Chapter 61 Turning Tables

Dylan sat back on the couch staring at nothing at all. He brought his straight scotch to his mouth and took a sip. He swallowed the burn gripping his glass with his right hand. He closed his eyes as a tear fell down his cheek. He sniffed and wiped it quickly with the back of his left hand. He leaned up and set his elbows on his knees reaching for the bottle of his Johnny Walker Blue label, he poured half a glass before setting the bottle down again. Andrea's words repeating in his mind. The glass hit his lips again, this time he took the whole glass back at once. His eyes felt heavy, he squeezed them shut tightly before they opened and tried to focus on nothing in particular. He was drunk; he hadn't been drunk like this is many many years. Dylan had drank in his adult hood, he was in control. He was able to enjoy a beer, a glass of wine, even a cocktail every now and then. This wasn't that, he knew he was wallowing in this scotch like he used too. He was escaping and it wasn't making him feel better. He looked to his bedroom; it was dark in there even though it was in the afternoon. He could still see her face. He saw the tears, he heard the deafening silence on the car ride home, he also saw as he tried to comfort her, she pulled away. His heart pulled him in that direction but instead he poured himself another drink, taking it back quickly. He slumped into the couch, his eyes feeling the weight of a 1000 pounds. Dylan's head fell back as he stared at the ceiling. A slow blink, a longer one and black.

Samantha used her key and unlocked the front door. She smiled down at Kaeden as he told her all about this new boy that he had made friends with in school. They made their way into the foyer as Kaeden dropped his back pack and walked into the living room. Samantha rounded the corner, noticing Kaeden just standing there.

He looked up at her, "Shhh…daddy is sleeping." he whispered.

Samantha looked at Dylan. He lay slumped into the couch, head back passed out. She noticed the empty glass lying on its side next to him and the Johnny Walker bottle sitting on the coffee table in front of him more than half empty.

She swallowed hard, "You're right." She bent down to Kaeden's level, "Why don't you take your backpack to your room, start your homework and I'll be in a minute to help you?" She smiled at him. He nodded with a smile and ran off.

Samantha took a deep breath looking at Dylan again. Setting down her purse she walked to the bedroom. The master bedroom's door was closed but not all the way. She pushed it open, seeing Brenda lying on her side, the curtains drawn, sleeping. She walked in towards her picking up the bottle of pills that lay beside her, Xanax it read. She looked at Brenda again, her chest rising and falling peacefully. She set the bottle of pills on the night stand. As she walked out of the bedroom she followed the long hallway to the kitchen pulling out her cell phone out of her back pocket. She flipped it open and searched her contacts. Finding the right one she hit send. It rang twice.

"Hello?" Brandon answered.

"Hey Brandon…it's me Sam."

"Oh hey Sam…how's it going?" Brandon's voice was friendly.

She sighed, "Brandon, I think maybe you and Kelly should come over."

"Why what's going on…is Kaeden okay?" Brandon felt panic spread through him. Kaeden's nanny never called him.

"No…Kaeden is fine. He's in his room, starting his homework. I'll take him to Iris in a little bit, I have class tonight so I can't stay like the last few nights." she said her voice feeling badly.

"Aren't Brenda and Dylan there?" Brandon was so confused, she had stayed with him the last few nights?

"Brandon…just come over…hurry."

"I'm coming." Brandon said softly shutting his phone quickly.

Samantha had been with Kaeden, keeping him in his room, doing homework as she heard the security beep of the front door. She leaned in and kissed Kaeden's head, "Stay here bud, I'll be right back."

She walked fast to the living room, as she turned the corner; she saw Brandon and Kelly looking down at Dylan. They looked at her, worry in their eyes.

Brandon leaned over Dylan, "Dylan?" he patted his cheek, no movement, "Dylan?" he said louder now shaking him. "Come on Dylan…come on." he started lifting his arms.

"What?" Dylan grumbled, pulling back his arm forcefully.

