I know it's short, but it's just sort of a prolog.
Unfortunaltely I don't own any of those characters!
It was a strange noise coming out of exam room 2. Nothing you would expect from a physical exam. And that was the reason why Dr. CUddy got suspicious when she passed it on her way to her office.
She entered and realized that she had been right. There he sat on the stretcher, a red lollipop in the right, a magazine in the left hand whistling while reading and relaxing.
"Dr. House!", she shouted closing the door behind her.
"You are expected to treat patients here!"
He laid down the magazine to get a Vicodin and returned to his lecture.
"So I did, I had a boy with a rash and an annoying mother who was convinced it would be meningitis. That gave me a headache so I have to rest a little bit."
She ripped the magazine out of his hands.
"Go back to work and you will stay an extra hour today!"
"The woman that signs your paycheck every month! Why do we have to go through this over and over again?", she sat down next to him.
"Because you just don't get it. I will never do my duty here, just because you want me to."
"Ok, but you do know that I always catch you when you miss your hours."
"So I will pay you per hour from now on. Every clinic hour you miss, I will take 100 bucks and you can have fun with your paycheck every month and find out how much you lost!", Cuddy smirked.
"This is all you got?" He started multiplying in his mind. 4 hours a week, means 1600 bucks less per month. That was easier then he thought!
"It's a deal!", he said holding his hand out.
Unfortunately she did the math as well. 1600 dollars is not much for a department head like House, especially since he had no family to support.
"500 bucks per hour!", she said, ready to take his hand but he withdrew.
"Wow, hey, wait a second. 500 dollars? You can't do this!"
"I can and I will! That's why I have so much fun in my job!", she smirked.
"Yeah, actually it's not a job at all. Everyone could do this little administrator stuff. Hanging around an office, signing some paychecks and annoy the hell out of the hospital's best doctor!"
Cuddy pushed him in his rips. "Stop that! If it's that easy why do you not apply for my job?"
He shrugged his shoulders. Cuddy nodded. "Yeah, maybe because you are already in paradise! One patient a week, three lackeys doing everything for you and so much free time on your hands that you manage to play all those stupid games or read such drivel!"
"Maybe I don't want to die from boredom in your job!", he said.
"You couldn't last a week in my position, House!"
She should have known better. Those were exactly the words you shouldn't mention to House when you were not a hundred percent sure about it, because you always got the same answer from him.
"You wanna bet?", he smiled.
"Oh stop it, House!"
"No I mean it. One week, I do your job, you do mine! Come on, how about a week full of free time. You don't have to play my PSP you could spend this time having disappointing blind dates."
"Are you serious?", she asked him.
"Of course. I can relax for a week and it keeps you away as well. And after I won this bet, I'll go 4 weeks without clinic duty!"
"Ok, but if I win you will be my personal slave for two months! And yes, I do mean slave in every sense except the one you think about right now. You will give lectures and do clinic hours and you will come along to that medical convention in London including the big dinner at the last evening. I've always wanted to see you in a tuxedo!"
"Hey, if you get 2 months, I'll have two as well. Or I stay with 4 and you will be my slave in that time, in every sense I was thinking about."
"8 weeks without clinic duty, save the other thing for your dreams. And you will wear a lab coat!"
He held out his hand again and this time she took it.
"But there are rules, House!"
"You bet there are! Number one, stay out of the second drawer of my desk!", he said.
"You really must do the job. Everything that comes along. If you send people to me, because you are too lazy, I win the bet. If you leave early, I win the bet. If you screw and you have to ask me for help, I win the bet, If….", she got interrupted.
"If you kill my patient, I win the bet. If you have to ask me for help, because your last doctoring has been years ago, I win. And you will have to ask me because if you don't, the patient will die and you will lose anyway!"
"Do you have a patient at the moment, House?", Cuddy asked.
"No, but they always come, don't worry. By tomorrow noon you will be desperate."
He looked at his watch. "All right. It's four pm. Time to check out. We will start this nice game tomorrow. Have a nice day, Cuddy!"
"Make sure you are on time, House. am the students show up!"
He stopped on his way to the door.
"Well as dean of medicine in a teaching hospital it is part of your duties to show students around to give them the impression of the daily routine in this hospital."
"Since when?", House asked. "I've never seen you doing this."
"Daily routine, House. That's why we never show up in your department. No student should ever take you as a role model!"
"I'll give them the big tour, don't worry!", he told her and vanished.
Cuddy stayed a moment. This was definitely not a good idea. Changing jobs with House? Was she nuts? But it was too late. She couldn't get out of this without losing. "Don't worry?", she thought.
"I won't sleep the entire week!"
Reviews are welcome! :-)