Spock: Acting Captain (Me: No! It's just Captain!), there seems to be a growing angry mob in the distance. Their proximity seems to be drawing nearer as we speak.

Captain: *looks at "audience" fearfully* A-heh... N-now I know it's been a-a while, but, you see, it's been really hectic here. I'm moving, I'm depressed, I have tons of school work, and I haven't been sleeping well. Tons of excuses, I know, but seriously, I really do apologize to all those I've kept waiting. I promise I know intimately how that feels and it sucks donkey nuts. My reasons are legit though so please try to understand. I will also warn you that this chapter is rushed, made at 4:30 in the morning, and un-beta-ed right now, but I felt you all would appreciate if I just posted it as soon as I could so I'm going to put it up un-beta-ed for now, but hopefully I can get this beta-ed at a later date. Now, this isn't my best writing, not anything near it in fact, but I figure something's better than nothing, right Spock?

Spock: ... *raised eyebrow*

Captain: ... Apparently not. Well, anyways, hope you can at least tolerate it's awfulness! This chapter is a little bit longer than the first in hopes to try and make up a little bit for the long wait. Behold my awesome spelling powers of FAIL! READ ON!

Chapter 2: Of Insults And Innuendos

Naruto turned slowly, quite annoyed with being interrupted during his attempt at strangling the young brunette. A few seconds after turning his head a few degrees back he noticed that the voice's owner was right behind him, like back to chest. So he did the most logical thing any person would do in this type of situation; he jumped sky high, whorled around, and screamed, albeit girlishly.


"Mah, mah…." The stranger began with his pinky in one ear as if in an attempt to sooth his shattered eardrum. "You're a loud one aren't you, gaki?"


"I wonder if you're this loud in bed."

"W-WHAT'D YOU SAY?!" Naruto was crimson red at this point, his eyes practically the size of saucers.

"I said, I wonder if my eardrum's dead."

"WHA--- OH! YOU JACKASS!!" Naruto yelled as he swung his fist at the mask clad face, but quicker than he could fully register and react to, the man grabbed his wrist, pulled it to the opposite side to hold it at the opposite arm's shoulder as he did the same to the other free hand. Now standing still, it took Naruto a moment to catch up with what had just happened. He was now standing with his back firmly pressed into the, loathe he admit it, strongly muscled chest of his assailant, arms crossed over his chest like a mummy, as the strange grasped his shoulders firmly, but gently with his own hands stuck in between.

And just when he thought matters could get no worse… the man chuckled at him. CHUCKLED! The audacity!

Who the fuck does he think he is?! Naruto raged in his mind.

"You might want to make sure you hit what you aim for," the man's voice whispered into his ear teasingly. "Otherwise someone might take advantage of your miss."

"Oh yeah!? Well, sorry I'm not a bat with a homing signal for bastards! LET ME GO!!"

The figure chuckled that infuriating chuckle again and replied,

"Now why would I want to do that? Besides, if it makes you feel any better, I for one think you would make a very cute little bat."

"What the hell?! Bats aren't cute!! NOW LET ME GO, ASSHOLE!!!"

The figure seemed to pout.

"But where would the fun be in that, my little kitsune? Besides, it's so cold out here and all, I'm freezing and you're so warm and cuddly. I'm sure I could help to keep you…hmm… warm as well?" Kakashi raised a suggestive eyebrow as he purred his sentences. This young man is so fun to tease, thought Kakashi

"AAHH! Pervert!" Naruto then began to struggle all the more in a futile attempt at freedom.

"H-Hey! Let go of Naruto-nii-chan!" Konohamaru yelled when he finally came back to his senses. He moved to the door flap at the side of the coffee counter and quickly exited, trying to get to his brother figure's attacker. Before he could reach though, the man had already released Naruto and stepped away from him.

"Mah, mah, I was only joking!" The man seemed to stop and consider the young brunette that had been previously advancing towards him. "Are you his lover?"

The question seemed innocent enough, the man who asked it, not so much.

"NANI?!" Was the collective exclamation issued from the blond and brunette duo.

The man again seemed to check his ears for hearing damage.

"I do believe I shall be deaf within the hour." He muttered despondently whilst the two younger men continued to fume in shock and what may have been unadulterated horror at the man before them. Truly, this man could not be for real.

Just then, the young girl whom had been standing behind the blond in line got fed-up with all of the waiting and rudely grabbed the cup of coffee the young woman working at the stand had prepared for the blond, seemingly knowing what to fix him out of familiarity, and shoved it into the still shocked blonde's hand and roughly pushed him forward. The series of events that followed were… devastating to say the least. Or, well, at least to him they were.

