AN: So this is my first Twilight Fic, my first ever one shot, my first time writing in the first person and though I hate to use the term, my first ever lemon. Don't know if it counts as smut but I like it. Hope you do too. This was originally written for the SMC contest but i found out it's a little too long so be entered. They said i could cut it down a teeny weeny bit and re submit but everytime i try i just cant do it...So i have withdrawn it and this is technically a repost but just so nobody gets confused it's no longer part of the contest but it did inspire me...thanx ladies!!!! Let me know but be nice? Oh and I have used some dialogue from the movie. Anyway on with the show……………
"What do you know about Rosalie Hale?"
The velvet smooth voice of my best friend Edward interrupted me and with a sigh I put side my copy of Wuthering Heights to look at him. My heart gave a little twist as it always did around Edward and he looked at me expectantly.
"She's a princess, she's rich, she's popular, she's spoiled, she's dumb, she's beautiful, what else is there?"
I hoped he wouldn't pick up on the acerbity in my tone. His bronze eyebrows rose quizzically and his green eyes met mine. It had been a vain hope. I fought back another sigh, this time of longing and forced myself to sound nonchalant.
"Why the sudden interest?"
"I'm not interested, more…. curious"
I felt a sharp pang inside. Edward, my best friend since Kindergarten, love of my life, was curious about a girl. To be honest I was lucky I'd had him to myself for so long, seventeen and he was finally showing an interest in girl. Unfortunately I wasn't the girl.
This time my voice dripped acid.
He grinned at me crookedly and my heart hammered, "I'm curious and you're getting hostile"
"Are too" he countered, laughing as he did.
"Anyway why are you so interested in Rosalie Hale?"
I didn't want to know but I had to, there was a difference.
He shrugged, his broad shoulders moving gracefully beneath his shirt and I fought not to stare.
"I just heard she broke up with Mike Newton-"
I snorted, "So maybe she does have some brains, that guy is an asshole"
"-And I thought I might ask her to prom"
He continued as though I hadn't spoken and this time I felt my heart plummet to my knees. He wanted to ask her to prom! The fact Edward even wanted to go to prom was news to me. He was the quiet nerd, who drew and loved to play piano; I was his non-dancing, clumsy, tomboy, best friend. We were without doubt two of the least popular students in the tiny school we called Forks High. Sure we had other friends but mainly we had each other. He kept me sane, helped me forget about my father who lived to work and my mother who lived to sleep the next available guy under twenty five who wasn't my father. He was my life.
"Bella" he prodded, obviously waiting for my reaction.
"Prom? You want ask Rosalie Hale to prom… it's because she's beautiful right it must be such a drag to be a slave to the male sex drive"
I fought against the blush that I knew would stain my cheeks when I thought about Edward and sex in the same sentence.
"I didn't say anything about sex"
Did I mention my knees went weak when he said sex?
To cover up my longing I snorted again "Oh, you wanna start book club with her"
"I didn't say I wanted to do anything with her"
"Do you have a death wish Edward?"
His beautiful green eyes became troubled and he ran a hand through his hair nervously, making the already tousled bronzed curls even messier. He looked so beautiful, I thought wistfully.
"Have you see Mike Newton?" I paused and then began to tick of his attributes on my fingers "He's buff, he's rich, he's extensively easy on the eye and in all likelihood will kick your ass when he finds out what you're planning"
"They broke up"
I looked at Edward, as much as I loved him, he could be very naive "This week, yeah but next week who knows"
He shifted on the stool and came to rest beside me on the bench. My skin prickled in reaction to his nearness and I was glad couldn't hear the way my heart raced as he slung an arm around my shoulders.
I turned to look at him with a smile, our eyes meeting and not for the first time I wished he could read my mind and realize how much I loved him. He was, bless him, totally clueless to the way I felt about him.
"What?" he asked me, a little smile playing on his perfectly sculpted lips.
"Nothing…so are you really going to ask her to prom?"
He looked sheepish and I swear I could pick out a faint blush staining his cheeks "Yeah I think I am"
I fought to keep the smile fixed on my face "it's your funeral"
So why did it feel like mine?
The next day was Monday and by last hour it was all over school that Rosalie and Mike had finished. Like the masochist I was, I found myself watching Edward watching Rosalie, trying to ignore the goofy smile on his face when he thought nobody was looking. Oh yeah he had it bad, I had caught that expression on his face on my own many, many times. The acute longing, the need and well, the down right lust.
