Author's Note: Thanks to all who have followed this story from when it was a mere one-shot to the beggining of this long fic. You guys, I love. For a more elaborate Author's Note, check at the end of the first chapter.
Title: The Truth About Heaven
Summary: What happens when soulmates can be trumped by something greater - choice? Can Jacob fight fate? Is Leah worth fighting for? Sometimes the person you least expect to care about is the one who can change everything. Renesmee Cullen should know. BLACKWATER.
Rated T, just in case. Oh and language. Leah swears a bit.
Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer. If I were I would not be writing fanfictions, I would be shopping for an endless supply of shoes. Hence, the owning of Twilight and its characters is NOT my occupation.
There was mud, everywhere.
Mud in her shoes, mud that had flicked upward from the back of Jacob's shoes and splattered on to her face, mud all over the cuffs of her new jeans.
Fabulous. Alice was going to kill her.
"Jacob?" Renesmee's voice echoed the forest. "Why are we here? It's cold and wet." And muddy. "I want to go home!"
He seemed to be his usual, relaxed self as he paced uneven ground, whistling an unfamiliar tune. Jacob was always happy.
"Shh." He waved his hand dismissively behind him as she followed his trail. "You need to hunt."
"But Jake!" She whined in protest. "Not today! I'm not wearing the right clothes! Besides, I can always eat human food." Even though "human food" tasted slightly dull to her taste buds, in well, comparison to blood. "You know that. And you haven't phased." Nessie sounded slightly smug as she said this and Jacob reminded himself that this shouldn't bother him.
"I will," he murmured as he ploughed on his journey, using large paces.
"But Jake." Renesmee stopped walking and folded her arms across her chest.
Jacob turned around to face her pouting expression and sighed. He always fell for her pout. He couldn't deny her of anything. He couldn't help it. Whenever he was around her, she was downright spoilt.
"Fine. Another time then." Any other of his friends would have given in to their imprints instantaneously. But not Jacob. Why was he so reluctant to be bossed around by her? Maybe it was self-degrading. And so what? He couldn't help it. Nothing could help him now.
They changed their direction, so that Renesmee was leading the way back to the house. Jacob sped up his pace, cheekily jabbed his hands into her hips and made her jump. Renesmee giggled nervously and hit his shoulder lightly. Jacob let his arm rest over her shoulders as they continued walking. Again he felt very calm and relaxed, whereas Renesmee didn't feel so comfortable. The action was just playful, wasn't it?
Renesmee often questioned her relationship with Jacob. Since she was indeed his imprint, (the concept had been explained by her parents when she was "mature enough") she was strangely drawn to him in an unnatural way. It wasn't as though she felt uncomfortable about this arrangement. But she understood why it was, in the past, a controversial issue among her family, now that she looked back on the situation from an adult point of view. It was like he had signed some invisible contract that he should remain attached to her, for life. And he seemed to be perfectly at ease about this. Strange…but sweet, in a deranged sort of way. She couldn't help but love Jacob... but she wasn't quite sure how she was supposed to love him. That fact pestered her to no end.
However, Jacob hadn't exactly signed up for this whole imprinting to-do. If he had a choice he definitely would have chosen otherwise. He was the only one out of any of his pack friends that ever doubted imprinting. He knew this because he could read all the wonderful, soppy, in some cases romantic, overly blissful thoughts from the other pack members. Their thoughts were stubbornly positive and enthusiastic.
Jacob was different. He had always been different from the other Quileute boys. He did see the down sides to imprinting, like how he never really had a choice. The unnatural love and adoration was just forced on him and he couldn't think clearly when he was around her. He sometimes considered whether he would be better off with out imprinting. But then he reconsidered. Of course imprinting was for him. It had to be. Right? It was for everyone. It was fate, after all. He couldn't fight fate, could he?
Eventually, Renesmee's small cottage appeared subtly out of the greenery and her parents moved gracefully from the porch to greet them both. Bella opened up her arms and Renesmee ran up to her mother like a kindergarten child would at end of the first day of school.
"Hey!" Renesmee hugged her mother, who looked about the same age as Renesmee did, as tight as possible. Edward stood beside her and stroked her hair. Bella glanced up at Jacob. "Heya Jake!" She smiled at him but was instantly drawn back to Renesmee again.
"Jacob," Edward looked up and greeted him sternly.
"Bloodsu- Edward." Jacob corrected himself. Just an automatic reaction, Jacob thought. Sometimes his mind-reading skills came in handy. Very rarely though. Most of the time it was just plain annoying.
