I own none of these characters. All are owned by the wonderful Mrs. Meyers. I just created a new world with it :)
How did I get here? I ask myself as I slide my finger down the glass window pane overlooking the city of Seattle. Why I ask myself I don't know. I already know the answer when I stop and think about it. I graduated high school at the top of my class, went to college and dated the same guy the entire time and did the inevitable. I married him and now here I sit.
His name is Hayden and yes he is all the things the name provokes you to think. He was always popular with the ladies, incredibly talented, smart, way too good looking and the best lawyer in Seattle. He is like a piranha you don't want to get into the water with him.
I was always fascinated by his work and his dedication, he was so loyal. I on the other hand took a different route I don't find defending the rich to suit my taste, I prefer abuse victims who can't protect themselves. Fortunately with his income we can afford to do that. We've been married going on six years now and he and my best friend Alice still don't get along. She works for me as my secretary.
We work in the same building, but my office is on the next floor. He doesn't want my lower end clients mixing in with his rich if you get what I mean. He didn't say that he didn't have to. I knew it. I know him better than he knows himself sometimes. I love him, but there are some things about him I wish I could change. He doesn't want to hear about my work and sometimes it hurts me. I wish he could understand how important it is to me. Alice listens to me I won't say what she says about him… I keep saying he's just too busy. Alice says I am making excuses for him. Am I?
He recently decided I was too stressed at work and needed to take on a partner and without my consent went out and hired someone. I understand this firm is his baby, but last I checked we were married. I didn't say anything. He was probably right. I was overworked and I could no longer keep up with the work load. I was seeing a therapist because I was so stressed out and wine was no longer working…not to mention I never see my husband because he is always at work.
This is my life. I am so sick of myself right now. I can almost guarantee you my husband probably hired some self righteous bimbo who I am going to hate and fire in no time and is going to drive me absolutely insane. I need help not some blond thrusting their boobs in my face to get ahead.
It was then I heard a knock, "Hey Bella, your new partner is here."
"Great." I managed not to cringe. Alice knew I was dreading this.
She closed the door walking over to me and rubbing my back, "You ok sweetie?"
I nodded, "Just stressed the doctor wrote for me some Xanax. I haven't taken any. I think I might try one."
Alice patted my back, "Bella, pills aren't the answer kicking Hayden to the curb now that may be a start."
I shot her a glance. I know she means well but she really isn't helping. I straightened my pencil skirt and blouse and sighed, "So, I guess I'll go meet the new member of the company."
"Go get 'em tiger." Alice teased slapping my butt.
Walking into the room I noticed boxes but no body. I looked around it was then I saw someone bent over under the book shelves.
"Hello?" I said softly unsure of the reaction I would receive.
As the person I now realized was a he began to stand. I saw I had startled him and he was quite tall and going to hit the shelves. I moved closer quickly. "No wait, wait."
He hit the cabinet with a thud. I inwardly cringed, that had to hurt. He backed up grabbing his head. I immediately followed suit my hand covering his as he sat on his desk, "I am so sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you are you ok?"
"I'm ok, give me a minute." He answered. His voice was smooth and velvety. He didn't look up and I felt terrible.
"Alice." I called. "Bring me a bag of ice."
She came in a few minutes later with a smirk. "Abusing him already?"
I frowned as I heard him chuckle. Great he has a sense of humor just what I need another Alice.
"Alice, you can go now." I groaned as I pushed his hands away and replaced them with the bag of ice. He rested his hands on mine. "I think I can handle it from here, thanks." I won't deny a weird feeling that traveled up my arm when he touched me. It was weird.
I released the bag pulling my fingers from under his and he finally looked up. I was met with two of the most beautiful green eyes I have ever seen. You know in the movies where the room stops for a moment and you can't breathe, yeah it was that moment and I am married!
He smiled this sort of half smile and extended one hand, "Edward Cullen."
I looked at it a moment and I actually had to think about what it was he wanted me to do. I cleared my head and shook his hand, "Bella."
He turned my hand to see the large diamond, "Yes, the beautiful wife. I knew you would be. "
"Knew I would be what?" I asked taking my hand away.
