Yeah, so this first chapter was completely lacking so I edited it and re-posted it because, well, the other version was just awful. I'll try not to completely change it just in case somebody liked it this way (I doubt it.) This story deserves a better beginning.

Full Summary: In the uncertain world of adults, Sora and Riku attempt to patch together their shaky relationship after almost 5 years apart. It's about love and hate and lost trust, set in a world where the magic has run dry and the boys see each for who they really are. The tension doesn't last for long, however, as both men fall into a routine that they both know very well. Along the way, they become reacquainted with the old qualities that brought them together, while familiarizing themselves with the individuals that each person has become.

Warnings: Intimacy between two males(oooooh!), Near sex, Microscopic amount of language

Disclaimer: None of the characters within this fanfic belong to me. If it did, this would be a full length movie with all smexy-slashy-yaoiness I could legally fit onto a single DVD. Kingdom Hearts is a lovely invention of Square Enix.


Chapter 1: Arousal


Riku couldn't believe how different he looked. He almost didn't recognize him at first—as an adult, his body was no longer lanky but slender and defined. His skin was sun-kissed and gorgeous as always, the true sign of a kid who had spent most of his young life on an island, but there was an obvious change in the way he wore it. With confidence, and a self-awareness that Riku almost found intimidating.

Sora had finally realized what every one else saw in him. That effortless beauty and charisma that made him so irresistible, he wasn't so oblivious to it anymore. And it showed. Especially now as he strolled with a deliberate ease around his silver-haired friend's studio apartment, dancing his fingers lightly over the occasional piece of furniture. He pretended to be admiring the artwork on the walls, taking in each raw, unframed canvas with vibrant curious eyes.

Sora stopped at a piece roughly 9 feet in diameter, his brow furrowing cutely at the unrecognizable form, a large dark purple splotch, red and blue around the edge where the paint didn't mix completely. Five individual hand prints stamped out around it, one of which was a smeared red that was just centimeters shorter than the hand Sora placed over it. It didn't used to be.

"You kept it?" Sora asked needlessly, pale water-blue eyes tilting farther upward, recognizing clawed tears near the top of the canvas, ones his own short nails had made.

When Riku failed to comment, Sora finally looked back at him, establishing a firm eye contact that Riku couldn't break from. He couldn't help but chuckle at his tenacity. All the haircuts, growth spurts and sinewy muscle hadn't really changed him at all. There wasn't much that could rid Sora of that challenging gleam in his eyes.

Riku shrugged reservedly, inclining his beer until the tangy liquid filled his mouth. What was there to explain? So he kept the painting—their painting—the same piece of fabric he had taken Sora's virginity on was hanging on his wall. How much explanation did that need?

"It's aesthetically pleasing." Riku remarked, smirking at the scowl his friend shot at him. Former friend. Their relationship had never really recovered that night, unfortunately. The night Riku had laved himself in Ultramarine Blue, Sora in Cadmium Red Light and fucked on a 9 foot canvas spread on the floor of this very apartment. That was back when the younger man still trusted him, back when he would've willingly given Riku his heart without a second thought.

"Yeah, right." Sora scoffed, his scowl less prominent as some of his contagious playfulness began to show. He folded his arms over a chest more notable than it used to be, the lean muscle in his forearms flexing impressively. "It's kinda gross." His comment pointed out the odd stains on the canvas that just weren't quite paint.

"I think it's charming." Riku defended without much conviction, rising from his chair silently to stand beside Sora and admire their work from up close. It was the sweat and spit and semen that made this piece so personal. It was the little spot on the bottom right corner that he was pretty sure was all Sora that made his stomach tighten as his fingertips touched it, feeling how dried and faded it was now. "You came right here."

Sora blanched at the bluntness of his statement, idly wondering just how many beers he had before Sora showed up. He suddenly became hyper aware of the man standing at his side, of the superior height he'd always have over him no matter how many years passed. Riku still towered a good six or seven inches taller than Sora, a quality that Sora had resented.