Jacob watched the happy family exchange actions of affection with each other and he suddenly felt rejected. Why hadn't his Nessie greeted him with that much enthusiasm?
"Did you have fun with Jake today, hon?" Bella grabbed Nessie by the shoulders and looked her daughter in the eyes, beaming.
"Umm," Renesmee's gaze fell to the ground. "Sure, it was fun, I guess." She forced an unconvincing smile at her mother. "So anyway," she changed the subject. "I'm feeling kind of tired." Her false yawn was the icing on the cake. "I think I might head off to bed."
"Oh," Bella was surprised. "Don't you want Jacob to come in for a while?" She looked at Jacob. "Jake?"
"Not if Nessie's tired." He gave into her again. "I'd better be heading off home anyway. It's kind of late."
"Good idea," Edward interjected. "I mean, you wouldn't want to keep your family waiting, Jacob."
"Yeah," Jacob glared at him. "Whatever." As if Billy cared anymore.
"Well, bye Jake!" Bella's voice sounded enthusiastic compared to Nessie's greeting, if you could call it that. It was only once Jacob had stopped obsessing over Bella, that he had realised how oblivious she was to everything. Did she really think Jacob had held her hand all those times because it "felt nice"? Not that it mattered anymore. He had Nessie now.
"Bye.." Renesmee mumbled as she waved a hand and went inside.
"See you," Jacob replied to a slamming door.
Bella shot him an apologetic look. "Sorry, I'm sure she's just tired." Edward didn't say anything but stood stiffly beside his wife. Jacob hated that word. Wife. He still had trouble accepting their marriage, even after all these years. Mostly because Bella deserved better, or so he had thought.
"Sure, sure," his smile was weak. "Bye Bells." He grudgingly tagged on the end, "Edward."
"Mu- I mean Jacob." Edward shot him a dark grin. Nice come back, leech, Jacob thought at him.
Jacob made himself scarce and disappeared into the trees. He picked up his pace. He was sprinting as fast as his human legs could carry him. That was when the endless list of questions racked his brain.
What happened? Why was she so hostile towards him? Was it even possible for the imprintee to not like the imprinter? Were imprinter and imprintee even real words? Of course not. Technically the whole concept of imprinting shouldn't even exist. Jacob started to grow less fond of the concept once she was out of his sight. But surely, after all those years of protecting Nessie, he would receive some kind of love in return? After waiting for so long…
The amount of fury growing inside him was too much for a normal, human body. His chest exploded, the human hairs on his body grew and the smouldering heat took over his body. He was an animal, a wolf. Or as he was not so recently told, about six years ago, he was in fact a "shape-shifter". What ever that meant.
He listened for a moment. He could hear only silence and his own thoughts and he sighed in relief, if a wolf could sigh. He slowed down to a jog, and then to a walk, then just collapsed on a patch of grass. Everything was quiet and peaceful…too quiet.
So what? You meditate now, Black? A whiny voice interrupted his serene thoughts.
Leah. The last person he wanted to see…or hear. Jacob could recognise her voice any day. She was his Beta after all. He sometimes considered whether he had taken any drugs when he had made that decision.
Wow, I'm glad you're in such high spirits to see me! Enthusiasm like that could make a girl swoon any day. He didn't miss the sarcasm. By the way, you really need to see a professional if you're a stoner, Jake. Haven't you heard? Drugs are bad!
Go away Leah. It was times like this when he was glad to be Alpha, but to his disappointment he soon remembered Leah was his second in command. Harder to over rule. I don't feel like dealing with your shit right now.
Is that an order, oh so mightiest Alpha? Leah knew it annoyed him to no end when she called him her latest favourite nickname. It was a little mind game she enjoyed playing. She loved to irritate people in general. It was just something she was good at. Although, she hadn't always been bitter. Since she had been Jacob's Beta that side of her had diminished slightly. Maybe not having to listen to her ex boyfriend, Sam's nauseatingly romantic thoughts about her cousin who he imprinted on all day just might be a part of it.
Sure, I order you to not transform into a giant wolf. His voice dripped with sarcasm.
I think you mean 'shapeshifter' silly! Remember Le Italiano bloodsucker? Well of course you do. You just love them leeches, right? Since you imprinted on one.
Nessie is not a leech. She's human.
Oh yeah, Jacob felt a heated argument coming on. You mean the one Edward impregnated Bella with? You know how babies are made. Right Jakey? Cause you know that means he would have had to fu-
Shut it Leah! The idea of how Nessie was conceived still disgusted Jacob. It would disgust anyone who was in their right mind. And he hated it how if they hadn't conceived she would even be alive. Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget. A concept he had become very familiar with over the years.
