Here it is: Chapter 2, Practical Approach. Sorry it took so long, but you'll find that it is a lot longer. Not sure yet if there will be more chapters this long yet. I really hope you guys like it, I worked pretty darn hard on it. I'll warn you first though, Bella gets a little weird in this chapter, a lot weird actually. It might creep you out some too. That's what I was going for. So if you start to get weirded out, please just keep reading. She changes back to regular Bella in the next chapter.

Before you get into the story, though, I have one thing to say. I've checked my stats, and I saw that a lot of people have read 'A Capella Luctuoso' since I first submitted it, and you don't know how happy that makes me. Some of those people even favorited it, or put it on a story alert list. That makes me feel really honored. Now, I hate to stick a but on the end, so I'll start a whole new sentence. But come on, guys. It's really not that hard for you to review. It's actually really easy! All you have to do is tell me what you like about the story, or what you don't like. That's it. My baby cousin does that all the time and he's four. So, I know you guys can handle it. You know who you are, so I won't take up your time by listing off a bunch of names when you could be reading the second chapter. Just please remember what I said, okay? Thank you!

Summary: Edward left Bella during New Moon and her way of coping with the loss causes her to be hated by everyone in Forks, including herself. All she wants is to be with Edward again, but would he even want to look at her after everything she's done?

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters in it.

A Capella Luctuoso

Practical Approach

It's been a few days since my break-up with Ben. I'm not sure how many; I don't keep track of time so well anymore. I did something drastic last night after Charlie fell asleep, so it figured that today would be a day when he wasn't gone when I woke up. I spent as much time as I could in the bathroom, but he was still there by the time I came downstairs to go to school. It was annoying, but I had to face him sooner or later. Hmm… let me see… Later. So I walked hurriedly through the kitchen, talking as fast as I could.

"Hey Dad, I need to get to school early today, so I'm going to grab something to eat on the way. Bye!" Of course, I wasn't fast enough, and I got a good look at his horrified face before I reached the doorway. I ran to my truck, jumped in and drove off, not bothering to buckle my seatbelt until I was two blocks away. I would definitely get an earful tonight, but for now, I just had to face school. Man, I wished I could just go back and face Charlie.


It wasn't nearly as bad as I'd thought. Sure all eyes were on me, just like the first day of school last year, but at least people knew better than to try and talk to me now. By second period, the staring was getting annoying. Even the teachers wasted a few minutes of class gaping at me. But it was okay. I could handle them alright, nothing really unbearable. Knowing my luck, I should've known it wouldn't last.

Jessica (Lauren was partly to blame to, but she didn't participate much.) was what picked me up and chucked me over the edge. I was just sitting at my desk, doodling in my notebook, when her annoyingly high-pitched voice squealed out. "OH! MY! GOD!"

I had to turn. I already knew what she was freaking out about, but I just had to check. My eyes locked on her, the spitting image of Munch's The Scream, looking right at me. Her stupid expression and Lauren's ditzy laughter, combined with the mounting agitation from my other classmates had unlocked my wrath. Suffering was unleashed on all.

"What!? What the hell is wrong with you? What, this? Never seen anyone dye their hair before? Look in the damn mirror, or did your roots just naturally turn brown?"

A bit of color flared up in her cheeks, but whether it was because of the embarrassment or anger, I'm not sure. "What is with you, Bella!? Why are you such a bitch now!? And what's with that color? Strawberry-blonde? Is that some new condition for being a slut!?"

"You're fat mouth is really getting on my nerves, Jess, so shut it unless you want a fat lip!" Her hand shot out so fast, I didn't even notice until it slapped me across the face. She wasn't very strong, but the surprise caused me to stumble back a little. My eyes and fury ignited, I raised my fist up-

"Enough! Ladies, that's quite enough! Get over here." The teacher made a commanding gesture toward his desk and we approached, sending filthy looks at each other the whole time. He wrote us both up and we were escorted to the principal's office by one of Forks High School's two security guards. Jessica went in first; I took the time to curl into a tight ball on the wooden bench outside the office, struggling to get my emotions under control. My head was squeezed as far between my legs as I could manage, the tears were already starting to slip out. I was SO angry, I wanted to rip the stupid bench apart, but contented myself to grinding my teeth.

