Author's Note:
This story takes place in the year that Zim was stuck inside his house while GIR was the house's new brain. Yep, the "Invasion of the Idiot Dog Brain" episode. This story will hopefully provide some background to my other, bigger IZ fanfic for later plot developments…

And hopefully, entertain you. Skoodge needs more stories in which he's a very prominent character!

Enjoy…and review by all means!


INVADER SKOODGE


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...PROLOGUE

"A little more…little MORE…there! Perfect!"

A fat, tubby little being. Green skin made up of tiny little scales…antennae made up of little hairs with the tiniest of nerves running through them….this was a member of the Irken race, a strangely half insect, half reptile sort of thing that was ordering around ANOTHER race to set up for a party!

Strange, huh?

Invader Skoodge whistled and the purplish freaky rat beings that were the Blorchian Slaughtering Rat People nodded, lining up. "That's enough for now, you can go back to your pens."

The rat creatures all nodded, then scampered away as Skoodge looked around at what he'd set his newly-conquered people to work on. He was quite proud…it was an enormous, round building that had many columns around it. The columns AND the neat designs on them had been personally carved by the fangs of the Slaughtering Rat People that Skoodge had enslaved to do his bidding and he was VERY proud of the hallways…all of them had paintings he'd made in them. Yes, paintings. He had gotten bored after taking over Blorch a few months after developing a special strain of virus and had taken up a hobby.

Now he was set to welcome company into the hall. He stroked the walls of the main hall as light fixtures swung back and forth in the air, gently, softly, like cradles. "So do you think this shade of blue is good, Felix?" He asked his good friend's "personal assistant."

Felix was a perfectly rounded being. No "edges" on his body at all…his fingers and toes were like sausages, his nose was a little dumpling, his hair curly. He looked very…cartoony, to tell the truth. Four fingers on each hand and all of them were adjusting a banner over the entranceway.

"Yes, it's good." He said. "I think. Uh, do YOU think it's…nevermind." He shook his head rapidly. He had a tendency of asking his master a question regarding something that required sight, then realizing his master was blind, then saying "nevermind" and quickly shaking his head.

Invader Darth sighed and sat back in his chair, clasping his black and gloved claws together. He wore no clothing on his arms or legs, it helped him "feel" the air around him. He was HIGHLY sensitive when it came to the other senses, but blind as a bat due to a physical flaw in programming. Tallest Miyuki's kindness had protected him from Tallest Spork's malevolence at one time and he owed his life to her.

He had been planning on going to Earth to exterminate the one he was sure killed her…an Irken named ZIM…but he and Felix had stopped by to see Skoodge about 9 months ago and had been happy to discover that Skoodge had developed a strange virus that essentially ate through the brain of the Slaughtering Rat People of Blorch, making them his slaves. He'd taken over the planet quickly and had invited his fellow Invaders of "Operation Impending Doom II" to Blorch for a party!

ALL Irkens loved parties, you see! They also had to obey anybody who was taller than them. At one point being tall meant being IMPOSING, so the Irken race had been ruled out of fear. Then one day one of the Tallest had gotten SMART and had decided "Hey, sooner or later the smaller Irkens will realize that they outnumber us, even if we ARE bigger than them. Let's preprogram them so that they gotta listen to anyone taller than them!"

And so, now Irkens had to listen to those taller than them. Preconditioning that formed predispositions. Cleverly devious…and a TOTALLY original Irken idea. One of few. Most of their OTHER technology had been ripped off of other worlds that had been conquered or visited. You could count the number of "original Irken ideas" on both your hands.

And one by one they arrived. Skoodge smiled as he shook the lovely female Irken Invader Zee's hand…she had light purple eyes and like all females, curled antennae. Interestingly, Darth had curled antennae too…Skoodge suspected he had been a failed female, which TECHINCALLY made him somewhat of a-

"Heyyyy!"

