After I read Midnight Sun on Stephanie's site I was totally intrigured by the idea of how Edward saw the world and his relationship with Bella. Then I finished Breaking Dawn and it was my favorite book ever! I hate a hard time with some of it, like a lot of fans out there, but I generally love it! That got me thinking, what was Edward thinking? This was what I came up with.
Before I begin this chapter I just want to re-iterate that this is Stephanie Meyer's work and characters. I have borrowed them to play with. This is Edwards Version of what happened in Breaking Dawn ( the first book anyway). I hope you enjoy and please do let me know what you think! Review it if you like, I'd always like to hear opinions!
Breaking Dawn, Edwards POV
I'd lived many decades. I ran into my share of monsters, being one myself. I'd never felt the need to run from them, I was fast, I was strong. But this, this was different. How do you run away from yourself?
I knew this day was drawing near, but it had been something I was dreading and something I knew I could not live without.
She was everything I wanted. She was everything I needed and I knew what I much do.
But how do you kill the one you love?
Chapter 1. Engaged
I was in my room listening to music, trying to relax. Bella had wanted some time to run out and pick up a few things. Ever dependant, I knew that she wanted to go on her own, so I let her without even the slightest hesitation (that she could see). I desperately wanted to go with her, but I knew that she would be safe.
But, here I sat. Alone, in my room. While she was out there alone I worried about her safety. She was so very breakable, and trouble never had any difficulty finding her.
I must admit, I did worry about her a little less knowing that she was in a safe, reliable car. Her Chevy truck had finally died...with a little bit of help from Rosalie ( who was starting to warm to the idea of having Bella as a sister, even though she wasn't pleased that Bella could so easily give up her human life to become one of us).
After her truck had...died, I delighted in her promise to allow me to buy her a new car., which she would only allow after the truck was officially done. I knew she wanted nothing spectacular, but I needed her to be in the safest vehicle possible. I happened to know someone at a Mercedes Dealership in Europe and he got me in touch with the right people. The car, The Guardian (perfect name if you were to ask me to watch over my Bella), hadn't even been released in Europe but I managed to finagle one.
It was perfect. Better than I'd hoped! It was virtually indestructible, exactly what my destructible Bella needed. It had missile proof glass and four thousand pounds of body amour. You could even take a flame thrower to it and not even damage the paint. Perfect in case of car accidents or falling trees or too aggressive ware wolves.
I knew she would be embarrassed by it. It was much too extravagant for her. She had been hoping to see a Toyota or a Ford or even another Chevy, at the very least one of the symbols she knew. Se had been embarrassed and overwhelmed when I revealed the car to her.
"What is that?" She asked incredulously after I brought her outside to look at it when it had first arrived.
"Why, Bella, it's your new car of course. Don't you like it?" I asked, a little of the excitement had faded from my voice, having done it intentionally knowing she wouldn't make too much of a big deal about it if she knew she would hurt my feelings.
"Of course Edward, but it's too much." She replied as she put her hand to my face.
"Don't worry, it's only your before car anyway" I hadn't actually meant for that little bit of information to slip out yet, but I had been distracted by her lovely chocolate brown eyes.
"My what? Before what?" She asked stunned.
"Well, this one is actually a loaner. After...." I started to say it, but it was still so difficult to think about the moment I dreaded, the moment that I knew would come all too soon, the day her heart stopped beating. The day I killed her. "After you become one of us." I whispered my voice so low I'm sure she barely heard it. She knew that despite how much I loved her, this was not an easy topic for me to discuss.
That effectively ended the conversation and she murmured her thanks, only a little grudgingly, with some of her sweet kisses.
Yes, that day was coming quickly upon me, a hard day it would be. I began to feel myself wallow. I decided this would not be how I spent my day. I turned my thought to a day much closer at hand. A happy day, a joyous day and one I couldn't wait for. The day I would finally make Bella my wife. I lingered over the words in my head; Bella, my wife. She would be my wife and I would be her husband. I remembered, with a smile, the day we had gone to tell Charlie that we were engaged.
She fidgeted the whole time. She finally agreed to wear my mother's ring. It meant more to me than she could even imagine and I held her hand tightly in mine so she would stop trying to hide her hand in her pockets. I had head Charlie's cruiser well before she did and she tensed when the sound reached her and continued to fidget more.
"Stop fidgeting, Bella. Please try to remember that you're not confessing to a murder here"
"Easy for you to say." She grumped.
Charlie was walking up the sidewalk and I could tell she was listening closely, tensing with each step he took.
"Calm down, Bella." I whispered as I heart her heart rapidly accelerating. We heard the door slam and Bella jumped.
"Hey Charlie," I called, feeling fairly confident.
"No!" Bella hissed under her breathe.
"What?" I whispered back.
"Wait till he hangs up his gun!" I chuckled and ran my fingers through my hair. She was silly. As Charlie came around the corned in his uniform he made a face, clearly still upset it was I who was sitting with Bella, he would have preferred Jacob to be the one she loved, however he did try to be civil.
"Hey kids, what's up?"
"We'd like to talk to you," I said "We have some good news." He was suspicious immediately.
"Good news?" He growled glancing right at Bella.
"Have a seat Dad." He raised an eyebrow and stared at me. I knew exactly what he was thinking. He stomped over to his recliner and sat on the very edge of his seat.
"Don't get worked up, Dad," Bella started to say. "Everything is ok" I grimaced at her words. Okay? It was more than okay. If it were me I would have used words like wonderful or perfect or incredible, but certainly not okay. That was like calling Bella simply pretty.
"Sure it is Bella, sure it is. If everything is so great, then why are you sweating bullets?"
