So, I kind of came up with this idea after seeing Kate Winslet's acceptance speech at the Golden Globes. Sorry if it sucks. Review, please! -Amanda
January 12, 2016
She looked beautiful as always. I stood in awe watching her slide into her heels, her ankle angled slightly with her pale skin glowing. I was absently playing with my tie, pretending to watch myself in the mirror, when all I could do is gaze at her. This girl or woman rather, has had my heart for eight years. The thing is, she still had no idea.
When we finished filming Breaking Dawn four years ago, we swore to each other we would find the right project to work together again on. All wishful thinking, promises were made only meant to be broken. Had I known I'd work with her again, I would have never let her go.
I dated here and there, the longest relationship lastly merely months, but not one person seemed to fill the void in my heart. For the longest time I was clueless to it, oblivious to the feelings that I felt, until finally it him me.
She broke it off with Michael while we filmed Eclipse. She slid into a short depression but overall handled the break up well. I was there when she needed a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to, or vent to, or simply just to sit with her and smoke a cigarette in silence. We were never good about putting our feelings on the line, at least I wasn't, and no matter how many times I tried to tell her how I felt, I stopped short.
Now, here I am, four years later, standing beside her in her hotel room watching her with the same feelings deep in my chest. Knowing I would always stand beside her, as long as she would have me, because I had no where else to go. She was my world, and I would follow her anywhere.
I remember the text I got from her around this time last year. I was in London, visiting my family for the Holiday.
I got a script today. I want you to read it.. you'd be perfect for the part.
Where are you? I miss you!
I'm in London.. you know I miss you too, I'll be in LA next week.
I'll read it when I get back.
Call me when you're here.
So I did call her, as soon as the jet lag wore off. I met her for coffee the next morning at her favorite little diner in the valley.
"Well, look who it is!"
"Shut up, Kris, it's too early."
"Is that the way you talk to your best friend? I haven't seen you in months!"
"A month and a half."
"Look who's counting?"
"Shut it. I have a script for you, remember?"
"Yeah, yeah, give it here. Who gave this to you?"
"My publicist, she thinks it's a good fit."
"What's your publicist worrying about my work for?"
"First of all, asshole, it was given to me. I've already auditioned and got the role."
"You sound surprised."
"I am, I just didn't think we'd find something we would want to do together, considering you're so damn picky."
"I know, but when I read it, I just couldn't imagine playing this part with anyone else. I read the book too, it's a great story."
"It's a book?!"
"I know right? I brought you a copy."
"The Guardian.. sounds gay."
"Just read it, I'm not forcing you into anything. Just think about what I said."
So I read it, the book and the script, over the next 48 hours. It was hard to put it down. Even though it was a love story, it was something I related to in reality. Being a best friend to the girl I was in love with. I had called Kristen and confirmed she had the part of Julie, and that I would be auditioning for Mike. She was convinced that the director and the author would cast me. She was right, rehearsing with Kristen is something that just comes easily for me. It flows in all the right places, especially when it comes to a storyline that is pretty easy to identify.
Well, as you can imagine, I was cast. We worked our asses off, 20 hour days, sleepless nights, just like Twilight all over again. It was awkward at first working with her on such new material outside the bubble of our original films. But, it was refreshing and different and wonderful. We became inseparable again, this time closer than I could have imagined. But somehow, not close enough.
The movie premiered with a bang. We knew we'd get a lot of publicity and box office numbers because fans were eager to see us working together again. Little did we know we won over the critics hearts, too, which led us here today.
The film was nominated for three Golden Globes. Kristen and I were beside myself as learned the nominations.
Best Original Screenplay.
Best Actress in a Drama.
Best Actor in a Drama.
I was nominated for a Golden Globe. But more importantly, Kristen was nominated with me.
"Help me, will you?" Her voice snapped me out of my day dream, as she stood with her back facing me. Her tiny fingers were holding her necklace together. "Can you clip this?"
"Yeah," I cleared my throat and reached for her clasp. My fingers brushed hers lightly, as I clicked the necklace shut. I let my hand rest on the back of her neck for just a moment as she adjusted the front of the pendant.
"There. How do I look?" She twirled around to face me; a smile so broad hung on her lips and took the breath from my chest.
"Amazing. You look absolutely amazing, Kris," I stuttered over her name, as her hands went to work on my crooked tie.
"You don't look so bad yourself, buddy," She laughed as she looped my tie just right. "There, all better. I swear I don't know if you are ever going to learn to how to put on a tie."
"That's what you're here for." I smirked, crookedly.
"Right," Her voice quivered and my heart pumped a little faster.
"What? What is it?" I asked, concerned. I placed my hand over her right elbow to steady her as I was fairly certain she began to sway.
"I can't believe we are nominated for Golden Globes." She pondered. "What the hell were they thinking?" She shook her head and let out a suppressed laugh.
"Well, I just got lucky. You totally deserve that nomination. I always said you were the best actress of your generation, did I not?" I tried to lighten the mood with another crooked smile, but she released herself from my grip on her elbow to go sit on the bed.
"Hey," I walked towards her kneeling down beside her.
"I'm really lucky to have you in my life, you know that? You are an amazing friend, Rob. I don't know where I would be without you." She smiled down placing her hand on my cheek.
"Ditto," I turned my face and kissed her palm.
The line of press was endless as we walked the red carpet, arm in arm. She was nervous, I could tell. We both had a tendency of playing with our hair, and fidgeting whenever we felt anxious. We got the same questions over and over again.
"How does it feel to work together again?"
"Was there any awkwardness on set?"
"Were you planning on doing another movie together?"
"Is there any chemistry in real life between you two?"
Our answers mimicked each others, as I knew they would. Keeping people in the dark is what I was good at.