It happened as we crossed the lot at the end of the day, I trailed behind Edward. Rosalie was there involved in some pretty heated discussions with Mike. I saw the concern on Edwards face and it made me want to hurl. I hung back, my heart in my mouth as Edward called out across the lot.
"Rosalie, can I talk to you for a second?"
She looked over at him, blatant disbelief on her oh so perfect features and then smirked at Mike. I couldn't make out what she said but she was crossing the lot and standing beside Edward, looking impatient, pushing her long blonde hair from her eyes.
I heard the sound of Edward clearing his throat and felt sick, he was going to do it, he was actually going to ask her to the prom.
"Er Hi" he said, his voice like velvet, so smooth, so seductive. Well I thought so.
"So since you and Mike broke up, I was wondering if you needed a date for prom"
Edward floundered for a minute and I felt heart and soul sorry for him.
"Would you like to go to prom with me?"
I heard Rosalie's little giggle and I wanted to slap her, how could she be so callous?
"You are asking me to prom?"
He nodded "I guess I am"
She looked over at Mike, who like me, was watching the exchange with a face like thunder and then back to Edward, a grin appearing.
"Sure" she said and threw a pointed look to where Mike stood, furious.
Edward beamed, his crooked smile, which made my heart stutter but she didn't even notice it.
"Great so I'll pick you up at seven on Saturday?"
Rosalie looked at her watch and tapped her foot impatiently "Yeah whatever"
Edward smiled once more before she walked away from him, to where a group of her friends now stood gaping. The second she was safely out of the way I moved towards him, he looked extraordinarily pleased with himself.
"I have a date, she's coming to prom with me" he crowed, his expressive eyes alight with laughter and pleasure.
"That's great Edward, really great"
I hoped my voice didn't sound as flat as I felt as we climbed into his car and he headed for my house. Edward talked about her for most of the journey and as much as it hurt, I just couldn't ruin it for him and tell him to shut the fuck up. I loved Edward and wanted him to be happy and right now he was. No matter how hard it was for me, he deserved this. Yet that didn't stop me voicing my concern, because I loved him I had to be sure that he had thought this all through. By asking out Rosalie Hale he had opened up a can of worms I wasn't sure he knew how to deal with.
"What about Newton" I ventured to ask, worried.
He glanced at me as he drove and then shrugged "What about him"
"He's not gonna like this Edward, he'll kill you, reduce your head to a crimson stain on the wall"
He frowned and looked angry "You obviously don't know how I feel…. I don't care about Mike"
I felt the beginnings of irritation prickle along my spine at his accusation. I above everyone knew how he felt. Unrequited love was a bitch of a mistress.
"I know how you feel," I asserted quietly.
"Oh you do, really?" he paused and I could tell he was pissed "You've been in love before?"
My heart clenched painfully, he loved her?
"There's lots of things you don't know about me"
"Huh…. who have you ever been in love with" he demanded and I wanted to tell myself that there was jealously in his tone but even though I could lie to him, I couldn't lie to myself. He was angry but also a little curious.
How dare he imply that I had never loved anyone, I loved him but he was just too blind to see it. I was angry now, stemming from the jealousy I felt towards Rosalie Hale and the knowledge that I could lose him to her.
I pointedly ignored the question as we pulled up alongside the kerb "All I'm saying Edward is that he won't stand for this, he will kill you and I won't stand there and watch it happen"
I know I was snappy and acting like a bitch but I didn't care, I was hurting and he couldn't see it, the idiot!
"Look if you're gonna bug me and make me feel bad, can you please do it later" he huffed beside me.
Angry tears pricked my eyes and I fought against them "I'm only telling it the way I see it, I'm your best friend Edward, we do everything together, if I can't tell you who can?"
"Well maybe that's the problem" he muttered, staring at the road ahead.
"Excuse me what"
"Us spending so much time together, maybe we shouldn't, if you're going to get jealous on me" he seemed almost like he was talking to himself, trying to figure things out.
"I am not jealous" I lied through my teeth, anger spurting inside me that he could toss me aside for that bitch and I decided to call his bluff, "you know maybe you're right…we'd get along much better if we didn't spend so much time together any more"
He looked shocked, pale even; his green eyes worried "What, why?"
I wanted to laugh out loud but it wasn't funny, it had been his suggestion in the first place
"Because I'm driving you crazy and you're driving me crazy and I'd rather not see you and have you think good things about me, than have you see me and hate me…cause I can't afford to have you hate me Edward"
Edward stared at me, taking in the tears that escaped as I fumbled for the door handle, he was lost for words and for a split second I felt guilty.
