AN:

Don't become like me.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but the story is based on events from my own life. The song "Romance is Dead- Parkway Drive" Does not belong to me either, though it doesn't fit the story exactly, it's what we used to play all the time when drifting.

I know people don't want to know about my life, they're only interested in reading what I write. Take this story as a warning though.. It's not worth it.

Hidan laid on Deidara's bed cackling wildly. His eyes glazed over and bloodshot.

"Man I'm so fucking stoned." He laughed again and closed his eyes. Taking up most of the room on the double bed. Deidara sat next to him on the edge of the bed whilst Kisame and Itachi took up the last remaining spots of the double bed.

Deidara grimaced as he heard his mothers voice stating that she wanted the boys to keep quiet, giving Deidara at disapproving look before slamming the door shut. The blonde turned back to Hidan.

"Thanks a lot un. You fuckhead, what did I tell you about talking about that shit when my mother was around un?!" Deidara muttered out with frustration.

"Oh fucking chill out blondie, she was bound to know anyway. I mean fucking hell, she used to deal it. So if she can't fucking recognize the symptoms then she's fucking stupid." Hidan replied with an annoyed tone.

"You don't understand Hidan un. " Deidara sighed and left the room. Heading out to the kitchen to find his mother making a cup of green tea.

"Mum...un?" Deidara called out quietly.

He got a stony cold silence in return. Deidara lowered his head in shame and left the kitchen. Instead of returning to his room he opened his front door and threw himself down on his verandah and lighting a cigarette. Hidan had been right about his mothers past. Everyone in is family had some kind of past with drugs. His father used to deal all sorts of drugs ranging from weed to cocaine. He used to get so high and beat his mother and his sister. The blonde couldn't remember it much, he was only two at the time, His mother took him and gave his sister to their grandma. She had fallen pregnant with his sister when she was only sixteen. His sister was never raised in a loving environment. Their mother tried her best for her two children but life has its cruel ways.

Only a year a go Deidara promised he'd never turn to drugs for escape and money. He'd finish college and get a good job, maybe become an artist. He loved his art. Now though, he didn't even his eleventh year. When he started college he had no friends at all, He met his first true friend..First true love in his art class. A quiet red head named Sasori. Though he was quiet Sasori was quick tempered and the two often fought about pointless things, but the love was there always. After meeting Sasori, Deidara got to know the red head's friends. He began to get involved in taking drugs and binge drinking. He soon no longer had any interest in attending classes, his whole life was taken over. Sasori despised the life Deidara was now living and blamed it on himself. Though he was friends with them, he never got involved in their actives.

Deidara held in a sob and pulled out his phone clutching it in his slightly shaking hand. The blonde took a long drag of his cigarette that was held in his other hand. A single tear rolled down his pale face as he stared at his text message he shakily typed in, weed running through his system making it difficult to push the correct buttons as his speed was been warped with hallucinations.

Im sory Danna.. Ive srcewd tngs up gain...Im so srry..I loev uoy

The blonde pressed send before taking another drag. Inhaling the harsh toxic smoke into his lungs before exhaling and blowing the smoke into the night air. The light breeze blew the smoke away as well as softly playing with his hair. Picking up strands and dropping them again. Another tear fell and he rubbed at his face. He stared down the stairs, watching the flowers in his garden sway softly. Deidara shook his head as the flowers began to move until they were almost staring at him. Why...why do I do this to myself..? I hate so much it un..Yet I can't stop..

"Come on fucker. We're going for a fucking drive!" Hidan yelled out as walked out the front door and down the verandah steps. Kisame and Itachi following closely behind. The blonde stood slowly and followed them, there was no point in staying here. His mother would never forgive him for this. The blonde climbed into Hidan's small car. Sitting behind the white haired foul mouthed male.

"You fuckers better hold on." He laughed then pulled out of the driveway. Car tires screeching loudly.

Deidara sighed and rested his head against the window. The car's movement making his head hit the window repetitively. He was too out of it to even care. The blonde felt something hit his leg, looking down he found a bottle of vodka, still half full. He pulled it up and took a long swig. Feeling and elbow jab him in the side. Deidara turned and gazed at Itachi blankly. The black haired male stared back coolly.

"Deidara. You are not allowed to drink vodka." Itachi stated dully.

"I don't give a fuck 'Tachi un! Why shouldn't I un?!" Deidara huffed.

