Fandom: House, md
Disclaimer: Please don't sue. I don't own *insert fandom name from above*... All I own is an overactive imagination.
Summary: House, Wilson, and a blind date with a guy named Vic.
Warning(s): slash
Pairing(s): House/Wilson
Word Count: 4,041

A/N: Day 16 of "22 new fandoms in 22 days." Calendar link up in my profile.
Story note: Probably out of character… I need to watch more episodes before I even get close to writing them IC. No time though, but I tried.


By: Lucifer Rosemaunt


Wilson wasn't sure if it was just his imagination but he was almost certain that House and Cuddy were getting closer, their arguments becoming more flirtatious. It made him… uneasy. Sure, he'd supported it in the beginning, but he couldn't help it if he was worried for them, worried that if things went wrong, then the fallout would be horrible. So the feeling of his stomach dropping every time he saw them together was only natural. And if it worked out, knowing House, he'd probably have to start worrying that one day, he'd walk in on them doing… and that was something he did not need to think about right now.

His worries seemed unfounded though since House was in better moods nowadays, stealing his food, and visiting his office under the pretense of 'hiding' from Cuddy. Wilson scoffed at that, but it was so House, he let it go. In fact, Wilson noted that as the flirting and breast comments increased, so too did House's presence during the rest of the day in the hospital, as though House sought her as much as he ran from her. Knowing Cuddy, she was probably happy to oblige in the chase.

It was odd though because even though Wilson saw House more often than not, he was beginning to speak to him less, spend less time with him. He'd been going home to his own apartment nowadays, deciding to give House more space just in case he wanted to spend time with Cuddy. He'd rather not interfere with whatever plans they were probably making, even though time and again, he found himself driving towards House's place without even thinking about it.

Unfortunately, that meant he was that much more alone. He needed to relieve some of the tension he felt, and while the obvious answer seemed to be to start dating again, he was a little more than reluctant even if he did want to be in a relationship. What had House called him? An emotional vampire. Maybe. Wilson just wanted some of that intimacy and trust that was in a relationship. He wouldn't mind waking up in the morning with someone there or sharing dinner and secrets with someone.

That was why he was sitting in this restaurant willing to do something he absolutely swore to himself he'd never do, a blind date. Cameron had sought him out to tell him that maybe it was time to move on. His initial reaction had been to turn her down, considering it had been rather out of the blue. It'd sort of been like a drive-by matchmaking, but she said that she knew someone that would be perfect for him. At that moment, House was leaving Cuddy's office with a grin and a lewd comment, and Wilson found himself agreeing against his better judgment.

If it had been a little gratifying to tell House that he was busy the following evening and couldn't come over, then he figured it was because he was simply excited about the date.

The restaurant that had been chosen was rather casual, but he was still nervous. Fifteen minutes after he'd been seated, his date arrived.


House barged into Wilson's office the next day a little before lunch, making sure to slam the door shut. "What the hell?"

Wilson looked up from his paperwork, unperturbed as he said, "Shouldn't that be my line?"

They stared at each other for a few moments before House couldn't stand it anymore. Wilson really looked like he had no idea what he was talking about. So, House offered, "Victor? Really. What kind of name is Victor anyway?"

Wilson's brows furrowed. "What are you talking about?"

"Your." House punctuated each word, "Blind. Date."

"How do you know about that?" Wilson said suspiciously. When House looked away with a shrug, he stood up slowly. "What did you do?" He gasped. "That wasn't Cameron's friend?"

Mocking him, House repeated in a high voice, "That wasn't Cameron's friend?" Scoffing, he said, "Why would she set you up with a guy?"

"I don't know. It was awkward, but I didn't want to be rude. He was Cameron's friend. Or at least, I thought he was." Wilson rubbed the back of his neck, a light blush coloring his cheeks. He refused to meet House's eyes. "Vic's a nice guy."

"Vic? You call him Vic?" House responded incredulously. Throwing up his hands, he knew he was probably blowing this all out of proportion, but he figured he had a right to. His best friend was suddenly gay. "Has the world gone insane? Do three wives mean nothing to you?"