He smiled removing the ice pack, "Beautiful, I just couldn't see Hayden with someone who wasn't. I just didn't expect…" He stopped looking me up and down then turned away. "Hayden tells me you are behind."
I didn't know what to say. I don't know what the look was for, it was almost like disappointment.
"Yes, he wants me to lighten my load so I can be home more. I don't see how it will affect much."
Edward turned meeting my eyes in question, "How so?"
I looked away, "He's never home. He lives to work."
He nodded in understanding. "Perhaps he just wants you to relax more." He lifted a box onto the desk and I leaned on the wall watching him. "Why are you interested in this line of work? You seem more suited to Hayden's." I suppose I was judging. I looked him over, he was tall and lean but tone. His dark brown hair was in disarray, but it was apparent it was supposed to look unkempt. He was attractive and I would imagine most women swoon if he wants them to. I can't imagine a courtroom not bending in his palm. Quite like Hayden.
He sighed, "I've been there criminal law is overrated. Defending the guilty for money doesn't suit me anymore."
I knew there was a story there but I was not going to push it just yet.
He moved closer to me, "Besides the innocent need a voice and I am here to give them one."
I smiled he was definitely in the right office. He talks a good game let's see if he plays a good court battle that's the real test. Alice brought a pile of files in and set them on his desk.
I was in my office that afternoon looking out the window. I am angry, tired, and just so tired of this system we call justice. I felt the tears but I let them slide down my face what was new. I couldn't help them, was I really helping anyone or was I just fooling myself to think that I was?
My hands were shaking as I reached for my purse dropping it in the process. I sniffed and grabbed for it only to be met by another hand. I looked up meeting his green eyes they are so beautiful almost like a vast forest that changes with the color of the seasons, probably with his moods. He is an extremely handsome man.
He looked at me warmly, "Here you go."
I took a shaky breath and grabbed my Xanax deciding to give in and take one. I was shaking too bad to get the stupid cap off. He took the bottle from me and turned my hand gently pouring one into it for me. He then handed me my glass of water. I smiled in thanks.
He closed the bottle and put it back in my purse and knelt beside me. "Bella, I know I don't know you that well. If this is getting to you like this perhaps you need to step away for a while."
"It's not just this. It's everything…what have I accomplished?" I slammed down my latest case folder.
"See this little girl? She is two I was suppose to protector her and her mother." I pushed the file away. He looked at it reading the notes then to me touching my hand, "I'm sorry, but Bella you can't save everyone. You aren't in this alone."
"It just upsets me and Hayden won't even talk with me about it. I listen to his cases and he won't even talk to me about mine. I just don't understand." I felt myself burst out crying, like a fool with this man I didn't even know. I was surprised when he pulled me into his arms and cradled me to him soothingly. "Shhhh. It's ok let it go." He whispered.
I cried until I could cry no more and then I sat up wiping my face and looked at him shocked. "I am so, so sorry."
He smiled, "It's ok we all break now and then. It's what a partner is for right?"
He is adorable when he smiles. I heard a knock and looked up seeing a tall, blonde man standing there.
Edward stood smiling. "Come on in, Bella this is my brother Jasper."
I looked horrified wiping my face and standing to shake his hand. Then I leaned over to Edward, "Not exactly a good time for me to meet family Edward."
He slid his arm easily around my shoulder, "Bella really, it is fine. We're friends and it is really ok. I promise."
I smiled back. He is right, I feel oddly comfortable around him and maybe he can give me some stress relief. It would be nice to have someone to vent on besides Alice. Speaking of where is that annoying pixie, she is supposed to…
"Bella I got the…" She stopped dead cold in her tracks when she saw Jasper. It was actually kind of funny because he looked at her the same way. He smiled and stepped forward, "Hi, I'm Jasper."
"Alice." She replied back as he kissed her hand. I sat there dumbfounded as their eyes stayed locked. Edward whispered in my ear, "I think they just made a love connection."
I realized what he said and turned to him then we both laughed. Yes, I think me and Edward are going to get along just fine. He doesn't care that I am mentally drained right now and that is just fine with me.
