Duck Dodgers

My favourite job, not many people know it was my idea, well when I say it was my idea I mean I said it, I told the story, not for a TV series........ For an explanation, you see it really did happen only I ended up in the 240th ½ century. I really was the hero, of course who would believe that Daffy Duck could be a hero, my friends? Certainly not, family? What family? Strangers? only till some one calls them gullible.

I wasn't frozen. That's not how it happened believe it or not I was being a hero at the time, "the only nice thing I've ever done" according to my friends. What would they know? They don't know me, they don't know about my charity work, the thousands of pounds I've raised and those they do know about well there's always an explanation.


The chance to be in the lime light with out the other toons. Honestly I don't give a shit about the lime light, I became an actor because I love to act, the others say it was for fame and fortune, some even say it was a last resort, after all who would want to play 2nd best...... no last best and what else could poor, stupid, weak, little Daffy Duck do teacher? Scientist? Mechanic?

Don't be daft. After all it is Daffy.

I hate people like that, but what they don't know is that I'm not weak, if I was I would've died the first time I got shot, stupid? Not even close. I've got more A levels then Wile E Coyote and he's known as the smartest of the looney toons with 4 A levels, and I'm not saying he's stupid no I'm not arrogant I know getting just 1 A level is an incredible feat and he deserves to be seen as the smart toon he is but I've got 8 A levels and unlike him none of them are for acting. No one knows about my A levels or strength if the did..... Well I know exactly what they'd say "it's your toon physic" WRONG! It's the training, studying and hard work I've put in to it Jackass!

The Daffy Duck you see in cartoons is not me, I may play him but I am not a shallow, vain, greedy duck the only thing I have in common with my TV persona is our name Daffy Duck... well actually that's not true unlike the other actors both of us are immortal, but that's a story for another time.

I guess that's why I don't care if my friends know the difference between me and my TV persona, they'll be dead soon...... well I say soon but probably not see that's the benefit of being born a toon we, the non immortal ones that is, live for decades, but don't get confused eventually they will die while I keep on going, of course I'll have to change my name by then so as not to draw suspicion.

When I first got the call saying that they were going to use my "excuse" for a TV series (them think of it as that, a fictional story). I was excited what better way to remember and honour my friends from the future. Then I got the script.

I should have known that they would make me out to be a fool, that they would drag my friend's names through the mud; I was outraged, made them change the script too. They refused to change me but they were a bit nicer to my friends. Not much but it was a small victory.

I threatened to walk, didn't want no part of it, they said they'd just find a replacement actor and well I couldn't let them do that, couldn't let someone else desecrate my own name, so I stuck around, made a few changes to the script here and there, again little victories, but I felt so betrayed, that I had betrayed my friends, I still feel that way about it though I've learned to live with it and making sure half my pay check went to a good cause took out some of the sting, well I've made a worse fool of myself for less.

I really did love the queen, I loved her with all my heart but I became immortal she didn't and I could tell that her heart was torn between her love for me and her love for the commander, and well you know what they say if you love something then let it go, so I did I ripped out my heart and ignored the pain for her happiness it hurt I both more then anything I'd ever been through and I've been through a lot, but walking her down the aisle and giving her away at her wedding to the commander, seeing that brilliant smile at the I do's made all the pain worth it. Not only did I give her away but I was the best man too. C and Q are like family to me and I'd die for them as well as the others all over again if I had to, again that's a story for another time.

They really did well with the Cadet. I had a word with Porky Pig, he's a brilliant actor and I couldn't ask for anyone better to play my future sidekick, though I don't think he believed that I really was Duck Dodgers but he could see how important the Cadets image was to me, so he always gave it 110%, but I hate the way they made me treat him, he was my best friend....... not my slave, he saved my butt countless of times.

It's funny if he were to read this I know exactly what he'd say "you're being to hard on yourself captain, you saved the Earth time and time again. Heck you even saved the whole of reality more then once, and it was an honour to work with you and a pleasure to call you friend. I will always treasure our friendship."


It's funny I never knew what a true friend was till I met him, oh sure I had friends before I met him, I'd call my work colleges friends, I threw them parties and came to there BBQ's, I'm really close to the other Looney Toons........................ well as close as I allowed myself to be to them.

You know it's weird the first birthday party I ever had was thrown by Cadet, all I'll say about that is that I didn't have the best childhood, heck if my parents didn't die in that crash on my 14th I probably wouldn't have lived to see my 15th, as it was the present they gave me was enough to knock me unconscious for 4 days. Only 4 people know about that and they saved me from re-walking down the path of self destruction............. or should I say they got me fully off the path.

Since I've come back I've been more open, more sociable and I can now truly call the other Looney Toons true friends, and I owe that to Cadet, the Commander, Queenie and IQ, so thanks guys, thanks from the bottom of my heart.

I just hope they know how much I miss them, probably not as much as they miss me; I am great after all......... ok so I'm a little bit like my TV persona............... just a little.

But still I had a great time, and I wouldn't trade that for anything, and who cares if no one believes me, I know the truth, I know what really happened I.................

"Daffy you're up"

Well time to get back to work, hey it may not be as grand and adventurous as living in the 240th ½ century but hey it's a living.