I felt as though I was abandoning him, but he had to do this alone.
I just couldn't stay and watch as he went after Rosalie. I tackled the door head on as he said my name, just once like a plea but I was too hurt to care and I climbed from the car, angry tears rolling down my face.
The next few days were tough, the news about Edward and Rosalie had spread like wildfire, everyone was talking about it. Today was Thursday. I hadn't seen Edward since Monday, he hadn't arrived to bring to me school and he avoided me in the hallways and class. From the occasional glimpses I caught of him he looked happy, did he not miss me at all? Did he not yearn for me? I guessed not. He was most often in the company of this big guy, Emmet, I think they called him. Built like bulldozer, he appeared menacing until he laughed and boy did he love to laugh. So Edward was making new friends huh?
He sat with Rosalie at lunch now and after the first time watching them together I came to the conclusion that she didn't have any feelings for him at all. Her body language, the way she looked at him, all told me she wasn't interested in the slightest. I knew she was only doing it to get back at Newton.
Mike was another matter; despite my earlier prediction to Edward nothing had been said. He appeared to be taking it all good-naturedly and for a while I felt relief that at least Edward would not get his beautiful face pounded.
It was in gym however that everything was to change. After an unsuccessful spike that sent the ball hurtling across the room, I went to retrieve it from the doorway. As I approached I heard male voices, talking and laughing, my heart stopped when I recognized one as Mike's.
"The party will go down as expected, Rosalie will blow in with her guy and then we nail him, then back to business as usual. It's real simple"
They were talking about Edward; they were planning on getting him at prom.
I had to tell him, to warn him but I knew after our last conversation he wouldn't believe me; he would put it down to jealousy again. Collecting the ball I attempted to focus my thoughts on what I should do. Did I call their bluff? Tell on them? Speak to Rosalie? Tell Edward? I had to. I couldn't live with myself if he got hurt.
Gym passed slowly after that and it felt like an eternity before I could leave school. I drove to his house and waited for him, sitting on the hood of my truck chewing my nails anxiously. I allowed myself as little smile as I heard rather than saw his car come hurtling up the drive, he loved to speed.
He pulled up next to my truck and climbed out of the Volvo hesitantly, looking so very unsure of himself that I wanted to throw my arms around him and hold him. To tell him it was alright. I waited for long seconds, drinking in the sight of my best friend and then he smiled at me, crookedly. I wanted to fling myself at him there and then.
"You want to come up?"
I titled my head to onside and pretended to consider it "Your parents aren't home yet?"
He shook his head and I slid from the hood of the truck to stand beside him.
I took a deep breath "So you know how I was worried about Mike-"
"Its okay Bella, I know it's a joke, the whole thing"
I jumped shocked, unprepared for him to know what I was going to tell him "After prom, Rosalie is supposed to get me over to Mike's house and they're gonna pound me….Alice heard Newton talking about it"
I could hear the pain in his voice and felt guilty for ditching him, leaving him alone to deal with this while I wallowed in jealousy.
"It's a good thing you found out about it"
"I'm not afraid of him," he told me softly as he walked into his house and we headed for his room.
I loved his room, it was so Edward. Everything in order and in its place. I flopped down on his bed and kicked off my shoes, ignoring the little clench of excitement as he lay down next to me, our shoulders touching. It had been a long time since we'd been this close and I allowed my head to rest on his shoulder as I asked him,
"You're still gonna go though with this"
It was a rhetorical question, I knew he would.
"I have to"
"You think its just Mike?"
His head lolled to one side and I looked into his dazzling eyes, so perfect…how could anyone not want him? I wanted to reach out and stroke his face.
"If he's gonna get me, he's gonna get me, he'll have plenty of chances" he paused "I'm sorry I was so tough on you"
My stomach clenched again as his voice trailed into a whisper at that last part and I tried to ignore the answering throb between my legs.
"You always hurt the ones you love" he quoted and my heartbeat went triple time as I heard him.
After taking a deep breath I forced myself to smile, knowing he didn't mean it in the way I wanted,
"So, when are you beating the shit out of Rosalie Hale"
He looked at me strangely and then laughed. It was a wonderful sound, one I had missed so badly and I watched, just happy to be at his side. For now it would do, it would have to.
It was Saturday, prom day and I had come over to Edwards to finalize arrangements. We had spent all Friday together and now Saturday too. Masochist that I am, I had volunteered to act as chauffeur to and from prom and then to Mike's house. I told myself I was just being a friend but I knew it was so I could keep tabs on what was happening.
