A/N: Uh…Yeah. I am so sorry, Robin. I started this before I left…And then…Oh my god. You're lucky that I'm even alive to finish this lol. Cody pretty much stabbed the ol' knife in my back and twisted it around a bit, but in a good way…especially after he and my dad got into it from the crowd. Ahh…
Being in the musical business was kind of like being straightedge. Change your style of music, break edge, and you are changed forever. You can never go back to how you used to be, no matter how hard you try.
You either are or you never were. Black and white, no grey areas.
And it's the same way with people who live double lives. And it's only fitting that those people should attract each other. The only person who can truly understand another one's pain is someone who either went through or is going through the same thing.
Unless one of the two is living a double life that is the exact duplicate of their real one.
Rynne was used to the screaming fans. She was the drummer for the band F4, touring the country and punching photographers on her way. Even if she was labeled as "angry," she was still a peaceful person at heart. She never willingly did anything to directly put herself or anybody else in danger. And face it, that photographer was just out of line.
But then there was the real life person, Robin Leigh. She was raised on strong values, and her parents frowned upon the rock star lifestyle. They worried about her. No, they didn't think that their daughter would run off and get impregnated by an NBA Superstar or anything, but she was such a good girl growing up. She assured her parents that she would stay with her straightedge beliefs. And she had.
And then she also had him, CM Punk. She met him when he was backstage at one of her shows. F4 was opening for Rancid, one of Punk's favorite bands. He was standing right where the bands would enter and exit the stage, and she accidentally bumped into him when she was hurriedly leaving, trying to catch up with her band mates.
For once, Robin was happy that the drummers were usually the last one off the stage.
And her parents loved Punk, no doubt. He had morals just like their daughter. They might not have enjoyed his career path, either, but they trusted their daughter's judgment.
A relationship cannot be perfect without flaws.
As energetic as Rynne was, Robin became tired. Not only did she have to deal with her own demanding schedule, but Punk's as well. Even if you aren't the one driving the tour bus, you're the one driving the rental cars around the country to see your significant other at every possible opportunity. Traveling drains your mind, body, and soul.
She just wasn't feeling it anymore.
"Come on, Robs. Let's go…see a movie or something," CM Punk offered. It was one of those brief moments in the middle of the week when they could actually be together. They usually went out and did something, but instead, Robin was curled up into a ball on the hotel room bed.
"No thanks, Phil," she muttered, holding her legs to her chest even tighter.
"Phil?" Now he knew that something was wrong; seriously wrong. She knew more than anybody that he hated his birth name and preferred to be called "Punk." She only called him Phil when she was joking.
There was no way in hell that she was joking this time.
He stood in silence as he watched her lay there, as still as a stone. He was more uncomfortable with his emotions than the fact that he was still in the sweaty clothes he had just worked out in.
Punk walked over to the bed, sitting down next to his hurting girlfriend. "Robin, what's wrong?"
"Don't call me that. Don't call me Robin."
"But that's your name…" Punk sighed, rubbing calming circles on her back.
"I don't want to be Robin anymore."
"What? Why not?" Punk asked, shying away from his girlfriend. He loved Robin. How could she not want to be her anymore?
"I hate Robin. I want to be Rynne. She's happy," she said, rolling over so she was no longer facing her boyfriend.
"You can't do that. Rynne is cool, but…"
"But what? Don't you want me to be happy? I'd be happy if I was Rynne twenty-four seven. You're CM Punk all the time. I don't even know who Phil is," Robin ranted, sharply kicking her legs back at Punk when she felt him inch closer to her.
"But I am CM Punk. You knew that going into this. I am the same person on television and off television. Please, Robin, just don't kill yourself off like that. Don't become somebody else. You cannot kill what you did not create, okay? Please…for me," Punk pleaded.
"Why? Why should I? You know what the sad thing is, Phil? The sad thing is that when I'm Rynne, I'm around all the drugs and alcohol and the partying, but I'm never tempted. Never. Not once. But when I'm Robin and I'm away from everything…it makes me want to break edge even more."
"But you didn't. And I don't love Rynne. I love Robin. If you drop Robin and continue life as Rynne…then CM Punk will go, too. I asked out Robin, not Rynne. I want a girlfriend, not a rock star."
"And I want a boyfriend who is going to support me, not a wrestler who dates Playboy Bunnies."
Punk flinched at the cheap shot that Robin gave him. "That's not fair and you know it."
"All if fair in love and war, Phil."
"Yeah, and right now, this is neither. We are not at war, and you aren't the girl I fell in love with. If you're going to walk out on me like this," Punk said, getting up off the bed and heading for the door, "then I am going to walk out on you like that, too."
Robin sat up. She didn't think he would go this far. He was always supportive of her; no matter how much he didn't like her being gone for so long or whatever else she did.
But this was crossing the line. He didn't want her to change. No girl should ever have to change who she is, even if it is just to make themselves happy. They should learn to love themselves for who they are and be happy just the way they were intended to be.
Drumsticks and world tours notwithstanding.
"Come back, Phil…"
"Phil doesn't exist, just like how you don't want Robin to. I'll come back when Robin does." He exited the hotel room, ending their already all too brief time together.
Robin sat alone in the darkness, save for the dim lamp on the nightstand. She reached over and grabbed her cell phone, dialing one of her best friends and fellow band mate, Missy.
"Missy, it's Ry—It's Robin. I, uh…I don't think I'm going to make it to the party tomorrow night. I think I'm going to spend some time with Punk."
On the other side of the door, Punk smiled with his ear pressed against the door. He had overheard Robin's phone conversation. He pulled his keycard out of his pocket and opened the door, causing Robin to jump in surprise.
A/N: I am so, so sorry, Robin.