"I'm not sweating," She lied. She was indeed a little sweaty, but she looked glorious, then with that thought I had to remind myself to focus.
She leaned into me for support as she wiped the sweat from her forehead. As she did this, Charlie's thoughts became very clear and panicked; I barely had time to decipher them before he shouted.
"You're pregnant!" Charlie had exploded. "You're pregnant, aren't you?" And although the question was meant to be for Bella he was glaring directly at me.
"No! Of course not." Bella shouted. I knew she must be upset; this was exactly the thought she told me people would have when we told them we were getting married.
Charlie relaxed slightly believing what Bella was saying. "Oh! Sorry."
"Apology accepted." Bella said, stalling. There was a long pause and I realized that they were waiting for me to say something. Bella looked at me with panic in her eyes. I could tell she couldn't do it and needed me to step in. I smiled at her, squared myself and looked directly at her father.
"Charlie, I realize that I've gone about this out of order. Traditionally, I should have asked you first. I mean no disrespect, but since Bella has already said yes and I don't want to diminish her choice in the matter, instead of asking for her hand, I'm asking you for your blessing. We're getting married, Charlie. I love her more than anything in the world, more than my own life, and – by some miracle she loves me that way too. Will you give us your blessing? After a moment I saw Charlie's eyes shift, his eyes were now locked on Bella's ring.
Bella held her breath beside me as Charlie started to change from fair to red, red to purple, purple to blue. She started to get up tentatively. "Give him a minute." I said so only she could hear as I softly squeezed her hand.
The silence was long, very long for Bella. But in the silence Charlie started to return to his normal color. His lips were pursed and his eyebrows were furrowed. He was deep in thought. He studied both of us for a moment. As his thoughts seemed to clear, I relaxed and I knew Bella could feel me beside her.
"Guess I'm not that surprised," He grumbled. "Knew I'd have to deal with something like this soon enough. You sure about this?" He demanded after he heard Bella sigh.
"I'm one hundred percent sure about Edward." Bella said without skipping a beat.
"Getting married though? What's the rush?" He asked, suspicious again.
Bella and I both knew the rush. She was getting older everyday and didn't want to appear too much older than me. She was turning nineteen and I would always be frozen at seventeen. She knew that the only way I would change her would be if she was my wife. She wanted to be one of us so badly she was willing to give up everything she had been taught. Of course these were things we couldn't share with Charlie.
"We're going away to Dartmouth together in the fall Charlie," I reminded him. "I'd like to do that, well, the right way. It's how I was raised". I explained shrugging.
I could tell from Charlie's thought that he was searching for an argument but we all knew he wasn't going to find one. No one wanted their daughter shacking up with their boyfriend.
"I knew this was coming." Charlie muttered. Then he was almost happy.
"Dad?" Bella asked anxious, clearly afraid he was having a nervous break down. She glanced at me and I tried not to frown at Charlie's thoughts. I knew they were probably right.
"Ha!" Charlie burst with a chuckle and Bella jumped. "Ha, ha, ha!" We watched as Charlie doubled over in fits of laughter.
"Okay fine," Charlie choked." Get married," More laughter. "But..."
"But? What?" Bella demanded.
"But you have to tell your mom! I'm not saying one word to Renee! That's all yours!"
And that was how we first told anyone we were getting married.
I remembered how Bella had been terrified of telling Renee, probably even more than she was about telling Charlie.
"Well Bella," Renee had begun after Bella finally managed to tell her she was marrying me. "I'm a little miffed that you waited so long to tell me. Plane tickets only get more expensive. Oooh." She'd worried and wondered if Phil's cast would be off in time.
"Back up a second, Mom," Bella gasped expecting more of a reaction. "What do you mean, waited so long? We just got en-en..." She'd stuttered with the word, still having trouble with the concept. "things settled, you know, today.
They chatted for a while and Renee was surprised. She seemed to assume we were heading in that direction when we were visiting back in April. And then Renee had surprised her buy telling her she was not making a mistake, that's what Bella needed to hear.
For the past few weeks, although I wouldn't say Bella has been excited for the wedding, but she hadn't been dreading it either.
I had been pleased because Renee and Esme had been in such close contact. Renee seemed to love Esme as most people did and they hadn't even met.
Bella didn't need to do a single thing for the wedding. For one, even if she wanted to, I'm not sure Alice would have let her anyway. She was having such a great time with the flowers and the decor and the menu for our human guests. For another I didn't want her worrying about anything unnecessary. She had been through so much with the Mutt and Victoria and the Volturi breathing down our necks. I knew she was trying to prepare for the day that I dreaded. I wanted her to experience everything human that she could before she never would be able to again. I let her sleep as much as possible this was as much for her as much as it was for me (I loved watching her sleep in my arms although I wouldn't miss those nightmares she was always having. I fed her as much as possible, something new everyday.
Plus I knew that Charlie was stressing her out more and more. He had been counting on Renee to be the heavy but was sorely disappointed.
Today I knew that she would not be happy. Although Alice did everything in her power to keep her mind away from Bella's wedding dress so as not to spoil my surprise at seeing her on our wedding day...our wedding day, what a glorious thought! I still had picked up from Alice that today was the final fitting. The time to make sure that Bella's dress would fit her perfectly.
I tried to picture Bella in a wedding dress. I thought of so many styles. Bella in a long, white flowing gown. Bella in a long, white, slinky gown. Bella in a big white, pouffy gown. Pictures cycled in my head, each one more beautiful than the last. I knew there was no way I could be disappointed. I knew she would look perfect in whatever gown she had chosen. I smiled, and all my worries about changing her and the Volturi and the mutt disappeared. She was my Bella and I was her Edward. And I was there with her. I was in my happy place.