Sasuke's reason not to leave

"Don't leave!" Sakura screamed at the top of her voice. Yeah, because hysterical shouting is just what people need in the middle of the night. "Please, Sasuke, stay here with me." She was so desperate to stop him that she would have tied him up to a tree, but she knew he would probably just turn into a goddamn log, or something, if she tried it.

Bla, bla, bla, she continued the sentimental crap. Sasuke didn't seem to be interested in any of this, so he just kept walking, hoping to get rid of that whining thing that followed him so persistently. Bad timing was something he really hated. Not that he was in such a big hurry to get to a totally perverted Orochimaru, but Konoha was already making him sick.

"Sasuke, do you remember when... ( bla, bla, bla, this is really boring, you don't need to read it ) Stay here with me. I'll do ANYTHING to make you stay!"

Anything. It's an interesting word. And usually it leads to trouble. But it certainly works. If Kakashi had begged him like this, instead of giving him a stupid lecture, Sasuke might have been persuaded. Sakura wasn't as hot as Kakashi, everyone knew that, yet Sasuke thought he could make some use of her.

He stopped and turned around very slowly, then he gave Sakura an estimating look. So she would do anything. He was tempted to tell her "go kill yourself then", but tried to think of something better.

When you spend most of your time in training, you certainly have very little time for other things. And when you finally try to steal some time for said other things and you sneak into the bushes near the training grounds, damn Kakashi pops out of nowhere just in time to tell you "Get your hand out of your pants and go back to training." And he has the audacity to tell you this while he's holding a porn book with his sticky fingers. Not to mention the fact that he must have spotted you so easily in the bushes because he happened to be there for the same purpose as you. As it was mentioned before, Sasuke really hated bad timing.

So, when a person in these circumstances is presented with the chance to come across a girl who says she would do anything, that person might start getting all kinds of funny ideas.

"Hn. Anything, huh?

"Well… yes."

"Do you know what kind of stuff happen in Kakashi sensei's books?"

Sakura nodded and blushed, confused how such a question came out of nowhere all of a sudden. Sasuke seemed relieved. He really didn't want to go into unnecessary details.

"Fine. Then take off your panties."

"Huh? What could you possibly need my underwear for? It won't fit you, it's not your colour, and…"

"Just take it off and bend over the goddamn bench!"


"Jeez! You know the pictures in those books, right? I've seen you peep over Kakashi's shoulder while he's reading."

"Oh, you mean that." Sakura couldn't believe her luck. Was he for serious?

"Yeah, that. And you'll do anything else I say. Then I might stay. Now take off your panties."

Sakura was squealing with overexcitement, surprised at his impatience. How had he managed to move so quickly from "you're annoying" to "take off your panties" she just couldn't figure out.

Sasuke smirked. "Oh, and Sakura, one more thing. If Naruto wants to do that with you, you'll let him.

"Eh? No!" Sakura was terrified. Sasuke stared at her with fake surprise. "You said 'anything', Sakura, do you want me to leave?"

She stared back at him, her face flaming red. "No! Don't leave! Oh, damn it! I'll do it."

Now that was really amusing. Sasuke smirked again. "And if I tell you to do it with someone else, no matter who, you'll do it!" he said with demanding voice. There was silence for a long time.

"Oh god, I can't believe I'm agreeing to this." Sakura sighed, cursing her obsession with him.

"Even if that someone is Lee?" Sasuke tried not to laugh.

"Damn you, Sasuke, why even Lee? Eww." Sakura lost control.

Sasuke's attempt not to laugh failed. "Because it's gonna be really disgusting and I want to see it. If you want me to stay, you'll be my slave."

"Oh... all right." Sakura hadn't expected that, but whatever.

On the next morning Izumo and Kotetsu were on their way to Tsunade's office when they found Sakura sprawled on the bench. They started shaking her. When she opened her eyes, they tried to make her tell them what happened, but she was so out of it she couldn't speak properly.

"Maybe she has a hangover," Kotetsu said. Izumo just shrugged.

"Sasuke... Sasuke..." Sakura muttered.

"What happened to Sasuke? Tsunade-sama was worried he might try to escape from Konoha."

"No, he's still here, the bastard, he just fucked the crap out of me!" Sakura whined miserably and passed out again. That's what happens when you promise "anything" to someone who hasn't had proper wanking for weeks.

"Well, that's not our business," Izumo said. "So... Let's tell everyone about it and watch how Ino and the rest will lynch Sakura."

On the next day there was a party at Sasuke's place with Naruto, Neji, Gaara, Rock Lee, Shikamaru and Kiba.

"Well, guys," Sasuke smirked like he owned the world, "First Sakura will make striptease and then all of you can fuck her."