"Come on man…get up." Brandon lifted his arm again.

"I'm fine." he grumbled again.

"You're not fine." Brandon said stern.

"I'm FINE!" he yelled loudly.

Brandon looked at Samantha then at Kelly. Brandon had seen Dylan like this before. He wasn't sure they had.

"I'll make some coffee." Samantha said concerned as she turned to go back to the kitchen.

"Brandon." Kelly whispered, "I haven't seen him like this in ages." she spoke softly. "Dylan?" she said loudly, "Where's Brenda?"

He mumbled incoherently. "DYLAN…where's Brenda?" her lip quivered. "Brandon…they had their doctors appointment this week." she said tearfully. Brandon smacks Dylan's cheek again, this time harder. "Get up Dylan…get up." He pulled him to his feet.

Dylan pulled his arm forcefully away from Brandon's grip losing his balance as he walks away from the couch, "What do you want Brandon?" he said rudely as he leans against the wall.

"What happened? Where's Bren?" Brandon spoke calmly.

Dylan kept his head down, he weakly points to the bedroom. Kelly took a deep breath and ran toward the bedroom. She pushed open the door. Reaching for the light switch, Brenda lay curled in a fetal position on the bed. She walked quickly over to her, sitting beside her, "Bren…honey?" She pushes her long hair away from her face. Brenda's eyes fluttered open, too heavy to stay that way. Kelly looked toward the door seeing Samantha.

"She took Xanax. It was prescribed a couple days ago by Dr. Zuckerman."

Kelly's hand came to her mouth, tears filling her eyes quickly. She knew Andrea wouldn't prescribe a sedative to a pregnant Brenda.

"Daddy…mommy?" Kelly and Samantha turned towards Kaeden quickly.

Samantha picked him up quickly, "Come on little man…let's go see grandma Iris." she grabbed her keys, passing Dylan and heading out the door.

Dylan stumbled toward the bedroom, he pushes Brandon out of the way gently. "Brenda?" he calls out drunkenly. Kelly got up and backed away as she saw Dylan belligerently crawl on the bed. "Bren?" he whispered. He flops down next to her. Dylan's arm snaked around her roughly, pulling her into him. "Baby…talk to me." he whispered. Brenda moved pulling away from him sloppily. Dylan pulled her back to him, "Baby…please." he whispered again, pleading. It wasn't a full two minutes before they both fell back asleep.

Kelly backed up as she found herself next to Brandon. She reached for his hand gripping it tightly, needing comfort, "They lost the babies Brandon…they lost them." she whispered tearfully.

Brandon's eyes filled with tears quickly, he nodded, "Come on babe…we'll let them sleep. I'll call my parents to stay with the kids for the night. I'll see if Iris can take Kaeden overnight. We'll wait till they wake up." Kelly swallowed hard and nodded. They left them closing the door softly.

Brenda stared at the wall. She had been sleeping awhile, the clock next to her bed read 9:12, she knew it had been day, afternoon when she took the Xanax, she felt Dylan laying against her back. His arm limply around her waist. The smell of stale booze around him. For a moment she thought about Dylan, the look in his eyes at the doctor's appointment a few days before. The looks he gave her through the drive. The tears he had in his eyes that he tried to hide. It was hard for her to look at him then, she didn't want to now. She dragged herself to a sitting position. She reached for the Xanax bottle and read the directions. Take 1/2 to 2 tablets a day as needed to help with depression and anxiety. She took a half, deciding the 2 she had taken earlier was only good if she wanted to comatose. She pushed up onto her shaky legs, Brenda hated drugs. She hated pain pills or anything that made her feel out of it but right now she embraced the feeling of numbness. She turned looking down at Dylan. He lay almost childlike, snoring softly. Something Brenda was aware he only did when he had been drinking. His eyelids lifted slowly and their eyes met, she turned away from his glazed stare. He reached out and grabbed her hand.

