They call me Queen of the World. I'm starting to believe

There are days I lose myself in their praise and blind
myself to their wrongs. I forget that they were OZ...they
were responsible for my father's death. No, that's not quite
right, I should say the man I thought was my father. He was,
in every way but biologically; hence my current situation.

I grew up privileged, content with who I was and my
position in life. Yet in these past months I have gone from
diplomat's daughter to princess to prisoner to queen, all too
fast for me to fully comprehend it. Is it any wonder I've
lost track of who I am? People pull me in all directions at
all times, telling me how to dress and act, what to say and
whom to say it to.

It's not so different from school, I suppose. Everyone
wanted a piece of me then, too. I was the richest girl at the
Academy. I never asked for popularity, but it found me easily.
Through it all I knew who my true friends were, though. I wish
I had such certainty now.

There are times I long for the innocence I once had and
never appreciated until it was gone. All I have now is a
constant dread of the future and what it may hold for me, for
the planet I love, for my brother...Gods, it's strange to
call him that! I spent much of the last ten years believing
I was an only child. To find out that not only did I have a
brother but that he was my enemy shook my beliefs more than
anything before or since. Well, almost anything before....

Just saying his name sends chills down my spine and
raises hairs on my neck, all at once. The coldness in his eyes
when he first made his threat...I believe he would have killed
me in those early days, had OZ not come to kill me. Common
enemies create odd alliances and ours, though tenuous, served
some unfathomable purpose.

A pity we are now enemies.

I saw him in the balcony as I gave my speech today. It
was not a trick of the light, of that I am sure. His eyes
were the same, cold and dark as the steel in his hand. I can't
say with certainty that the click I heard was a round slipping
into the chamber, but I can't imagine what else it could have
been. I glanced away for a moment; when I looked back he was
gone, as I knew he would be. His only other option was
something I'd rather not ponder.

Yet ponder it I must. If Heero and I are enemies, then
there is a great chance I have compromised my ideals for my
life and become that which I so despise...and I am unwilling
to accept that. So I will play their game for now, and when
they least expect it I will show them what it truly means to
be a Peacecraft. I'll prove, once and for all, that I _am_
Queen of the World Nation, not a puppet for them to control.

I pray I live that long.