Okay all, here is another one shot, inspired by a picture I saw on Deviantart, created by ToonTwins. So this chapter is dedicated to ToonTwins because without their picture I wouldn't have written this fic. The picture is called "Sakura For The Win" check it out people. Here's the link.
Anywho, thanks to all the people who added me to their faves and alert lists and those who reviewed and such. I really appreciate it.
WARNING: There is Twilight Bashing, sexual references and dodgy innuendoes in this chapter.
How Sakura Really Defeated Sasori.
Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto and Sai were all waiting for Kakashi to show up at the bridge. As usual, he was late for their training session and the group were becoming bored, except for Sai, because Sai doesn't feel anything ninety five percent of the time.
"So Sakura how did you get that information from Sasori?" Naruto asked suddenly.
"What information?" Sasuke asked.
"The information that led us to you." Sakura replied. Sasuke and Sai stared at Naruto and Sakura, also curious about the answer, but not wanting to show it.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Sakura replied.
"So tell us and let us be the judges on what we believe." Naruto replied. Sakura sighed and then she began to tell them to story.
xXxXxXx FLASHBACK xXxXxXx
"So you're from Konoha?" Sasori stated as he looked at Sakura.
"Way to state the obvious." Sakura answered.
"Sasori, you must stop what you've been doing and come back home." Chiyo scolded Sasori.
"No way Grandma. After that time you tried to give me the talk after finding my porn collection, I'm never going home again." Sasori replied.
"Uhm... I have a valid objection." Sakura interrupted.
"What might that be?" Sasori asked.
"If you're a puppet then how the hell does it even matter if you have a porn collection? You need blood vessels to... you know..." Sakura trailed off.
"Look if Edward Cullen, the sparkly undead vampire, can get Bella Swan pregnant with his magical sperm, then I can still enjoy sex." Sasori replied.
"Good point." Sakura acknowledged.
"Wait, magic sperm?" Chiyo asked.
"Yes, Edward Cullen must have magic sperm, because as his heart doesn't beat, blood doesn't pump around his body. Seeing as blood doesn't pump around his body, how the hell does he get it up to have sex? Oh and if he does, as a vampire, with no bodily fluids, who must drink blood to survive, how does he have sperm in the first place to get Bella pregnant?" Sasori replied. Chiyo looked thoughtful.
"You know I never thought of that at all. That's a major hole in the plot of the story." Chiyo said seriously. "I must go and do research on this magic vampire." Chiyo added. Then she left. Sakura and Sasori stared at each other.
"So... how the hell do you enjoy sex?" Sakura asked curiously.
"Do you really want to know the answer to that question?" Sasori shot back.
"Yes, from a purely medical standpoint, yes I do." Sakura replied.
"I have a jutsu that gives me my human penis whenever I want it." Sasori replied.
"I'm not sure I want to know how that works, but I bet Orochimaru invented that jutsu." Sakura commented.
"Of course Orochimaru invented it. The rest of us had better things to do then obsess over our sex lives. Although the fact that Orochimaru obsesses over creating jutsu like that actually worked out pretty well for me." Sasori agreed.
"Can you please tell me where Orochimaru is?" Sakura asked.
"No." Sasori replied.
"I'll let you go." Sakura said.
"Still my answer is no. I'm sure I could kick your ass." Sasori replied. Sakura pulled out a jar from her medicine pouch. On it, was the label TERMITES.
"You wouldn't dare!" Sasori yelled.
"Oh wouldn't I?" Sakura asked. She made to unscrew the lid.
"NOOOOOO! OKAY I'LL TELL YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT TO KNOW!" Sasori yelled.
xXxXxXx END FLASHBACK xXxXxXx
"Wait a Kami damned minute!" Naruto yelled. "You defeated Sasori with Termites? Termites?" Naruto added.
"Yeah. He was a puppet made of wood. So I just... released the termites that I had in a jar for... medicinal purposes." Sakura replied.
"You wanted to use them on Kankuro's puppets and they became convenient." Naruto quipped.
"That's ridiculous." Sasuke snorted.
"How did you know?" Sakura exclaimed.
"Because Kankuro has really creepy puppets." Naruto replied. Sakura nodded her agreement, while Sasuke and Sai both decided that they didn't want Naruto to ask questions ever again.
Okay all, I hope you found this little one shot funny. Please R&R and let me know what you thought.