushwhacker said. 'I'm here to kill you, mutie!'
'Now, this is getting old.' Monet sighed. 'You girls find somewhere to hide while I talk to the stupid man, okay?'
Nicole nodded in understanding and led her twin sister away to find somewhere to take refuge.
'So, you say that you intend to kill me.' Monet said as she dusted herself off and walked towards Bushwhacker.
'Yeah, that's tight!' Bushwhacker nodded. 'I'm gonna kill you good!'
'I can't believe this…' Monet groaned as she pinched the bridge of her nose. 'If you intend to kill me, at least speak something remotely resembling English while you do it.'
'Don't come any closer!' Bushwhacker warned her. 'Stay right where you are!'
'What makes you think that you actually have any chance of killing me?' Monet asked as she crossed her arms over her chest. 'Don't you villains even bother to do any research into who you're supposed to be killing?'
'I don't need to do any research!' Bushwhacker retorted. 'All I need yo know is that I've been paid to kill you!'
'Go on then.' Monet smirked, holding her arms wide. 'Do it. Shoot me. Give me your best shot.'
'Huh…?' Bushwhacker blinked in confusion.
'What are you waiting for?' Monet asked. 'I'm letting you take a shot at me. Unless you are a coward of course…'
Bushwhacker had finally had enough. Nobody, but nobody, called him a coward!
Bushwhacker took aim with his cybernetic arm and shot Monet right in the face. Of course, the attack barely made a scratch on the Monaco native's face.
'If you ever bothered to do any research, you would find that I am invulnerable.' Monet pointed out as she grabbed Bushwhacker by his cybernetic arm. 'Not to mention that I have super strength.'
Monet gave Bushwhacker's cybernetic arm a quick yank and tore it right off his body.
'Ahh! You witch!' Bushwhacker howled in pain. 'You tore my freaking arm off!'
'You're lucky that it isn't your head, you idiot.' Monet said as she bent a lamppost around the defeated mercenary, holding him still. 'Also count yourself that you didn't hurt my sisters. I may not have been so merciful then.'
'You haven't heard the last of this!' Bushwhacker yelled. 'I'll make you pay for this, ya filthy mutie!'
'Oh, shut up.' Monet sighed as she flicked Bushwhacker on the side of the head, knocking him out.
'Nicole! Claudette!' Monet called to her sisters. 'It's safe to come out now!'
The St Croix twins carefully crept out from where they had taken refuge and rna towards their older sister.
'Monet, that was the coolest thing I ever saw!' Nicole grinned as she hugged Monet tight. 'You ripped his arm right off! You were awesome!'
Monet couldn't help but smile at that.
'Yes, I was rather awesome wasn't I?'
Next: Camp Blood
Something has been attacking and killing people in the woods, so what does Jubilee decide to do? She decides to take her friends on a camping trip to try and find out who, or what, is behind the killings.