A long pale arm came around his other side, touching another similar stain as reminiscent as the first, the distance between both points bringing the 23-year-old's chest against his ex's back. "Remember?" Sora trembled at the sensual tone in his voice, allowing himself a moment of weakness in his resolve to lightly touch the elongated fingers, their rough knuckles and paint-flecked nails.

Riku's hair smelled like a mixture of chemicals as it draped freely over Sora's shoulder. Solvents and additives, resin, grease from oil paints and titanium dioxide and polyurethane. Tarnished from years of "expressing himself."

Sora turned his head slightly, unexpectedly bumping his nose into Riku's cheek. He faltered at their close proximity, his chagrin met with an indecipherable smile. Cerulean eyes watched him carefully from behind the low strength lens of Riku's wire-framed glasses. He usually only wore them when he was painting, but seeing them now made Sora wonder if he needed them much more than he let on.

Riku kept his hands on either side of the smaller framed man, purposefully trapping him there to look him over. As perverse as sounded, the man had to admit that his intentions weren't really that far from sexual in nature. Sora was pretty much grown up now; a year younger than himself of course, 22-years old. He was keeping his hair cut short—a more controlled version of his usual spiky hairstyle—and a small diamond stud in his right ear that Riku found oddly captivating, wanting to pinch it between his teeth and suck it and roll his tongue around it. He hadn't realized he was leaning closer until Sora seemingly by accident bumped into him, brushing the erection he wasn't completely aware of having.

Sora inhaled sharply at the feel of the familiar hardness pressing eagerly at the center seam of his pants, his first instinct to shove him away and call him the pervert that he was. But for whatever reason, he didn't. Nostalgia, he decided, subtly backing into the awaiting stiffness again. It had been 5 years. They clearly missed each other. Easy explanation.

Riku gave a small experimental thrust against his clothed backside, smirking in wonder that he hadn't been immediately rejected. Sora exhaled softly, repeating the same motion with longing, clenching his teeth to keep from sounding too desperate. He ducked his head and raised his shoulder blades in an attempt to hide himself, rolling his hips back, making it rub just the right spot. It wasn't enough but it was close. Close to the ecstasy that Sora knew Riku could give him—wanted to give him.

Riku steadied himself as the smaller man began rocking against him harder than before. He couldn't keep the amusement from his face and found himself thankful that Sora was facing the opposite direction. Knowing Sora, he probably wouldn't respond well to possible ridicule. He may have acted like a dork but the truth was that the man had always been very sensitive, even when they were kids.

Sora felt Riku's rough hands push his shirt up to the middle of his back, through his lustful grinding feeling a rare spike of something close to panic, a sudden uneasiness setting in under the giddy anticipation he always felt when receiving attention from Riku. Warm lips closed around his ear, hotly tugging at his earring and Sora nearly forgot why these feelings and this situation they were involved in was so, so wrong.

"Why did you finally show up, Sora?" The heat in his ear was so sudden Sora took several long seconds before he realized that it was the man's tongue and not his brain leaking from his skull.

"What?" Sora gasped quietly, breathing the scent of paint and oil and chemicals as silver curtained the side of his face. He was watching him. Riku loomed over his shoulder, his sharp eyes lowered to his crotch. Watching him tentatively stroke himself through his pants.

Sora bit his lip cutely, his face reading the same kind of shame one might find in a teenager caught masturbating by his parents. He really was too damn adorable. Riku grinned, silently thankful that his childhood friend hadn't really grown up that much. "A year ago, you wouldn't even return my calls," He groaned mid-sentence, unwillingly rocking back into Sora's ass which had without warning squirmed against his hips again. "Now it's suddenly okay to show up on my doorstep...demanding sex again?"

"Never...demanded." Sora muttered uselessly, grunting softly as he was turned by Riku, his back hitting the edge of their canvas. Riku took his chin in his larger hand, his other cupping the prominence between his legs. Sora whimpered softly, frustrated by the lack of movement the other's body against his was allowing. Ineffectively thrusting into his palm like a dog in heat.

