Oh. Em. Gee. Himuro Hikaru is BACK, peoples!!! If you have not read volume twelve of the manga, GO TO THE NEAREST BOOKSTORE AND BUY IT RIGHT NOW!!! God, they should pay me for this…XD. Hikaru is SO SEXY. I cannot even express with words how sexy he is now, and I'm an author. And he is such a fucking badass. Sorry, I know this fic is K-plus, but only that word can come close to expressing the magnitude of the sexy and ultimate badass qualities of Himuro Hikaru. Anyway, the majority of what I want to say I will say in the chapter itself, so I shall now end this rant, however much I want to rant some more. XD.
Wait, no, I'm not done. I have now resolved to cosplay Hikaru at some point, as his fashion sense has also improved massively; however, it shall only be for one day of a convention, because NO ONE will know who I am; even less people have read series two manga than have watched the anime, which is not loved. XD.
Warning: I'm not doing a warning. If you're on chapter 2, you know what you're getting into. XP. Wait, no, I should probably warn you that the first-series characters are going to randomly morph into older versions of themselves.
Hikaru Himuro and Taro Otohime had been standing, horrified, in front of the entrance to Wiggles World for however long it has taken Lu-chan to update.
And Taro, realizing that the fic had been taken off pause, promptly fell asleep.
Hikaru made an irritated noise in the back of his throat and kicked the younger boy hard.
"Wait, younger?" asked Hikaru.
"And did you just get about a foot taller?" asked Taro, feeling rather odd about being shorter than someone. Hikaru had an inner special moment as he realized he was the tall person again.
"Yes," said Lu-chan from the sky. "He did just get about a foot taller. Because on February 8th, the first time I could get to a freaking bookstore, I purchased volume 12 of Dragon Drive. You may also have noticed that his fashion sense has improved greatly, his sexiness has exponentially grown, and he is even more of an epik badass. He also has scars on his face, which makes me kind of sad, but there are only two, and he seems okay, so it's all right I guess…"
"And why exactly can I not open my eyes?"
"I don't know, and shall not until at least April, when the next volume comes out. It makes me sadface, because you have very pretty eyes. Now go find the idiots. For some reason, you seem to be even better at perception and stuff without using your eyes, it's weird."
Hikaru rolled his eyes invisibly.
"Well, maybe it'll be useful; after all, I won't have to see Wiggles World."
"Aww, lucky," said Taro sadly. "I wish I could do that, but if I tried, I'd run into stuff."
"Yes. Yes you would. Now follow me, I think I sense Silver's ANGUR."
"Your brain is still off, isn't it?"
Hikaru sighed and blew a piece of hair out of his face. He then proceeded into the world of the Wiggles, shuddering as he crossed the threshold and felt the evil Wiggle energy swirling around him. He could see why Silver had ANGUR. Well, not see, per se, but you know what I mean.
"Please shut up, Lu-chan."
They soon came upon Silver, who was threatening small children with very sharp swords; Kouhei, who was riding a stupid-looking aircraft with a plastic Wiggle in the seat next to him, flying ten feet above the ground in a thirty-foot circle; and Rockaku, who was clearly somehow drunk, laughing maniacally, and gleefully shouting obscenities at the gyrating Toki.
"Well, this is interesting," said Taro.
Hikaru, who could "see" the scene in his mind's eye, agreed.
"So what, do I have like radar or something?"
"For the purpose of this fic, yes, something like that. I'm just going with you being able to see everything, just not have your eyes open, because it's easier that way and I'm not really sure what your deal is yet."
"Whatever. Hey, Silver. Leave the small child alone or we'll get kicked out. Rockaku, give me the drink; you've had too much already, I'm over twenty-one, and I hate you people. And Toki, get off the freaking ride, we are going on something GOOD."
Silver sheathed her swords grumpily, Rockaku denied firmly that he even had a drink (having dumped it in a plant and being terrified of what Hikaru would be like with alcohol), and Kouhei squeaked in terror and fled off the stupid aircraft as soon as it landed.