"It means enough." Wilson added defensively, "Who says I can't be bi?"

"The fact you've never been attracted to a man before?" House thought it was obvious.

"Who says?" Wilson immediately replied, his hands on his hips.

House scoffed before doing a double take. He calmed, realizing that maybe Wilson was just messing with him. He pretended to be interested. "Was he your type? What did you even talk about?"

"I actually did most of the talking. I don't know much about him," Wilson shrugged, looking uncomfortable talking about it. "So, you really did send some stranger."

"What? No." House shrugged. "I just heard."

Wilson rolled his eyes. "Where'd you find this guy? At a bar?"

Pursing his lips together, House replied facetiously, "AA meeting."

"Get out, House." Wilson replied, unamused.


Wilson gave a long suffering sigh, and pointed to the door. House left, mostly because Wilson's look told him he was not going to get any more answers out of him, that and he knew he needed time to rethink his original plan.

Wilson watched him leave. Waiting a few minutes, he pulled out his cell phone and called up House's motorcycle mechanic's assistant.

"Hey, Vic?" He dropped down into his chair, keeping an eye out on the balcony just in case House tried to spy on him. "It's James Wilson from yesterday."

"Oh, hey." Victor actually sounded pleased to hear from him.

Wilson asked uncertainly, "Do you really not mind having dinner again tonight?"

"Not at all," Victor laughed, "My treat this time because you really didn't have to pay last time. It'll give me a chance to get House back for hitting me with his cane."

"Yeah," Wilson felt bad about that. He'd been on the phone with Victor a few minutes before House came in. He hadn't known whether Victor would actually agree to the plan he'd suggested until then. It was a good thing House managed to piss him off. Otherwise, Wilson would've simply just yelled at his supposed best friend for setting him up with a guy. "Can you do me a favour though?" Wilson smirked, just thinking about House's expression. "Pick me up on your motorcycle."

There was a pause before Victor replied, "I thought you hated motorcycles."

"I do, but just show up loudly and call me James."


Without a new case, House spent his time watching soap operas and listening to music. All in all, it had been a good day, except for the fact that he couldn't focus very well. His mind kept drifting back to Wilson and Victor. It just didn't sound right.

Yesterday, he'd managed to figure out Cameron's role as matchmaker easily enough from his informants. Chasing the girl away hadn't been difficult either. Finding a suitable date had taken a few minutes, running through the list of possible candidates, but he thought he'd made the right choice. The switch seemed like the perfect way to teach Wilson not to blow off a good night of television and beer for the sake of a blind date. Moreover, House thought it had been the perfect opportunity to get Wilson to his place again since it had been a while since the other doctor had bothered to visit.

It had seemed rather foolproof. House had wanted to be there to see what happened at the restaurant, but he'd actually been at home, waiting for Wilson to show up at his doorstep not long after the date started, angry with him but easily coaxed into drinking a beer and watching television. Wilson hadn't showed up though, and House had been tempted to go to that stupid restaurant but thought better of it. He figured they probably wouldn't be there and Wilson simply hadn't caught onto his involvement.

However, when he showed up that morning at his mechanic's to find that the grease monkey who was more Cameron's age than theirs, the boy had had the gall to say that the money wasn't necessary and that they spent the entire dinner together. House hit him with the cane for that one because he'd had told him there was no reason to stay. Then, with a smile that made the cane move of its own volition to hit him a second time, Victor had continued to say that they'd had a really good time. And apparently, Wilson paid for their dinner. House scowled. The only one Wilson should be paying dinners for were him and his always soon to be ex-wives.

He'd grilled the man, certain that Victor would reveal he'd been lying about what had occurred at dinner. However, he seemed sincere. Then again, everyone lied, but as he recounted their date, House could almost believe him.

The oncologist had been surprised at first, stuttering a bit. Victor had done exactly as House had told him and said he'd been sent by Cameron. Wilson apparently blushed even more and almost knocked over his water, but invited him to sit down regardless. Then, they spent the rest of the night talking about what Wilson did for a living.

