Potty-humor a la Emmett. Use the word: fart. Make it juvenile and hilarious.

Because I'm having a hard time getting through a particular point in a story, or had a random funny situation pop in my head, these are various one-shots. Stuff that would normally never see the light of day (or leave my hard drive) until now. Beware, they are typo-ridden, fluffed up/angsty and mostly OOC.

Disclaimer: This disclaimer is srs bsns. If I really was Stephenie Meyer, would I be writing fanfiction on this website? I think not.

It was sunny July afternoon. Bella and I had just settled down to watch a movie. I popped her some popcorn, according to the directions on the package. It smelled horrid, but she liked it. The package was labeled 'Butter Lover's'.

I grabbed the bowl when it was finished and headed to the den, Emmett snickering behind me.

"What, Em?" He was unusually quiet in his thoughts. It made me suspicious.

"It seems Bella has a problem, Brother." A big, smelly problem

I looked questioningly. It wasn't the wolves, was it? She hasn't even spoken to Jacob, as far as I know, since he left back in late June.

I shrugged it off and continued to the den. I smiled at Bella, while plopping myself next to her, handing the bowl over.

I flicked the remote and started the movie. We were about fifteen minutes into it when I saw Emmett wrinkling his nose in disgust.

"What is THAT godawful smell?"

Emmett was looking, questiongly, in my direction.
Dude, I know we can't fart, but man... that is rank.

I rolled my eyes. Amazing. He's ninety years old and still has the mindset of a 5-year-old.

Then, he turned to Bella. I glanced at her and her face was red as a beet. Then I smelled it, too. I held my breath.

Bella shrugged her shoulders. "Um, Charlie made chili for lunch."