After having a scolding cup of pumpkin flavored coffee (because really that's what he always got and Moegi knew that) and simultaneously being shoved rudely out of the line's way, he proceeded to collide, AGAIN, with a well built chest, but this time with the slight variation of spilling coffee upon said well built chest.

There was a moment of silence.


"Mah, that hurt…"

Naruto screeched for what seemed to be the millionth time and flew back while apologizing over and over again.

Luckily, Moegi, with her sharpened and well honed mother-hen instincts of which she took great pride in, rushed from around the counter, grabbing a napkin dispenser as she went, and then proceeded to usher the young blond and silver-haired man to an out-of-the-way table while commanding Konohamaru to quite staring and get back to work.

After she settled the two of them down, one still dazed from the events that had just transpired and the other looking for all-the world like this shit was on his to-do list, she then asked the "to-do list man" if he would like some type of beverage.

"Ah, no tha-" the silver-haired man began to reply.

"I'll pay." The blond piped up, his soul finally deciding to return to its poor, dazed master's body.

"Okay then, who am I to refuse when someone else is paying?" The gray-gay (definitely his new name from now on) replied with a wide smile and ordered his chosen beverage. When Moegi was gone, off to fill the order, the blond could only stare after her as his mind kept repeating like a haunting echo "Who am I to refuse when someone else is paying?" What the bloody fu-

"Mmm, my shirt is ruined." Was the sentence that interrupted (derailed, crashed, burned, and mutilated) his precious train of thought. The statement was quickly followed by an exaggerated sigh of depression.

This sent a new precious train of thought out of the Grand Naruto Station. What the hell should he do? He had just spilled coffee all over this guy's clean (expensive looking) shirt. Yeah, the guy was a pervert and a complete asshole, but he was still a person and that fresh coffee had to have hurt being as scolding hot as it was.

"Um, yeah, gomen. I didn't mean to do that. Um, would you like to borrow a shirt?"

Naruto knew this was a bad idea, but hell, what was he supposed to do?! Where was Mr. Clean when you needed the bastard?

Kakashi looked at the blond contemplatively. Telling from the clothes the blond wore now, he didn't have near as nice of shirts as he himself owned. He probably didn't have near as many either… yet, if he were to borrow a shirt from the blond, that would mean he would get to see where the blond lived, it also gave him the needed excuse to come back. Not that he really needed excuses, but they were handy on occasion. Smoothed over the process, you know?

"Sugoi. That'd be wonderful. Arigato." He replied to the clearly fidgeting blonde. Heh, he was cute when he fidgeted…

"Ah, um, great! Well, I guess we'll just wait for your coffee and then be off then?"

"Mm." Kakashi nodded his head in assent.

"Um, so, what do you do… ?" The blonde trailed off.

" Kakashi." Kakashi had no fear of the blonde recognizing him as famous for he always went under different aliases, plus the blonde didn't seem the type to fawn. Not that he would mind being fawned over by the blonde, quite the contrary…

Across from him, Naruto sweat-dropped at the James Bond way the odd man had presented his name.

"So, Hatake-san, what do you do for a living?" Kakashi frowned at the formalness with which he had been addressed.

"Call me Kakashi." Before the blonde could argue, he continued. "I am a professional photographer. I take photos for whoever wants to hire, usually magazines, but I've done the occasional book or two."

The blonde seemed to light up at the interesting topic he had just been presented.

"Oh! That's cool! I bet you get to see a lot of new and interesting things!"

"It comes with its perks." Kakashi said with a small smile, enjoying the young man's enthusiasm.

"Sugoi!" The blonde exclaimed with wonder lacing his voice. "Can I see some of your photos?" His eyes seemed to sparkle with curiosity. Since when did curiosity sparkle in people's eye? Kakashi wondered. And if so, he wondered if it hurt…

Looks too cute to hurt, he thought with a smirk.

"Nani? You want to see some work by little ol' me?" He batted his eyelashes in mock-modesty as he began to pull out his camera to see if he could pull up the photos he'd taken just that day, but then Moegi returned with his coffee and Naruto stood up, effectively distracted. So Kakashi slipped his camera back into its case and stood to take his cup whilst Naruto paid for said beverage. Kakashi did actually feel kind of bad about that. After all, he was the one with the most money and could certainly pay for his own. The accident was also clearly not the blonde's fault. Oh well.

"Bye, Moegi, Konohamaru, Udon! See you guys later!" Naruto shouted to his friends as he turned to leave with Mr. Gray-gay.