What? Leah's voice sounded mockingly innocent. I'm just saying! I mean, doing it with Edward it would be like shoving an ice cube up your…
Okay. That's it. Conversation is OVER. But Leah, being Leah, continued to taunt Jacob with images of Edward from her wild, disturbing imagination. He thought it was best to distract her. Hey! Where are you anyway?
Behind you. Leah barked in his ear and made him jump. He turned around to see a giant, grey wolf laughing, which sounded like a strange, distorted bark. Gotcha!
Real mature, Leah.
Oh I'm terribly sorry! Leah hung her head in mock-shame. She then bark-laughed again and trotted around in circles. Is scaring your oh so mightiest alpha like, offence number two hundred and thirty-six in the Alpha Book of Rules: For Dummies?
You're so lame. Worst part is you won't SHUT UP.
Ooh, touchy! What's up your ass?
Nothing. Leah saw all the images of a very grumpy Loch Ness Monster in his head. She hardly pitied her. "Nessie" was a spoilt little brat in Leah's opinion. Everything in her life was just handed to her on a plate, probably a golden plate – family, friends, a boyfriend (if you could call it that), education, money. Yet the little angel wasn't satisfied? Well boo fucking hoo, Leah thought to herself.
I don't need your opinion, Leah.
Well too bad. It's just the truth, Jake. She's a brat! And it doesn't help the situation when you're shadowing her every moment of the day like some stalker. And I believe there's a word starting with 'P' that could describe your relationship with the spawn…
It's not like that! Jacob realised how true those words were. At the moment, even at Nessie's mature age, he still didn't feel inclined to progress their relationship in a romantic way.
Whatever you tell yourself to help you sleep at night… Jacob rolled his eyes. Besides, if she says 'jump', you say 'how high?'.
And it's not like she needs you. She's got Daddy Dracula and the Leech Lover recently promoted to Leech Loving Leech, to turn to when things suck… get it suck? Cause they're leeches! Geez, I'm funny, huh?
Shut the hell up, Leah!
It's true though. Isn't it? Your a friggin' love zombie! And you said you'd never be like any of them, yet the little monster has you wrapped around her finger. Honestly, you sicken me. When Leah said "them" Jacob knew she was talking mostly about Sam and it really bugged Jacob when he was compared to Sam. He wasn't Sam. He would never want to be like Sam.
Right. Jake's voice sounded bitter in his own mind. So you stalking Sam and Emily's house all the time isn't at all sick or deranged in any kind of way? And yeah I have seen you by the way. But seriously Leah, they're starting a family now. Just leave them alone. He doesn't love you anymore! How many years will it take you to realise that?
He knew how much his words would cut Leah, deeply too. He could sense Leah's anger and fury. He had pushed her one bitter retort too far. Well good riddance to her. She was irritating him anyway.
Screw you, Jacob. Oh, I mean… Screw you oh so fucked up alpha! With that she phased and left him alone to dwell in his dissatisfied leftovers of that afternoon.
He lay down in the grass as what he had just said to Leah replayed in his mind. He admitted it was pretty sad how Leah still had feelings for Sam. By now, even Sam had recovered from the break-up. For god's sake he was married to Emily.
A part of Jacob, an extremely minuscule part, kind of felt sorry for Leah. She did bring the unhappiness on herself, yet she couldn't see it. What made him feel even uneasier was that he might be facing unrequited love for himself. But how was that even possible? Nessie was his imprint. It was impossible for her to not return the same feelings. Impossible.
But how well Jacob knew that the idea of impossible had never stopped anyone before.
The door slammed behind her and she slid down the stationary plank of wood until she hit the floor with a thud. Renesmee groaned as she listened to the rest of her parents' conversation with Jacob. Politely lying for her. Just tired. Nice one Bella. She felt slightly mean for acting so cold around Jake. But then the feeling of guilt passed when she remembered why she was so annoyed at him. Annoyed, not the right word. Too light-hearted. She was angry.
So because she was angry she rose rapidly from her head-between-knees position and stomped up a short set of stairs, down the tiny corridor and straight to her room.
The squeaking sound the door made as she swung it shut annoyed her, the creaking sound of the floorboards beneath her feet annoyed her, the hitting-of-her-head-against-her-too-large-bedhead-for-the-thousandnth-time-as-she-collapsed-on-it annoyed her. No. Not annoyed. Angered. Aggravated. Infuriated.