"You know what happens when you drink it."

"Whatever. You can't tell me what the fuck to do un."

"Hn. Don't say I didn't try and stop you."

The blonde seventeen-year-old glared at Itachi and took another long swig. A small burning feeling gnawing at his throat, the burning hardly effected him anymore, he was used to drinking vodka straight from the bottle that there was only the tiniest burn as the strong alcohol hit his throat. Deidara knew Itachi was right, he wasn't allowed to drink vodka. Everyone but Hidan tried to stop him from drinking it. Deidara would go through too many moods, insane, happy, stupid and then he'd crash. He'd come down so fast that he'd never remember how he started crying, he'd never remember how that blade got into hand and how that scar got on his leg. Yet he couldn't pull away from the temptation of the liquid poison..It took everything away..

"What the fuck's wrong with you Hidan? You're going so slow! Speed the hell up you pussy." Kisame yelled out loudly from the passenger seat.

"Fuck up faggot or get the fuck out of my car." Hidan snapped out before pushing down on the accelerator. The small car steadily rose in speed. They were now soaring down the highway at 150 k/pH. The males laughed wildly.

Hidan turned off the highway and drove into a small suburb. Bins lined the streets. Hidan grinned and turned to Kisame.

"You know what the fuck to do." He stated and grinned before slowing the car down to stop.

Kisame lent out the window and grabbed the bin before Hidan started driving again. Once they reached a sharp corner Kisame let go of the bin. Sending it flying and smashing into another car with a loud bang. The bin shattered the car door and exploded rubbish all over the street. The silver haired male laughed and took off, pulling back out onto the highway.

Deidara looked down as he felt his black phone vibrate in his pocket. Pulling it out he saw that Sasori had replied to him.

You're getting stoned and drunk again aren't you brat? Tch. I'm getting sick of this, you keep promising to stop yet you never show any signs of it. Stop fucking me around, make a choice Deidara. Drugs or me,

The blonde started at the phone, his hand shaking violently. Sasori had never threatened him like that; he only ever told the blonde that he disapproved. Tears splashed down onto his phone, the black phone dropped onto his lap. Deidara felt a hand snake around his shoulders and pull him close.

"See Deidara.. I warned you.." Itachi whispered into the blonde's ear.

Deidara looked up at Itachi, tears falling down his pale face. The black haired male lent down and captured Deidara's lips in a forced kiss. The blonde was so inebriated that he returned the kiss. The males were locked in a passionate kiss.

"What the fuck are you doing blondie?!" Hidan cried out after looking in his review mirror, spying the two kissing males.

"Mind your own fucking business Hidan." Deidara snapped back.

"Sasori's not gonna be fucking happy blondie."

"Yeah well he won't fucking find out will he un? Or Kakuzu will find out your driving drunk, stoned oh and without your fucking license un!"

"What fucking ever. Just don't fuck in my car you asswipe."

Deidara rolled his eyes and sought out Itachi's lips again. The black hair male found the top of Deidara's black cargo pants and undid the buttons. Shoving a hand down Deidara's boxers and grabbing his semi hard member. Steadily pumping him, making him harder. Deidara let out a soft groan and let his head fall back on the seat.

So many feelings were running through his head..so many questions but the main was chanted over and over.. Why..why...why....why....why...oh god why... Deidara always knew he'd been depressed since sixth grade. The only times he ever felt happy were though moments a blade sliced his skin or when vodka rushed through his blood stream and weed was inhaled into his lungs... Deidara frowned. No. That was wrong. There was Sasori..His Danna always made him happy and now he was going to lose him.. Choose him or drugs.. Deidara knew that he was meant to choose Sasori but he couldn't turn his back on his habits. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he wasn't addicted and he could stop anytime. It was all lies though. He was so far in that he'd never get out. This is how he was going to die.

It was a bleak way to live but he just didn't care anymore. He lost everything important in his life. His sister to an overdose. His mother because of his own mistakes. His hopes of becoming an artist and now Sasori..his Danna..his true love... oh god why...

Hidan pushed play on his car CD player. Turning it all the way up.

The incisions is your wrist were all for show.

Just like you.

He epitome of self indulgence.

Another farce.

Deidara turned his head and looked out the window. Noting with slight interest it was raining heavily. Itachi was still pumping his member and he let out soft moans, to be honest he didn't feel it but he wanted to keep Itachi happy.