Normally I would've just ignored that kind of thing, but these times between boyfriends made me feel… unstable. I cried a lot, got angry easier, but nothing like this had ever happened before. Of course, I hadn't gone so long without a male sacrifice for my emotions before. Three days, the most I'd ever gone before was 24 hours. I had been busy deciding who to pursue next. This tiny little town forced me to use every resource available, and it still let me down.

By the time Jessica left the room I'd managed to wipe away all traces of crying. I entered the office and sat down with the principal, where I told my side of the story and he reprimanded me. However, because of my spotless record, he left me off with an afterschool detention and a phone call to Charlie. Lovely.


I ate lunch alone, like I usually did when I wasn't dating anyone. When I was, we ate together, but still apart from anyone else. My hot head was able to cool a little bit, but not nearly enough. I was with Jessica next period too. By that point, I was pretty sure God hated me.

We were able to avoid each other for the first part of class, until the time came to split into groups. And wonder of wonders, we were grouped together at exactly the wrong time. Sure, everyone hated being paired with me. The girls hated me because of what I did to guys, and the boys shied away from the girl who broke their hearts. But still, these were extraordinary circumstances.

Civility couldn't have lasted long. As soon as our eyes locked, both of our tempers flared up. One little decision about the group project was all it took. We easily got into a heated, but quiet, debate about it. At least, until Jessica realized that I was winning.

"Shut UP!" She practically yelled, shooting out of her seat. I was standing just seconds after her.

"Yeah, how about YOU shut up!"

"You shut up!"

Damn, even this terribly lame fight was grinding my gears until they broke. I wanted her to shut up, I didn't want to say it again, and goddammit, I wanted to get rid of all these ugly emotions.

So, I tackled her to the ground.

She screamed and tried to scratch at me, but I just got hold of her hair in a vice grip and started pulling.

For the second time that day, I was escorted away by the school's security guards.


I'm glad I got suspended. I wouldn't have wanted to go to school today anyway.

Charlie got his parenting moment; he had to come pick me up at school (While he was on duty. Gasp!) and take me home. Naturally, he chewed me out the whole way. I focused on the sound of his cruiser's engine and it wasn't too hard to tune him out. Once we got inside the house it was almost impossible.

He ranted on and on about how he knew I was better than this, that I should be better than this. After he criticized almost every single decision I'd made in the last week or two, he started on some long spiel about drugs, even though I assured him I wasn't that stupid. Then he just had to bring up that fact that I hadn't done anything like this before Edward left.

My head was already in turmoil, now he might as well have shoved a knife in my heart. I choked and ran upstairs, tears running down my face. I stayed locked in my room for the rest of the night, all the way up until I'd heard Charlie leave for the station early this morning.

Why was I such a horrible person? Even ignoring what happened yesterday, why was I really ruining my life? Dating any guy I meet, then cruelly dumping him as soon as I started comparing him to my Edward (The name hurt me again.), I'm such a terrible person…

But why? Really, why was I doing this? Maybe it was because of Edward's last wish that I fall in love with some other guy and be happy without him, since he was so sure that I could. Maybe I was trying to find that guy, maybe that would make Edward happy… A much more likely reason was being whispered by that dark, cynical part of my brain. I was probably going through so many guys in some feeble attempt to spite Edward, to say 'You were wrong. I went through all these boys and I never felt ANYTHING for ANY of them! No one but you!'

I'm such an ugly person.


Life as a delinquent is so boring. I can only sleep in for so long before I have to get up and do something, but even then, there's nothing to do! I have no friends and I'm not dating anyone right now, even if I was they'd be in school right now. I don't watch TV, I'm already ahead on the reading list for English… I don't know how these other kids stand it.

I shouldn't have dyed my hair. I knew it was stupid, but I'd gone so long without a distraction from Edward (Ouch…) that mind my had started to wander. I thought about the things he told me. About the vampire clan living in Denali, the beautiful, strawberry-blonde Tanya that had come onto him. If Edward had been here, he would have soothed me, ease me of any suspicion and told me he loved me. But I was alone, and my mind was free to continue it's horrible imaginings. I'd wondered if Edward was trying to be happy without me, if maybe he had met up with Tanya and…

I was irrational and stupid, but it was enough to make me run out to a salon, buy a bottle of hair dye, and do something really dumb. That fact that I understood this now was enough to let me go back to that salon and buy another bottle of dye. I didn't want to overdo it, but the first time it came out dirty-blonde, so I went all out and was back to my original hair color before Charlie got home. I was going to look so stupid, leaving school with my dyed hair and coming back normal. If anyone was stupid enough to ask, I'll tell them Charlie made me do it.

