Cellphones

By Shounen-Ai

Warning(s): There will be one-sided NaruSaku and NaruSasu


Cellphones.

Naruto received his first cellphone when he was thirteen years old as a birthday gift.


At first, he didn't understand why he needed the stupid thing. It was a pointless device that was only use to chat to friends and family. He had no family, and his friends would never give the hyperactive boy their numbers. They liked when their sleep wasn't interrupted during the nights. Once Naruto had got his cellphone, he had did what any idiot would do. Gawk at its shiny case and find humor in the small thumbprints that would become visible on the cool metal. Then after twenty-five minutes of this, he'd finally ask: "Why did you get me a cellphone?"

Now, Naruto isn't the brightest canyon in the box, but he knew when something is up. He was suspicious of his friend who had bought it for him. Sasuke Uchiha was the idiot who had bought him the cellphone. When he had asked Sasuke why, he was only given the answer of this: "Idiot. You need one so I can know where you are." Now, Naruto was use to Sasuke being overprotective. It was what best friend's did for each other....right?

They slept together. (not that way you perverts.)

They eat together.

They showered together. (.....)

They even hugged when they felt like it!

To Naruto, this was what best friends did.

To Sasuke,...well...Sasuke's just a pervert.

-

"Naruto. I put my number on speed dial. Call me once your...date is over." Sasuke gritted his teeth together as he handed the device to the nicely dressed boy. Naruto beamed up to the boy and nodded. "Ne Sasuke. Do you think Sakura-chan likes me now?! She's-she's actually going on a date with me!" Naruto giggled excitedly, imagining the perfect date the two would share and ending it with a kiss, like in the soap operas! Sasuke gave a 'hmph-ed' and glared down at the innocent carpeted floor. Naruto noticed Sasuke's behavior and rose an eyebrow. "Are you alright? Your acting more bastard-ie then usual."

"Bastard-ie isn't a word, moron."

"Hey!"

"And I'm fine...I just have a stomach ache.."

"What?!" Naruto placed a hand on Sasuke's stomach and rubbed it gently. "Your sick? Why didn't you tell me?! I'll cancel the date with Sakura-chan and take care of you!" He reached into his pocket and pulled out the silver cellphone. While Naruto began to dial Sakura's number, he didn't notice Sasuke's expression soften at his worry. Before he could put the earpiece to his ear, the phone vanished from his hand. Naruto blinked, looking around. "What happened...?" he blinked again, finally realizing that Sasuke had taken the phone and hung up, just after hearing Sakura answer.

"You don't have to do that...just go have fun."

"But-"

"Have fun you moron."

"Bastard!"


Cellphones.

Naruto was fifteen when he began to understand that he couldn't live without his cellphone...or texting..they brought him chances for free food!



Where r u bastd?

...text correctly moron.

U BASTD!

I'm at the cafe if you want to know so badly.

CAFE?! FREE CAK?!

....Cak?

...CAK!! CAKK!!

....Oh. Cake. Yes, free cake if you come in the next fourteen minutes. My shift will be over soon.

ON MY WAY!

..Moron.

BASTD!



Cellphones.

Naruto was sixteen years old when he figured out that he hated voice messages.



Voice Message 1:

Time/Date: 9:24 am, Thursday: April 25th

Moron. I stopped by your house and you weren't there. So call me when you get this message. You know I don't like when your out my sight for to long. You usually end up hurting yourself or getting in trouble. And this time, I'm not bailing you out of jail.

BEEP

"BASTARD!"

Voice Message 2:

Time/Date: 12:02 pm, Thursday: April 25th

Hello Naruto-chan! Its Sakura! Well, we've been dating for three years now, right? Well, I was wondering how....THE HELL DID YOU FORGET TODAY WAS OUR ANNIVERSARY?! IF YOU DON'T COME TO MY PLACE BEFORE 8PM, I'LL KILL YOU AT SCHOOL ON MONDAY!!......Bye Naru-chan!

BEEP

"....." Looks at clock.

"AH! ITS 1AM!!!"

Voice Message 3:

Time/Date: 8:16 pm, Thursday: April 25th

Naruto. You moron. Sakura just came over and tried to kill me thinking I was hiding you out! You better call her soon or else I'll be the first to kill you. She broke my fucking door and your paying for it with your money.