"Bye Naruto-nii-chan!" They all shouted back to him.

And with that, the blonde turned with the silver-haired man following after, the chilling winds of October nipping at their skin.

"So Mr. Gray-man," Naruto began conversationally as they fell in step beside each other, walking alongside the busy street, "What do you usually take pictures of?"

"'Mr. Gray-man?'" Kakashi asked with a knitted brow and low chuckle.

Naruto blushed.

"Well, yeah, you kind of remind me of this manga character I read about; the manga's called D. Gray-Men."

"Oh? And how is that?"

"Well, you both have silver hair and you both have something going on with your left eye." Naruto shrugged. "By the way, why do you have that patch on your eye anyways?" He tilted his head curiously.


"Mah, come closer and I'll tell you…" Kakashi whispered conspiratorially. Naruto leaned closer, obviously extremely curious.

Kakashi grinned evilly, it's diabolicalness only hidden by his mask.

Kakashi leaned in, his lips almost brushing the blonde's ear, and whispered in a husky voice what he knew would send the blonde almost ten feet up in the air, "… Mystery."

And I was right, he thought as he watched the blonde jump sky-high.

"NANI?! Mystery?!" The blonde looked dumbfounded.

"Hai, hai. Ladies love a man of mystery, especially when it comes to what I can do in bed." Kakashi said whilst grinning madly beneath his mask.

"P-Pervert!" The blonde screeched and plugged his ears. He looked positively scandalized; Kakashi snickered at that. "Absolutely –"



"Ita, that hurt Naru-chan!" In response to his (fake) pain, all he received was a glare. "Nani? It's all true! I swear!"

"Yeah right! And don't call me 'Naru-chan'! I'm a boy damnit! How do you even know my name?" The blonde was cherry red; Kakashi liked cherries…

"Really? Because you look too small to be a boy, plus you're falling for my mysterious ways as we speak, right? Oh, and when your little brunette friend is shouting your name for the world to hear it's kind of hard not to."

"NANI?! You wish! You're nuts! And I am not small; I'm vertically challenged!"

"Mah, who feed you the line that you were vertically challenged? That's just another big way to say you're short." Kakashi teased.

This seemed to infuriate the blonde even more.

"For your information, I –" But the blonde suddenly stopped as he looked past Kakashi at something over his shoulder. Kakashi turned to see what it was.

It was a small apartment complex, red brick on the outside, black metal terraces, and green plants crawling out from the flower boxes. It didn't look to be the most special place in town, but it looked comfortable and inviting. Perhaps the October month's winter chill enhanced that affect.

"Ah! We're here!" Naruto exclaimed, grabbing Kakashi's hand and practically dragging him to the stairs at the side of the building and proceeded to do so till they had reached the 9th floor. Kakashi, of course, wasn't exactly what you would call unwillingly pulled along…

Naruto pulled out what looked to be a set of well-used keys and shoved them into the door's lock. With a few seconds of jiggling and muttered curses, the door finally gave in and opened a little to quickly. Naruto stumbled forward a bit then awkwardly turned back to invite Kakashi in, who, up until that point, had been looking on amusedly.

Kakashi took a look around as he stepped past the blonde, though the doorway. The place was nice, yet oddly seemed to be lacking… something.

There was everything a home needed, nice furniture, nice TV, good flooring, and all that jazz, but something felt off.

Naruto noticed his staring and inquired as to its cause.

"Nothing, nothing. It just seems to be missing something, that's all." Kakashi replied sheepishly. He didn't want to offend the blonde, but he also didn't want to lie. For some reason, that just seemed to be one of the most awful things he could do.

"Nani? Really?" The blonde said contemplatively. His lips quirking to the side and his brow creasing just a bit, he seemed to pout in a put upon confused manner. "I think so too, but Sasuke-kun never let's me decorate a lot around here."

"Sasuke-kun?" Kakashi had a sinking feeling in his stomach, kind of like all of his organs had been previously held in a bucket and all of a sudden someone dropped it. Naruto seemed to notice none of this and just plowed on talking.

"Yeah! He's my boyfriend, we've been dating for – oh gosh – one year and a couple of months? Maybe two?" Naruto answered.

"Ah." Was Kakashi's short and dispassionate reply.


That word now left a bad taste in his mouth.

Boyfriend. Hmmm, on the bright side, it definitely wasn't a position of certain permanency. That made him feel a bit better.

"Oh, almost forgot, your shirt! Here come with me."

Kakashi followed him down the hallway to a door positioned towards the end. Naruto opened the door and ushered him inside, but told him to wait right in there while he went into the walk-in closet to fetch him a new shirt.

