Okay so this is my first twilight fanfic, so I wanna know what you all think so please if you can R & R. This is basically a random idea, that came to me on one of my usual insomnia moments. You'll either love it or hate, that pretty much all you can say about my writing. I haven't written in a while, so It may not be up to my usual scratch. It's a bit too slushy & depressing at points too. But hey I'm very critical towards myself, so I'd like to know what everyone else thinks. I love twilight….Edward & Bella 3
Disclaimer: I unfortunately, do not own anything (apart from very much read copies of 4 very special books) it all belong to SMeyer who is a pure genuis fro inventing this world.
Today was my birthday. And not just any birthday. No, today was my 21st birthday. Apparently, to most this was a day for celebration. For me it's more like a day of depression. Although for me, practically every day was full of depression, birthdays were always even worse. For birthdays reminded of that day, that particular day, my eighteenth birthday, the day that changed it all, the day that ruined my life - forever.
I woke up, way to early as per usual, darkness still hung in the sky, the only light visible came from the street lights several blocks away, silence hung in the air, the only noise was the distant traffic & the faint humming of the birds in the nearby forest. I looked over at my clock it read 4:00 am great, just great.
There was no way, I could get back to sleep, not with the reminder of the burden that was today. Insomnia wasn't unusual for me these days, this was natural for a college student I suppose, but my lack of sleep wasn't caused by last minute studying or from frequent visits to wild parties. No it was much worse it was caused by loneliness. Even in the days that I got a good night sleep, I resented it, for I have now learned that your dreams are not real, not even if you wish so badly for them to be. And naturally I dreamed of him…of Edward.
I lay there, for a moment, not really thinking, just listening to world going on around me & waiting for my eyes to slowing adjust to the night sky.
I don't know how long I lay there for, it could have been seconds, could have been minutes, could have even been hours, but just lying there, just lying there silent in the room, I felt for the 1st time in years whole, that same girl I had been, as if I was not alone, as if someone else's presence was in the room.
And then I heard it, as clear as anything I had heard before, clearer than any of my foggy human memories, though the words were merely a whisper.
"Happy Birthday, Love!"
I swung up, as quickly as my body deemed possible. Surely I couldn't have imagined that, not that musical angelic voice that I had not heard for nearly 3 years. I looked around the room, wishing that my human eyes would let me see more in this dull darkness.
Yet, I saw nothing, nothing at all, just my vacant dorm room, with its monotonous cream walls & carpet & lacklustre furniture.
I figured that must have been my imagination, after all this wouldn't be the first time I had imagined his beautiful voice. But this time, this time it was different and I don't know how it just seemed all so real.
I lay back down, for no particular reason apart from to clear my head. Today, of all days, part of me had wondered if I could actually enjoy this birthday, but of course that was impossible now, not now, not now that I had been reminded of it all….of them…of him.
I closed my eyes, wishing that the world would just swallow me whole and end all of this misery.
I found myself, starting to daydream, picturing an event that seemed to happen oh so long ago, it was us just us in our meadow, together, that 1st day, the happiest day of my life so far, more than likely the happiest day I would ever experience in this short life of mine. And even though my memory was gradually starting to fade, I could remember that day, as if it was yesterday. I was pretty sure this was day I could never forget.
This image should have filled me with feelings of melancholy, maybe even hatred, but it somehow made me feel not happy no that was an emotion that I was lost to now but somehow serene, like nothing else mattered.
"You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever" He had said, and oh I wish how that would have been true, if it was then he would never have left, he would be with me now, I would more than likely be like him now.
My memories drifted to later on in that day, that night, that night that he had stayed with me.
" Are you sure you won't vanish in the morning" I had asked. " You are mythical after all" And then he had replied "I won't leave you."
One single tear trickled down my face, as I reminisced his words he said he wouldn't leave but he did, what's worse is that he was never coming back - ever.
My mind let the memory continue, hearing his voice, if only in my mind, it upset me of course it did but it also comforted me.
I was suddenly reminded of that familiar lullaby, a song too exquisite & beautiful, to be dedicated to me, but it was or rather it had been.
I hummed along, the tune though I hadn't heard in such a long time, I knew so well, it seemed natural to me.
As I started to drift away, into dreamless slumber, I heard a sound much too harmonious to be my atrocious drone, humming also to my lullaby.
Part of me, wanted to snap open my eyes, but sleep was already taking a hold of me & I would simply be fighting a losing battle.
And then, as just as I took that final step from consciousness to my dreams for the 2nd time that morning I heard that angelic voice.
"I will always Love you, Bella."
I found the will, somehow to fight for those remaining seconds against the dreams that awaited to speak, whether this was my imagination or not I did not care, I had to say it.
"I will always love you, Edward."
And then on that last second, as my fatigue had surely won its battle, I heard something way to pure & real to be anything produced by my thoughts - his laugh.
Okay, so what did you think people. You made it this far, so it obviously cant be that bad. I need all your help actually, I'm stuck between several ideas for this fanfic, I either want to make this into a series of drabbles when Bella either hears/sees/reminisces Edward through out her life, or I could go on with the rest of the birthday story & what happens throughout this day or I could always just leave it as it is. What do you think??? Please Review, they make me so so so happy.