AN: I've just decided to try one of these. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.


Twenty year old Hyuuga Hinata and Twenty-one year old Hyuuga Neji sat facing each other in their bedroom, each holding a pen, a sheet of paper, and wearing a determined look.

"This will only work if you cooperate," Neji said stiffly. "This mariage is going nowhere, and we're expected to provied an heir-" Hinata flushed, and bit her lip.

"I-I w-w-will. B-but don't g-g-go overboard ag-again!"

"When have I gone overboard?" he demanded.

"L-last time, y-you g-got, l-like, FIFTY-"

"Is it my fault that I could think of fifty?"

"Y-yes!"

"No. It isn't. It's your fault for being so..."

"S-so what!?"

"Impossible to live with!"

"I-"

"Let's just get this over with," he said angrily. A small ping from the timer next to them made them both begin scribbling madly....

The hours passed... before a louder ping made them both straighten up. Hyuuga Neji flexed his hand, feeling it cramping from all that he'd written.

"D-done?" Hinata asked tentatively. He nodded curtly.

"I could still do a lot more... but since you'll say I went 'overboard' again..." he said mockingly. She frowned, and they exchanged papers. Hinata gasped at what she saw...

"Y-you did go o-overboard again!" she said accusingly.

"You haven't read it yet. And you got thirty this time! I only did forty-three."

"I-"

"Just read it." Hinata sighed, and stared at the paper in her lap... which was making her more irritated by the line. It was written in Neji's impossibly neat script, and said:

Things Hyuuga Hinata Is Not Allowed To Do:

1- Arrange Neji's clothing by color, size, and material without his permission.

2- Buy a different brand of shampoo without telling him.

3- Ask him why it's a big deal when she does.

4- Tell him his hair's too well taken care of anyway, and question (or imply) whether he's straight or not, because his hair is so "silky and feminine... n-not in a ba-bad w-way!"

5- Ask her father why he doesn't take as good care of his hair as Neji.

6- Laugh when he says he doesn't care as much as Neji does about his hair.

7- Put Neji's hair ties away in a different drawer without telling him.

8- Invite Naruto over without permission.

9- Blush furiously when Naruto kisses her cheek goodnight.

10- Still act like she has an impossible crush on Naruto; she's MARRIED.

11- Tell Sakura Neji's secret to keeping his hair so soft when she asks.

12- Stutter at every damn compliment Naruto gives her.

13- Say 'y-y-yes' nervously when people ask if she and Neji are married.

14- Tell her father they're 'trying' when he asks about children. It's weird, AWKWARD, and a complete LIE, as they've never so much as ATTEMPTED.

15- Freak out when Neji makes dinner.

16- Ask him to taste his creation first, and blush when he asks her why she doesn't just eat the damn soup.

17- Talk about Naruto for more than fifteen minutes.

18- Blush when she talks about Naruto.

19- Take an hour in the shower.

20- Point out that Neji rhymed whenever he does so accidentally (see above for example), and launch into an explanation of her favorite poetry.

21- Ramble on about the conversation she had with Naruto about different kinds of ramen (or whatever the hell he talks about) yesterday.

22- Call Neji's features feminine when she thinks he can't hear her talking to her sister.

23- Use the excuse "i-i-in a goo-good w-way!"

24- Always get to sleep on the right, because she's afraid of sleeping closest to the door.

25- Tell Neji he's "b-being s-s-silly" when he demands to know why she's afraid of the door, if she's a fucking SHINOBI.

26- Tell Neji off for swearing.

27- Arrange a schedule of who gets to sleep the right side of the bed when.

28- Give herself more turns than Neji on said schedule.

29- Try to touch Neji's hair when he's asleep, because she doesn't have the guts to do so when he's AWAKE.

30- Ask if Neji STRAIGHTENS his hair; he's not completely vain, it isn't HIS fault you're jealous of his hair.

31- Make pasta for dinner three weeks straight, because she's too afraid to go shopping.

32- Act like a completely innocent little girl.

33- Tell Neji to "g-g-go ea-easy?" when training.

34- Stare longingly after Naruto.

35- Ignore this list.