BEEP

"..." Looks in empty wallet.

Voice Message 4:

Time/Date: 9:45 pm, Thursday: April 25th

Naruto...where are you? You've haven't answered any of my messages yet. Your making me worried, and you know Uchihas don't get worried.

BEEP

Blinks confused.

Voice Message 5:

Time/Date: 11:33 pm, Thursday: April 25th

This is Sakura and I'm pissed now idiot! Where are you?! Call me NOW or else! Your worrying Sasuke-kun and me!

BEEP

"...I'm gonna die."

Voice Message 6:

Time/Date: 11:35 pm, Thursday: April 25th

Naruto. Its Kakashi. Sasuke called me and told me you went missing. Call me when you get away from your kidnappers. Bye!

BEEP

"...." Sweat drops.

END OF MESSAGES

Naruto sighed, settling on the couch. The reason why he had missed all those calls were due to the lack of cellphone service in the forest. Yes, forest. He had went off to Mount Fuji for some alone time and fresh air. Stress from school, girlfriends, best friends, and life had gotten to him. He needed a break and just left without telling anyone where he would be or how long he'd be gone. He knew he was gonna die by the hands of Sasuke and then Sakura once she revived him.

He scrolled down the list of numbers and clicked Sasuke's.

Time to face the music.


Cellphones.

Naruto was eighteen once he realized that cellphones contained interesting games to tune out Sasuke during his PMSing times....but they also got him into trouble as well.


"Naruto."

Silence.

"Naruto."

More silence.

"Naruto..."

Giggling.

"....."

Woots and cheers.

"MORON!"

"WHAT?!" Naruto looked up from his cellphone and glared at the Uchiha. "Can't you see I'm busy playing Paceman!?" He quickly zoned the enraged Uchiha out and continued munching of the temporarily blue blob monsters. "Ha! Take that you evil mutants!" He cheered as the game took him to the next level. Naruto waited patiently for the game to load, never noticing Sauke appear in front of him. Once the game fully load and Naruto was prepared to whoop more butt, but the cellphone vanished from his fingers. "EH?!" He snapped his head up to Sasuke and gasped. "NOOO!! BASTARD! STOP!!!" He cried, reaching up for his precious phone. Sasuke ignored him; clicking the end button to the game and then threw it onto the other couch, ignoring it.

"AH! YOU BASTARD! I WAS ON LEVEL 51!!!"

"Too bad. I was talking to you!"

"....your such a whiny girlfriend. Why did I dump Sakura-chan for you?" Naruto muttered.

Sasuke twitched at the nickname and words that followed along.

"I'm your boyfriend and you dumped her because you thought you could dress me up in girl clothes."

Naruto scrunched his eyes closed. "...oh, that's right.....and you act more like a girl."

"..."

"...its true!"

"..." WHACK

Naruto sat on the floor, holding his broken nose.

"OUCH!! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

Sasuke crossed his arms.

"Moron."

"BASTARD!!"


Cellphones.

Naruto was nineteen once he found out that wrong calls lead to relationship problems.



"Whose number is this?" Sasuke laid on the crisp sheets of his new bed. Naruto and Sasuke had gotten into the same college and had been their for at least two weeks. He now was going through Naruto's phone from boredom. Naruto looked up from his textbook and munched away on the salty chip that he had placed in his mouth seconds ago. "What? What number?" He was confused. Sasuke usually knew whose number was who since they shared the same friends.

Sasuke rolled onto his belly with Naruto's favorite toad pillow in his arms. He held out the phone, showing him the distance call number. Naruto looked it over, searching his mind to see if he could remember the number. He couldn't, so he shrugged. "I don't know. They must have called the wrong number." Naruto returned to looking at the textbook of difficult mathematics.

"....Naruto."

"Yeah?"

"....so, if you did know who this was....who would it be?"

Naruto looked up again.

"What?"

"...nothing.."

"No 'nothing'...you think I do know who it is!"

"...hmph..you should since this person called at least twelve times in four days."

"So! They called the wrong number and don't know it!"

"Your a lying idiot. You do know."

