She gritted her teeth against the angry prick of tears, the view outside her window an indistinct blur, she tried to swallow down her quiet sob. Hard to do against the lump in her throat, it'd been fixed there since she'd heard Mia's distraught cries over the phone.
She had no clue where they were now, had no desire to know. They could run, run forever, she was positive the pain would follow. She was consumed in it, and feared it would only get worse. The gravity of the situation hadn't totally set in it, once it did…well she didn't want to contemplate what would happen then.
It would still hurt. That much she knew.
She could handle the physical pain, handle it pretty well, considering she couldn't manage to concentrate on it, on anything other than the ugly images in her head. It was the other pain, far worse, that had her gut in knots, making it hard to breathe, the tightening in her chest unbearable. Her shaky breathes having nothing to do with her injuries. She couldn't close her eyes and not see what happened only hours ago so vividly, it was all there, all to clearly for her taste.
She could still feel the blood on her face, the hot dirt under her hands as she crawled out of her Civic. Hear the shot gun blast, so damn close, too close.
That was by far the better half, the horrible images Mia's words had created wouldn't stop flashing thru her head, they were too much.
Heavy tears fell unchecked down her face, the folded hands in her lap made no attempt to wipe them away. 'Should have said no, should have walked away…smarter, smarter than this. He wouldn't have…would be here. Safe, would be safe, both of them, all of us.'
Her angry cry finally managed to make itself known, petite shoulders moving with the force of it.
She'd held it in long enough, couldn't control what so dearly wanted out, so she cried.
Then cried some more, all her pent up emotions wanting to burst from the inside out.
Worried eyes stopped staring at the road ahead to look over at the mess of a woman next to him. To say he was alarmed was an understatement.
"Lett? Why are you crying?", he asked, scared, of what he wasn't sure. "What's wrong ma? You ok? You feelin' ok over there, huh? "
She shook her head mutely, her sobs taking over her body.
"You hurtin', want another a those pills? Were does it hurt?" His voice taking on a shaky quality.
Another small shake of her head was all she gave.
"Talk to me Letty, come on…", resting a trembling hand on her arm he tried to soothe her, only to have her shake him off.
His brow furrowed in worry, he contemplated pulling to the side of the road to check her over, see what was wrong. Trying again, he gripped her shoulder. "Letty, please don't cry…please." He whispered.
"Don't", came the choked demand, "don't touch me Lee."
Doing as she said he let go and gripped the steering wheel with both hands. "Talk to me, what's wrong? I'm gonna pull over."
She didn't bother even looking at him, much less verbally answering any of his questions. Doubled over she buried her face in her hands, trying to silence her crying. No use, there was still plenty more to come.
Feeling the car slowly come to a halt she looked up into Leon's concerned face, the worry plain and clear in his eyes. She bit her lip, looking away. She clearly wasn't up to talking, to anyone.
"What's wrong? Tell me Lett, look at me." He was going to lose it, the little control he had was going to slip, he'd done an incredible job of keeping a straight face but not knowing what to do now had him worried.
He'd been able to keep cool, for the most part because he had a job to do. Get Letty to a doctor, then get both of them to the beach house, that was what Dominic had told him to do, it was what he had so fiercely concentrated on.
Aside from what he'd learned when he'd called back to check things out, and the momentary panic attack he'd had, he managed to get it together and engross himself in what he'd been ordered to do.
He had thanked god that Letty had been quiet, lost in her own thoughts, he hadn't known what he would do if she broke down. He squirmed at the memory of the way his heart clenched when he'd seen the anguish wash over her face when she'd been told what'd happened back home.
Now his heart was back to feeling like there was a huge fist wrapped around it, squeezing without mercy. Seeing her like this, now, and not sure how to comfort her…he didn't know how, never had to before.
'Dom, he'd know.'
"I'm going to call Dominic, you can tell him what's wrong Lett…then he'll know what to do, he'll tell me how to fix it baby, he'll tell me." His voice full of hope, his fingers eagerly working the buttons on the cell phone.
She hadn't said a word to Dominic since making it back from the desert, what made Leon think she'd talk to him now was beyond her.
"No." It was uttered in a small voice, but it held conviction.
"He'll tell me how to help you…fix it…" fingers stopped dialing.
"Shut the fuck up Leon, please just shut the fuck up and lets go. Please." She replied looking out her window, the tears still going strong.
He was cut off, "Won't know what to do Lee, he won't know."
"Yes he will, he's going to fix it." He was positive, he would bet his ass, he just knew Dominic would.
She closed her eyes, not wanting to be having this conversation with him at the moment.
"Fix it? You sure about that Leon? Really sure?" She finally looked over at him.
He nodded vehemently, not having to think twice.
"I don't believe that. Not anymore." Oh how she dearly wanted to hold on to the thought of Dominic fixing things, yet she couldn't.
"Let's go, come on Lee. Please, I want a bed, I need a bed."
"What you need is to have Dom take…"
"NO! I don't need him right now. What I need is for you to get us to the house. Put that phone away, I'm not going to talk to him." Firm. Final.
And with that she was done with the conversation.