Edward was sat at his piano playing. It always calmed him when he was nervous. I perched on top, watching his long pale fingers caressing the keys, wishing it was my body he was stroking. I sighed; I did that a lot around him. When he finally stopped I cleared my throat,
"So all the arrangements have been made"
He nodded "Yeah"
"Have you thought about what you're going to say?"
He shrugged "I don't want to think about it too much, whatever comes to mind"
I studied him for long seconds, trying to decide if I was brave enough to do what I wanted to.
"Don't think I'm being weird but what if she wants you to kiss her?"
It hurt just to say the words let alone think about it.
He smirked at me and my heart went pitter patter "Well than I guess I'm just gonna have to kiss her"
I pretended to consider what he had said "Rosalie Hale is no minor leaguer who'll be swept of her feet by your amateur lips, this babe has serious battle scores"
"Thanks but I think I can handle it" he didn't sound as sure as I thought he would and I hid a smile.
"Great but I just think that maybe you consider whether or not you can deliver the kiss that kills"
He looked up at me again, that uncertainty back "What you think that I can't?"
"If you say you can you probably can….I was just going to work on it with you but…"
I knew Edwards dating history, it was pretty much identical to mine. Nada.
"Wait, how do you work on it"
I wanted to clap my hands and shout hallelujah, I had him hooked. I wanted to laugh out loud. If Rosalie Hale was going to have Edward, then I was going to get a sample of what she was getting.
I loved him, not her and if this was to be my only chance to be close to him then I was taking with both hands and feet. I watched as he rose from the piano stool and came to stand in front of me, looking anxious.
I wanted to stroke his face, to soothe his frown, instead I parted my legs a little to let him stand between them as he had so often done before. This time it was different. I knew what I was planning on doing.
"Pretend I'm a girl"
He looked at me as though I was insane and he smiled indulgently.
"I mean pretend I'm her, Rosalie Hale, I know it's a big stretch but try it"
I battered my eyelashes at him flirtatiously and pouted a little.
"All right" he didn't sound convinced and I tried to ignore the pang of hurt.
"What do you do with your hands?" I asked him, looking into his green eyes. He gave me a wicked smile that made me feel all fluttery inside "that depends"
"No it doesn't depend, they go on her hips"
I waited a whole heartbeat and then reached out and grabbed his hands to move them to my hips. I tried to ignore the currents of electricity coursing through me at the touch of his hands over mine as I secured them on my hips. His fingers opened wide, experimentally and he looked down to where he was palming my hips. I felt my breath catch in my throat and fought to control myself, I didn't want Edward getting wise to my plan.
"Now look into my eyes," I told him, his face close to mine. I wanted to slap him when he began to chuckle, a little embarrassed.
"I don't have to do this you know," I snapped, deliberately making him think I was doing this for him.
"Just grow up a little….she'll probably do this" I said and linked my slightly shaking hands behind his head, pulling him closer to me.
"How do you know?" he seemed genuinely intrigued and I wanted to groan.
I wanted his attention on me, not where I got my information from.
"I watch a lot of TV" I muttered and felt myself begin to blush. I couldn't do this with him watching me "Close your eyes" I whispered and watched as he did. Without giving myself time to back out, I lifted my face to his and pressed my lips against his.
A million sensations assuaged me at once as I kissed him, his lips cool and soft and so sweet. Fireworks exploded behind my eyes, as he slanted his head and moved his mouth against mine, his fingers biting into the skin of hips as he pulled me closer. I was dimly aware of sliding along the edge of the piano and then coming to an abrupt stop as I bumped his hips. Need took over and I wrapped my legs around his waist where we met, wanting, needing him even closer. I couldn't breath, couldn't think all I could do was kiss him and tangle my fingers in the soft coolness of his untidy hair. Kissing Edward was everything I had always hoped it would be, my body was alive, on fire and only he could put it out. I heard him groan into my mouth and it snapped me out of my sensual haze.
I tore my mouth from his, gasping for breath and trembling from head to toe. Unwrapping my legs from around him I tumbled inelegantly to the floor and wiped my mouth with the back of my shaking hand. Edward who was also breathing unsteadily looked at me with a sheepish smile
"What's wrong? Why did you stop?"
"Lessons over, you're cool," I said backing away from him.
He stared at me as though he had never seen me before "You're blushing".
I could hear the wonder and incredulity in his voice.
I snorted "yeah right the day I blush-"
"No, no that was very nice Bella, you're, you're pretty" he told me "Don't be mad okay, will I still see you tonight?"
I nodded at him, still trying to control my errant breathing and like the coward I was, I made for the door.