Since I'm a bad egg and I have no life, there's not much else to do but contemplate my situation. I was officially out of potential boyfriends. Ben was the last senior guy in Forks, and I'd only waited so long to take him because I still felt some lingering sense of friendship for Angela. Poor Angela, she can't even bear to look at me anymore.

But now what was I going to do? I can't date those underclassmen anymore; I lose more than I gain by doing that. They're so immature compared to him… But, I guess you can't even really try to compare the maturity levels of a 17 year old boy and a hundred-something immortal vampire. But still, all they focus on is making out and getting into my pants. Are all boys naturally like that? Obsessed over sex? Well, that's unfair, some girls I know… used to know were just as crazy about it. Maybe they grow out of it as they grow older…

Bang! That's when it hit me!

An older guy! If the data followed the pattern; that I stayed with them longer as they got older, then a man even older than 18 was the next practical approach! Oh, I was getting dizzy from my discovery. It was so obvious now!

I was determined now, and, hell, I figured the older the better. A few potential targets entered my mind, but this would take a lot of careful planning, especially with Charlie on the lookout after the incident with Jessica.

But surely, surely this was the answer I'd been looking for!


It had taken most of my week of suspension, but I'd finally settled on my man. Arnold Grayson, age 39, divorced, no kids, and best of all, he kept to himself a lot. There were a lot of single Guys in Forks, but it would be hard for them to keep our relationship from Charlie, a lot harder than it was to keep any other secret around here. I guess it didn't matter if anyone found out; I was 18, a legal adult! But… Charlie's reaction and the rest of the town, and Arnold's… Much better to keep it a secret!

But it could work! My confidence was soaring, I hadn't puked all week and I'd only cried twice. I must be getting closer to happiness bit by bit, what else could it be? Maybe Edward had known it would be like this all along, that I would keep looking until I proved him right. I was already tired of teenage boys before he left, so he probably figured I would try something like this sooner or later. Yes! It makes sense!

Oh, God. I can think his name now without cringing. I must be getting better. That little logical part of my brain warned me that trying to approach a secretive, 39 year old divorced man was reeeeally stupid. But logic be damned! I'd rather take a chance at happiness that stay miserable because I'm afraid of the risks.

What's gotten into me lately? I'm so… strange.


Two weeks passed after my suspension before Charlie trusted me enough to let me leave the house after school. It took another three days of digging to find a good place to ambush Arnold. Then I waited for the next Saturday night to set my plan into action. This weird little kid I'd become, thought it was kind of cool, like a spy or something. I'd calmed down since my initial realization, but everyone could feel my little aura of excitement.

Every single day, Arnold went to the Speedway for a cup of coffee at around nine o'clock. So, at eight-thirty, I parked my truck in the corner of the gas station's parking lot. As soon as I spotted Arnold's little white Sedan turn its blinker on, I pulled up by a pump. Four and a half minutes later, he was coming back from buying his coffee when I approached him.

"Hey, do you have a sec?" He seemed startled in an unnatural way, like he never expected anyone to talk to him, ever. "Look, this is really embarrassing, but I'm two bucks short for my gas."

"O-oh… I'm sorry." That was it. He didn't say anymore. Wow.

"Um, do you think you could lend me the money? I'll pay your back, I promise. I'm Chief Swan's daughter, Bella." I was a little thrown off. He's such a weird guy, but he just seems a little out of the loop about everything. I wasn't really getting a bad vibe from him…

"Uh…" He paused and started digging around in his pockets. He pulled out a five dollar bill and held it out for me. "That's all I have. You can have it." I hadn't been expecting him to be so generous, but that worked out really well for my plan.

"Oh, thanks. You're a lifesaver!" I took the bill and shoved it in my pocket before speaking again. "Look, I feel really bad about this. Hey, I know. Why don't I take you out for coffee sometime? It's my treat, as thanks for taking care of me." He was dumbstruck and wide-eyed, and he just stood there staring at me, like he was waiting for me to burst out laughing and say he'd been punked.