36- Complain that Neji gets upset over the most simple things.

37- Eat more than a pound of chocolate; she gets hyper and jumps on the bed, giving Neji the responsibility of FIXING it.

38- Sleep on the couch when Neji gets to the bed before she can.

39- Act all embarrased when saying the name "Naruto."

40- Try to peek at what Neji's writing.

41- Let TenTen play the "amusing" joke of switching Neji's shampoo with one that makes it curl insanely.

42- Let TenTen play ANY joke on a sleeping or awake Neji.

43- Sigh dreamily at the thought of seeing Naruto.

Hinata stared at Neji with her mouth open.

"That's nothing. I wasn't done yet," he said carelessly, and turned to the list in his hands. His hands shook:

Things Hyuuga Neji Is Not Allowed To Do:

1- Purposely say awkward things so that Hinata will blush and stammer.

2- COMPLAIN after saying those things about her blush and stammer.

3- Act so defensive whenever Hinata mentions her FRIEND Naruto.

4- Make snide comments that IMPLY that Hinata still pines for happily-married-to-Sakura-Naruto.

5- Act annoyed when TenTen comes over.

6- Complain about Hinata's cooking.

7- Complain about Hinata's choice of shampoo; if it bothers him so much he can go buy a different brand himself.

8- Say that Hinata's braver in writing simply because she doesn't stutter.

9- Use foul language in the presence of Naruto; it does NOT matter that said guest ALSO uses that language.

10- Punch a hole through the wall because he's frustrated.

11- Ask Hanabi whether she has a washing machine pointedly when she comes and does her laundry here.

12- Mock Hinata for, at one point in her life, liking Naruto.

13- Get irritated because Hinata still has trouble saying "marriage," and ask her if it's because it makes her feel old.

14- Freak out at a simple prank his teamate pulled on him, and blame it on Hinata.

15- Ban said teamate from the house.

16- Get angry when Hinata starts wondering about baby names; it's something that they have to think about.

17- Refuse to grasp the concept of "ladies first," and shove Hinata to the left side of the bed; he KNOWS she prefers the right and should be a gentleman about it.

18- Get angry because she doesn't trust his cooking; he IS a man, after all.

19- Change the music she's listening to when he comes home.

20- Buy bug spray and put it pointedly on the front porch when Shino comes to visit.

21- Wrinkle nose at the thought of children.

22- Say that Hinata's being stupid when she cringes at his touch; he KNOWS she's sensitive about that.

23- Snap at every innocent question she asks.

24- Swear in front of their future children.

25- Accuse Hinata of touching his hair; she was only trying to... brush some dust off the couch when her hand got caught.

26- Laugh at her when she blushes; it's a perfectly normal reaction to embarrasing situations.

27- Raise his eyebrows at every comment Hinata makes.

28- Crumple up this list and stick it down the back of Hinata's shirt.

29- Ignore her reaction to said action and jump out the window to go train; it makes her feel guilty.

30- Say he doesn't care for her cooking when it's the same thing every day; she tries her best.

Neji's eyes narrowed as he reached the end of the list. Without speaking, he looked back at her.

"A-are we go-going to k-keep to th-them?" Hinata asked, her face red. He smiled mockingly, and crumpled up her list. "Neji!" Hinata frowned, and crumpled his up, too. She lobbed it into the wastebasket. "W-what a-a-are you g-going to d-do with it?" she asked supisciously when she saw Neji was still holding his. Expressionless, he came closer to her, wrapping an arm around her... Hinata twiched, and her face turned even redder. He put his lips close to her ear, as if he were going to kiss her...

"This," he breathed, and stuffed the paper ball into the front of her shirt. He brushed his nose against her cheek mockingly, and was at the open window in a matter of seconds. Raising an eyebrow at her shocked face, he jumped out. Hinata dashed over as soon as he was out of the room, and managed to catch a glimpse of him running towards his preffered training grounds. She sighed, and went to cook their dinner. Looking frustrated as she did so, she began to boil pasta...


AN: Well... that's that. I thought it was okay... was it okay!? ANSWER ME! REVIEW! Please... ?

Cheers!

-Comedy