I thought about that kiss for the next several hours. I couldn't believe how wonderful it was. I had kissed Edward. He had kissed me back, enthusiastically if I might add.
But at the end of the day this was still all about Rosalie Hale and I knew that in the grand scheme of things that kiss meant nothing to Edward. With very heavy heart that I prepared for the evening ahead. I took longer than usual to get ready, one last desperate part of me hoping to show Edward what he was missing.
Rosalie was the epitome of feminine beauty with her long golden hair and big blue eyes, not to mention her tiny waist and huge boobs. I was too slender, to pale, to brown, too blurgh. I curled my hair and even decided to wear the prom dress bought for me by my ever-hopeful mother. I glanced in the mirror and was surprised by what I saw, I couldn't compete with Rosalie but I looked almost pretty in my own way. I wouldn't let Edward down. I drove my truck to his and parked up, before knocking on the door.
Edwards father, Carlisle opened the door and attempted to hide his surprise at my appearance, he didn't manage very well but I appreciated the effort.
"Hi Dr Cullen, is Edward ready yet?"
"He's just finishing up, you look very nice Bella, looking forward to Prom?"
I pasted on a fake smile and tried not to cringe at the thought of the night ahead of me, as I stepped in the door.
"Hey Bella" called Edwards mom.
I smiled and waved and waited. I heard his footsteps on the stairs and looked up, to call out and tell him to get a move on. My words got stuck in my throat as I took in Edward in his suit. To me Edward was always beautiful but in a suit he looked stunning, so hot he took my breath away. The crisp white of his shirt emphasized the burnt bronze color of his hair, styled tidily for once. The dark contrast of the well cut pants and jacket emphasizing the burgeoning masculinity I knew he had been hiding all these years. I let my eye travel down his long powerful legs and let out a laugh when I saw what he wore on his feet. His favorite baseball boots. He. Was. Adorable. And I loved him, so much. My eyes prickled.
Green eyes were alight with mischief when they met mine and he raised his eyebrows. He was so serious, so in control most of the time, that when he was playful I found it devastatingly sexy.
"What no corsage?" he asked me.
I smiled at him aware this appeared as a total role reversal of prom etiquette where the guy picks up the girl.
"You don't need it….you look so handsome Edward" I told him breathily because he did and he needed to hear it. He beamed his crooked smile at me and I knew I had said the right thing.
"Bella you look great too, look you have boobs and everything" he chuckled as I fought not to blush a bright red.
He knew it was a "sore" spot for me, the fact I had such a small chest.
I stuck out my tongue and crossed my arms defensively over said chest.
His parents watched us and I could see they were amused, as used as they were to our relationship.
"You kids have fun now" Carlisle told us as we left.
I drove to Rosalie's house, with Edward sitting in the back, neither of us said much, too lost in our thoughts. She was waiting as we arrived and poor Edward didn't even get to go to the door before she was heading down her drive to us. Dressed in a clingy red satin sheath, I suddenly felt very plain in my blue halter dress. She looked amazing and she knew it. Edward stared slightly, mouth agape and she smiled at him, before looking shocked as she spotted me.
"Do you always bring an extra girl when you go out?" she enquired lazily.
He smirked "I like to cover my bets"
She giggled and he smiled again, wider this time. I wanted to groan. This was torture, why had I agreed to this? Oh yeah because I loved him and wanted him to be happy. I held open the door and together they climbed in, giggling like kids. He was so happy, so carefree and I felt as though I wanted to cry. It had been a mistake to agree to this, a stupid, stupid mistake, which was going to cost me dear.
We arrived at school and I parked the car. I didn't want to go in and watch them flirting and dancing. I just couldn't do it. I found myself a spot outside in which to watch the comings and goings, observing the mating rituals of Forks high student body.
Occasionally I would catch a glimpse of Edward and Rosalie, as they danced together, hands linked bodies swaying. I couldn't dance, figures she could.
My heart felt as though it was breaking, crumbling into a thousand little pieces when I watched them as they strolled outside, not seeing me. The night was growing darker and the moon was just visible in the sky when they stopped and sat on a bench.
Edward put his arm around her and began to trace little patterns on the skin of her arm. I couldn't hear what they were saying but it looked a little intense, Rosalie seemed upset and Edward was trying his best to comfort her. I watched in abject horror as he put a finger under her chin and tilted her face up to his before lowering his head, kissing her.
I wanted to vomit as I thought about the fact that only hours ago he had been kissing me like that. Their kiss went on and on as my pain went on and on. I wanted to cry but I couldn't, I still had to face them after prom.