The show started and my nerves were shooting out of my chest. I subconsciously grabbed Kristen's hand underneath the table a few times within the first hour. She would smile, rub my hand reassuringly, and then release it.
We lost best original score to the favorite of the night. Kristen's category was up next and I found myself silently praying that she would walk away with the award because I don't know what I'd do if she was let down.
They began calling out the nominees and I watched her bit her lip and flip her golden brown locks.
"Kristen Stewart, The Guardian"
Her hand quickly grabbed mine underneath the tablecloth and I smiled to her as the camera came to her face. I squeezed her hand tightly, not letting it go. I felt her pulse through her wrist, beating fast.
"Did you even prepare a speech?" I whispered into her ear.
"I'm not going to win." She stated bluntly. "So, no,"
"And the Golden Globe goes to.."
"You are going to win," I whispered back.
The envelope was unfolded in the presenter's hand. They read silently before leaning into the microphone.
"Kristen Stewart, The Guardian!"
I was on my feet before anyone, her hand still tightly in mine. I brought it to my lips as she began to stand up. The crowd of celebrities erupted in applause, and the love of my life stood up beside me. She looked lost, tears pouring down her cheeks in complete shock. I was smiling from ear to ear helping her out of her chair, before she fell into my arms and hugged me so tightly I could hardly breathe.
"I told you, I told you, sweetheart," I rubbed my hands up and down her back and shoulders, soothing the best I could. She was shaking violently.
"Oh my God, Rob, Oh my God," She started to release me to walk towards the stage. But before she did she leaned into hug me once more, kissing me on the cheek.
"I'm so proud of you, baby," I told her honestly. She looked at the tears welling up in my eyes as more poured out of hers and was led towards the podium.
She took her award from the presenter with grace, although I could still see her hands trembling as she began to lean into the microphone.
"Oh wow, oh man," She exasperated and the audience laughed. I remained quiet as my eyes locked on her as I took in her moment to shine.
"Rob just asked me if I wrote a speech and I told him no," She breathed out and I laughed. "I really didn't!"
"Okay, so I'm going to try to do this off the cuff," Her chest heaved slower as she began to calm down. "This is really unexpected; I promise you I had no idea, with all the talent nominated tonight. This is the least expected."
"First off, let me thank the Hollywood Foreign Press for this honor. I want to thank my publicists, Nicole and Sarah for giving me the opportunity to work on this film. Thank you to all the cast and crew, set, and producers, you all know who you are."
"To the wonderful author of this book, Nicholas Sparks, for bringing the characters on the page in the first place, thank you. The director, who brought his deep vision to these vivid, detailed characters to the screen, who broke us down, worked us up, and really dug his heels into such a brilliant screenplay. Thank you, Sam. For making this page by page into a wonderful translation into film, thank you Melissa.
"Thanks to my mother and father, for everything they have given me and inspired me with. My family, I love you all."
"And to the most important man in my life.."
My heart stopped, I watched as her eyes found me sitting at our table.
"Rob," The silent tears in her eyes turned to full sobs as she croaked my name. I blew her a kiss instantly, trying to soothe her.
"I am so happy I can stand here today accepting this award with you by my side. You have always been by my side, even sometimes when I didn't want you there." She choked out a laugh and the audience did the same. I was staring at her beautiful tear stricken face as I listened intensely.
"Your performance in this film is beautifully extraordinary, and you deserve to be standing here tonight and I pray that you do," She sniffed slightly. "I can proudly tell you tonight how much I love you and how much I've loved you for eight years,"
I laughed silently as I felt a tear slide down my cheek. The audience clapped as she spoke and laughed along with her.
"You have all of my heart, you truly do, and I hope you know that," I nodded and blew her a kiss. I mouthed I love you.
"I love you," She said strongly. "And always will."
She exited the stage with grace and I got to my feet and applauded loudly. I hadn't realized that she had just confessed to the feelings that I have been feeling. She has been feeling the same for all these years. Now, an insanely gorgeous woman of 25, but still the same 18 year old girl at heart, was mine.
I didn't win the Golden Globe that night, but I honestly didn't care. I just wanted her to have her moment in the sun, because she is the reason I am here. The reason I became the person I am today. She is everything.
We made love the first time that night. There was no awkwardness to speak of, nothing but pure passion, love, and lust. I held her in my arms that night as we watched the car headlights dance across the ceiling. I strummed my right hand against her bare arm as my left one combed through her hair.
"I really wish you won tonight," Kristen told me quietly running her hand across my chest.
"It's okay, I was only worried about you," I reached down to kiss her forehead.
"Did you write a speech?" She questioned, lifting her head to look at me.
"Yeah," I admitted, bringing my fingertips to her cheek.
"What did it say?" She asked as she sat up, smiling widely. I pushed her back down into my arms giving her another small kiss in her hair.
"It doesn't matter," I stuttered, embarrassed.
"It matters to me! Please tell me," She pleaded and I couldn't refuse.
"Okay, how about I just tell you the end, how's that?"
"Okay," She tilted her head onto her hand, supporting it from her elbow. I spoke from memory.
"I remember meeting this girl when she was 17 and thinking, wow, am I dreaming? Do I really get to work with this girl? Now, after all these years, I get to work with her again, on something she brought to me in her favorite diner in the Valley. "
"Working with you has been a dream coming true in every aspect. You are one of the most talented actresses I have ever met. You took my breath away when I met you eight years ago, and you still have it today. I love you with every fiber of my heart. I love you with every inch of my soul. Thank you for making me the person I am today, Kristen. I owe it all to you, and this award is for you. I love you."
I kissed the top of her and head and shut my eyes, recalling this day as the first day of the rest of my life.