GAH. That is all. This story has been on hiatus for FOREVER. This is my attempt to get rolling again.
I got to the end of this chapter and realized that I needed to up the rating. WHOOT! Or not? Sorry to any of my younger readers. Skip the second flashback, and if you don't, I'm not responsible, and don't tell your parents I said that. Or that. Or that. Or that.
"My Saviour" by Dead By April.
"I can appreciate that you're scared."
"No, you can't."
"And I'm sorry you feel like you made a mistake."
Ultra Magnus shuttered his optics, rubbing the space between them tiredly. The femme tucked into his berth curled up tighter beneath his blanket, scowling to herself.
"Then why are you here, Lita?" Magnus asked at length, turning to look at the bulge under his thermal blanket from his perch on the side of the berth. He was exhausted, but frag if he was going to get into the berth while she was there. He'd rather die than lie in the same bed as his best friend's beloved sparkmate.
"I just…needed some space."
Magnus rubbed the back of his helm, upset. "I don't pretend to know everything there is to know about sparkbonds, but…shouldn't you feel most free and most comfortable when you're with Optimus?"
"Shut up, Magnus," she said scathingly. "You don't know a thing about Optimus and me."
He sighed, dropping his face into his hands. "Where does he think you are?"
"I don't know. Around."
"You're bonded to him, for Primus's sake. At least tell him where you're going if you're not going to go home."
"I never had to when we were just dating."
"You're his bonded, Elita! I'm sorry, but even if you're not mature enough to handle it, you have a responsibility to him now!"
The femme didn't respond, and Magnus got to his feet, angry.
"You're being selfish, not to mention childish. Come talk to me when you're ready to stop acting like a sparkling."
She threw aside the blanket, leaning over the side of the berth and catching his hand in hers, her voice shaking.
"Magnus. I love him."
The sub-commander paused, gazing with longing optics at his door, beyond which this nightmare between his best friends didn't exist, before releasing a long, low sigh and turning back to look at the femme. Her helm was lowered, her optics trained on the ground, but her whole frame shook.
"I love him," she repeated quietly. "Optimus. I love him so much I could die. I hate being away from him. It tears me apart. It makes me want to cry. I love him so much I can't stop thinking about him when we're apart. I love him so much it makes me sob when he kisses me. When we make love I think my spark's going to explode. When we bonded I thought I was going to die on the spot."
"Do you know how scary that is?" she demanded, looking up at him with tearful optics. "Do you know how scary it is to need someone that much? Do you know how weak that makes me feel?"
"That's part of love, sweetspark," Magnus said gently, lowering himself to his knees and cupping her faceplates in his hands. "That vulnerability is just part of the process. It's natural. And for you, who has more pride than any other femme I've ever met…of course you're scared to just give yourself over to another."
Elita bit her lower lip, burying her face in her hands. Sighing quietly, Magnus pulled her into his arms, tucking her helm beneath his chin.
"Optimus loves you," he assured her softly, rubbing her backplating soothingly. "He adores you. You mean the universe to him. Talk to him, tell him how you feel. He'll understand. You know you can place your trust in him—he'd never hurt you."
"He can't protect me," she said bitterly. "I love him, Magnus, I do, but he's weak. He lets me walk all over him. How can I feel safe with a mech who won't even ask me to make room for him in the berth, let alone in my spark?"
Magnus's optics dimmed, and he shook his head. "I'm sorry, Elita. I'm sorry. I wish I had the answers for you." He pulled her closer when she released a shaky sob, and his spark ached. "I wish I could help…"
"Lita—come here, dearest, come here…"
Magnus was drawn abruptly from his reverie when the sparkling hanging from his fingers took a tentative step forward, wavering before determinedly planting another foot on the ground just ahead of the first.
"Opmus!" she squealed happily, releasing Magnus's fingers and waving her hands, only to promptly fall on her tiny aft. She blinked twice, bewildered, and tried to get up, failing with a huff.
"It's alright, darling, you can do it," Optimus cooed, edging closer and reaching for her. Magnus helped the sparkling back to her feet, smiling when she took three steps, hanging onto his fingers until the last moment before springing forward two steps and flailing wildly before Optimus caught her, laughing.
