Part III: No More Words
'Thou askest me if I could speak of love,
Knowing what I know, and seeing what I have seen.'
"Kazekage-sama, you have a visitor."
The announcement - though barely above a whisper - woke the red head out of his dreamless state. It had taken some getting use to, but he was finally able to start nodding off to sleep, without any help. He would only doze for an hour or two, but it was time treasured in a life that was only permitted to take minute long naps at different intervals of the day.
The sleepy teenager yawned quietly and looked at the clock that hung on the opposite wall. Who would be calling at one in the morning, he pondered, moving the sheets aside to stumble out of bed.
Upon seeing that the young leader was awake, the ninja that informed the Kazekage of his late night caller closed the door and stood beside it. Not a minute later Gaara walked out, strapping his gourd to his back. He didn't know if he could still use his sand or not, but he didn't feel safe without it.
He looked curiously at the ninja who had awaken him.
"He is waiting for you in your office, Kazekage-sama." Gaara nodded and led the guard down a series of corridors that led to his office, the man waited outside as Gaara stepped in. It was dark, the moon shone brightly outside, giving the village a luminescent glow. In all of the shadows, he barely noticed his visitor, who stood in front of the large window. Gaara's heartbeat stilled.
"N-Naruto..." He cleared his throat, why was his voice shaky all of a sudden? "...What are you doing here?" The blonde didn't turn around, he continued staring out the window.
"Is it true?" He asked quietly.
"That you can sleep peacefully now?"
The tone in his voice had changed, Gaara had never heard it before. "Yes." His voice was just as quiet, as if they were any louder, the moment, the stillness between them would be broken. And whatever reason the blonde had come, the purpose of him standing in front of Gaara at that moment would be lost.
"Then I'm sorry." Naruto said, faint laughter in his voice.
He turned around then and smiled at the red head softly. "I guess I woke you up, huh?" Gaara just shook his head.
"Don't be stupid, Naruto..."
Moments passed and they merely stared at each other. Gaara's stomach felt nauseous, as if he were expecting something, like the world to cave in around him. Naruto laughed, breaking the silence that blanketed the two. He moved away from the window.
"Look at us, not saying a word. It feels like the last time I was here I had a lot to say, but now..." he trailed off, still smiling his Naruto-like smile.
Yes, they did have a lot to discuss the last time the Konoha ninja visited the leader of Suna. In fact, those same topics of discussion had been deliberated within Gaara's own mind many times since that day. But he couldn't let that part of him show. He could not let Naruto see him so weak, he still had to save face. He was the Kazekage after all. Clearing his throat, Gaara squared his shoulders.
"You haven't answered my question, Naruto." He said, looking at the smiling ninja square in the eye. The blonde scratched his head, but said nothing. "What are you doing here?" he sighed, still a little sleepy, he craved the warmth of his bed sheets.
"Well... partially because I was threatened... and..."
Suddenly, and with deft movements, Naruto made his way over to the red head and stood directly in front of him. Because of the difference in height, Gaara had to tilt his head back a fraction to look the younger boy in the eyes. Naruto stared at him intensely with those mischievous blue eyes, the sand ninja almost melted then and there, but he held his ground, staring back at the blonde defiantly. It felt as if they were staring at each other for hours before Naruto bothered to speak.
"I needed to see you Gaara," He whispered, eyes sad. "I needed to make sure..." He paused to lift the tousled hair out of the red heads eyes, catching a glimpse of the kanji that was carved into the others forehead. "I needed to be certain, that's all."
"That you didn't really die back there - that you are still here - alive and breathing. I was worried about you, you know." He smiled outwardly, but the blonde's eyes told a different story. Gaara saw the fear in them that , he guessed, was there that day.
"I'm fine, Naruto..." But he wasn't, he felt so lost, so empty. Yes Shukaku was gone, but that was beside the point, that door was closed, sealed shut and it was time for a new one to be opened and Gaara believed Naruto held the key. "It's just taken a while to get use to things..."
The blonde laughed. "Yeah, a good nights sleep is a lot different when you don't have some sadistic sand demon there to keep you awake all night."
In spite of himself, Gaara smiled, it was small, but it had felt good. Naruto always had his own way of interpreting things. He found himself staring at the younger ninja's mouth; it was so perfect, he thought. Subconsciously he felt the leaf shinobi move closer, the space around him suddenly invaded by the others presence. The gourd tied to his back thumped clumsily against the wall. Warm breath cascaded against his cheeks, fascinated, he watched the lips move, the voice barely audible to his ears.