"I'm not interested in striptease," Neji said. "With my byakugan I've seen everyone in Konoha naked, even you guys."

Their jaws dropped and they gave him horrified glares.

"Oh yeah, that's right," Neji went on, "And I know that you, Sasuke, wear pink underwear, and to be precise, right now it's Sakura's panties. And you, Shikamaru, have no underwear at all, I guess you're too lazy to put it on, and you, Lee, have a really small dick, and you, Naruto, have a tattoo "Sasuke forever" on your butt, and Kakashi sensei is really hot under the mask, Tsunade never wears a bra, and Choji..."

"That's enough! I don't wanna hear any more of this shit!" Sasuke yelled.

'Thank god he didn't say anything about Gai sensei,' Lee thought, 'I'm sure there are a lot of odd things to be seen about him... Tenten said that once she accidentally saw... well, never mind.'

Then Sakura did the striptease, which was not as amusing as they expected, and after that everyone had their turn fucking her, which turned out to be much more amusing than what they expected. The fun went for hours... and hours... and hours...

..."She's sucking Naruto and Gaara is fucking her," Sasuke said, "so there's one more free hole there, Kiba, you can join them."...

..."Hehehe, Shikamaru, I can see your cock inside her," Neji laughed, staring at them with his byakugan. "When he takes his cock out of you, Sakura, I'll give you the 64 strikes with mine"...

..."2 strikes"..."4 strikes"..."8 strikes"..."16 strikes"..."aaaaaaaa, Nejiiiiiiiiiiii"...

..."32 strikes"..."64 strikes"..."Yeah, Hyuga style, baby."...

..."Damn you, Naruto, no one wants to wait until all of your clones take their turn"...

..."Don't be so selfish, Sasuke, get off of her, it's my turn, I'll show Sakura my awesome sex taijutsu," Lee muttered. "Shut the fuck up, Lee, you're drunk, it's not your turn now."...

..."Damn you, guys, I'm not drunk. I don't wanna wait for my turn any longer. Aw, who's the pretty girl with the long brown hair and white eyes? Come here, baby, I'll show you the power of youth"... "Fuck off, Lee, you drunk idiot. I'm Neji, can't you see? Damn it, get your hands away from my butt."

Lee sneaked behind Neji's back, using the blind spot of his byakugan, and then... "Ouch! Damn you Lee... ouch, my butt... oh noooo, somebody help me, pleeease..."

'Thank god his dick is so small,' Neji thought.

Sasuke: You, writer, this wasn't supposed to be a yaoi story, right? Lee and Neji? Are you insane?

Writer: Well... um... I changed my mind. And it was you who wanted to watch disgusting stuff with Lee.

Sasuke: Well, at least don't make me get raped by Itachi again. It happens all the time in other people's stories. Man, it's so cliché!

Writer: Eh... I really love these stories and in most of them you actually enjoy it.

Sasuke: Just don't make it happen in this one, please. I'll do anything!

Writer: Anything, huh?

Well, hm, now back to the story.

All of them were having a good time, especially Lee.

"Hahaha, Lee and Neji, that was awesome," Naruto laughed. "It must be fate, Neji." He just couldn't stop laughing. "Oh, Sasuke, you're back. You look exhausted, where the hell have you been?"

"Dude, don't ask."

When all of them finally got tired and Sakura was lying in a puddle of cum on the floor, they started leaving one by one. 'Well, she's not so useless after all,' Sasuke thought.

"Hey, Sasuke," Naruto said, standing at the door. "Can I borrow her for a while and give her to Jiraiya in exchange for teaching me some new jutsu?"

"Yeah, but not this week. I already promised to give her to Kakashi sensei, and Iruka is also waiting, not to mention Ebisu. Oh damn it, I'll have to make a list."

Everyone was gone and Sasuke was alone when he heard a strange noise. He looked around and saw that Itachi was at the window, watching him.

"Itachi, how long have you been there?"

"All the time. I saw everything." Itachi smirked. "And that's the best you can do, Sasuke? Foolish little brother, you lack imagination."

"Damn you, Itachi, if you want to see imagination, go get the bitch who's writing this."

"Er... later. Now I'm here to rape you, Sasuke." Itachi's smirk got even creepier.

"No way!" Sasuke yelled, "That's not gonna happen!"

"But, Sasuke..."



Writer: Sorry, Itachi, not this time.

Itachi: But I... *tears of disappointment roll down his cheeks*

Writer: I said no!

Itachi: Pwease! *puppy eyes*

Writer: No way.

Itachi: But ...

Writer: NO!

Itachi: Aw crap.

The end

*sniff*... but... I really wanted...

Damn you, Itachi, I said THE END!

Kishimoto owns the characters... er... that's all, bye! *writer runs away before the fangirls lynch her*