"No?" Riku's eyes were dangerous at this point, the thin lenses of his glasses only making them more severe in appearance. "'Fuck me, Riku. Fill me.'" Sora let out a gasping laugh, managing to roll his eyes out of annoyance rather than the pleasure of the long fingers massaging him through his jeans, of the gentle squeeze that made his stomach clench in anticipation and a short growl pass through his teeth.


It was a short distance to the bed; the one room studio apartment left the bedroom open to the living area, a luxury Riku found himself grateful for if only to get Sora into bed as soon as possible. Determined to keep the friction going, Sora very nearly climbed on Riku, wrapping his legs around his waist, lithely riding him while being supported by Riku's hands on his thighs. They spread for him easily, Riku observed with amusement but for Sora's sake kept the victorious smirk from his face.

Riku set him down on the sleep-mussed sheets he hadn't bothered to make up since he woke that morning, carefully kneading the surprisingly well-toned muscles of his abdomen, sliding his shirt up to his underarms. Admiring the tightening earth-colored nipples, Riku thumbed the left in slow, agonizing circles, experimenting with varying levels of pressure. One that made Sora hiss with pleasure, the other making him moan aloud and raise his hand to play with the right.

Riku watched him in awe for a few seconds, unable to believe that he had never realized how sexual Sora could be. Even in his fantasies, Riku hadn't been able to imagine Sora masturbating; it just didn't seem like something he was capable of.

"Ri-Riku," Caught in the moment, Sora's brilliant eyes fluttered closed, his lips parting with barely controlled breaths. His erection strained inside his jeans, begging for attention. "...Please.."

Riku grinned, giving his raised nipple another sharp pinch before sliding his hands lower, down his sides and up again. There were so many things he wanted to do to him. He still jumped like a virgin but Riku refused to believe that the untamed beauty underneath him had never known the touch of another man in the five years they've been apart. Though, selfishly, he wouldn't mind if that were true.

Deciding that it would be rude of him to torture his guest any further, Riku began to unbuckle his belt, petting his tight thigh with his free hand to coax his muscles to relax. Sora complied, his slender legs spreading wider to accommodate the taller body.

"Ngh-No, no," Sora grabbed his hands before he got his pants open, arching his hips up until they ground together. To his relief, Riku groaned and enthusiastically pushed back creating a more intense friction, completely forgetting what he was doing before. "Fuck...oh." Sora craned his neck and squeezed his eyes shut, gripping Riku's hips to control his movements.

Riku would be lying if he said he wasn't loving this. He had never seen Sora so aggressive before. Sure, he'd get aggressive in battle and the thousands of play-spars they had when they were kids but in the bedroom he'd always be so undemanding, pleased with anything Riku suggested.

Riku gripped Sora's upper arms firmly and laid back on the mattress, pulling Sora's smaller frame on top of his. Sora was bewildered by the sudden role-change, but one encouraging thrust of Riku's hips seemed to be enough persuasion.

Sora picked up the pace again, rocking forward in long, drawn out movements, running his entire length along the pulsing heat beneath him. He let out an ecstatic moan of pleasure as if this were the moment he'd been waiting for his whole life. "Yess...that's...good.." He smiled and laid his head back, grinning at the ceiling as he changed the speed again; short and shallow thrusts this time. His slender fingers gripped into the bottom of Riku's shirt like a lifeline.

"Sora," Riku gasped with an urgency, clutching the boy's hips firmly but not hard enough to control him. He was still letting Sora set his own pace but he had to admit the thought of just yanking his jeans down and impaling him was very tempting. "Sora, Sora,..." He panted mindlessly, his hair gluing itself to his forehead from the sweat. He rolled his eyes back and his jaw dropped, feeling that miraculous heat building up endlessly in his abdomen.