"Kiss me..." Naruto whispered, pinning the red head even more, but Gaara shook his head, averting his eyes reluctantly. "...please..." he begged, brushing his lips over Gaara's petal soft cheeks, somewhat surprised to see that there was no sand to block his actions. "Please..." he said again, this time his lips were at the corner of the sand leaders mouth.
Hesitantly and with his cheeks a little more red than he cared to admit at the moment, Gaara turned his face towards the blond, mouth connecting with soft weather chapped lips. He flicked his tongue over the roughness to sooth them a little, only to have Naruto moan suggestively and cover his lips with his own. Gaara gasped in surprise when a warm, wet tongue found its way inside of his mouth. Naruto experimentally pressed the invading appendage against Gaara's own, coaxing him to react.
Gaara was new to this, prior to this interaction, he had never kissed anyone before in his life. Before Naruto he had never been so close as to touch another person... well, in a very long time at least. Slowly, almost shyly, Gaara slid his tongue against the others own, caught off guard by the small noise the blonde made. More tentative exploring, Naruto's tongue moved about Gaara's orifice as if it were his own, ghosting over teeth and filling the roof of the red heads mouth. Another sound, muffled to the Kazekage's ears, was made and he ignored it, too overwhelmed by the blonde's kiss. The heat of it sent his mind into a frenzy of conflicting emotions. He held on to Naruto's shoulder just to keep himself standing.
He wanted - needed - this, but that was only his body's reaction. His mind warned him to save face and hold his ground, the blonde had not mad his decision yet. He did not want to be disappointed later on. He tried to listen - gods how he tried - but every other part of his body was focused on the one holding him so closely. The hands were still, but they held him so tightly against the other that Gaara had no choice but to blush modestly when he thought - which was impressive considering his mind was drowned in deep passion - of exactly what was digging into his inner thigh.
When the need for air was too great, Naruto pulled away , resting his forehead against Gaara's, panting heavily; his eyes were closed. His arms hung limply around the red heads thin waist, not bothering to push himself away. For once, Gaara ignored the voice in his head and kept the blonde close, choosing not to pull away either.
"I'm so sorry, Gaara," he whispered, eyes still hidden by tan lids. His lips moved to kiss the bridge of the red head's nose, then his forehead. "I've been so selfish..." He spoke against the hair covering Gaara's brow, it tickled.
"How?" Gaara asked reproachfully, eyes not really focusing on anything. He bathed in the blonde's presence, silently wishing it would never go away. He only hoped he wouldn't be disappointed.
"Don't ask stupid questions, Gaara." The blonde replied playfully. "You know what I'm talking about."
"Hmmm," Gaara hummed to show his understanding, but realized that Naruto wasn't the only one who should have been apologizing. "Forgive me as well then." He offered, Naruto pulled away slightly to look into his green eyes, confusion in his.
"Forgive you? For what?" He questioned seriously.
"I have been stubborn as well..." Resilient, athletic arms tightened around Gaara's waist. Naruto hugged him tightly, shaking his head in the process. Gaara was bewildered at the sudden action, but he said no more.
"Stupid..." He murmured softly into the others ear. "Hear I am trying to explain how sorry I am, how much I missed you. How I'll never leave your side again, how hard I've fallen for you, and you think you've done something wrong. It's all my fault, dummy, you don't need to say sorry for the way you felt. It was because of me that you felt that way."
Gaara couldn't make it passed the part where he said he fell so hard for him. When had that happened? Where was Gaara to witness this?
"So, I tell you what," the blonde continued, still holding tightly to the red head. "I'll tell you how sorry I am every day, for the rest of my life. Agreed?" Gaara sighed.
"You don't need to do that, Naruto. I don't need a life time of expressions of regret."
"Fine then," the Konoha ninja debated. "I'll just spend the rest of my life telling you how much I love you. Deal?"
Gaara sighed again, "Naruto, you don't need to-" The words - like a light bulb flicking on in his mind - registered in his brain, so suddenly that it took him a few seconds to completely understand. When he looked up at the Uzumaki, he was smiling down at him. "What?"
Naruto chuckled. "Like I said, I'll say it as many times as you want."
Gaara could have cried. He could have broken down onto his hands and knees and wept like a newborn infant. But he was too happy to do that, the smile on his face was too wide for incoherent sobs, the arms around his waist - tightened by Naruto when the red head threw his arms around the blond in his joy - kept him from sinking to his knees in shocked happiness.
Those were all the words he needed to hear.
