Buffy the Vampire Slayer

It's Not About Gender

Scotland was cold. Really frickin' cold!

Buffy Summers, the original Slayer, sat about her room, deep in thought. The room itself? Oh, it wasn't much. She did live in an old castle, after all. It was mostly bare, adorned with flowery pictures and ancient weaponry. I know, weird combination, huh? Strangely, thought, it really seemed to sum up Buffy Summers.

What was on her mind, you ask? Oh, you know, the usual. The virtually unknown enemy that lurked in her future with his fancy ass flyin' and billowy black coat (so original!), the hordes of Demons she would no doubt be battling sometime soon, and of course, the most predominant topic – Satsu, her sister-slayer and sometimes lesbian lover. Okay, so maybe it's not all that usual.

Ever since leaving Satsu behind in Japan, Buffy hadn't been able to stop thinking about her. It was infuriating. She didn't know how to come to terms with her sudden longing for Satsu. She had never felt this way about a woman before – never, ever. So why now? What about Satsu was different? Or was it, actually, nothing to do with her?

They might make instruction manuals for lesbian sex, but they certainly didn't make them for this.

A knock on the door signalled the arrival of Willow, who opened the door shortly after and stood regarding her best friend from the doorway. Buffy glanced up only once, mumbled a, 'Hey Will,' and then went back to thinking about Satsu.

'What's up Buff? You're like, all pensive.'

'It's nothing,' Buffy said, in a pretty pathetic attempt to deflect the Witch's questions.

'Really?' Willow let a smile of amusement flit across her face as she shut the door behind her. ''Cos you're been like this ever since we left Tokyo. And Satsu.'

Buffy turned around on her bed and looked out her window, gazing up at the stars, over the rolling Scottish highlands, anything she could look at, as long as it wasn't Willow's smug looking face.

'Why are you trying so hard to deny it?' Willow asked, genuinely curious. 'It's so obvious you're into her. And why wouldn't you be? She's really hot, she's strong, she's completely in love with you, and hey, she really does have the coolest hair.'

Buffy didn't know how to respond. She couldn't answer those questions to herself, so how could she answer them to Willow?

'It's the gay thing, isn't it? It completely wigs you, I know. I saw it in your face the first time I told you about Tara. If I wasn't your friend, you would have thought I was a freak, wouldn't you?'

'No!' Buffy suddenly whipped around, facing Willow for the first time. 'I… that wasn't the reason, you just surprised me. I'm not like that. I don't feel that way. I'm all open mindy about that stuff.'

'Then what about Satsu?' Willow asked the big question.

'I don't know,' Buffy said, lowering her head. She went on, in a whisper, 'I can't stop thinking about her. I won't deny it. I dream about her, but it's not even sexual. I just dream of her. Being with her. Touching her belly. Will, she has such a sexy belly.'

'If that isn't a sign,' Willow said, 'then I don't know what is. You like Satsu, Buffy. Maybe you even love her.'

Buffy closed her eyes. 'Maybe,' she admitted.

'Then what are you still doing here?' Willow asked. 'Get your skinny Slayer butt over to Tokyo and bring Satsu back.'

'I can't,' Buffy argued.

'Why not?'

'Because I… I'm not gay,' Buffy said.

'Will you stop with the gay fixation?' Willow very nearly shouted. 'Why must people put labels on things like this? Gay, Straight, they're just words, Buffy. Like Love and Hate. They can't sum up what a person feels. People are more complicated than that. You didn't love Angel because he was a man, did you? You loved him for who he was! You think I didn't love Oz? Because I did. So much. Still do. Gender doesn't matter when it comes to love, Buffy. You love whomever you love, regardless. And if you can accept it, that's swell. If not, I feel sorry for you. It's up to you, Buffy. Satsu won't wait forever.'

'You really believe that?' Buffy asked.

'I do,' Willow replied. 'I mean, yeah, people have preferences. I'd say I lean more towards women, attraction wise, but that doesn't mean I won't fall for a guy in the future. You definitely lean more towards men, but something about Satsu has always attracted you. You had sex with her, Buff. Think you could do that if you didn't feel some attraction? Sexually? And you're pining for her. And it's more than just lust, isn't it? Face it, Buffy. Accept it. Trust me, it's amazing.'

Buffy allowed herself a sad little smile. 'I remember,' she admitted. 'And…'

'And?' Willow prompted.

'I always did love her hair.'

A/N: Okay, short and then just a little bit more short, I know, but it was just a little tester I did in like half an hour. If you guys like, let me know, and I'll write more. I'm not saying it'll turn into a full on fanfic, but it'll at least be a few one-shots and snippet and stuff, depending on what comes to mind. Maybe next time we'll actually get some Satsu and Buffy lovin'. Who knows? Really liking this pairing right now. Oh, yeah, I've only read up to "Wolves at the Gate", please don't ruin what happens later for me if you're read ahead. Review and tell me what you think. Thanks a lot for reading!