They'd had a good time and were going to do it again.

House had forbidden it, punctuating his decision with a strike to Victor's shin that almost missed when he tried to dodge it. Victor only winced and moved away from him. When he was far enough, he added smugly, "It's Wilson's choice, not yours. Thanks for the hookup though."

House had spent the drive to the hospital so annoyed that the first thing he'd done was yell at Wilson. That hadn't turned out very well. He knew he should have thought over what was happening, but for some reason, he couldn't think straight. The mere idea that Wilson even considered dating Victor made him want to hurt someone.

Shaking his head from those thoughts, House was pleased to see that he'd wasted enough time to go home. He left his office, heading towards Wilson's only to find it empty. It was near the entrance of the building when he saw Wilson speaking with Cameron.

Seeing him, Wilson only bid Cameron goodbye before going outside to wait by the curb.

House sidled up beside him and looked around. "Nice weather," he said, watching Wilson's reaction, waiting to see if there was a hint of deception in what was going on.


House noted Wilson's coat was on. "You look like you're done for the night. Where's the briefcase?"

"Left it in the office," Wilson tilted his head to point in the general direction of the hospital. He was beginning to have doubts in his plan, but he was still a little angry with House to care that much. "I'm not bringing work with me home tonight."

"You're not bringing your car either?" House quipped.

Wilson only smirked. "I'm getting picked up."

As though on cue, a motorcycle came roaring up the driveway, stopping right in front of them. Flipping up the visor to his helmet, Victor smiled at Wilson before seeing House. Victor found himself smiling harder. Offering the extra helmet to Wilson, Victor was forced to say "James" to get his attention since Wilson was watching House's expression.

Hiding his amusement, Wilson looked at the bike before taking the helmet. He hoped that neither of them could be able to tell that his hands were shaking. "Thanks, Vic."

"James?" House repeated in confusion as he watched Wilson take the helmet from him before awkwardly putting it on. "You hate motorcycles," House said, mouth agape as he watched Wilson willingly straddle the motorcycle, holding tightly onto the younger man. House's breath caught in his throat, and he couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy at the sight. He was tempted to smack them off the bike as he saw Victor smirk at him before lowering his visor and they sped off.

House could only watch them leave. Of all the things he'd seen in his lifetime, and he'd seen a lot, he never expected that.

"Was that Wilson?" Cameron asked and House started at the sound. He hadn't heard her approach. Probably because of the motorcycle Wilson just rode off on, his mind bitterly added.

"So that's the guy you set him up with," Cameron hm'd. "Wilson seemed happy."

House snorted at the comment. "He was just happy to be leaving work, like I am." He walked away, still in disbelief.

He did not like how this was progressing at all. He'd just barely gotten Wilson back. He wasn't just going to sit back while some boy half their age waltzed right in and took him away again. He took only a moment to accept the fact that he was acting quite childish before continuing his rant about Wilson and Vic. He thought the name with as much venom as he possibly could.

If Wilson had been dating a woman, he'd know what to do. In fact, he wouldn't have cared as much really because he knew all the women eventually left Wilson alone in one way or another, and then he'd be back at House's house at nights and everything. That's how it had always been.

This was something entirely new though. This was a guy. This was uncharted territory and House didn't do uncharted. He'd have to put a stop to this, but he just didn't know how he'd be able to.


Unable to sleep very much, House arrived at the hospital early the next day.

Unfortunately, Wilson wasn't there yet. He did run into Cuddy though. He ogled her breasts half-heartedly before making a snide comment. It wasn't as fun as without Wilson watching, thinking that it meant more. His friend was horrible at matchmaking. Cuddy and he would never work out in the long run. In too many ways, she reminded him of Stacy and that was both attractive and repelling at the same time.

Instead of continuing their verbal banter for very long, he left for the balcony to wait for Wilson to get there already. Who'd have known Wilson apparently didn't have any problems with going out with a person of the same sex? House was certain he would've learned that about Wilson already. It didn't make any sense. For all his deductive reasoning, how could he have not seen this happening?