Who said being in love was bliss? Gaara wanted to know, so that he could run up to that person, with the biggest grin on his face, and tell them that... they were absolutely right. Love was bliss. Love was soft kisses and feathery touches. Love was whispered words of endearment and the occasional nonsense. Love was more than a word, more than a feeling. More than just the way you treated another person. To be in love, you had to feel it way deep down in your soul, like he did.
But it did not mean you were free from fear. Gaara worried often that he wasn't good enough for the Uzumaki. That was when the bliss was stolen for a time, when Naruto had to drag him out of whatever haze he had put himself in and remind him. He, Gaara, was the only one that he cherished, the only one that required his attention. The only one he would actually give it to.
Naruto rarely had to tell him, though he promised to utter the sweet words when ever asked, for Gaara to know that he did care deeply for him. His actions said enough.
His hands were gentle as they ghosted over heated, pale skin. His mouth was soft when it brushed past pliable, kiss swollen lips. At that moment, he couldn't feel anymore if he tried. Every languid caress, each methodical kiss drew out his inner emotions and were returned just as enthusiastically.
He mewled softly into the blonde's ear, wishing he would stop his torture, but baiting him to continue nonetheless. Naruto looked at him then, his vivid blue eyes hazed over in a lusty fog. Secretly, Gaara loved that look, he relished in the thought that no one could ever make the Uzumaki look that way besides him.
Blue stared curiously into sea foam green for a few seconds, before Naruto smiled, bright and dazzling. Gaara loved it when he did that too.
With a sheen of sweat misted over his brow, the Konoha ninja whispered, "I love you, Gaara."
Gaara resisted the urge to laugh and say, 'I know', just as another calculatingly slow thrust was angled with his hips. Instead he reached for his lover, arching against his tanned, muscular chest, pulling his face back down. Gods, how he loved kissing those lips.
Though the sand wielder had not been able to say the words before, Naruto had showed him, in more ways than one, how to express his feelings. Spending time with one another, exchanging secrets and past experiences, holding hands, sharing kisses. With looks, words, and actions the blonde had shown Gaara so many ways to say those three special words. The words that made his stomach flutter and his heart do cartwheels when the Uzumaki said it to him.
When he was unable to say I love you, Naruto hadn't been angry or upset, he understood. Amazingly, that had only made the Sand ninja fall deeper for the hyperactive blonde.
Another sensuous roll of tanned hips and Gaara felt his inner walls constrict. Naruto held him tighter just as the red head's body tensed, pushing a little faster. Kami, he was so close...
It wasn't as if Gaara didn't want to say it, on the contrary, he wished he never developed this complex. But situations being what they were, and thanks in no small amount to his betraying uncle, he did not have a choice in the matter. Just like he never had a choice all those years ago. But he wouldn't dwell on those repressed memories. He had Naruto to protect him now.
"Naruto...I-I.....mmm." He reached for the words, but they were still so lost to him.
Naruto laughed, snapping his hips forward again. "Say what you mean... Gaara.... Or shut up... and just... feel." He breathed into the red head's ear.
Allowing himself to feel, Gaara released almost as soon as the blonde finished his sentence. The Konoha ninja found completion soon thereafter, collapsing onto the Kazekage's pale form, nuzzling into his dampened neck. Gaara struggled to breathe; Naruto always took his breath away.
After a moment of finding his voice, he whispered, "... I... want to tell you..." Naruto's head lifted slightly and Gaara was momentarily enchanted by those sapphire orbs. "I.. need to say..." He was hushed by a finger on his lips.
"You don't have to, I already know."
Gaara's full bottom lip drew into a pout, it took a mountain of will to keep the blond from catching it between his teeth. "But... I want you to know how I feel... about you. I want to tell you..."
"I tell you what, keep showing me the way you feel. Eventually I'm sure I'll be able to get the hint." Lifting the elder boys palm, Naruto placed a kiss on the center of his hand.
Gaara nodded mutely. What could he really say to that statement? It was just him, he was so tiny. How could he ever get his message through? Sliding the palm over the boy's sun kissed cheek, dragging his face back to his in the deepest, most sensuous kiss he could deliver, he allowed Naruto to feel the emotions within it. So he decided to stop talking because, he learned, words weren't all that powerful sometimes.
Kyo - Yo, finished. That's all there is, there isn't anymore. I feel like this fic lost it's quality by the third chapter, but meh, I'm still happy with it. At least there wasn't some horribly tragic ending, like how I had planned in the beginning. Now there's only horribly fluffy half smut :D That's something to banzai about! \(OwO)/ ((banzai!!)) And no, this won't be continued, I hate sequels -.-'...and it doesn't help that I'm bad at doing them. So, I hope you enjoyed this little angst filled ride, I sure enjoyed writing it!