"Remind me again why we're teaching her to walk?" Magnus sighed, rolling his optics when Optimus cheerfully handed his sparkmate back to his best friend. "She's going to be of walking age within the next few orns at the most."
"Because I've always wanted to experience it, and it could be a while before Elita and I are settled enough to have our own sparklings," Optimus explained, grinning and opening his arms to his excited sparkling. "Do it again, Lita, I'm right here!" She hovered for a moment, hanging back on Magnus's hands. Optimus's optics warmed, and he extended his hands toward her. "Come on, sweetspark—I swear I'll catch you if you fall."
The sparkling squealed, threw Magnus's hands aside, and took five bounding steps forward, leaping into Optimus's lap and hoisting herself upright on his chestplates, chattering excitedly and reaching for his face. The Autobot commander burst into laughter, pulling her close and cradling her to his immense frame.
"Good job," he murmured tenderly, brushing his mouthplates over her helm. "Good job, Lita…"
Elita purred, curling up against his chest and tucking her head beneath his chin, pawing happily at the armor over his spark.
"It might be horrible of me, but I was immensely relieved at how attached she is," Optimus said quietly, shuttering his optics and resting his helm against that of his tiny sparkmate. His immense hands eclipsed her form almost completely.
"How do you mean?"
"She's been distant lately. Cold. To be honest, I was frightened that our relationship was going to dissolve in spite of our bond. But ever since this accident, she can't even stand to be away from me…"
"I love him so much I can't stop thinking about him when we're apart."
"Sorry?" Optimus lifted his head, looking at his friend in confusion. "Magnus?"
"No, nothing—sorry," Magnus chuckled, shaking his head. "She loves you, Optimus. Elita is a complex creature, and she might not always know how to express it, but she loves you very deeply. I'm sure she'd be very upset to know that you ever doubted it."
Optimus nodded briefly, rubbing a hand over Elita's back when she squirmed in his arms. "Yeah…"
He couldn't remember a kiss ever feeling so good. Her body was exquisite, her every soft moan in his audio sent sweet fire burning through his circuits. They moved together in heated tandem, their love making slow and excruciatingly intense. She gripped him so tightly he wondered if her fingers would pierce through his armor, and found that he wouldn't particularly mind even if they did.
"Mmn…ah…Opt—Optimus—Optimus, I—" She drew a shaking breath, trying to speak around the heat of their passion, releasing an unsteady cry when he took her deeper. "I l-love you…"
He froze entirely, practically dropping her from his arms and back onto the berth, staring down at her in bewilderment. "You what?"
Elita blinked, startled by his amazement, and immediately felt her faceplates grow hot. "N-Nothing…"
"No, what did you—"
"I didn't say anything—"
"Optimus, forget it—"
"Can't we even frag without you—"
He shook his head, pulling her closer and pressing his mouthplates to hers, kissing her as firmly and as passionately as he could manage. "I was going to tell you," he panted, pulling his mouth from hers and moaning when she pulled him back to her. They kissed for what seemed to be an eternity, making love to one another's mouths before he could get another word in. "As soon as we were done, I was going to tell you…"
"Tell me what?" she asked breathlessly, tracing her glossa over his bottom lip. She'd never had a mech who tasted so good.
He drew back, cupping her face in his hands, pressing their helms together. Caressing her cheek, softly thumbing her pretty faceplates, he lowered one hand to gently grip her thigh, and she shuddered when he entered her again, setting a slow pace between her legs. Her arms went around him, her hands linking behind his neck, hips rising and falling to meet his pace. She wondered absently when the simple act of love making had become so very important and so very meaningful.
"That I love you," he told her quietly, bringing his mouth to hers in a spark-wrenchingly tender kiss. She shuddered her optics, feeling the hardness of his body, the softness of his mouth, his heat blossoming inside of her, marking her as his. The thought of belonging to him sent thrills through her.
"I love you…"
…Or that. Or that. Or that. Or that.
Freakishly short chapter is freakishly short. Sorry…. I'll try to get this story back on track, this is just a quickie (HAH!) to let all of you know this story isn't quite abandoned, but I'm having trouble finding, you know, a plot. And stuff.
Reviiiiiiew. It will make me write mooooooore.