I waited for another moment before I started to back away casually. "Okay, how about tomorrow, 4 o'clock at Forks Coffee Shop. I'll see you there." I hurried away, partly so he wouldn't get a chance to decline my offer, partly because I was afraid my terrible acting skills would ruin my plan. I jumped in my truck and put it in drive, shooting out of the station. I hope Arnold didn't notice that I didn't even use the money he'd given me. I risked a glance out my window and saw him stumble trying to get into his car. I had to laugh at that; he was a funny kind of old guy.


I arrived at the coffee shop a twenty till four and got a table. I didn't want to scare him away, or worse, make my motives obvious, so I'd just put on an old pair of jeans, a T-shirt and a zip-up hoodie. But I wanted just a little flare, so I added a little blush to my cheeks, put on some eye liner and wore the silver cross earrings Renee got me for my 16th birthday.

He arrived exactly at 4, so I assumed he was a little anal. His face fell a little when he saw me already there, but he walked over confidently and sat down across from me in the booth. I gave him a strained smile and waved at the waitress. She took our order and went off behind the counter.

Surprisingly, Arnold was the one to start the chat. "So, how have you been? Since yesterday." He clarified, looking a little disappointed at his poor conversation topic.

"Fine, fine. Oh, here's your money back." I placed the same bill he'd handed me yesterday on the table in front of him. He carefully reached out and took it, keeping his eyes near the table.

I was a little reserved about this, but I assured myself that he would fall just like all the other boys. I brushed a bit of my hair out of my face, let my eyelids droop until they were half shut and licked my lips. His gaze followed my movements and he practically cringed at the tiny popping sound when I smack my lips together.

"You know, now that I think about it, I don't know much about you. Where do you work?" I already knew, but rule one was that I always stay interested in HIM.

"I-in the Sterling Savings Bank on South Forks Avenue." He stuttered. "Um, do you have a job?"

"I help out now and then with the Newton's supply store." I'd already prepared for this situation; he was trying to shift focus to me. Practice had taught me that it was best to shoot it right back at him. "So what are you doing next Friday night?" Oh, his heart must have stopped. He looked so shaken I thought he might cry. I mentally chastised myself, that would have been easy for a younger guy, but I was going to have to change it around for Arnold. "My friends are going to Port Angeles to see some terrible movie, and I don't have anything else to do. Maybe we could spend some more time together?" I leaned forward, parted my lips and rested my chin on my upturned palm. Hook. "This town is so boring without someone to hang out with, and you're really fun." Line. "Come on, pleeeeease?" And sinker.

"S-sure, I'm free." God, he was blushing. Are all men so easy? "There's a nice fishing spot on the Quillayute River that has a pretty view. We could go there."

"Oh, that sounds great!" Even I could hear how fake my enthusiasm sounded, but Arnold either didn't notice or wasn't paying attention. He looked a little more inflated that when he'd walked in.

I jumped, pretending to be startled. I pulled out my turned-off cell phone and opened it up, widening my eyes unrealistically. "Oh, I forgot!" I stood and walked over to his side of the table, scribbling down my address. "I have to go, sorry. But here, that's my house. Charlie is going fishing down in La Push Friday, so why don't you show up around seven? I'll be waiting." I gave him a smile so fake it made ME hurt, but Arnold as beaming and nodded.

I walked out at a normal speed before sprinting to my truck. I was hysterical; it took everything I had to keep from laughing. He hadn't even noticed that I'd walked out and left him with the bill. What an idiot!

I was nearly home when the guilt hit. God, I'm such a manipulative user. I felt sick, but the nausea was kept at bay by my hopes for Friday. Surely I would feel better with Arnold. I'd be happy and I'd forget Ed-

I struggled to straighten the steering wheel after I'd veered out into the other lane. His name, not even finished in my mind had caused a red hot iron bar to shove itself deep into my chest. I couldn't even make it home before the tears began to fall.


The week passed without incident. Even though I'd more than mellowed out since my fight with Jessica, people were still freaked out by me. I ignored them, like I would any other group of gawking losers. Gawking NICE losers. Everybody in this school, this town, was so nice, except for me, of course. One drop of black ink on an otherwise pure white piece of paper.


I knew I might not get home before Charlie, so I fed him some story about me going to try and make up with Jessica. When I'll eventually tell him it didn't work out, he wouldn't ask her mom my story was true.