Hearing Sora's soft whines for release begin to near a peak, Riku ignored the protest he received earlier by unfastening the front of Sora's pants, taking the pulsing flesh in his hand and pumping it delicately. Sora groaned aloud, throwing his head back and clenching his teeth hard. He was close. Riku had experienced this moment so many times that he knew it instinctively. And if Sora's shameless moaning and frantic jerking were any indication, Riku predicted that it would only take a few skilled strokes to bring him to fruition.

Riku's cock twitched with impatience as if it were anticipating the other's release. Come. Come, Sora. Riku urged silently, biting his lip to keep from growling it at him. Come first. As the second thought crossed his mind, Sora gasped, making an almost pained sound as he shuddered violently from his orgasm.


Riku cursed under his breath, both the feeling of Sora's wet heat coating his fisted hand and Sora's ass clenching around his clothed erection that pushed him towards his own completion. He steadied his breathing a few moments after finishing, but it seemed to take Sora longer than that, like he couldn't make himself calm down.

"You alright, Sora?" he asked, just barely stopping himself from calling him 'Babe' or some other equally embarrassing bed name. Sora nodded, wilting tiredly against Riku's chest, completely spent.

"It's...been a while." Riku felt a inexplicable thrill at the admission, the possessive side of him roaring with triumph. 'Mine', it snarled, forcing the man's hands to rest on Sora's hips and stroke his sides affectionately. Mine MineMINE.

Sora turned his head, nuzzling his damp hair in the crook of Riku's neck. This was his favorite post-sex cuddle spot, Riku remembered, tilting his head to give him more room. He smelled oddly...natural, the man thought strangely enough. Like plants and soil and something heavily fragrant like perfume. Incense.

"So tired." Sora murmured, stretching lithely over Riku's larger frame before coiling up again. He raised his hips slightly and reached between his legs; for an insane second, Riku thought he was hard again, but he only tucked himself back in his pants and resumed his relaxed position on top of him.

Riku hummed in agreement, resting his chin on top of his head. He held onto Sora a little tighter than necessary, still trying to get over the initial shock of being able to actually hold him in his arms. Even now, especially now, Riku was feeling something inside of him crumble uselessly, never to be found again.

Self-respect, most likely.

"I was afraid you'd be gone already."

"Gone?" Riku questioned, petting cinnamon hair that he wasn't entirely sure how he felt about being so short. He looked more like an adult now, much less of the teenager he used to know.

"Can't you feel it? The darkness?" Sora muttered cryptically, his fingers walking distractedly across his friend's chest, over his heart. "It's like the world is tearing apart again."

The two shared a glance, reading each other from two totally different wavelengths, Sora silently distressed and Riku apprehensive. Sora dropped his eyes back to his hand, reassured by the powerful beating muscle under his palm. Riku's heart.

Riku watched him for a short time before realization dawned on him and he actually thought about what he just said. '..tearing apart again.' Was that today? Seven years ago, was this the day he had succumb to the darkness in his heart, the day their small existence had been ripped apart? It was hard to remember because, to Riku, it still felt it had happened to someone else.

"I'm not going anywhere, Sora. I promise." Riku immediately frowned at his own words, more specifically the last two. His promises had never meant much in the past, especially to Sora. The brunet didn't seem to be deterred by anything he said, still staring sullenly at the older man's paint stained t-shirt. Riku would've given anything to see his usual adorable smile, but unfortunately he didn't quite have the capacity for making goofy faces to cheer people up. All he could do was console him and try to sound as sincere as possible. But how he could be sincere about something he wasn't too sure about himself was a mystery.

"I was lost to the darkness once before, full of hate and resentment. But I let go of those feelings a long time ago. If there is any darkness left...anywhere, I'm not going with it." It felt strange, talking about it. They never talked about the past, mainly because it was a subject Riku wanted to forget. Sora looked less than convinced, but rather looked resigned to the fact that as long as he was here, lying on top of him, Riku couldn't go anywhere. Not without his knowledge.

Riku sighed, passively rubbing his russet-colored hair, ignoring the slight pinch of his blunt fingernails digging into his arm. "What did you mean...'like the world is tearing apart'?" He felt a tinge of annoyance that he battled down for Sora's sake. To him, it wasn't real, like a bad fucking dream, and the more Sora brought it up, the more pissed off it made him.