"Bren…come here." he whispered hoarsely. She shook her head.

"I'm going to check on Samantha and Kaeden."

"I'll do it." Dylan sat up, his hand went down his face gruffly. "You should be resting."

"What's the point?" Brenda said lifeless as she continued toward the bedroom door.

"Brenda?" Dylan voice now, stern and loud. "It's been a few days, We have to talk about this?"

Tears filled her eyes as she looked up at the ceiling, they spilled down the sides of her eyes. She shook her head, not ready.

"We don't." she said softly as she left their bedroom.

Brenda wiped her eyes quickly and peaked into Kaeden's room only finding it empty. She looked down at her watch, suddenly coming back to realizing she didn't know where her son was and it was 9 o'clock at night.

"Kaeden?" Brenda called out panicked. "Kaeden?" she said louder now moving quickly into the living room. She froze seeing Kelly and Brandon sitting on the couch. A look of sympathy and pity on their faces. She looked away not able to take that in.

"Kaeden is with Iris. He's spending the night." Kelly's voice filled with sorrow. Brenda swallowed hard pushing her sadness deep within. She crossed her arms and looked at her brother and sister in law again.

"What are you guys doing here?"

Brandon got up, moving towards her, "Samantha called, she was worried about you guys."

"We're fine." Brenda said short.

"Dylan was drunk and you were passed out on pills."

"We're fine." she repeated.

"What happened with the doctor's appointment?" Kelly got up and stepped towards her.

She lifted one shoulder slowly, "You know. Things like this happen sometimes."

Dylan came out of the bedroom, pulling his white t-shirt over his head roughly. He stopped next to Brenda seeing Kelly and Brandon staring at him, "What are you guys doing here?"

"You saw us earlier, you don't remember?" Brandon now was testing him. He knew Dylan had his drinking in control. He had seen him over the years able to handle it like any other adult. He had also seen him at his lowest, and even though it wasn't wrong for Dylan to wallow after what had happened, he still couldn't forget the numerous times he had seen him lose control.

"I was tired." he closed his eyes and running his hands through his hair.

"Tired?" Brandon shook his head a smart ass smirk playing on his lips, "You were drunk Dylan."

"So?" he took a deep breath, then he looked at Brenda. She didn't look at him.

Brandon sighed frustrated, "Look you know I love you both, Kelly and I have been through it. You can't drown yourself in a bottle of scotch. I know Dylan you have been good for a long time. But seeing you like that today brought back a lot of memories, I would just hate to see you go down that road again."

Brenda sighed loudly, "Brandon…leave Dylan alone. So he had some drinks, it's been a rough couple of days. No one is going to AA here. You stayed to make sure we were good, were fine, now go home to your kids and leave us be." Brenda's voice was a bit slurred, the 1/2 a Xanax taking effect slowly. Dylan's hand came to her neck as he gently squeezed a thank you. Brenda didn't move away from his touch even though her first reaction was too.

"Bren…you too, easy on those Xanax. They are easy to abuse and they can become habit forming."

Brenda was not in the mood for an after school special. Her finger tips pressed into her temples as she tried to rub away her frustration. "Please Brandon. Just go." her voice barely over a whisper.

"Brenda…do you want to talk about it?" Kelly said softly. Pain and worry evident in her eyes.

"NO." she screamed, "I don't want to talk about it. I want you to leave me the fuck alone. Let me and my husband deal with it." She threw her hands up, turning quickly, her balance and coordination off as she hit the wall. She continued to her bedroom as she slammed the door. Kelly moved to follow her and Dylan stopped her, "Just leave her be."

A tear ran down her face, "She needs you Dylan…you both need each other. We're here if you need us, but don't leave her to deal with this alone." Kelly's tone was bossy.

Dylan glared at her, offended, he knew this already. "Shut up Kelly, mind your business." he shook his head as he looked down.

