Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Universe doesn not belong to me.
He stands there, just watching, just waiting, waiting for what you don't know.
He looks so tall from down here. Tall and impenetrable. Invincible, and you envy it now more than anything. You wish you were the one who was invincible. Because then everything would be easier. Everything could seem normal even when it wasn't.
But you're not, and everyone knows it. Instead, here you are, leaning against a thick wooden door, weak, vulnerable, everything you wished you weren't. And there he is, standing tall, staring at you, frozen.
The lump in your throat seems to rise, and you grit your teeth, knowing that no matter how many times you tell yourself to stop. You won't.
The familiar feeling comes and there's nothing you can do about it. Your eyes are wet, and no matter how many times you blink, trying to clear them, they seem to get blurrier and blurrier, until there's no other option for them except to fall, sliding slowly down your cheeks.
You've always hated feeling useless. But there's nothing you can do now. No way you could have prevented it. It's over. You just have to deal with it.
You stare up at him, not caring about how horrible you look, and send him your fiercest look.
You want to scream at him to go away, but you're afraid your voice will betray you. So you turn your back on him, hoping that he'll get the message. In contrast to him, he makes you feel so stupid.
But there's no movement. He's standing there, still as ever, watching you patiently.
Then, as if he's done it a thousand times before, he walks over, calmly, carefully, as though you'll run away the moment he reaches you.
He sits down next to you and places a hand on your shoulder. He touches you gently, delicately, like you are about to break.
That's enough to set you off. Your stomach squirms uncomfortably and then you're sobbing uncontrollably. Everything you've been trying to keep in for the past few days is let out. Your voice is sore, and it's hard to breathe, but it feels strangely liberating. You feel free for the first time in who knows how long.
He doesn't say anything. Just pulls you closer into his chest. And now, you don't care if he sees you cry. You don't care about anything. Except how nice it is to finally have someone know what it feels like. You don't need the sound of endless chatter or people feeling sorry for you. All you've wanted is silence, and here, finally, you have it.
You stop. After what feels like mere minutes, when it would probably have been hours, because there are no more tears left.
Then you look up again, into his eyes. They're filled with a twinge of pain, and you're not sure whether it was you who caused it or a memory from the past, but for some reason unbeknownst to yourself, you want to make it disappear.
So you hold out your hand. It's a small step, but it feels right, and it's all you can offer at the moment. He stares at you, questioningly, cocking his head to the side, one side of his mouth uplifted into a small smile, making you have to bite your lip not to laugh. He looks at your hand for a fraction of a second and then he takes it.
It feels perfect. And for the first time in a long time you feel like everything is going to be ok.
A/N: This has been sitting as a saved document since forever. And I mean forever. But finally, I'm posting it. It was done a long time ago, and I figured I might as well get it up here. It's been long enough. Plus it looks like I haven't done a Lily/James one in awhile. I'll let you make your own mind up about what Lily is so upset about. It's the first second person fic I've posted. Hope you like it.