"Now where is everyone else?"
"I dunno, I don't pay attention to these things," said Silver. "I just maimed three Wiggles because they tried to convince me how cool their rides were, and then I ran into these idiots. I don't even know how I got into this pl—it was Lu-chan, wasn't it?"
"Yes. In this fanfic, I am GOD! Hahaha. I win."
"I hate you, Lu-chan," said Silver.
Lu-chan laughed maniacally. She wasn't done with them yet.
"Hey, I sense stupid. I think it's Ozora," said Hikaru.
Hikaru then walked off toward a mini carousel, upon which Reiji clung like a barnacle to a very strange-looking creature and babbled nonsense to himself. He was comically too large for the thing—which had been built for small children—as he had recently morphed into a fair-sized twenty-four-year-old. He was slightly shorter than Hikaru, but not as lean; after all, his past ten years had been spent in his own comfortable dimension.
"Reiji, stop being such a wuss and help us find the others," said Silver loudly. Reiji jumped violently and fell off his demented steed; clearly, the Mind Eraser had erased what mind he'd had left and scarred him for life.
The carousel finally stopped after a few minutes, and Reiji flopped like a rag doll onto the ground. There was a collective sigh of exasperation mixed with amusement on the part of Silver and Taro. Kouhei laughed out loud. LOL'd, if you will.
"Hey, why didn't he morph? And why haven't Rockaku and I morphed?" asked Silver.
"Because I haven't seen what you and Rockaku look like in the second series yet, and Toki kind of died at the end of series one, so I dunno what he'd look like in series two."
"You've got to rub it in about the death thing, don't you?" asked Kouhei, pouting. "Can't you even guess?"
"I hate you."
"I know." Somehow, even though they couldn't see Lu-chan, they sensed a smirk from above. "Hey, guys? You think you want to go find Sumishiba, Meguru, Takumi, Neko, Kenji, Maiko, and Hagiwara?"
The gang looked up at the sky incredulously.
"No," said Hikaru.
"Too bad. It's not your choice. It's mine. I AM GOD!!!"
"Oh my. It seems that Lu-chan's gone mad with power," said Hikaru mildly.
"How are you so calm about this?!" cried Taro.
"Have you met me?"
"Sumishiba seems to have calmed down a little bit; he's just kind of wandering dazed throughout the area. Meguru is on the mini Ferris Wheel. The series two idiots are all now on that stupid airplane thing you found Toki on, and Hagiwara is stalking Maiko near one of the stages. Go round them up; I'm getting bored with this."
After much complaining, kicking of Taro as he attempted to go to sleep because rounding up idiots was boring, and the maiming of another Wiggle who approached them without the consent of Silver, they finally decided to split up, find their idiots, and get the smuck out of Wiggles World. Silver had been designated to watch Reiji and Kouhei, and was very grumpy about that. She was wielding her deadly swords again, and small children fled out of her path.
"Wow, bloodlust," said Hikaru, who could feel the ANGUR and wishing to murder coming off of Silver in waves.
Silver stomped off toward the Ferris Wheel to find Meguru, one of the few people she could stand. Taro was designated to go get Takumi, Neko, and Kenji; he was threatened with death if he fell asleep and delayed their leaving by even one more minute.
"Oh no. No," said Hikaru. "I do not want to go find these people. Sumishiba, fine; I don't think he wants to kill me anymore, and I could pwn him anyway, but seriously. The Reiji-stalker and her stalker? Really? Do you truly hate me, Lu-chan?"
"No, Hikaru, I love you. And the more you ruv someone, the more you want to kill them…"
"Kidding. This song from Avenue Q is stuck in my brain. And there's still Rockaku, remember? He's going to find the stalkers and sucker punch them so they don't give any trouble. You just need to find Sumishiba."
Hikaru began to stalk around Wiggles World, searching with his mind for Sumishiba's presence and skirting the birthday party of a random three-year-old.
"Mommy, why's he walkin' with his eyes closed?" asked the tiny child.