"Like before." Unconsciously flinching at the hollowness of his voice, Riku pulled the brunet closer with one arm. He wouldn't have admitted it at the time but that day, he had never been more afraid of anything in his life than watching his home being sucked into oblivion. And Sora. He had been so afraid for Sora, he nearly trembled at the thought. He very well could've been killed. They both could've.

"I've been watching the stars for the past two months," Sora explained, shrugging off Riku's arm so he could sit up. Riku was reluctant to let him go, feeling a paternal need to hold him close, to hide him from his dark thoughts. "I haven't slept in weeks. I'm driving myself crazy, but, I'm sure one went out last night."

"Sora..." Riku spoke, slowly propping himself up on his elbows to see his face more clearly. Now that Sora had brought it to light, it was obvious that he hadn't been sleeping. He looked exhausted. "That isn't possible."

Sora pouted cutely at his instant dismissal and Riku had to use great restraint not to smile. He was so effortlessly adorable. The brunet began to protest, crossing his arms firmly over his chest, defiant.

"I know what I saw." He argued, regaining some of his usual childish vigor that had become so well-known to the man he'd been friends with since they were toddlers.

"Do you?" Riku inquired, skeptical of just how lucid he could've been not having slept in weeks as he said.

"Yes." Sora retorted stubbornly. Seeing that he wasn't going to budge—as usual—Riku merely shrugged, throwing his legs over the side of the bed.

"If you say so." Riku stripped off his shirt and discarding it by the bed. Sora watched him apprehensively, hurt that he didn't believe him. "Sora," Riku reached for the younger man, coaxing him closer with his fingertips until he could draw him into a comfortable embrace against his bare chest. "Don't you think the King would've contacted us if something was wrong?"

It literally hurt to say it. Like telling your child there's a such thing as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, even when they're way past the cut-off for crap like that. That's exactly how the conversation felt, like telling him that it was still okay to be wrapped up in all the magic and bullshit.


"Would you fucking stop it? You're not a kid anymore, Sora!" They've had this argument to many damn times in the past, before Sora began to hate him. It might've been the fucking stepping stone to hate, who knows. "I can't play this stupid game anymore." Riku seethed, losing a bit of his momentum to weariness. "I can't."

Sora didn't comment, instead he looked neither hurt nor offended, just a misplaced confusion that made his silence more unbearable.

"Sora?" Riku cupped the brunet's face delicately in his hands, searching his radiant eyes with his own. He could practically see him thinking, his expressive blues gazing intently in front of him, but he didn't seem to be actually seeing anything. "Sorry." He apologized half-heartedly, determined not to take anything back. Far as he was concerned, he had no real fault here. "You get what I'm saying though, right?"

Nothing. Not even a blink.

Riku sighed, resigned to leaving him to his indecipherable thoughts. He placed a chaste kiss on the brunet's lips before settling down on his mattress and pulling the younger man to lie on top of him as he was before. "Try to get some sleep, Sora." He advised, petting his soft auburn hair soothingly.

Sora managed to close his eyes as the bedside lamp was turned off and though darkness dulled his vision, Riku could tell he wasn't sleeping, in fact he was doing the worst impression of someone pretending to sleep. Riku's hands continued to massage his scalp on autopilot until roughly an hour passed and he had fallen asleep himself, Sora's soft heartbeat becoming the constant bass line to his dreams.


My first multi-chapter! I'm excited about this one so I hope somebody enjoys it. I've already begun the second chapter so it shouldn't be long wait for an update. never know. -_-;

Feedback is my sustenance.

There. It's different. Not too different, but in my opinion, improved. I fixed the problem with the messed up point of view's and improved on the dialogue and other such mistakes.

Edited Apr 3, 2009

(Side note) This chapter was written to establish that this is a canon fic. However, Kingdom Hearts themes and elements are restricted to mere references. No world-hopping, no heartless. - bouncy