Okay all. This is a crack fic. If you don't like crack don't bother reading it. Other than that, please enjoy the fic. This is a one shot. It might turn into a few one shots, depending on how I feel. Anywhos please R&R!


How Naruto Got Sasuke to Come Back To Konoha!!!


Kakashi, was once again in hospital, completely unconscious. Sakura was helping to look after him, and Naruto was sitting in the corner being silent. Which was an unusual feat for Naruto. Sakura looked at him in confusion.

"What's wrong Naruto?" She asked carefully.

"Don't you want to see what's under Kakashi-Sensei's mask?" Naruto asked.

Sakura blinked. "Are you serious?" Sakura asked.

"Sure I am. Seriously, aren't you just a little curious?" Naruto asked.

"We tried to get his mask off years ago. Sasuke was with us then and we still couldn't manage it." Sakura said sadly.

Naruto grinned foxily at her. "So? What's stopping us now?" Naruto asked.

"What are you talking about Naruto?" Sakura asked. She gazed at him with scrutiny.

"Kakashi-Sensei's unconscious. He won't know if we take a peek." Naruto replied. His grin getting wider.

"We are NOT doing that Naruto?" Sakura replied. She shook her head vigorously as she said this.

"Why not?" Naruto asked.

"Sasuke isn't here?" Sakura replied.

Naruto grinned evilly. "I have a plan for that." Naruto replied.

Sakura and Naruto spoke in hushed whispers as the unknowing Kakashi slept on. Oblivious to his student's plans.


Naruto, Sakura, Sai, Yamato and Kakashi had found the location of Orochimaru's hideout. Now of course, sneaking in would have been great, but Naruto appeared to have other ideas.

"SASUKE TEME!!! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOW!!!" Naruto yelled happily.

Kakashi and Yamato stared at Naruto in horrified shock, Sakura grinned, and Sai just looked like himself. Orochimaru, Kabuto and Sasuke appeared from some random place in the hideout.

"Sasuke-kun isn't going to come back to you. Why do you bother trying so hard?" Kabuto asked.

Naruto completely ignored him and Orochimaru. "Hey Teme?" Naruto called out happily.

Sasuke glared at Naruto. "What do you want Loser?" Sasuke asked.

"I know something you don't know!" Naruto sing songed at him.

Sasuke's eyes widened. "What the fuck? What the hell have you drugged the baka with Kakashi?" Sasuke asked.

"This is nothing to do with me." Kakashi said, spreading his arms in a sign of confusion.

"Oh but Sensei, don't be so modest!" Sakura said happily.

Sasuke looked at Sakura and Naruto and saw their large, cheeky grins. "Don't tell me, Sakura knows too." Sasuke stated. The pair nodded. "And I don't." Sasuke stated again. The pair nodded again, grinning happily.

Sasuke glared at Orochimaru. "You said you were teaching me everything, and that I would know everything they know and more?" Sasuke hissed out.

"They're bluffing." Orochimaru said. He looked just as confused as Kabuto, Kakashi and Yamato now looked.

"What could you, the loser, and Sakura, the annoying fangirl, possibly know, that I don't?" Sasuke asked.

"We know what Sensei's face looks like." Naruto said.

Sasuke's eyes bugged out of his head. Orochimaru and Kabuto blinked. Yamato's jaw dropped to the floor and Kakashi looked very confused. Sai just stayed neutral.

"That's impossible. How could you guys know what my face looks like?" Kakashi asked.

"We took your mask off while you were unconscious." Sakura replied, with a cheery smile on her face.

Sasuke's jaw dropped to the floor then. Kakashi stared at his students in amazement.

"How could you two do such a thing? You invaded my privacy!" Kakashi asked. His voice filled with genuine shock.

"Well you see Sensei.... Oh what the hell am I trying to be nice for. It was easy. You were unconscious and we wanted to see your face, so we took the mask off." Naruto replied. Sakura giggled next to him.

Kakashi blinked a few times, gazed at his students in shock, then fainted on the floor. "Kakashi-Senpai!" Yamato yelled as he tried to revive Kakashi from unconsciousness.

Naruto grinned up at Sasuke, who was standing on a cliff looking down at him. "Y'know Sasuke we took pictures!" Naruto exclaimed happily.