After what felt like an eternity but was in reality only a minute or so, he pulled back and touched her face gently. She smiled up at him and placed one of her hands against his cheek. He said something to her and then there was regret on her face. She shook her head.
I wanted to kill her, first she kissed him and then she regretted it, how could she hurt him that way?
I watched aching as he got to his feet and offered her his arm, she smiled at him and accepted, rising gracefully to stand beside him. This was the worst kind of torture I had ever to endure.
I was almost certain that they were now a couple, only the regret I'd seen on Rosalie's face made me think twice.
I was ready and waiting as they left prom, laughing and breathless. Edward climbed into the car and I hurriedly shut the door of after him. Rosalie looked at me puzzled,
"Break his heart and I break your face" I told her before opening the door.
She got in as I slid into the drivers seat
I knew the answer but I still hoped it wasn't too late for him to change his mind.
"Did you forget he wants to beat the crap out of you?" I reminded him as we pulled out of the lot.
"I can handle it" he assured me calmly.
"I could beat the crap out of you, you wouldn't last six seconds"
"Bella, it will be alright…I know what I am doing"
I prayed he did.
The party was in full swing as I pulled onto the Newton drive. He climbed from the car, offered Rosalie his hand, pulling her to his side. Then he turned and looked at me.
"Aren't you coming in?"
I shook my head fighting the tears I knew were coming "I think I'll sit this one out but I'll be here when it's over"
He nodded at me for long seconds, our eyes meeting and understanding "Thank you"
I smiled, hoping it didn't look as tremulous as it felt.
I couldn't stand to watch some guys beat him to a pulp but at the same time, I wanted to know what was happening. Creeping forward I took a spot by the window and watched with my heart in my mouth. Mike had spotted them and three guys now had hold of Edward. He struggled against them slightly, but he wasn't afraid, he was defiant.
"Boo" came a deep booming laugh in my ear.
I spun on the spot, almost having a heart attack and found Emmet watching me, laughing. He was surrounded by six guys almost as big as he was.
"We're here with Eddie"
I giggled. Eddie? Oh he would just love that. He nodded at me and then disappeared inside. What happened next I can only guess at but Mike's face at seeing Emmet and his buddies was a picture. Suddenly Edward was released and everybody was backing away, except Rosalie. With a strength I didn't know she possessed she drew back and slapped Mike, twice, hard.
Whatever he had said to her had really pissed her off. Edward looked comically smug and pulled her to his side, planting a kiss on her forehead. She beamed back up at him and then reached for his hand. That was enough for me and I moved away from the window back to the relative safety of the Volvo.
Resting against the hood I didn't have long to wait until they appeared hand in hand at the top of the drive. They were jubilant, smiling and talking excitedly. My eyes met Edwards and I smiled at them both, determined he wouldn't see how much this killing me.
"Nice work in there" I said to Rosalie who smiled, looking from me to Edward and then back again, our eyes still fixed on each other.
"Edward, I think I'm going to call it a night" I said, handing him the keys, trying not to flinch as his fingers brushed mine. There were those sparks again.
"You want a ride home?"
I shook my head "It's a nice night, I'll give you kids some privacy"
I tried to joke but it felt flat to me.
"Thanks Bella, for everything" he said softly and smiled my favorite crooked smile.
Turning so he wouldn't see the tears in my eyes I began to walk, never looking back.
I was about half way home when the heavens opened and Forks did was it was famous for, rain. Dressed in a now slightly shriveled blue dress, I stumbled along, unable to see through my tears. Edward had Rosalie now. I wondered where they were, what they were doing.
I prayed it wasn't what I thought but being seventeen and alone in car could play havoc with your hormones, especially around Edward.
My heart ached so bad that I wanted to cut it out, to take away the pain of loving someone who didn't love me back.
My parents were both still out as I let myself in. All I wanted now was a hot shower and then to cry myself to sleep, to get used to my life without having Edward in it.
I grabbed what I wore for bed and flinging my dress into heap stepped into the bathroom. How long I stood under the spray crying I don't know but when I finally stepped out, I was exhausted and shaking. I dressed quickly and wrapped my hair in a towel, before pushing open my bedroom door.
I let out a scream; so loud I'm surprised my parents didn't hear it wherever they were. I squinted in the half-light. There, laid out on my bed looking for all the world as though he belonged there, was Edward.
"Hey Bella" he greeted me quietly, his rough velvet voice sending shivers through me.