"Sasuke....shut up." Naruto rubbed his temples in annoyance. Sasuke was such a jealous idiot. He wondered what would happen if he ever broke up with him. 'He'd probably turn into one of those stalkers in the movies and kill off every new lover I get..' Sasuke sat up, offended by the comment. "Don't tell me to shut up Uzumaki! Your cheating on me aren't you?!" Naruto's eyebrow shot up into his bangs.

"WHAT!?"

"Yeah! You are!!"

"SASUKE! LISTEN TO YOURSELF! YOU KNOW I'D NEVER CHEAT ON YOU!"

"LIAR! YOU WOULD! I SEE THE WAY YOU BEEN LOOKING AT THOSE GIRLS IN OUR CLASS!"

"WHAT?!! SASUKE! DID YOU FORGET THAT I'M GAY?!"

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU COULD BE JUST PLAYING WITH ME AND YOU COULD REALLY BE STRAIGHT!"

"SASUKE! STOP ACTING LIKE A GIRL! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!!"

Sasuke looked at the phone, quickly memorizing the number, and then dialed it in.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?!"

"I'M CALLING YOUR LITTLE SLUT!"

"SASUKE!..UGH!!" Naruto threw his hands up, officially pissed off by Sasuke's sudden behavior. He was such a drama queen, it was crazy. You'd think he, Sasuke Uchiha, the ice princess of Japan, wouldn't act this way. He sometimes wondered if he had bashed out a few of his brain cells from their weekly rounds of sex. He looked up to Sasuke, watching him impatiently wait for the person to answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"...yes, this is Uchiha Sasuke, and you are?"

"....Mikage Seto? Okay then, Mikage, do you happen to know that you've been calling Naruto Uzumaki's number these pass few days?"

"...You did?" A glare was thrown in Naruto's direction.

"Well, I was wondering why you have been calling him so much...."

"..I see....hmmm...a old friend from his neighborhood........well, get this through your head you little slut. HE'S MINE! BACK OFF!!"

Sasuke slammed his finger onto the end button.

"SASUKE!!"

Sasuke threw the cellphone behind him, not caring where it landed.

"She won't be calling anymore."

"SASUKE! MY PHONE!!" Naruto shrieked, gripping his hair. He most definitely heard a loud crash.

"Hm. I'll get you a new one."

"....."

"...."


Cellphones.

Naruto was twenty-two when he learned of a delightful feature to the phone....but soon regretted ever using it.


Naruto's new bright orange cellphone buzzed loudly from its place on the couch. Naruto looked over to it and saw who was calling him.

'Sasuke.'

He ignored it and continued reading his comic book.

The phone stopped.

Two minutes later, the phone buzzed again. Naruto looked again and saw the caller.

'Sasuke.'

He then pointy ignored it.

six seconds later the phone rang...again.

Naruto released a sigh and looked to it again.

'Sasuke.'

He grabbed the phone and twitched as the phone finally stopped ringing.

Naruto went back to reading his comic.

Soon, half a hour passed and the ringing phone had rung at least over one hundred times and Naruto was still counting. "THAT'S IT!" He sat up and held down on a certain button. He watched the screen freeze for a second before turning completely black. The ringing was forever silence for the day and Naruto couldn't help but smile. "I love you." he kissed at the button. On the side of it were the words: Shut down.

Naruto was at peace.

But it shattered when anger footsteps could be heard outside the hallway.

"IIDDDIIOOOTTT!!! YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO PICK ME UP!!"

Naruto paled, remembering about Sasuke's job interview halfway across the city. He knew what to do when it came to these times. Naruto hid under his bed and prayed to the Gods above he wouldn't be meeting them anytime soon. Suddenly a hand appeared and tugged him from underneath his hiding space. He was sure he had met face to face with death himself.

"Uzumaki.."

Naruto gulped and closed his eyes, hoping he would give him mercy.


Cellphones.

In the end, they are just crappy machines that get you into bad situations. ....well....maybe just Naruto.

End


Shounen-Ai's Note: PLEASE READ MY PROFILE SO YOU CAN FIND OUT MY REASONS FOR NOT UPDATED SINCERELY, SASUKE YET! Thank you for reading my story and I hoped you all enjoyed it.