She turned picking up her purse angry. "Come on babe." she said softly to Brandon. Brandon stared at Dylan. His eyes telling him to take care of his sister, and to be nice. Dylan didn't comment and either did Brandon. He watched them leave. The house was silent. Dylan looked at the half empty bottle of scotch. He made his way over picking up the bottle and screwing the top back on tightly. He looked towards the bedroom. Taking a deep breath he moved towards it. He opened the door and leaned against the doorframe taking in his broken wife. It had been three days since their doctor's appointment. Three days since he had actually talked to Brenda, three days since Andrea told them they had no growth with both babies and no heart beats. It had been three days since Brenda's D&C. Dylan had tried to comfort her, hold her, cry with her but she hadn't let him. He felt like maybe she needed sometime alone so he had given it to her. So while Brenda self-medicated her pain, Dylan drank today having trouble dealing with the loss himself, it wasn't his finest hour, but not his worse either. Three days was long enough to leave Brenda alone.

"You hungry Bren? Can I get you something?" he asked nicely.

"I'm fine." she said quietly.

He sighed making his way into the room, he sat beside her resting his hand on her thigh. "You aren't fine."

"I'm fine." she said exhausted.

Dylan sighed frustrated, he took his hand to her upper arm, he gripped it lightly so she would look at him, "You aren't fine…talk to me…let me comfort you." He rubbed her arm tenderly.

Brenda pushed him off of her as she got up and stood away from him, "Please Dylan leave me alone. You don't understand." she whispered her back away from him.

Dylan's head was pounding, he hadn't had a hangover like this in so long, he was grouchy and hurt, "I don't understand?" he got up angrily his voice rising higher than he meant. "Don't shut me out." he yelled loudly.

She turned around and glared at him, Dylan exhaled through his nose trying to calm himself. He didn't want to yell and fight. "You don't think this is hard on me too? I lost them too Brenda." his voice broke. Brenda stared into his eyes, she saw the lost sad look deep within them. She rushed him, wrapping her arms around his waist as she buried her face in his chest. The force and Dylan's already edgy balance made him step back, quickly righting himself straight. His arms wrapped around her and she loudly sobbed into his chest. He kissed her head.

"Baby…its ok. It's going to be okay." he cooed. Burying his face against her.

"It's not going to be okay Dylan." she bawled.

"We'll try again. In a couple months we'll try again." his hands rubbed down her back tenderly.

Brenda leaned away from him. Dylan didn't think he had ever seen Brenda this broken, "I don't want to try again. I don't want to feel like this ever again. I don't want to feel anything."

Dylan didn't say anything, as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. She walked away from him, sighing loudly as she ran her fingers through her messy hair. He walked toward her quickly taking her face in his hands. "Stop taking those pills." he said gently but with a firm voice. "You can't numb yourself away from this. I need you Bren." She pulled away from him, He grabbed her more forcefully by her upper arms, "Kaeden needs you."

She looked into his eyes, they softened. "Baby." Dylan whispered. "Don't give up hope…I know it's hard. Don't give up on us. This is the toughest thing either of us has been through together, we are stronger together, we have Kaeden, it will happen for us again."

She looked down, wanting to believe it was true, "I just wanted it so bad." she said tearfully.

"Me too." Dylan said seriously.

She knew she had to let him in, but she was so heartbroken. She had lay in that bed for three days. She hadn't eaten anything, he had tried to be there for her. She shut him out. She knew he drank today. It still didn't stop her from wallowing in her own despair. She walked over taking out the other half of the Xanax she had broken earlier and popped it in the back of her mouth. Swigging the water forcefully. It was all too much.

"Bren." Dylan whispered disappointed. She looked at him.

"Are you going to judge me? You're going to get on me for taking something that was prescribed to me? I've seen your demons Dylan. I have always been there for you. It makes me feel better."

He walked over to her and grabbed the pills from her hand, "They don't…they sedate you, they make you numb. Brenda I know what it's like to get lost in this shit. It doesn't make things go away." His voice forbidding.