I sat alone that night eating my salad relaxing on the bar. Yes I said the bar, why not? I live in an expensive house that never gets lived in anyway so why the hell not? Hayden came in setting his brief case down and flashed me his famous smile, he is so cute. His sandy hair falling into his eye, I brushed it back.
"How was the meeting?"
"I won what would you expect?" He kissed my neck inhaling deeply. I met his deep sea blue eyes. I could get lost in their depths forever.
"Are you hungry?"
He licked his lips, "Not for food." He took my bowl away and smiled, "How was your day, the new partner?"
I nodded, "He seems ok."
He lifted me into his arms and started towards the bedroom, "Good, I thought he would be perfect. He wanted a fresh start and you needed a break. He's a go getter so I knew you would have a chance to relax some."
"Why would I need to relax some?" I asked curious as he set me down and started to undress me. "Well, we've been married a while and it is customary to have kids at some point. I was thinking perhaps you might want to consider that possibility."
"What about your schedule?" I asked wondering if he planned on taking on a lighter schedule because I did not plan on raising kids alone. His warm lips were then at my neck as he leaned me back on the bed, "So many questions Bella, no more questions tonight just feel."
Feel…I don't like to feel it causes nothing but heartache and problems. It was two weeks later when I was looking over a file and felt an arm shoot a file past me. I looked down and smiled, "Nice."
"I aim to please." He gloated as he sat down in my chair.
"You know I was trying to sit." I said looking back. His only response was to ignore me. I sighed sitting on his knees and flipping through the file. "I think this case is going to be tough."
He leaned up behind me, "The Madison case yes it is going to be difficult, but not impossible."
I tapped it with my pencil, "You think he will try and take the kid?"
"Yes." He answered without thought. "We need to move quickly on it, I can push it through this afternoon."
I shook my head in agreement.
He lifted my hips and stood, "I'll get on it." I didn't watch as he left. I continued going through my paperwork. I was forced to look up when a hand slapped down on my desk and I was face to face with blood red nails. Alice.
"Yes?" I looked up to see her perfect little face. She smiled, "So tell me, how's stuff?"
"Good." I answered wondering what was up with her. Then I remembered she went out with Jasper and smiled, "Oh I get it how was the date with Jasper?"
She giggled, "It was wonderful he is so sweet and adorable and funny and handsome and….well he just is, but that is not what I am talking about."
I looked at her oddly, "Ok, then what I am working?"
She sat on the desk, "I notice a certain someone has been spending a lot of time with a certain male partner."
I glared, "He's my partner."
She bit her lip, "Yes, but sitting on his lap when he is in your chair…last time I checked that wasn't in the quote 'he's my partner' book."
I sighed, "I was working and we're friends Alice come one."
She shrugged, "I am just stating the obvious here."
Alice smiled, "Well…you and Edward are a thing, only you don't know it yet. You are perfect for one another and you fit it's too cute you should see it. Jasper even commented on it. "
"That's great but I am married."
"Happily?" She questioned. I knew the answer and so did she. I loved Hayden but I had not been in love with him in a long time. I sighed turning away.
She spoke again, "Bella, I'm your best friend, I would never tell you to end your marriage you know that. I just want you happy. What if Edward is that guy? The one who makes you happy? How can you know if you don't take that chance?"
With perfect timing Hayden and all his handsome glory walked in the door, "Hey beautiful."
Alice turned walking out without another word. He shut the door and loosened his tie.
I smiled, "To what do I owe this honor?"
He walked over to me pulling me up and sitting in my chair then pulling me into his lap. "I thought I would pay a little office visit to my lovely wife. I haven't done that in a while." I smiled resting my head on his chest. I miss what we had. I miss who he was before he became the man he was today. He was not the same person I married.
His warm hands gripped my waist, "Are you ok sweetheart?"
"Yes." I answered.
He reached up pulling my face back to look into my eyes. I knew he was searching them. I only hope he could not see the truth. He looked worried, his beautiful face looked hurt. "Bella is everything ok?"
He inhaled deeply stroking my jaw, "I can't help but feel like you aren't telling me something."