A charade and another set of crocodile tears.

So serenade her with your last pathetic suicide love song.

"Broken hearts never mend".

But fools never move one.

And now she's gone because of you.

The blonde teenager began to feel empty. He took drained the rest of the vodka bottle and moaned for real as Itachi replaced his hand with his mouth. His tongue wrapping around Deidara's member. Deidara opened the window and threw the bottle out, shattering it on the road, glass sprayed everywhere.

And once again You're the epitome of pure self destruction.

Cupid never found his mark.

As we await the insertion of blades on flesh.

You part the skin and tell of blades on blood.

So part the fucking skin.

"Are you throwing shit outta my car blondie?! And for mother fucking sakes I swear to Jashin if there's any fucking cum in my car I'm going to rub your fucking nose it in you fucktard." Hidan yelled out over the open window, the wind ripped through the car before Deidara closed it again and smirked at the review mirror. Hidan rolled his eyes before turning them back to the road and muttered.

To tell the blades on blood.

She said "I Love You"

She said.

She said goodbye.

So cry me a fucking river bitch.

You wouldn't know love if it crushed you fucking chest.

Deidara knew he was coming close to release, after Itachi deep throated him and sucked him as hard as possible, Deidara felt himself shudder as he released. Itachi consumed all of Deidara's seed before sitting up. The blonde felt a wave of sickness wash over him. Why... what have I done un..? Why... why...why...why..WHY!?

Let go.

The blonde pushed Itachi off him, and looked out the window once more. Realizing they were heading up to the Domain. The most popular place to drift. Normally the blonde wouldn't feel anything from drifting around the corners that lead off a sharp drop but tonight..it was raining..It was too dangerous. It was too late though, he'd never be able to stop Hidan... The blonde felt hatred leaking into his system. Hate for himself. He had no concern for his own life anymore. He grabbed his forgotten phone and looked at the text message once more before replying.

You wouldn't know love if it crushed your fucking chest.

"Razors, roses and a black tomorrow"

They never showed any affection to anything but your ego.

A tragedy of errors at the best of times.

I'l alwys chose ouy danna.. alwys... I wnt to chnge..plse help me..pleaese...

You are everything that's wrong with me.

Youre everything that I despise.

You are everything I dreamed would die.

Deidara pressed send. This was it. This was the last night he'd ever let himself be dragged into this world. Sasori was his world and he wasn't going to lose him for something as stupid as drugs and alchol. Deidara would change for his Danna. His phone vibrated as he got a reply from Sasori.

Good. I'll help you every step of the way brat. I love you.

Deidara smiled lightly, his Danna loved him...he'd be there.. Deidara knew now he could do this. He'd change his life and get himself out of this self-created hell. The blonde felt the car turn sharply and the car drifted around the corner sharply. Hidan yelling out loudly with excitement. The car raced up to the sharpest corner on the domain. Sliding along the wet road, Hidan swore as he felt the car lose control and begin to roll inside of pulling out of the corner.

You are everything that fades away and slowly dies.

The blonde felt his heart race fast as the car rolled down the road; the guardrail was racing up to them. The screaming sound of the car tearing across the road echoed in his ears. Kisame screamed out loudly and Hidan laughed. Deidara noticed that Itachi had already passed out. Deidara stayed quiet. It was going to end..everything..just when things were going to change.. it was the end.

Will you bleed for me when suicide seems so yesterday?

Time was always against everyone. It always there, ticking slowly for some and fast for others. For Deidara it was ticking too fast. In seconds it would be all over.

Will you bleed for me?

"Sasori..Danna...It wasn't enough.. I'm sorry..I love you un.." Deidara's final thoughts flashed though his head.

Will you fucking bleed for me when suicide...

The car slammed into the guardrail. Ripping the car apart. The rail went straight through the car, slamming into Deidara's stomach. His eyes widened as he felt the metal slice open his fragile flesh. Organs were ripped to shreds on the impact.

It's so yesterday.

The car had stopped. There was only silence now. Deidara couldn't hear Kisame's grunts of pain or Hidan's laughter. He couldn't hear the sound of his blood dripping or the sound of the fire shooting up around them. This is what his life lead him to.. It was nothing but hell. Self inflicted hell. He created it, he never stopped it.. Now it was too late to change. It was over.

It's all so fucking yesterday