Title: Four times Sam and Daniel didn't have sex, and the time they did

Author: Rebecca Johnson [.com]

Email:

Rating: PG/M (?)

Spoilers: The First Commandment, Urgo, A Hundred Days, Fallen, Heroes Pt 2

Summary: title tells it all

Author's Note: This is my first S/D anything … and probably my last, cause it kinda creeps me out. It's just a little too incestuous for my liking.

Disclaimer: Sam, Daniel and all the gang belong to the merry men of Stargate-land. Unfortunately, I am but a traveller.

1. The knock at the door had come at just the right time, jerking Captain Samantha Carter's mind away from the visions of Jonas Hanson still floating behind her eyes and into the face of the nervous man standing in her doorway. They hadn't known each other very long but their friendship had grown considerably in the past year; the solidarity of geeks and all that. When he came in to 'see how she was holding up' she didn't question the gesture, merely accepted it gratefully and moved over to make room. It was the first night they spent holed up in her lab all night, talking over coffee and a hidden stash of chocolate, but it wouldn't be the last. When he reached out to hug her, she reached back, relishing the contact. When she found herself refusing to let go, he allowed it, finding comfort in it himself. And when they, both of them hurting and lonely, minds fixated on loves both gone and absent, found themselves in a tear-soaked kiss they both pulled back at the same time and smiled. It was what it was. It wouldn't happen again.

2. The power of suggestion is indeed a powerful thing, enough to cause normally sane and intelligent people to do the both the unexplainable and the downright dangerous. When that suggestion is surgically implanted directly into your brain there is little chance at all of fighting it off. When SG-1 found themselves the subject of an unwanted friendship from an excessively curious computer program there was indeed no escaping his control over them. While some of his 'suggestions' were manageable, or at least explainable, Urgo's curiosity also led to some more awkward situations. When he 'suggested' that Daniel corner Sam in his lab, he did. When he 'suggested' to Sam that she might rather enjoy this scenario, she found herself agreeing. When it was 'suggested' that the table might be a little more comfortable, Daniel, in an unprecedented display of disregard swept its contents to the floor. And when the loud crash attracted an audience, they jumped away from each other, avoiding each others eyes, not to mention Teal'c's raised eyebrow. They couldn't believe what had happened. It could NOT happen again. Especially if they killed Urgo.

3. There is no emotion more capable of completely clouding one's outlook than grief, especially the all-encompassing, completely unmentionable grief that had taken hold of the woman currently sneaking out of base quarters, boots in hand. When, last night, she had appeared at his door, a silent stream of tears running down her face, he had merely open the door and let her in. When she sat on his bed and broke down, more emotional than he had ever seen her before, he simply rubbed her back and let her grieve. When she had crawled up next to him and wrapped herself around him, so close that he just knew she was trying to make her way through him to a place she just could not get to, to the man she was trying so frantically in every other way to reach, he let her. And when her exhaustion finally caught up with her and she collapsed in his arms, he quietly rose, dressed, and tucked her carefully under the blankets before he made his way to do what he could to continue her work, hoping with all his might that the one she wanted was holding on for her to rescue him.

4. "Was there ever anything … between us?"

For days the words floated around in her head and she almost hated herself for lying to him. Had there ever been anything between them? No, not really. He was one of her best friends definitely, but that was all. Unless you counted that one night. Which they never had. It had happened but that was in the past, they had never talked about it again, and he had always seemed to understand … but now? Was it fair to continue pretending that it had never happened? Was she going on with their unspoken agreement or was she taking advantage of his situation to erase something that she wasn't proud of; erase the fact that she had essentially taken advantage of her best friend, no matter how willing to go along with it he may have been.

She was so deep in thought and shame that she didn't hear him come into the room. When he sat opposite her and just waited, she looked up. When he told her that he remembered, that it had come back all come back to him, she apologised. When he leant forward and kissed her, with more feeling than he had shown since his return, and more passion than she had experienced in her somewhat solitary existence these past few years, she gave it back whole heartedly, if somewhat guiltily. And when he stepped away from her, leaving her red-faced and breathless, there was no mistaking the twinkle in his eye. He had gotten his revenge for her dishonesty. They would be okay.

5. A sense of mourning had taken up residence on the base; it filled every room, every heart. The passing of Dr. Janet Fraiser had left a hole that nothing could fill. This time he sought her out, it was a practice finely honed over the years. When he pulled up outside her house and knocked on the door, she stepped aside and let him in. When his grief torn eyes looked into hers and begged her to take away his pain, make him feel better … make him feel, she draw him towards the lounge. When she pressed herself to him, allowing his hands to get lost in her hair, he pretended that he was holding a much smaller frame, that the piercing blue eyes were warmer, browner, and that the hair he was stroking as longer, thicker … Janet's. And when Cassie's scuffling feet came down Sam's hallway, all she found was Sam and Daniel holding each other tight, crying into shoulders. She curled up next to them.