A/N: It's been forever since I wrote anything for Grey's, but I saw a bunch of these and I was like, alright, I'm up for it. So this is what happened.
Ten Song Challenge:
1. Pick a
character, pairing, or fandom you like.
2. Turn your music player on and turn it on random/shuffle.
3. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering.
4. Do ten of these, then post them.
1. The Time of My Life—David Cook
Somehow, she had saved him. She was certifiably insane, sure. She was still in love with her dead boyfriend, for God's sake. But she had saved him. He felt more alive in these moments than he had felt his entire life. He knew that she didn't love him like she had loved Denny, and still he couldn't be bothered. He was—and as much as he dreaded these words, he couldn't help but use them—completely in love with her. He wanted to give her everything she wanted and more, and he was willing to do whatever it took to do it.
That's why he gave her the ring.
It was romantic and stupid. Romance is dead, he realized that now. He could never do anything romantic. It wasn't in his genes. He'd set up the stupid dinner, and everything was so perfect and so wrong. The wine must have gotten to him or something. He got down on one knee and told her she was everything to him, that he could never imagine himself with anyone else. He told her of the blissful happiness he'd felt since they'd been together…
Was it too soon? He knew they hadn't been going out that long. But still… it had felt so right! It was completely unreasonable to think about the alternative. That really she didn't want to be with him. That really she was still in love with Denny. …he was dead. It's not physically possible to be in love with a dead man!
And yet… she had said no. In one word she had dashed his hopes and dreams.
She gave him back the ring.
There was no one else,
and it was a complete miracle that he could have thought he could
replace her. He'd slept with a complete stranger, and he regretted
every second of it. No, there was no one else. He was in love with
her. He would make this right for her. He would tell her it was okay
to still love Denny. As long as she loved him too. He wouldn't
leave her… no. He couldn't possibly leave her. He would tell her
what he'd done, and he would apologize a thousand times, and then
he would tell her that she made him alive, and there was no other
choice for him than to be with her.
He hoped like hell it would work, because he knew he didn't have another choice.
He loved her like Romeo loved Juliet, and if he had to die for her, he would.
Because he didn't have a choice.
He'd gone back to her, and told her about his mistake, and how sorry he was for ever thinking there could be anyone else. And then he offered her the ring again. He told her it was okay that Denny was still there, that he could handle Denny if it meant she would take him. She was crying when she said yes, but they didn't look like the happy tears he had imagined. He asked if she was sure, and she still said yes, but his confidence was still slightly dashed. Despite her reaction, it still felt like a miracle she'd agreed. He was practically floating on air, he felt so weightless. He so regretted his night without reason, but even his guilt couldn't hold him back from the excitement he felt. She said yes, she said yes… he had to repeat the phrase to himself to make himself to believe it.
He felt so painless, for once. Painless.
5. Point of Extinction—Motion City Soundtrack
He took her out to dinner the next night. She was so beautiful, in her obvious pain. It occurred to him now that she didn't actually want to marry him. He considered withdrawing his offer, but he would let her make the first step. He would let her break him piece by piece… maybe he should just do it. Maybe he should.
Maybe he should redefine what he thinks is beautiful, because his definition of beauty kept leading him to pain.
He held his breath as he waited for her to kill him. He waited while, inch by inch, she slowly built up his hope, when he knew that she would only break him down. He had planned for this time for so long, and now that he was here, he didn't know which way to go. He was so in love with her, but she couldn't return the favor…really he didn't blame her. It wasn't her fault. Love can't help but grow in the most stupid and unexpected places. It had happened to him, too. And now he couldn't let go. He couldn't stop loving her.
He was completely terrified of what she had done to him. But he kept holding on.
And it was so stupid, to think she could stay with him. He knew what would happen.
But he kept holding on.
7. I Fell In Love Without You—Motion City Soundtrack
Was it possible to be in love with someone who didn't love you back? He thought he was in love, but she never even thought about him. It was still Denny. After so many months, and so many tries, he thought that maybe she would give up on him. But she never did. He called it love. She called it convenient. This was so… screwed up. And he thought he'd had it bad before he moved to Seattle. Seattle was breaking his heart.
She'd given him back the ring… again.
8. Light Up The Sky—Yellowcard
He had no other choice
but to tell her, once more, that he was heartbroken without her. That
he would die for her. That there was no other way for him than to
live with her. But she told him that it was impossible for her to be
in a relationship with someone who wasn't Denny.
Well he had news for her. Denny was dead, and there was no way to bring him back, not even in another, parallel dimension. But he was here now, and he wouldn't let her go without a fight.
Apparently not all fights are worth fighting, because she'd walked away with tears in her eyes… again.
He would die for her, he'd said. He was dying, truly. This was death, without the convenience of the heart stopping. He loved her, and she didn't.
He would never be the same again.
9. You Could Be Happy—Snow Patrol
He talked to no one. Not even Joe, which was screwed up. Joe was the only person he could talk to without judgement, and he couldn't talk to him. He didn't want to talk, or think, or even breathe. He wanted to curl up in a corner and end the torture. He didn't want to be alive anymore.
She'll come back, Meredith promised. Meredith, the one person who was never optimistic, was being optimistic. But then, once she'd said that, she walked away. Just like Izzie. Just like everyone who'd ever entered his life. And it was so screwed up that he was comparing his relationship to Meredith, but he didn't have another option, because he was so desperate now that he would consider jumping off a cliff…
If it meant she would love him again.
10. Where I'm Not Wanted—Heath McNease
He gave up. He, Alex Karev, who prided himself on not giving up, gave up.
His last day, only
Meredith seemed to care. She'll come back, she said again. Just
stay. He didn't stay though. He knew he wasn't wanted. By Izzie,
or by anybody.
Seattle had put him back together, then Seattle had broken him. He decided he might as well leave while he was ahead: heart broken, barely breathing, but still alive.
He had no idea where he was going, but he knew what he was leaving behind, and he hoped that someday he would get his heart back.
He sat in the airport alone, just like where he started.