I smiled sadly, "I tell you everything you let me." I wasn't lying I did tell him everything he would let me. He watched me a moment and I wasn't sure what exactly the look was in his eyes. He leaned closer pulling me to him, "Bella, I can't lose you."
"I'm not going anywhere." I tried to reassure him.
"Then why does it feel like you are already gone?" He looked frightened.
"I'm right here Hayden."
He pulled me closer his lips on mine. I was surprised by his sudden eagerness, but not by his emotions. I could see it clearly in his eyes. If there was one thing he never could hide from me it was his eyes, I could always read them. He was afraid of losing me. The problem was I am not sure if he hasn't already, he pushed me away for so long I don't know how to get that back and I don't know if he knows how but I am not going anywhere.
He sat me on my desk pushing the intercom only for Alice to answer.
"No interruptions." He said clearly as he walked over and locked the door. I watched him quietly as he walked back to me and pulled me back into his arms. I wouldn't fight him. I did love him, I always would. He really is a good man. After we made love he held me running his hands through my hair.
"What do you think about a vacation?"
I was shocked. We had not went anywhere since our honeymoon. He couldn't leave work long enough. It was always more important. Perhaps there was hope for us yet. He kissed my head, "How about Florida, you mentioned Miami right?"
I nodded. He chuckled, "Ok so I will make some arrangements and we'll get away a few days just the two of us. How does that sound?"
I hugged him tightly, "It sounds wonderful."
He smiled, "Good." He patted my thighs, "As much as I hate for you to move I need to get back to work."
I sighed kissing him once more before sliding off of his lap and dressing. He dressed and kissed me again opening the door just as Edward was knocking. Hayden smiled opening the door wider and patting him on the arm as he walked out.
Edward watched him curiously as he sat across from me, "Date is set, done deal."
I smiled, "Fabulous."
He raised an eyebrow, "Well, well, well what has you in such a good mood?"
I grinned biting my lip, "Well, Hayden wants to take me on a vacation can you believe it?"
Edward smiled leaning on the desk, "That's wonderful, maybe you are getting through to him."
I shrugged, "One can hope. I was beginning to think I was in a marriage for one." I laughed then noticed he didn't. I looked down embarrassed. I looked back up and he was in front of me, he took my hand in his warm one and I felt myself shiver as I looked into his eyes.
"I hope you get everything your heart desires love, I truly do. You deserve to be happy."
Why is it when he says that I wish it were him? I mean we're just friends right? Ok so yeah he is good looking and all of that, but there isn't any more to it than that. There never has been we have never given it a chance to be we are just really comfortable friends.
He kissed my hand and smiled, "I am happy for you, it is good to see you smiling."
"Feels good to smile." I replied back.
He grabbed his bag, "Well, I am off to the gym. Have a wonderful day beautiful Bella."
"You too." I managed trying not to imagine him at the gym or the fact he called me beautiful. That I do not want in my head. I could see Alice watching him as he left and she turned to me walking in and leaning on the door.
"He won't follow through you know."
I sighed not even bothering to turn, "Alice don't start."
She sighed, "I am tired of seeing you get your heart broken over and over again by his empty promises. You are getting set up for a fall. Your future is heading to the gym."
I turned, "Alice, I am married Hayden is my future."
I love Alice, I do but I am fixing to kill her literally. She moved closer, "I hate to hurt you but why can't you see when will you learn. How many dinners will he miss? How many vacations? How many birthdays? How many broken promises must he break before you finally see you are not the most important thing in his life Bella? His job is his wife."
I felt the tears, "Please stop, this time is different."
Alice touched my arm, "I wish it were, Bella oh God I wish it were. I love you and I want to see you happy. I know Hayden loves you, but he can't put his life in order. I am always the one there that holds you when you cry and puts the pieces back together again and now this therapy and the medications that you are drowning yourself in trying to convince yourself its ok. Bella I am losing my best friend."
"This time it's different." I said again. I don't know who I was trying to convince me or her. She sighed hugging me and rubbing my back.
"I hope so Bella."
This just seemed like fun :)