I was pretty sure Arnold knew my intentions, but just in case, my outfit would make it clear. Through the combined power of the wardrobe Alice had given me before they… And the mountain of cosmetics Renee had been trying to put on me since I was six, I was sure he'd get the message.

Once again, Arnold arrived exactly on time. That little anal aspect would surely get annoying, but I could live with it. He took a moment to ogle me and the large amount of skin showed off by the miniskirt and halter top I was wearing. I snapped him out of it by taking my keys out of my purse. He seemed a little anxious about riding in my truck, so I hopped in his sedan and let him drive me.

It turns out my intuition was right about him, he was just a weird-in-a-good-way guy. He made corny jokes the whole ride, so stupid that I just had to laugh. It helped to ease my mind; I was still considering the possibility that as soon as we were alone he'd reveal that he was a serial killer or a cannibal or something.

We made it down to the river and sat in the grass, after he laid out a blanket for me. We talked about the weather, which was unusually dry. I whispered a silent thank you to the rain clouds that had chosen to avoid Forks on that day, or else my outfit would have been idiotically impractical.

I learned that he had pets: a dog, six fish, and two canaries. He also loved the Steelers, graduated from Washington University, was addicted to sushi and had an odd taste for German music.

My heart swelled, but it had little to do with Arnold. I was the happiest I'd been in months simply because I couldn't make any comparisons between this man and him. There wasn't any reminder in Arnold's round face or his deep voice or his blonde-grey hair. I felt like dancing and singing! I was free from that pain, free forever!


After three hours of talking, I decided to head home. I'd become much more casual around Arnold, I didn't need to act as much to keep him there, which was a blessing itself. He drove me home, and I sighed with relief when I saw that Charlie wasn't back yet. I hadn't been sure I'd be able to talk my way out of this situation.

Arnold walked me to the door and said goodnight in a very gentlemanly way. I knew what I had to do next, and I really didn't have to force myself this time. I leaned forward and kissed him, then slowly closed the door in his face.

That night, I had a wonderful sleep. I didn't dream at all, there was just a void of blackness that swallowed me and cradled me as I slept.


Keeping secrets in Forks, especially from the Chief of Police, was always hard. But Arnold proved to be a reliable choice in that respect. We've been dating for nearly a month without ANYONE finding out.

After that first kiss, I'd ambushed him at the Speedway again and driven back to his home. We talked for a while before I kissed him again. He was gentle, so unlike those kids I'd been dating. He held me in his arms and touched out lips together. His kisses were slow, sweet and long.

After that, we went on a few trips back to the river and talked, in-between make-out sessions, of course. Eventually he was brave enough to take me to Port Angeles to see an R-rated movie with me, and then we started going to Seattle for restaurants and dancing.

I wasn't becoming bored with him like I was with the others. He wasn't particularly interesting, but I could make myself believe that I loved all his stories. I laughed with him, instead of just smiling. I smiled real smiles instead of ugly fake ones. I was probably closer to being happy than I ever was with those other substitutes.

I had a date with Arnold Saturday; we were going to a play in Port Angeles, The Tempest by Shakespeare. He said it was formal dress, he was wearing a tux. I decided on a black dress Alice had forced on me for some event last year and tied my hair up in a bun. Charlie, though he had grown used to my cycle of boyfriends and hardly even noticed who I was dating, was still surprised to see me all dressed up. He made some mumbled comment about me looking beautiful before I left. I'd warned Arnold that Charlie was staying home that night, so I was going to meet him at a restaurant in the city for dinner before the show.

I pulled into C'est Si Bon's parking lot. It was a nice little French restaurant, one that I chose. Arnold had originally wanted to go to Bella Italia, but I'd vetoed that idea in a heartbeat. That place held a memory, and one was far too many.

I saw Arnold already seated when I entered and I made my way over to him. His smiling face was so happy, I had to grin back. Like always, we got a few stares from the nosy gossipers, but we'd built up a tolerance for them. I was a legal adult; they could cry themselves to sleep over the fact that they could report Arnold to the police for statutory rape.

Our meal was fine, but the word 'delicious' eluded me. After that, he escorted me to his car, held open the passenger side door, and we were off to the theater. Luckily, the play was much better than I'd expected. I could laugh at the parts that were funny and deafen my ears during the romantic parts. I could smile and clap hard in my attempt to free Prospero from the island.