" How did you get in here…Where's Rosalie" I fired at him, drying my hair.
He flashed his crooked grin " The window and under the bed"
"Ha ha…. what are you doing here Edward?"
He looked at me for long seconds before answering and then began to grin
"Bella are you wearing boxer shorts….are those my boxers?"
I flushed red to the roots of my hair and looked down at myself. I was wearing a white wife beater and a pair of Edwards's plaid boxers I had pilfered from his draw over a year ago.
I cringed at how guilty I sounded and tried not to stare at him as he lounged on my bed. He had removed his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt slightly, the skinny black tie he wore now crooked, like his smile. His sleeves were rolled up and his arms folded behind his head. He was so beautiful that I almost couldn't look away, he was dazzling, mesmerizing.
"It's just I've never seen a girl wearing guys underpants before…it's" he paused and seemed to be searching for the right word "sexy".
My heart gave an odd little flip-flop, did he just say sexy?
"Come and sit by me," he asked, moving on as though he hadn't just said my nightwear was sexy.
Maybe I had imagined it.
He moved over on my bed and I lay down next to him, feeling exposed in my undressed state. Determined to act normal and as though Edward saw me half dressed all the time I mirrored his position and put my own arms behind my head.
"Was it worth it?" I asked quietly, picking at invisible threads on my quilt.
I felt a pang of disappointment "So why aren't you with her now then?"
I knew I sounded childish but I couldn't help it, this was too much, he had come to rehash the details of his date with me, like I was a guy or something.
But I wasn't. I was a girl. A girl with feelings. A girl who loved him.
"I told Rosalie I just want to be friends"
I sounded so dumb and went silent for so long that he shifted on the bed and turned onto his side facing me, balancing all his weight on his elbow. His free hand reached out to stroke my damp hair away from my face.
I held my breath, wondering what was going on but too wrapped up in the sensation of him touching me to care. Our eyes met and held, Edward seemed to be trying to work something out.
"Don't move, I want to try something" his voice was deep and smooth and deadly serious.
I couldn't have moved if my life depended on it. My eyes widened as he slowly lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me. His lips captured my own and I let my eyes drift shut, as wave after wave of sensation swept over me. Edward was kissing me! His lips were firm and cool against mine, his breath so sweet I wanted to consume him, as he kissed me the way I had always dreamed. Carefully he moved closer, lowering himself over me, taking his weight on his elbows that now rested either side of my head.
I sighed as I felt the press of his hard body against mine, the sweep of his tongue across my bottom lip, teasing me demanding entrance into my mouth. It was getting hard to breath but I didn't care, I couldn't care when all I wanted to do was feel him against me. My hands moved to tangle in his hair and hold him closer to me, as I opened my mouth to let him inside.
At the first touch of his tongue, I felt a jolt of desire run through my veins like liquid fire. This was now about more than just loving Edward. I wanted him, I needed him like a drowning man needs oxygen. His hands stroked across my collarbone and down to my breasts that quivered with each panting breath I took.
I could feel them shaking and I knew he wanted this as badly as I did. He hesitated, seeming unsure and I arched myself into him desperate for his touch. He pulled his mouth from mine and my eyes flew open, terrified he was going to tell me sorry or that it had been a mistake.
"Bella" he said staring at me again as though he had never seen me before.
I forced a trembling smile and tried to tell him with my eyes how much I wanted this, how much I wanted him. We looked at each other for a long time and then he was placing hot wet biting kisses against the skin of my neck, tracing my pulse point with his tongue as my hands scrambled to touch him.
I buried them under the material of his shirt and began to tug franticly at the buttons, slipping it off his shoulders, leaving his chest bare to my perusal. He was breathtaking, magnificent. The taut muscles of his chest rippled as I ran my hands over them. He groaned against my skin and I felt the tell tale pooling of liquid heat between my thighs. I shifted, squirmed trying to get close to him.
His hands stripped away my shirt, stroking my breasts, palming them, cupping them, his long fingers teasing my nipples, sending shock waves through me. I sighed, reaching for him, pressing desperate kisses against the hot skin of his shoulder, biting into the resilient flesh there, my breath coming in odd little pants. I slid my hand between our bodies my fingers toying the waistband of his pants.
I felt him freeze and heard him suck in a breath as I skimmed my hands over the hardness there. I touched him again through the material, loving the sounds he made and with hands that shook I slowly slid down the zipper. Praying I wouldn't hurt him, I shoved them down his hips and moved my hands back to his erection. He was hot and strong and so big, like steel wrapped in velvet. A touch of satin in my hand.
