I liked editing this chapter, maybe because I almost forgot about it and it felt as if I'm was not the one who wrote it. Anyway, enjoy!

Lady NiXie


Won't Say Goodbye: Have You Ever

He's leaving.

Haruna turned around in her bed and grabbed her cell phone. It said 2:45. She turned around again, now facing the wall. She couldn't sleep, she could only think about him and wonder what was going to happen. She knew, Yoh had told her, that he was not going to cheat on her or anything. There was no doubt about that. But, even thought, she couldn't help but worry. After all, it was Yoh they were talking about, the really handsome guy who, for some weird and random reasons, was her boyfriend. Who would have though that little Haruna could have a boyfriend so cool?

But, thinking about how handsome and caring Yoh was, was not going to help her fall asleep. She needed to sleep.

'He's leaving' She couldn't stop listening to the little voice in her head who kept telling her that he was leaving and never coming back.

She sat up on her bed and placed her head in her hands. Was there something she could so? She had told him that she was going to be fine, that he could leave, he had to. It was his dream after all, he had something to accomplish and he had to do it at Tokyo. There was nothing else to say. Yoh had told her that he could stay, if that made he feel better, that he was fine with that, that was what he had told her. But she couldn't just stop him from having the future he wanted, could she? Lying back in her bed, she hoped that, if the little voice in her head would stop talking for a second, she could sleep.

--

Before she realised, it was morning. The sun that was now illuminating her room was the proof that she had another sleepless night, thinking about Yoh. She looked at the time on her cell phone and decided that s. She walked to thee just had to go to school extra early. She walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Why couldn't she be like every other girlfriend? Why couldn't she be like the girl in the TV or on the magazine covers? She was so selfish. Always thinking about herself and ignoring other's feelings.

When she was done with the shower, she walked back to her room and putted on her uniform. This was a new day right? And even if she couldn't think about anything else but the fact that Yoh was leaving for Tokyo after their graduation, she had to be a good girlfriend until then, she had to act normally and let him now that she loved him.

She went downstairs and putted her bag on the floor of the kitchen. Sitting on a chair, she closed her eyes until she heard her mother come in the kitchen.

''Oh, Haruna! You scared me!'' She said. '' Wow, you are up early!''

Haruna opened her eyes to look at the surprised face of her mother. ''Ah, yeah.'' Was the only thing she could come up with.

Her mother smiled and turned around. ''Did you had breakfast already? Want me to prepare you something?''

''Heh?'' She had forgotten about it. ''Oh yeah, breakfast.'' Breakfast. She was so lost in her thoughts that she had completely forgotten about it. She was forgetting everything recently. Her mind was so full, full of Yoh.

''Mmm...'' She heard her mom say while opening the fridge. ''How about I prepare you an omelette and would you like to eat the rest of the rice left from yesterday's dinner?''

Haruna simply nodded to everything and kept staring down at the table. She couldn't think of anything to said, actually, she could, but she couldn't speak.

She jumped when she felt a hand on her right shoulder. ''Haruna?'' Her mother stared at her, worrying. ''Are you alright?''

'No, I'm not. I'm not fine at all!' She wanted to tell her how bad she really was, she didn't want him to leave. Not now, not ever.

''I...'' She started but her mother cut her off before she could finish her sentence.

''Haruna.'' She smiled and went back to cooking. ''If there is something bothering, I think you should be able to talk about it, if you can't even talk to the concerned person, then you should at least be able to talk to your mom, right?''

Haruna's eyes opened wide. That's right, her mother was there, wasn't she? She always was. So, how come they never really had a conversation, how come she never talked to her about anything, not even about school?

She was such a bad daughter. A bad daughter and horrible girlfriend.

''Mom.'' She was so mad at herself. Her mother was there, ready to listen to her, help her and give her advices. That was what a mom was about, right? ''I'm-''

''Don't apologise.'' She heard her say before she slightly giggled. ''Its okay, I'm not mad.''

Haruna felt tears forming into her eyes. Why? Why couldn't she talk to anyone about her problems? About her fears? About her?

Because she was ashamed of it, she was so ashamed of her behaviour with Yoh and around her friends that she didn't want them to hate her for being so insecure.

''Mom...'' She whispered. ''Did you ever lost something important to you?''

She heard her mother turn around to look at her. She clearly was surprised and shocked about her question. She wasn't expecting something like that, not at all.

''I did.'' She answered. ''Once.''

The answer of her mother surprised her. She used to think that her father had been her first and only boyfriend. She still used to think that way, but she never really thought about it. Her mother was her mother, and she never realised that was a woman, first.

''What happened?'' Asked Haruna. ''What did you do?''

Her mother walked to her and putted a plate in front of her. The sent of omelette came to her nose and she finally realised that she was hungry. Her mother smiled a warm and comforting smile and then, Haruna knew the answer. As if she had talked silent words. As if her smiled had spoken for her.

She finished her plate in a hurry after she realised that she was running late. She devoured her omelette in less than a second, said goodbye to her mother and left. Her mother's silent words echoed in her head. Like the key clue of a mystery.

'I got it back'

--

When she reached the school, Mami and Asaoka were already there.

''Hey Haruna!'' Said Asaoka. ''You're late!''

Haruna smiled at her. The three of them sat in the library, since it was still too early to go to class.

''So, so you always come at school so early?'' Asked Haruna to the both of them, but especially to Asaoka. She knew that Mami was a good student and it wasn't really surprising coming from her. Asaoka grinded at her sentence. ''No, not at all. But Mami and I had a project to finish together. What about you?''

''I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep anymore.''

The two girls laughed. ''Sounds like something you would do.'' Asaoka got up saying that he was going to buy some juice. ''Want anything?'' He asked.

''I'm fine'' She heard Mami said in her usual calm voice.

''Oh, I'm fine'' Also said Haruna.

Asaoka nodded and left the library, leaving Haruna and Mami alone. They both stayed silent for a moment and when Haruna was about to faint from the pressure of the silence, she heard Mami ask: ''Haruna, are you okay?''

Haruna looked at Mami, wondering if she did of said something bad. ''Me? Yes, yeah I'm totally fine!''

Mami narrowed her eyes. ''I was worried that were still sad about-''

''Yoh?'' She heard Haruna whisper.

She looked up only to see tears falling from Haruna's eyes. This was the first time she couldn't find anything to say and wished that Asami was there.


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