Skoodge grinned at the sight of Invader Tenn. He was ALWAYS glad to see her. She was like a sister to him! He hugged her and then stepped back, shaking her hand vividly. "Tenn, how ARE you?" He asked the maroon-eyed beauty.

"Oh, I'm still waiting for some supplies. A few SIR units would be nice on Meekrob." Tenn admitted. "Just a couple would make all the difference!"

"Ohhh! OHHHHH!"

They all turned and blinked at the sight of Invader Stink and Invader Spleen were carrying in another Invader, pushing Flobee and Slacks to the side. Darth, who was close by, heard the cries of the Irken in distress and approached.

"What's wrong?" He asked, concerned. "What's your problem?"

The Invader looked up, grinning, then the others let go of him as he held Darth's face. "YOU'RE my problem. I think I love you!" He laughed.

Darth blinked, then grinned and grabbed THIS Invader's face. "LARB!"

"DARTH!"

The two hugged each other deeply. "I haven't seen you since the ACADEMY!" Larb laughed. "I've MISSED you, man!"

Skoodge smiled as Darth and Larb headed towards the snack table, with Darth almost bumping into it until Felix quickly nudged him in the back, reminding him of where everything was in the room. Larb and Darth had sat next to each other for 30 years in the academy and had undergone hundreds of simulations and classes together. They were close buddies.

"Everyone, welcome to the party!" Skoodge said, holding up a large glass of soda. "First of all, how have you all been doing on YOUR worlds?"

"Swimmingly for the most part!"

"Kinda…not good."

"I'm stuck."

"Alright, I guess…half of it's in flames."

"I OWN the world. Well, MOST of it."

Skoodge listened to them all talk about how they were doing in their worlds as the Invader's SIR units served them punch and whatnot, but his vision wandered over to Darth, who was slowly sipping on a cup, and even though he could not SEE, there was a look in his unseeing, white eyes that told Skoodge that the taller Irken KNEW something was different about Skoodge, that something had changed.

"So what about YOU, Skoodge?" They all inquired. "How'd YOU conquer your planet so quickly?"

"Yeah, I've still got to deal with these dumb resistance groups." Larb admitted, shrugging.

"And I can't go to the Tallest and claim "Mission Succeeded" until all of my people can line up and spell out "Tallest Rule". Half of them can't even SPELL Tallest."

"Say, wait…" Invader Tenn spoke up. "I have yet to get any and everyone else is keeping theirsin the ships, but…where's your SIR unit, Skoodge?" She frowned slightly. "And Darth's?"

"I never got one." Darth said. "Don't need one, since I have Felix here." He said, gesturing towards Felix, who always stood to Darth's right side whenever somebody asked Darth that exact question. This way Darth didn't even have to think, he just spat out that line and gestured to the right where Felix always would stand. "But to tell the truth, I know what happened to his SIR unit. However it's a tale SKOODGE should tell you about. Skoodge, if you could?"

Skoodge sighed and sat down in a chair, placing his clawed hands on his knees and looking up at the ceiling as the light fixture came to a stop directly over him, no longer gently swinging. "Well…" He began. "It started after Darth had come by this planet for the first time to assist me with a little something. I had no idea he'd come back a few months later but I was glad he did, because it was one of the most trying times I've ever endured. You wouldn't BELIEVE what happened…"

… "So many Irkens…and all in one place!"

Stepping away from a scanner monitor, the no-nosed being rubbed his hands together as he sat in the dark confines of his personal spaceship, his square, black hair brushed back neatly, his glasses glinting. "They'd better be on the ball!" He snapped his fingers and a display monitor hovered over to him. "Computer, how close are we to the planet?" He asked. "Is it really going to take 3 hours?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so, sir."

"Did I remember to pack any movies?"

"…no sir."

"…UGH…" He groaned and slapped his face, his glasses bouncing up slightly. "Fine, fine…I'll just take a nap." He headed over to a large, dark-blue chair with a control console built into the armrests and leaned back in it as he looked up at the ceiling of the main deck. "This had better be worth it…"