Better than Me

I think you can do much better than me
After all the lies that I made you believe

I sat on the bed of me and Sasori's bedroom watching the cars go by outside. I knew Sasori was at Itachi's house again the night before. Waiting for any indication of Sasori coming back home.

Guilt kicks in and I start to see
The edge of the bed

After I cheated on the red head a year before, I then knew…me consequences have come back to haunt me. Getting up I made my way over to the dresser picking up the photo of me and Sasori's first date; Prom night. I had been convinced to wear a dress. Though now I didn't mind it. Hearing a car pull up I knew Sasori had finally came home.

Where your nightgown used to be
I told myself I won't miss you

Picking up the black hoodie from my chair in the bathroom I pulled it over my head and headed downstairs with the house keys in my hands. I saw Sasori enter the house from the back door and I snuck out the front before he could see me heading down the street. I could bare to see the hurt in his eyes anymore.

But I remember
What it feels like beside you

Pulling the hood over my head, snow began to fall again to the ground, I crossed the street to the bus stop and sat at the bench. As they said an eye for an eye, now I know how it feels to be cheated on.

I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes

I hear my cell phone ring to your ring tone and I just ignore it. I always did, though you were just checking on me, I knew I didn't deserve any of it. I hurt you more than anything. Climbing onto the bus I saw him there, your new antidote. I ignored his presence and made my way to the back eyes downcast…avoiding his always hateful gaze.

And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

After the fourth time to call I finally answer it not wishing to disappoint you anymore than I already have.

"Moushi, moushi?" I answer in a whisper leaning against the window.

"I was wandering where you were. You weren't home when I got here." You say worriedly, I felt my throat thicken as sobs began to form.

"I…I just have a debt I need to pay off again." I answer trying to control them.

"HOW?! You don't have a job Deidara! How can you pay that bastard back if you don't have the money. He's just going to kill you damn it!" He yells into the phone.

While looking through your old box of notes
I found those pictures I took

I fell silent I knew he was right. Memories of him always saving my ass for when I had to pay some dealer back for a drug habit I could never get out of. I was too addicted by the time I got together with Sasori.

"I'll find a way…See you tonight…I promise." I said into the phone pulling it away from me now. I could hear the buzz of him yelling at me to just come home. I shut the phone hanging up on him. Pulling a photo out of my pocket it was us covered in baking flour.

That you were looking for
If there's one memory I don't want to lose

We had fun that day trying to cook one his grandmothers cake recipes. Neither of us had any experience in baking.

That time at the mall
You and me in the dressing room

We ended up getting into a fit over what was what, you accidentally turn the stirrer on and batter flew everywhere. I go the turn it off, but I forgot I had the bag of flour in my hand, thus flour showered over us. We laughed afterwards.

I told myself I won't miss you
But I remember

As my stop came up I noticed Itachi answer his phone, and I quickly exit the vehicle knowing he followed closely behind me. I felt him roughly grab my arm and spin me around. Hatred and anger filled his eyes, and I looked away. He began shouting and shaking me.

What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face

"Stop doing this to Sasori already idiot! YOUR KILLING HIM!" He yelled shoving me into the wall of a building.

"I know that and I'm really sorry."

And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this

"Then why, why do you keep doing it?' Itachi pleaded, glaring at me. I looked up at him nothingness filling my eyes. I couldn't tell him the truth to why I was going tonight. I just and pushed him off of me.

You deserve much better than me
The bed I'm lying in is getting colder

"Tell him he deserves much better than what I could ever give him." I said and ran from the Uchiha. I ignored the pleas to come back. I took a bunch of alley's to get to my destination. It was a rundown apartment building; one I used to live in all the time. Climbing the stairs I didn't have to watch to where I was going, I knew how to get to the roof of this building.

Wish I never would've said it's over
And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older

Walking through the door I saw my dealer standing there. He had his bitch, Hidan with him. The two were fuck buddies, not lovers, fuck buddies; and it made me sick. I sighed and walked over to the duo.

"Do you have the money Deidara?" Kakuzu asked me, Hidan twisting a knife in his hands.

"….No." I said, I grunted in pain when I felt the knife enter my waist.

Cause we never really had our closure
This can't be the end

Shoving Hidan away I ran as best as I could from the two pulling the knife out of me in the process. I felt the blood trickles down my waist and legs. I thanked Kami for today being my all black clothes day. I ran as far as I can waiting at a new bus station. Changing buses every time someone we knew would get on.

I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes

By the time midnight hit, I climbed off at our bus stop and slowly made my way back home. I could feel the life slipping out of me as things begin to blur. I crossed our lawn and stopped by the large oak tree leaning against it. I still loved you Sasori and I didn't want to leave you.

And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

"You deserve much better than a scumbag like me." I whispered feeling the tears fall down my now sickly pale white skin. I jerked in surprise when the light to the porch came on and I saw you come out with hope in your eyes. I sighed and pushed off the tree. My hands in my pocket the right hand keeping pressure on the wound.

"They didn't hurt you?" You asked in a confused voice.

"It doesn't matter un." I say trying to keep my heavy breathing normal. You look at me with those worried eyes, walking over and hugging onto me tightly.

I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes

I cautiously pulled my bloodied hand from my pocket and wrapped my arms around your waist burying my face into your red shaggy hair. Taking in your scent I could feel myself trembling at how much I hated myself right now.

"Deidara?" You ask beginning to pull away, with the last of my strength I tighten my arms around you.

"Don't look at me…just listen okay un?" I say gripping onto your shirt tightly.

And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

"Remember this Sasori, I meant no harm to you. I couldn't think, I wasn't thinking. When you caught me that night, I knew then that everything would be different. I deserve everything, you and Itachi…I know about it. From the beginning I have known. But know this, I don't care, it's the consequence of my actions. Sasori you need to forget about me and move on with your life, okay?

And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
." I finishing saying. I hear gasp when you look down to the ground over my shoulder. I knew a puddle of my blood laid at our feet. You didn't tried to pull away but after a while you gave up. I smiled before pulling my head back and gently kissed your lips. As my breath slowed, I opened my eyes to see you becoming black.

"I love you Sasori." I said before my world finally went black and my soul vanished from broken body.

"I love you to my Deidara." Your words echo into the air me catching them before I am left to face judgment of my actions.

There you go a one shot that I've randomly came up with.