As he waited he noticed a picture at the side of the bed on one of the nightstands. Bored, he decided it was a good way to occupy him self, but as he picked up the photo his eyes widened. There, in the photo, was Naruto, not surprisingly, but next to him was a broody looking raven-haired young man, plain expression and folded arms. It looked like the guy didn't even know how to smile. This though, was not what startled him; it was the fact that he recognized the young man as looking like the one he had photographed, not but a few hours before hand, kissing an angry looking redhead. Could this be him? Certainly not… but what if it was? What if, through some weird string of events, he had photographed Naruto's boyfriend kissing another man, and by the looks of it, worse. The man had been exiting the apartment with the redhead in the early morning that always meant either two lovers with early jobs or two lovers who weren't supposed to be seeing each other. He felt an awful churning in his stomach as he looked up to see Naruto exiting the closet with a shirt in tow, smiling broadly.

"Look-y here! None of my shirts'll fit you, but Sasuke's will! Though, they might be a bit small, heh." He finished sheepishly.

Kakashi nodded while smiling, trying to cover up the quickly storming emotions that were picking up speed by the minute.

"Arigato, Naru-chan!" He said to brighten the mood, well, his mood anyway.

"Don't call me that!" Naruto yelled in irritaion.

"Mah, mah," Kakashi waved his hands in front of himself in mock-defeat. "Gomen…" he paused. "Naru-chan."

"Baka! You're annoying me on purpose aren't you?!"

"Me?" Kakashi asked in faux astonishment. "Never!"

"Urgh! Okay, okay! You got a shirt, I'm leaving so you can change." Naruto then turned to storm out.

"B-but Naru-chaaaan! What if I need help? There's a lot of buttons here!" Kakashi was cackling madly on the inside by the time Naruto's burnt red face turned to look at him.

"P-PERVERT!" The blonde spluttered before turning and slamming the door closed.

"Mm, I wonder if that's his new catch phrase?" Kakashi wondered to himself then proceeded to snicker. Looking down at the shirt though, quickly sobered his thoughts. What if this guy, Sasuke, the owner of this very shirt, was indeed cheating on Naruto? Would he tell Naruto? Would he confront the guy? Would he - ?

A thousand similar questions stampeded ungracefully through his head.

Only one-way to find out, he guessed. When the pictures were completely developed, then he'd see… He'd see if he needed to ruin some raven-haired pretty-boy's life.

He slipped the shirt on quickly and proceeded back out of the bedroom and into the living room where Naruto was fiddling with some papers.

"What are you doing?" He inquired, peering over the blonde's shoulders to try a get a good look. Naruto jumped, startled by the sudden reappearance of his annoying houseguest. He looked over at him and replied,

"Going through my papers for my college. Second year there and all."

"Nani? Which college do you attend?"

"Konohagakure No High."

Kakashi's face split into a slow, evil smile, one which could only be described as fitting to a cat who'd caught the canary.

"Ah, is that so? Nice one, right?"

"Mmhm! Great! I really enjoy it there and I'll be able to go back to it in about three days." Naruto smiled in excitement, whilst unknowing to him due to Kakashi being behind him, Kakashi's evil smile spread mincingly wider.

"I'm glad. Well, I'd best be going. I've got a job to get to."

"Ah! Right!" Naruto stood up and turned to lead Kakashi to the door. "It was nice meeting you. Again, sorry about the shirt; I hope it didn't cost too much."

"It didn't." Kakashi fibbed, he just didn't want the blonde to feel bad. "It was nice meeting you as well, and thank you very much for the replacement. I'll make sure to return it."

"Oh, don't worry about it. It's not mine anyways." Naruto grinned cheekily at him and laughed while opening the door to let Kakashi out. "Sasuke's got enough shirts, you'd think he was some kind of model with all the outfits he has set up."

Kakashi laugh lightheartedly with him and stepped outside, beginning to make his way down the steps as Naruto bid him a farewell from the doorway. He waved and said,

"Later… Naru-chan!" Then smirked as he heard the cursing being thrown his way. He began to make his way back to the parking lot where he had left his bike, all the while thinking,

Won't this be interesting?

Finis For Now

Spock: *eye twitching*

Captain: *sighs* I know... that bad, huh?

Spock: ...

Captain: Oh well! At least I get to sleep now! Please, everyone review! The reviews get me motivated and inspired. Thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far! Your support is greatly appreciated. :D Please continue!

Live Long And Prosper!

*cue Spock Vulcan nerve-pinch*