"Leave him alone, Timmy. Don't stare."
Hikaru growled, low and menacing, and the child and mother skittered away. The dragon master scowled.
"I thought the park was going to be deserted," he muttered.
"Mostly deserted," said Lu.
Hikaru growled with irritation. Just then, he recognized the weird mix of seriousness, smugness, random cheer, terror, and slight bitterness that was Ichiro Sumishiba. Hikaru promptly snuck up behind Sumishiba, put him in a headlock, and began dragging him toward the exit where they had all planned to meet.
"Ow ow ow ow ow," chanted Sumishiba, squeaking a bit due to Hikaru's vice grip on his neck.
"Oh, shut up."
"Okay," squeaked the black-haired man. Sumishiba had long ago given up his goal of defeating Hikaru, and felt no need to piss him off for no good reason, especially with Hikaru's arm already tight around his throat.
They were the first to reach the exit, and Hikaru breathed a sigh of relief as the evil Wiggle-energy dissipated.
Soon enough, Silver appeared; her right hand towed a dazed Meguru by the wrist, and her left held a heavy chain—Reiji and Kouhei tethered about two feet apart by their necks at the end.
Hikaru raised his eyebrows.
"Found it piled in front of a ride," she said. "Would you believe they don't need the line dividers here?" The ex-dragon-buster grinned; having escaped had put her in a better mood.
Hikaru's mouth twitched in the hint of a smile; the fear in the eyes of Silver's captives instantly multiplied. Silver laughed loudly.
Within seconds, Rockaku appeared, an out-cold stalker over each shoulder, singing what sounded like an Irish drinking song.
Taro was still conspicuously absent. Hikaru was getting pissed.
"Oh, I swear, Taro Otohime, if you are not here in one minute, I will personally murder you in the most horrible way I can imagine, and I have spent ten years in uncharted mountains in an alternate dimension alone with an extremely violent dragon; I am also clinically insane and have anger-management issues; if you want to live or eat anything not through a tube again, you have better be here in one fucking minute," muttered Hikaru. The others edged away, only too aware of the murder plans in Hikaru's head and how willing he would be to carry them out.
Exactly fifty-nine seconds after Hikaru had started talking—at this point, his fury was rising off of him in visible waves—Taro appeared, dragging a Santa-esque sack and munching on a pretzel. Hikaru twitched.
"That sack had better have your friends in it."
"You die, Otohime," Hikaru growled. Taro squeaked.
"Kidding," he said hastily, dropping the sack, which fell open to reveal Takumi, Neko, and the broom-head.
Hikaru, reason for murder taken, merely stole Taro's pretzel, which was then stolen from him by Rockaku—Hikaru felt little desire to defend it, as he had only taken it because he was pissed at Taro.
"Soaking up the booze," said Rockaku; then, as Hikaru turned toward him, "which I did not have, of course…"
Hikaru wished his companions could see him rolling his eyes.
I'm surrounded by idiots, he thought.
"So…" Silver began. "Where are we going?"
"Batman," said Hikaru, pointing to the black coaster just to the right of the Mind Eraser.
The faces of the majority of the group—Maiko, Hagiwara, Takumi, Neko, and Kenji had awoken—drained almost entirely of color.
"Can you please…please just kill us?" Reiji whimpered.
Hikaru laughed, sounding quite deranged. No one else spoke, but stared; wide-eyed and freaked the fuck out, thank you very much.
No, Hikaru doesn't really do mercy, do you, Hikaru?
Hikaru: No. No I do not.
Alu: lawl. Damn…I want it to be April now. Probably will be before I update again…XD. And I think I need to change this to a T-rated fic…
Hikaru: No kidding. You enjoy swearing and I enjoy murder. And with all the insanity you're putting me through, I may very well be an alcoholic before the end of this fic.
Alu: Damn it. My bad. I'm not letting that happen. You can just be an adrenaline junkie like me. XD.
Hikaru: I hate you.
Alu: No you don't; you're just saying that because I'm driving you even more batshit insane than you already are. XP.