"Braaghrrrr!" was the kind of sound that uttered from her mouth after these events. She rolled from lying on her chest to lying on her back, so she was staring up at her ridiculously white ceiling. The fact that her house looked like a cottage that Snow White would materialise out of every morning angered her. She wasn't Snow White. She didn't want to be Snow White. And Jacob definitely wasn't her Prince Charming. Since when did Prince Charming only wear a pair of disgusting, torn, ratty jeans?
Renesmee just wanted to be normal. Luckily for her, she was far from it.
So the hitting her head on her bedhead for the thousandth time annoyed her? The squeaky floorboards? The fairytale cottage? None of them compared to how much something else infuriated her.
Nessie the Loch Ness Monster. What a lovely anecdote? Wrong!
Renesmee was Renesmee, at least she agreed with her mother about that. Her name was a very sensitive issue. Since when was she "Nessie"? Okay! So, since birth, but did Renesmee have a choice about this? Oh no! Because ever since birth Jacob had claimed her as his own, therefore branding her with the hideous "Nessie" nickname.
Well, in her dignified opinion, she was Renesmee. End of story.
Unlikely that she would ever let Jacob in on her disapproving thoughts about her name, though. She was definitely not painting that picture in his mind.
That was another thing. So, sure, she thought it was pretty cool how she could show people images from her mind by simply pressing her palm against another person's face, but now she found it was just simply irritating. Why, you ask? Now that Renesmee was older, about five years to be approximate, her power had advanced as well. This meant that she could project her thoughts without even using physical contact. The problem being that she hadn't exactly mastered this technique yet. So sometimes her thoughts decided to project themselves for the world to see! How tremendously wonderful and non-private! Luckily she wasn't thinking about sex or anything around her family. Not that she would…
As if on queue, her mother burst into her room, no knocking or anything, because obviously little "Nessie" was still a child. A child with breasts and an IQ of 150.
"Hey honey?" her mother's teenage-sounding voice breezed into her bedroom.
"Yeah Bella?" Renesmee had gotten into the habit of calling her parents Edward and Bella. She felt stupid calling another teenager a mom, even though she was. Of course at sentimental moments, the "Mom" or "Mommy" word often slipped out.
"Your father and I are going out hunting tonight." She lingered in the small doorway. How could her mother survive a hunting trip in that tiny dress she was wearing? At least it was red so the blood wouldn't show. "We'll only be gone a little while. Will you be okay on your own, hon?"
Renesmee forced a grin. "Yeah, sure. I'll just be sleeping anyway. I'm zombie-tired."
"Okay, sweetie." Her mother didn't look convinced. Why did she have to have such over-protective parents? They were also pretty amazing, she tentatively thought. It wasn't every day when your parents were vampires. Well, it was for her.
"Just call Edward on his cell if you need anything. Or just go into the house." By "the house" Bella meant the Cullen mansion, a place Renesmee preferred to the fairytale cottage. She supposed the cottage was kind of nice, in a cosy sort of way.
"Sure, sure," Renesmee replied without thinking. Damn, she cursed herself for repeating Jacob's annoying catchphrase. Oops. His aggravating catchphrase.
Bella laughed, recognising the choice of words. "Okay. Sleep tight." Bella took two steps to kiss Renesmee on the cheek and then gracefully ducked out of her room, closing the door silently behind her.
Finally Renesmee was alone with her thoughts. She laughed as she stared out at the full moon that appeared as if it was right outside her window, as if she could reach out and touch it. When she moved her hand in front of her face the moon became unfocused.
She laughed because she thought it ironic how Jacob was a werewolf and was most likely in the form of one right now. She knew he didn't change into one according to the moon cycle, after all he was a "shapeshifter" not a "child of the moon", and she knew it wasn't that funny. But none the less, she laughed. She then thought about how there had always been an old rumour about how strangest of beings came out to play at a full moon. Now that was funny, she thought to herself.
Renesmee trialled through a sequence of tossing and turning when she came to a conclusion that she might as well have been hyped up on a ton of coffee, she was that wide awake. Did caffeine even work on half-vampires?
On that note, she swung her legs over her bed and as her feet hit the floor she found herself wondering towards her open window. She rested her arms on the cool stone ledge and gazed out at the stars.
To her dismay, she really felt like a princess at that moment. More like Juliet, really. She had memorized Romeo and Juliet, her mother's favourite Shakespeare play, at the age of two. She was a fast learner as well as a fast reader, which was probably a good thing because she aged fast too. At five years she was physically almost mature, maybe sixteen, seventeen.
Her thoughts led back to Shakespeare's tragic love story. She could hardly compare herself to Juliet… or could she?