She grabbed them back and Dylan grabbed them back from her throwing them across the room. Brenda sobbed out as she hit him in the chest with both fists. He took it as she got a few good hits in, then he grabbed her wrists. She fought him and soon Dylan had her against the wall. He pinned her there, letting her calm down. Brenda's chest heaved as she caught her breath. "Please Dylan just let me go." she pleaded tearfully.

"I'm not going to do that." His tone serious. This went beyond holding her against the wall. He wasn't going to let ruin the support and love they had for one another, "I'm never going let you go."

Brenda's head hit the back of the wall as she cried loudly. Her eyes shut tightly, wishing the pills would take away this feeling.

He dropped to knees in front of her. His arms encircled her hips, the side of his cheek resting against her lower stomach. He squeezed her as he broke down, "You have to help me Brenda." he sobbed, "I don't know how to take care of you like this. Please help me." he pleaded. He sobbed like a little boy, he sobbed like their first date. Brenda closed her eyes her hand resting on his head as she held it against her. The roles were reversed. Brenda was used to being a light in Dylan's life in his afflictions, now he needed to be hers and he didn't know how to.

Valerie laughed as Trevor continued his story about walking in on his brother and Gina earlier that day. He picked up the empty dishes as he chuckled putting them in Valerie's sink.

"Oh my god you should have seen them. I wish you were there." he laughed.

Valerie giggled, she was having fun. Trevor had called her saying he wanted to make her dinner at her house. Valerie accepted wanting the distraction from the few days she had been dodging David. He leaned over the counter, pressing his lips against hers. Valerie smiled, she liked Trevor, maybe it could grow into more. It was a lot less complicated that was for sure. Like for one he wasn't married. She deepened the kiss as three loud knocks interrupted them. She looked towards the door.

"You expecting someone?" Trevor asked.

She shook her head not having a clue. "Hold that thought." she whispered seductively with a smile. Trevor watched her before she turned the corner, exhaling, she was a sexy thing. He was really into her. Valerie opened the door to find an emotional David on the other side of it. He pushed past her letting himself in.

"David…what are you doing here?"

He turned quickly, "Why haven't you returned any of my calls? I've been calling you for days Val."

Valerie swallowed hard and crossed her arms, "It's not a good time."

"It's never a good time. Stop avoiding this…stop avoiding me, I needed to talk to you." he spoke loudly.

Trevor appeared around the doorway.

Valerie saw him and cleared her throat. David followed her eyes turning and seeing Trevor there. "Oh…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to interrupt." his voice hurt, embarrassed.

"Trevor this is my good friend David…David this is Trevor." Trevor held out his hand.

"Nice to meet you." David uttered.

"Well." Trevor gave a tight smile, "it looks like you two have something to discuss…Val…call me okay?" He moved towards the door.

Valerie's arms fell from over her chest, "Trevor you don't have to leave." she felt badly.

He smiled at her. He leaned in and kissed her cheek tenderly bringing his hand to her face. "It's ok. Your friend needs you. Call me later." he said quietly. His hand lingering there for a moment looking into her eyes. David looked down, swallowing the lump that his jealousy had brought up.

"Nice to meet you David." Trevor said politely as he saw himself out.

The door shut closed, silence filled the apartment. David was the first to break it.

"You're still seeing that guy?"

Valerie barked out a laugh, "You have got to be kidding me? You have no right. NO RIGHT DAVID." she screamed. "You are freaking married!"

David rubbed his face frustrated taking a deep breath, "Donna filed for divorce. Thats what I was trying to tell you I called She and Ruby are back in Paris and she filed for divorce. I got served the papers today."

"What?" she whispered.

David walked towards her, "Yes…she filed, they were served, I signed them."

"You…and Donna…are divorced?" she was shocked.

"Well…they need to be filed to the court, and California law says in six months we will be. But its in process."

"How? What happened?" Valerie was in shock.

