Bella Swan stared at herself in the mirror. She thought she was uglier than you. In fact, she thought she was the ugliest girl in the world, even uglier than Ashley Tisdale.
Her mother had tried to get her out of these insecure thoughts, so she bought her a series of four books by one Stephenie Meyer. Bella read the first one, entitled Twilight, and was shocked to discover that Miss Meyer used her name for the main character. But Meyer didn't know her, did she? Maybe the woman was spying out the window…watched her undress before she got in the bath. Unpleasant thought! Bella went over to the window and looked out.
There was nothing there but a cat that had been run over by a car. Roadkill. Bella caught herself wondering what it would taste like, then slapped herself hard across the face. She had no idea where these disgusting ideas came from. Turning from the window, she sat down again and continued Twilight.
Why does she keep repeating this stupid sentence over and over about his eyes? Bella asked herself. Oh well…
She reached the end. So, Edward had taken Bella as his girlfriend. Well, the fictional Bella was lucky…at least someone liked her, even though he'd been dead for 100 years…
Then Bella started the next book, New Moon. She cried when Edward left Bella, because she felt compassionate with the girl who shared her name. She knew that she, the real Bella Swan, would never have a boyfriend. Maybe she should become a lesbian...
She thought Bella was an idiot for not figuring out that Jacob was a werewolf. Once Bella grasped this, she hoped that the fictional Bella would see how great Jacob was and forget the conceited vampire. But alas, Bella loved only Edward.
The real Bella laughed when the fictional one jumped off the cliff into the rapids below. She wanted her to die. But no such luck. (Otherwise the book would've been much thinner, since it was told in the first person.) Bella went to Italy with Alice Cullen, whom the real Bella actually liked. Then there was the question about "grand theft auto." Bella thought, What the hell is THAT doing in there?
Bella has to save Edward from his own suicide attempt. The Bella that was reading the book liked the Volturi, especially Jane. She hoped the Volturi would play a larger role in the next two books. And with that, she started Eclipse.
She felt perturbed at all of Jacob's attempts to steal Bella from Edward. It bothered her that Bella was considering choosing between them. Pick one, dammit! the real Bella thought.
She came to the end of it, disappointed with the battle with Victoria and the fact that Bree died instead of one of the Cullens. The Volturi infuriated her. So she moved on to Breaking Dawn, hoping for a Volturi-Cullen battle. It never came. Edward did not die. Jacob fell in love with Renesmee, the daughter of Bella, named after both Bella and Edward's mothers. The description of Renesmee was grotesque. The real Bella almost puked.
She finished it and looked in the mirror, still thinking herself ugly. Going downstairs, she found her mother waiting for her.
"Did Twilight help?"
"No, it did not help, Maman. It made me feel how hopeless it is to love. Edward died in the end."
"Really? That's so sad!"
Bella knew her mother had not read the books, so she felt calm about lying.
"I'm sure I'll find you something to cheer you up."
"Nothing will cheer me up, Maman. I'll never even have a Peewee for a boyfriend…look, I'm uglier than Shrek!"
"You're not ugly, sweetheart!"
"Yes I am!" Bella shouted, running to her bedroom and slamming the door.
Two days later, Bella came home from school to find her mother waiting in the siting room.
"Bella, I'm shipping you off to Washington."
"I can do nothing for you. I'm just a kindergarten teacher, and I can't deal with insecure teenagers. I'm sure your father will have a better job."
"But Maman—" Bella protested.
"Don't give me that look. You think Phoenix boys will not want you; I'm sure boys will be clamoring after you in Forks."
"Forks? I thought Dad lived in Seattle."
"No, it's Forks…a small town a few miles from Seattle. Charlie loves it there."
"I won't. It's bound to be cold, and rainy, and Lord knows what else."
"You are going, Bella, and that's final. You leave on Saturday. Go start packing."
Bella trudged up the stairs in a huff. Her mother didn't understand her. How could she just send her away, when she needed to be with her mother most right now? She hadn't even seen her father since she was ten…what was Maman thinking?
Renee forced her daughter screaming onto the plane. A flight attendant buckled her up and sat on her so that she wouldn't be able to run off before the plane lifted into the air. Finally, when the plane's engines were roaring, the flight attendant got off her and left her in peace.
All Bella could think about was how she wished she could fit in those little tiny windows on the airplane, and crawl out, letting herself fly till she landed splat on the ground, never to live again. No boy would have to see her ugly mug. What joy!
Hours later, the plane landed. A boy smiled at her at the luggage area. She forgot about wanting to kill herself. She collected her bags and went to sit down.
Shortly thereafter, her father appeared. He shook her hand, and she got up, followed him out to his truck, and they drove to his house in silence, Bella thinking all the while that life in Forks could hardly be better than life in Phoenix.