Sasuke's eyes bugged out of his head even more if it were possible. At that moment, Kakashi had woken up again.

"WHAT?" Kakashi yelled at his students, from his position, sitting up on the floor.

"We took pictures of your face without the mask on?" Sakura questioned back.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! YOU'LL SELL THEM TO FANGIRLS FOR MILLIONS!!!" Kakashi yelled. Then he fainted again, prompting Yamato to try and rouse him to consciousness.

"God damn it Naruto. Lemme see those pictures!" Sasuke yelled.

Naruto grinned at Sasuke evilly. "Oh heeeell no Teme! You ain't getting them that easily." Naruto stated.

"I'll buy you ramen?" Sasuke said. Naruto shook his head. "I'll pay you vast sums of money?" Sasuke questioned. Naruto still shook his head. "I'll beat the crap out of you?" Sasuke hissed.

Naruto grinned. "Like that's gonna work on me Teme! You already used Chidori on me and I lived, so you really think I can't take a beating?" Naruto questioned.

Sasuke sat down on the cliff edge, with his chin on his hand. "Well I suppose that's true." Sasuke replied. "So what will it take for me to get a look at those pics?" Sasuke asked.

"Come back to Konoha?" Naruto said. Sakura nodded next to him.

"What he's not going to come back t-" Orochimaru started. But he got interrupted.

"Done!" Sasuke said. He jumped down and landed next to Naruto. "Let's go home Dobe. I can't wait to see those pictures." Sasuke said happily.

"What the fuck? Sasuke I thought you wanted power?" Orochimaru asked. His voice quivering.

"Sure I do, but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity Snake-bastard. I've gotta take it." Sasuke replied.

Kabuto started to speak. "You can't do this, Orochimaru-Sama is the best Sensei and-"

"SHUT UP KABUTO!" Sasuke, Naruto, Sakura and Sai yelled. Then Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke looked at Sai.

"What? He's annoying?" Sai stated, as if answering their unasked question.

Yamato picked up Kakashi, who was still out cold, and the group started walking.

"Sasuke! You can't do this to me!" Orochimaru yelled. The group ignored him as they walked off.

"So Naruto-kun, can I see one of those pictures?" Sai asked.

"Sure, but you have to streak around the village naked, first." Naruto replied.

Sai glared. "God damn it! First Ino, then Ten Ten, now you too? What is with you people daring me to streak around the village?" Sai asked.

"Ino and Ten Ten leant me the Polaroid camera. They made me swear that if you asked for a picture, that I'd make you streak. Sorry Sai. They all just love your naked body I guess." Naruto replied. Sakura laughed loudly.

"I say Sasuke got the better end of the deal!" Sai exclaimed angrily.

"Yeah I definitely did." Sasuke answered, draping an arm around Naruto's and Sakura's shoulders, whilst Yamato still carried Kakashi. "So when do I get to see those pictures Naruto?" Sasuke asked.

"When we get back to Konoha. I never bought them with me." Naruto replied happily.

"Why don't we go and buy some doughnuts when we get back to Konoha?" Sakura asked. The three boys nodded their heads happily.

"Yeah doughnuts!" Naruto yelled happily.

"Sweet doughnuts!" Sasuke added.

"Sweet, sweet, doughnuts!" Sai added.

"What the fuck is wrong with Sai?" Naruto asked.

"Oh I forgot to take my riddlin today." Sai said happily.

"Makes a change, you usually need Prozac!" Sakura replied.

"On towards Konoha!" Naruto yelled.

"And the sweet doughnuts!" Sai added.

"And the pictures of Kakashi without a mask on!" Sasuke yelled too.

So they all walked off into the sunset back to Konoha, where they dined on doughnuts and ramen and Sai streaked through the village naked. Ino and Ten Ten took shots of him with their Polaroid camera and afterwards, the group went back to Naruto's apartment, where Naruto gave oth Sai and Sasuke a picture of Kakashi without his mask.

And that was how Naruto got Sasuke to come back to Konoha.


Okay all, I hope you all enjoyed that. It was mad crack. I don't know what ya all thought of it but I hope it made someone laugh. I give thanks to my little brother, EroKitsune1234 for the idea. Love your madness baby bro!!! Anyways, please tell me what ya all think of it and if you want more mad one shots like this. Bye until next time.