He was brought out of his musings when the sound of a motorcycle caught his attention. It didn't pull up to the entrance, but rather stopped at the sidewalk. The unmistakable form of Wilson getting off the bike made him frown. As he approached, House noted the fact that it looked like he was wearing the same clothes as he wore yesterday.

Not bothering to move when Wilson walked up the driveway and entered the building, he waited a few minutes after Wilson had entered his office before he crossed the balcony and entered. He walked in just as Wilson was changing his tie.

"You keep ties at your desk?" House was distracted for a moment before Wilson looked at him with an incredibly guilty expression. Then, he remembered why he'd arrived at work hours earlier than he should've. "Did you have fun last night?"

"Yeah," Wilson said noncommittally. He was actually still shaking from that motorcycle ride. He could see some of its appeal though, having to press tightly against the body in front of you, the wind blowing past. There's nothing but the sound of the engine and your thoughts. Wilson had the errant thought that he might not mind riding with House.

He could admit that to himself now only because he'd come to the realization the night before with Victor that he was gaining too much satisfaction at seeing House look jealous. Wilson had been distracted enough with his thoughts of House for the younger man to bring it to his attention. Victor had even brought it up with a knowing look. They'd eaten dinner and Victor dropped him off at his apartment.

Wilson spent all night just trying to figure out how a joke could go so wrong or how everything had turned out the way it had. He'd slept maybe a few hours before Victor showed up at his doorstep that morning to pick him up. He dressed in yesterday's clothes and told Victor that they probably were going to end the ruse after he was dropped off. Victor only shrugged and wished him luck.

It wasn't really fair. He'd actually had the upper hand, had a large advantage, and now, all because he'd realized that he might just possibly want his misanthropic friend as something more than a friend, he had to go ruin all that. Not that he was going to tell House this revelation right away. He'd just have to work harder on making sure to control himself better. There was no need to torture himself; with House's curiosity and obsessive nature, it was best to just let this pass so that they could get back to their lives before the blind date debacle.

He just decided that one more day of lording it over House wouldn't hurt though.

Seeing House looking at him expectantly, Wilson said, "I've got an appointment so if you don't mind."

House frowned at the dismissal. Wilson was just finishing up the knot on his tie when House grabbed it and yanked him forward. He let out a yelped "House" before steadying himself in this new awkward position halfway across his desk.

"I don't like that guy," House said seriously, as though it was normal for him to pull the other man across the desk like this.

Wilson didn't struggle, knowing he'd probably just succeed in choking himself. "That's nice."

"He's my mechanic."

"I know."

"You don't care?" House released his tie, but leaned forward on the desk enough so that Wilson had to back off since they'd been so close.

"He doesn't seem to mind."

"He's young."

Wilson sat back down, adjusting his tie. He said thoughtfully, "Is there a male equivalent to a cougar? 'Cause I might be it."

"He could be your son," House grimaced.

"A panther maybe."

"He's Cameron's age."

Wilson laughed. "Now that's a horrible comeback."

House paused and couldn't help but agree. "Fine. What do you even have in common?"

"I think a healthy, normal man."


"The male equivalent would be a normal man."

House shook his head, exhaling sharply.

"We talk." Wilson offered, not making it obvious that he and Vic weren't going to go out again.

"About what? Oil and carburetors," House said with disgust, "I can see your brain cells dying from over here."

"What do you think I talked with my wives about?" Wilson asked.

House pointed out, "Did your wives last?"

"Long enough."

"So your type is someone who's dumber than you."

Wilson said exasperatedly, "I don't need to be in a relationship with another oncologist. He knows more about motorcycles than I do."

"Doesn't make him smarter."

"Doesn't make him dumber."

"What about intelligent conversation?" House pressed.

"We have enough." Wilson defended.

"Intelligible isn't intelligent."

"I think I know the difference."


"Maybe he's good without having to speak."

House actually flinched at that. "I did not need that image in my head."

"What image?" Wilson played dumb.