David made his way into the apartment, he took off his jacket and sat on Valerie's couch. "Honestly…I don't know. We fought over the phone since that night at Sunset Cliffs. She told me if I didn't want to move to Paris then it was over. I told her I wasn't moving. She hung up on me, and three days later the papers were served. We are sharing custody of Ruby and I guess Felice plans to drag her back and forth." David looked down. Valerie could tell he was sad about it, at least for the distance and separation from his daughter. Valerie stood silent.

David stood up, "I want to be with you Val…I love you."

A tear fell from Valerie's eye, she wiped it quickly not wanting to show her vulnerability. David stepped closer to her, as Valerie looked to the floor. "I know you love me too." David stood in front of her. Valerie slowly raised her face to his. David fingers caressed her cheek, he leaned in taking his lips to hers so slowly, unhurried as he felt them against his own. They leaned out from one another as his arms went around her waist. He leaned in again slowly taking her lips against his again. Valerie's hand came to his cheek. She backed away looking into his eyes. She saw David, the man that had always stood by her, the man who loved her unconditionally and had always been there for her. She inclined into him, opening her mouth onto his as she deepened the slow kisses. Slowly dipping her tongue against his, as he ran his against hers. David was getting divorced. He was making out with her in her living room. As she heated the kiss and felt David grabbed at her back, trying to bring her closer to him. His lips becoming more urgent in need. Now that they actually had a chance to see where this would go, they could actually be together she found herself wondering, was this really a good idea? His mouth on hers felt so right. She felt herself being carried into her bedroom and as David hovered over her, she had forgotten what the worries even were. Valerie had trouble telling herself sometimes she had deserved to be happy. She may have done things she was never proud of, but David hadn't ever cared and had never made her feel less than what he knew she was. In that moment as clothes separated from them and feeling his heart beat against hers she knew she was happy. She had always been happy with David. As he slid into her, the outside world disappeared. Valerie at that moment had not felt more at home since she moved back to Beverly Hills.

Alright guys I know…VALERIE AND DAVID! Hell yes…my apologies to DD fans…I love them both I do, but there was something so genuine about this ship. In all my pics I've always set DD back together and this time I'm trying my DV love. David and Donna were adorable high school sweethearts, it just seemed so forced throughout the years. They were best friends and the way 90210 ended with them was just so ugh! I mean they were great but I didn't think that they deserved the 90210 series ending. So here it is…but of course it wont be perfect, and divorce is hard even if its mutual. We'll see these two doing what they do best, being there for one another. Now for the heart break. Yes Dylan and Brenda's twins did not make it. Honestly I sat on this decision for years. Going back and forth and the truth is, these things happen. Also I wanted to bring these two even closer and have to really deal with something that I myself have been through 3 times, including a D&C. Brenda and Dylan have always been a beautiful couple even in the ugly. Also I don't want this fix to end, I like to treat it like the actual show and this opens up a way to continue and really take Brenda and Dylan to a place that the show never did. As adults, going through adult emotions and trials. Please don't be mad and there will be a happy ending of course. Just trust that I will handle these two with respect and beauty. As far as BK goes, one of my reviewers mentioned not having BK raising a teenager, and that Silver should be older by now. This fic has been going on for the last 8 years or something lol Even though our time has passed the fic really hasn't. Maybe she should be older but she isn't because I started this fic about the time the spin off came to. Now I know I skipped ahead with Kaeden now being 4 or 5 or whatever so Erin should be like 20 lol, lets just say in fan fiction world she didn't get older. I messed up but BK will be dealing with Silver, that last chapter is not forgotten there just dealing with BD first. Anyway let me know what you guys think. Even in heartbreak BD were still so UGH I love them. I hope you are all not too mad at me. Please PM me your review if the site doesn't let you review. I had posted something in the chapter 61 spot asking if people were still reading so you may have commented back and the site thinks you reviews already. Thanks for this! I don't know how to change it. xoxox