Slowly I stroked him, pumping his shaft up and down, his deep groans encouraging me. I loved that I could do this to him, it turned me on and I pressed myself against him.
"Bella stop" he begged me "You're driving me crazy, I want to touch you"
I wanted that too, needed that. He slid his hands across my body, catching on the waistband of his boxers, his arms flexed and in seconds I was bare to him.
His forehead rested against mine, as he looked deep into my eyes, one hand reaching down to stroke the folds between my legs. I squirmed against his fingers as he teased me, parting my lips, dipping a finger inside me. I gasped at the sensation as his thumb grazed my clit, rubbing in little circles, getting me wetter, making me hotter. I reached for him blindly and began to pump him, wanting him to feel what I was feeling.
Our mouths met as our fingers played, our tongues fighting a duel, our eyes still locked on each other. His mouth left mine and he trailed kisses down my body, his tongue snaking out to tease my nipple, pinching it slightly with his teeth. I jerked violently against him as his kisses continued, across the quivering skin of my stomach, down over my hips. Tension flooded my body as I felt him reach the skin of my inner thigh and then he was still.
I waited, anxious and felt the heat of his breath against my molten core.
"Edward!" I gasped in protest and he laughed softly, his breath tickling me.
I groaned and squirmed under his gaze, looking down at him. His eyes met mine and he grinned wickedly, he knew exactly what he was doing, torturing me, making me wait.
I flinched at the first stroke of his tongue against my heated flesh, overwhelmed with the feelings it provoked. My breathing became ragged as he lapped at my slick wet folds with his tongue, probing me, tasting me.
I moved against him, my hips bucking of their own accord, mindlessly begging, pleas falling from my lips.
The heat inside me spiraled out of control and all my muscles clenched.
I felt like I was suddenly falling, and I called out his name, falling forever, ecstasy overwhelming me.
As I came back into myself I was aware Edward was watching me, his eyes dark and intent but his expression so tender I wanted to weep. He slid a hand up each of my thighs and parted my legs gently, silently asking if this was okay.
I nodded and then he was there, pushing into me, filling me up, slowly, surely, becoming part of me. The breath I had held released in a whoosh of pain as he broke through the barrier of my innocence and he kissed me, muttering apologies against my lips.
He braced himself over me, staying so still I thought he was the one in pain, he looked tortured. After a second or two I flexed my hips experimentally, turning them up to his. He groaned harshly and bit his lip.
I marveled at his self-control if he felt even as half as turned on as I did.
His eyes were fixed on mine and I smiled up at him as I did it again. I got same groaned response but he must have got the message because he began to move, slowly at first and then with more speed.
I heard a moan and realized it was me, as he positioned in and out of me, his hips pumping faster and faster. The tightness was there inside me again and I wrapped my legs around him as he thrust into me, the force making the bed shake.
"Oh God Bella" he groaned into my mouth as he began to pound into me, the friction of our bodies making me cry out.
I raked my nails across his back and down his spine, resting my hands on his backside, urging him deeper within me. I knew he was close, as I was, his frantic pants matching my own, signaling our impending releases.
"Edward oh Edward" I cried, as he rode me. I felt my entire body stiffen and fireworks explode behind my eyes, as I came with him deep inside me.
"I love you, I love you, I love you" I chanted over and over, tasting the scalding heat of my own tears.
I was dimly aware of Edward surging into me one last time before he too stiffened, his head thrown back, a throaty growl of release ripping from his chest. And then he was still, collapsing on top of me, our sweating exhausted bodies still clinging together.
I knew I should object to his weight on me but it felt too good. He pulled back slightly and looked at me, his expression apologetic, gentle, wary.
"I'm sorry" he said softly and I felt a moments dread. Oh God. He regretted it. The single most wonderful thing that had ever happened to me and he regretted it. "I didn't know"
I relaxed as I realized what he meant, that I loved him and always had, "Yeah well you're stupid"
His grin was crooked and set my heart a flame "That maybe but I love you anyway…I Love You Bella… my Bella"
I felt the tears escape from my eyes and he kissed them away one by one.
"You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that" I confessed shakily, looking up into his beautiful, adorable face.
I blushed, silly after all we had just shared "About seventeen years"
He looked surprised and humbled "That long?"
"That long" I confirmed in a hushed tone.
"So what now?"
He had to ask?
"Now we get some sleep-"
"And in the morning?"
I could see he was unsure and I smiled wickedly
"We start all over again"
He snickered, flashing a naughty grin of his own "Why wait" he said huskily reaching for me.