A fine night, one that had left my chuckling and bubbly. My life was so livable now, and I was so gullible. It's no wonder Fate decided to rip my happiness to pieces.


It happened after the play. We'd decided to go for a walk around town before heading back to his car. We were standing in front of an apartment building, under a bright streetlight when He stopped to talk to me.

"Bella…" He started, then took a deep breath and continued. "You know… I really like you, a lot."

"I like you too." I said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, which it kind of was.

"Do you really mean that?" I told his yes, and he took a moment to compose himself. "Then… I really think I should properly meet your father. As your boyfriend."

My heart froze over. "What?" Ed… He had made such a similar request once, a lump the size of a bowling ball formed in my throat. I could talk him out of it, right? I'd sooth him and make him forget all about this stupid idea. I'd still be happy; I wouldn't have to cry anymore.

"Bella, I… I love you. I love you so much. I want to meet your father and your mother. I want to be with you anytime I want, without all the secrecy. I…" His voice hitched in his throat. "I think I want to marry you."

All the warmth drained out of my body. My eyes burned and I quickly blinked away any tears that might have been forming. "You want to…" I stopped and realized I'd been staring holes into the sidewalk. I look up at his expectant face, excitement barely concealed by a mask of uncertainty. I felt sick.

"Never speak to me again." I hissed.

"Wh-what?" Poor Arnold looked terrified; his eyes were wide like a deer in headlights, his lips quivering. My mouth twisted in disgust.

"I said, never talk to me again. Leave me alone."

"Bella, why are you saying this?" That did it. I was used to boys understanding that I was dumping them with those words. But Arnold was clueless about what a terrible person I really was. I was angry and sad and I was going to MAKE him understand.

"Because, gramps!" I snapped. "I don't want to see your ugly face again! I don't want to hear your nasty voice or smell your disgusting breath. And If I have to taste your gross spit in my mouth one more time, I'm gonna puke!"

I whirled around and started to walk away, but he grabbed my arm. "Please, Bella, I'm sorry, I-"

"Help! Somebody help me! Rape! Help me!" Arnold snatched his hand away before I could finish screaming. I took a moment to smirk before I spit on his face. "Stupid asshole," I sneered, wiping my mouth. "If you ever try to talk to me again, I'll tell Charlie you're stalking me." That was all the warning I intended to give. I turned back around and walked off into the night.


I made it three blocks before a thousand pound weight dropped onto me. I fell to my knees, dirtying the beautiful dress and stabbing myself on the roughly paved sidewalk. The small bit of makeup I'd applied earlier that night smeared as the tears flooded down my cheeks.

I was able to crawl into a dark alley and collapse on the ground before that beautiful French cuisine from C'est Si Bon splattered all over the cement. Once the vomit stopped coming I curled into a ball and cried. I could walk back to the restaurant and drive home eventually, but it would be a while.

Guilt was punching me again and again; in my stomach, my heart and my face. "Edward… EDWARD!!" I wailed, too far gone to even wince at the name. "Edward! I'm sorry, Edward! Don't hate me!!"


Somehow I made it home. I never glance at a clock, even as I ran upstairs, past a suspicious Charlie, to my room. I locked the door and pulled out the scrapbook, finding the enlarged image of Edward's sophomore year picture.

Shame flooded over me. I could feel Edward's perfect face, his all-seeing eyes boring into me, judging my sins. I slammed the book shut and hid it, unable to escape those eyes. Every time I tried to sleep I saw him, his lip curled in disgust at this person I've become.

I cried until I ran out of tears, then collapsed from exhaustion.

Whew! Done! Wow, this chapter was nearly ten pages, a personal best. I'm so proud of me! I really hope everyone liked this chapter; I expanded on Bella's darker nature while trying to show how hard she was trying to get over Edward. If you didn't like if (Which I can totally understand, I can't please everyone) then I beg you to read the next chapter anyway. Like I said, Bella returns to the way she was in the first chapter. I'll try and update sooner this time, but you never know… It should be faster, since I don't think chapter 3 will be nearly this long. And please remember what I said: Read and Review! I'll love you forever!

Next Chapter: Dirty Dancing- Compromise, clubbing and censorship, shortness of breath.