"You come to work in the same clothes as yesterday what image do you think?"

"House," Wilson sighed. "What I do on my spare time…"

"You could just watch DVDs," House said trying to sound reasonable, "Why work the gay scene? You're too old."


"Is he going to take you to a gay bar? Make you wear your flower ties?" House said ignoring him.

"House." Wilson stopped him before he could continue. "He doesn't get to pick my ties just yet, and I'm not going to marry him."

"Hopefully not without a prenup."

"Maybe I just want to try something new."

The door suddenly opened. Kutner looked between them a moment, knowing he'd obviously walked in on something, before holding up a folder. "New case?"


It was near lunchtime when the tests were still being done and the fellows had finally left him alone when House made his decision. Wilson wanted something new? He'd solve that problem easily, and he didn't need Victor around to do so. He strode over to Wilson's office and barged in without knocking.

Wilson didn't even bother looking up.

"Dirty old man," House offered.

"What?" Wilson looked up.

"A male cougar," he clarified, "is a dirty old man."

Thinking about that for a moment, Wilson asked, "Couldn't you just say a pervert then?"

"Well," House shrugged, "would you like an animal equivalent?"

"I do believe that's what I asked for."

"A manther?"

Wilson paused, pretending to think about the word before shaking his head. "Doesn't have the same ring to it."

House lingered a bit at on the other side of his desk, not willing to sit down for what he was planning. Wilson continued filling out his paper work.

"So, you just want to try new things?" House finally started.

Wilson looked between his paper and House before sighing and leaning back in his chair. He knew he really should just tell House that it was nothing, but in the end, it wasn't nothing. It was something huge. "I don't know. I figure I should do something new, something else."

"Why don't you go through your mid-life crisis like everybody else?" House asked.

"I'm not having a mid-life crisis, and even if I were, I don't need to buy a car," Wilson replied, putting his pen down completely. This seemed like it was going to be a long conversation.

"Well, people don't suddenly turn gay."

"I'm not gay," Wilson said that with one concession in his mind. He added, "I'm potentially bi-curious."

"Well, bi-curious George, maybe you should try something else." House retorted.

Wilson rolled his eyes. Checking his watch, he realized it was almost noontime. "Lunch?" He asked, standing up. He hoped food would be enough of a distraction from their conversation.

"That'd be an unsatisfying crisis resolution," House replied even as he allowed a little room for Wilson to move towards the door. He followed.

"I could start eating like you do," Wilson said with obvious disdain, "That'll be a big change."

House looked at Wilson's back and knew it was now or never. When they were near the door, he tapped Wilson's shoulder. Turning around, Wilson wasn't prepared for when House pushed him against the door, using his weight to keep him still. Wilson didn't try to push him off in fear of hurting him more than necessary.

"House. What…?"

House kissed him before he could allow himself to think of what he was doing. Wilson flinched, hitting his head against the door and cutting the kiss off short. Stepping backwards, House adjusted his clothes before checking to see Wilson's reaction.

Wilson just stared at him in shock. He opened his mouth, but before he could say anything House cut him off, "If you have to ask what that was, then I think we've solved the mystery of your failed relationships."

Wilson rolled his eyes, still leaning awkwardly against the door. "Why?"

"I'm something new and old," House said with a self-satisfied grin, "It's the best of both worlds."

"Uh," Wilson reached up to touch the back of his head. He wondered just how hard he'd hit it.

"You'll stop seeing Vic?" Greg asked, as though he'd just solved all of Wilson's problems. In his mind, he had, or at least, had solved the ones that had been annoying him.

Wilson nodded mutely.

"I thought so. Crisis averted."

"But you…?" Wilson started.

House shrugged, pulling him away from the door with a little difficulty. "I'm Wilson-curious?"


End ficlet

A/N: Don't forget to R/R (Read and Review)!
Story Note: That did not end up the way I thought it would. Um, I was mildly amused with some parts. It ended weirdly and a bit too rapidly, but it's considerably longer than what I can normally handle in my current schedule. So, sorry?