She hadn't found her Romeo yet, but she sure had found her Paris. She did love him, but only as a brother, a friend possibly. He was a threat, sort of; a threat to her, not her family. She wasn't scared of him. She did feel safe when he was around her. She felt safe, but somehow not completely fulfilled. The exception being that his family is feuding with her family, not the opposite. She didn't like the sound of that, so she kept her wishing for her very own Romeo.
She started fantasizing about what he would look like, what his voice would sound like. She decided he would be an outcast, just like her. One of a kind, but again, the same as her. He would be exotic and from a place faraway. His voice would sound like velvet. He would love her in a normal way, in that lustful, erratic way that teenagers fall in love. He would be perfect in her eyes.
She sighed, and then she asked aloud to the night sky, "Where for art thou Romeo?"
Of course Renesmee knew this actually meant, "Why are you Romeo?" And she hated it when anyone (often Emmett) mistaked it for meaning "Where are you Romeo?" instead. But it was close enough for what she had meant at that point in time so she didn't care.
"Shall I hear more?" an exotic voice filled the night air, interrupting her thoughts.
Renesmee gasped and scanned the tall, pine trees surrounding her house, frantically. She leaned out of her window ever so slightly just to see the back of someone's body before they swiftly escaped out of view, into the trees. She thought the figure had dark hair, although she couldn't tell in the semi-darkness.
Her heart was racing. Was she hearing voices? No, she wasn't that far gone. For god's sake, she wasn't crazy at all!
"Wait!" she yelled out but no one answered.
Who was that? Was it a man? It sure sounded like one. His voice had a Spanish or Italian tint to it. Or did she just imagine that?
She looked around the surroundings one more time and was disappointed. She thought about climbing out of her window, but she felt silly when she could just use the front door.
Renesmee knew, in the back of her mind, she had seriously considered that her real-life Romeo had answered her prayers. And she thought she was supposed to be smart.
Should she go looking for this mystery being? What if he was dangerous? What if he was a vampire? He sounded Italian so…
Renesmee shivered when her train of thoughts progressed into a terrifying idea.
What if it was a… Volturi member?
Without delay, she shut the window violently causing the glass to shake. She drew the curtains with just as much rapid movement and jumped on to her bed, burying her head under her covers.
The minutes felt like hours as she awaited her parents' return.
She still shivered under her blankets as she considered ways of escaping this unwanted visitor. She could make a run for it; the house was only a short walk up the track. But the pleasant walk would seem long and gruelling in her state of mind. She considered hunting down a baseball bat. Oh yeah, because a vampire is just terrified of a baseball bat, Renesmee thought to herself. But she was too scared to laugh at herself.
Renesmee knew that any sign of the Volturi wasn't a great thing. Her mother and father had often warned her that if she were to see them, she would immediately go to Carlisle. But she had been too scared at that moment to run anywhere. Her parents wouldn't say why, but she knew the Volturi were bad news. She could still remember crystal clear, the night the Cullens and wolves spent in the meadow five years ago. The image of the trio of vampires, all wearing dark cloaks still gave her goosebumps.
She decided to hide under her covers and hope for the best. She felt like a child now, that was for sure.
It was only when Edward came into her room to kiss her once on her forehead, that she felt at ease.
He left her room and shut the door inaudibly behind him.
Only then could she finally close her eyes and attempted to lose herself to sleep.
The next minute Renesmee's eyes flew open. She lay on her back and rested her head on her arms that were tucked behind her neck. Her ridiculously white ceiling was in fact still there, staring back at her, appearing even more impossibly white, thanks to the full moon.
She was back at square one.
A/N: And that's the first time I have ever written a proper introduction to a story before. For the sake of it, I hope y'all appreciated it. So if you have any questions about the story please ask them through a review and I promise that I will reply. I don't really have much to say (for once). Oh wait! I found something to say. This is the first time I have used third person in a long-fic. Does it work for you? Please tell me if it should be first person, although honestly I don't really feel like changing everything from "She" to "I". But I will if lots of people review saying I should. Oh and I'm sorry for returning to the old "Romeo and Juliet" reference yet again. If you have read "Paris" (A one-shot I wrote... personally I don't think it's very good) I'm sure you are probably well sick of it by now. I apologise. I just think this story really relates to that often mentioned play.
Also, those Blackwater obsessed readers, do hang in there. There will be more Leah/Jacob moments to come, but I wanted to establish the complication to the story first and understand a little bit about Nessie's (oops, I mean Renesmee's) character. I do want to include a lot about Leah in this too. I sort of want Leah and Jacob to be the main focus of the story, but there is all the stuff happening to Nessie which is a key role in plot development (is that the right word?)
Oh and don't forget about those ol' reviews. I love them!