Now purple was not normally an intimidating color. But in the boardroom in the lair of the Monarch, it was the color of death. 21 and 24 opened the purple door and peered into the purple room and sat down in the purple seats and waited for the shadowy figure of the Monarch to deliberate their fate.
21 was certain that the last thing he'd ever see on this earth was fucking purple.
Finally, the Monarch stood up, and stepped out of the shadows. He spent a great deal of time just looming over them and looking menacing. But then finally, he said...
"You both know why you're here, correct?"
"Yes sir..." 24 responded weakly, not even looking at him. This was worse than the time his mom (God rest her soul) had caught him masturbating when he was fourteen. And that had been excruciating!
But this was far worse. This time, he truly did want to die. He wanted to just burst into flames and die.
Then 21 (ever the brazen) grabbed his hand and worked 24's nerves up even more. But at the same time, it was a sweet gesture and he no longer wished death upon himself.
"Look guys, I don't have a heart of fucking stone over here. You're not in trouble, so the both of you can unclench your ass cheeks and settle the fuck down, okay?"
24 did relax a little bit...but he still had 21's hand in a death grip. 21 didn't seem to mind much.
"I just want to know what the fuck is going on and lay down a few rules...so I never have to see you jiggling, white asses ever again! GOD!" The Monarch pinched the bridge of his nose, while 21 cleared his throat to speak. 24 immediately looked up from his lap and stared at 21.
"Well boss, it's exactly what it looks like – your two best men like men...and love each other." 21 glanced to his right and was delighted to find 24 had turned pink. "And, sometimes, we have sex."
"Hm. How sweet." Monarch spat as he walked in a small circle around them. "So you guys are pretty serious, eh? Are those scarring images going to be a regular occurrence?"
"They could stand to be a little more regular..." 24 mumbled, starting to feel a bit more comfortable...until 21 smacked him at any rate. "Ow!"
"I heard that!" 21 turned his attention once again towards the furrowed, well groomed eyebrows of the Monarch. "Our sex life is fine, boss."
"Oh goody!" Monarch clapped his hands together in mock enthusiasm. "Really 21, you have no idea how relieved I am to know that two gay men are having a healthy diet of anal sex in my flying cocoon! No really, thank you! I mean it."
"...For the record, I'm bi-"
"Oh you are not! That's a lie!"
"How would you know?!"
"Name three parts of the vagina. Go!"
"The uterus...the...um...the mucus membrane..."
"You are so gay!"
"That doesn't prove anything!"
"ARE YOU TWO QUITE FUCKING FINISHED?!"
Apparently they were. Now that their boss had returned to his scary self...
"Okay here's what's going to happen; I'm going to disable the surveillance cameras in both of your rooms. You heard your leader! Now you have two designated havens to get all cozy and comfy. But on two conditions. One, I NEVER catch you two butt-brothers doing the mattress mambo EVER again! Two, you don't tell my wife, or anybody else about this. The last thing I fucking need is to be accused of playing favorites..."
The henchmen were rendered speechless. Which was a true accomplishment on the Monarch's part.
However, all good things must come to an end, the Mighty Monarch supposed....
"Wow...thank you Sir!"
"Yeah, you have no idea how much this means to us!"
"We thought you were gonna bust our balls over this-"
"Thank you for not busting our balls, we like our balls you know-"
"Alright enough! As much as I like to listen to you two grovel at my feet, you should be doing your god damn jobs! Or enjoying your new found privacy for the two and a half minutes it takes 'Studly Do Right' over here." 24 paled visibly. 21 was torn between tending to his boyfriend's wounded ego and considering calling him 'Studly Do Right' from now on. Hey; it's an awesome nick-name.
The Mighty Monarch watched his two best men leave the board room hand in hand. He couldn't help but notice that as they reached the door frame, 21 stopped and whispered something into the other man's ear. Then they both trotted off down the narrow hallway. Towards one of their rooms, no doubt. The Monarch slumped down his his thrown at the head of the long table and plopped down in it. He stared at the ceiling and played absently with his left eyebrow, contemplating what to do next until it occurred to him...
Fuck. Now he owed his wife a pair of Benjamens.