A letter to home

(Sam is sitting in the swamp with a notepad and a pencil writing a letter)

Sam: Dear Ma…how are things going back in Arizona…I hope everyone is doing good…I would give anything to be there…how's things going on the ranch I hope buttercup and Snowflake are well but let me catch you up on things over here we've had a lot of stuff stolen from camp lately and the other day when Hawkeye and Trapper were taking a shower someone reached in and grabbed their clothes…let's just say the camp saw more then we ever needed too

(the scene changes back to the shower were Hawkeye and Trapper are someone reach's in and grabs their clothes)

Trapper: Hey, hey

Hawkeye: What's the big idea

Trapper: (turn's off the shower) now what do we do were stranded here in our birthday suits

Hawkeye: Well I think the best thing would be to run for your life

Trapper: That will work (run out and hide behind a jeep) OK I don't see anyone

Hawkeye: Move

(they start running towards their tent)

Announcer: Attention all personal

Hawkeye: Oh no, no, no

Announcer: All surgical personal please report to OR incoming wounded

Trapper: This can't be good

(everybody starts running into the compound Frank, Sam, Henry and Margret walk out of the mess tent and see Hawkeye and Trapper)

Henry: Oh…my…gosh

Margret: My word

Frank: Holy cow

Sam: Poor guys

(they walk up to Trapper and Hawkeye who are obvisoly embarrassed)

Trapper: Hey guys what's going on

Henry: You tell us

Margret: Yea starting with were your clothes are

Hawkeye: They were stolen out of the shower Henry

Frank: Henry things have been getting snatched up all over camp now we have to do something about this

Henry: Well I'm doing my best…now look men

(turns around Hawkeye and Trapper are gone)

Henry: Well that settles that

(Henry walks away)

Sam: It turns out we found all of our stuff about half a mile out of camp…they had used Hawkeye and Trap's clothes to dress up their scarecrows in the cornfield…but let me catch you up on our coronal Henry Blake…he thought it would be a great idea to start have colistinics at 7:00 a.m. let's just say it's not the most poplar thing to hit the camp since white bread

(Henry walks into Sam's tent she is in bed asleep)

Henry: Come on Sam lets get up

Sam: (rolls over) Let's not

Henry: Come on up

Sam: (Rolls up and sit's up) Henry I left a call for February

Henry: Come on Thompson

Sam: (gets up and put's on her house robe) Fine Henry (they walk out)

(Sam and Henry walk into the swamp)

Henry: (walks over to Hawkeyes bed) Pierce

Hawkeye: go away henry

Henry: up

Hawkeye: Henry I just finished 12 hours in OR now if you don't let me sleep I'm afraid I'll have to sale you to the enemy

Henry: Pierce

Hawkeye: Would ya (reachs for his robe Sam hands it to him) Trap

Trapper: (laying in his bed asleep) what ??

Henry: get up

Trapper: I just got in bed I was on post op duty last night

Sam: As was I (starts towards the door)

Henry: Sam get back here

Trapper: Henry if you don't let me sleep I'm going to forget how

Henry: Come on

Trapper: fine I'll get up (sit's up on the side of his bed) Henry who's bright idea was it to start doing colistinics at 7:00 in the morning

Henry: mine

Sam: (sit's down beside trapper) Henry drop it I mean you look like death yourself

Hawkeye: Yea Henry tell us the truth

Henry: Well

Frank (walks in) is everyone ready for colistinics

Hawkeye: Get him !!

(they start pelting him with pillows)

Sam: yep that's right it ended up not being Henrys idea at all it was Frank's…but speaking of Frank let me tell you about the argument him and Margret had the other day…well let me start from the beginning we were shelled preety hard the other day…and the army and it's bad judgment in distance decided it was going to throw a shell right next to my tent…nothing was severly damaged but it did colapse my house…I was lucky when it hit I was in the shower…but the guys were playing poker in the swamp and witnessed the whole thing

(scene flashs back to the guys in the swamp)

Hawkeye: OK the reds are worth 25 the blues are worth 50 and the whites are worth a dollar

( a bomb goes off )

( they all dunk under the table )

Hawkeye: Wow…that was close

Trapper: 5 more yards and we would have inter changble parts

Dirty John: (looks up over the table) Sam and Mila might have them though

Hawkeye: (looks over the table) what do you mean ?? (looks in the direction of Sam's tent and sees it's collapsed) Sam !!

Trapper: (looks over) Mila !!!

Hawkeye: Come on (they run out)

Trapper: (runs over to where her tent was) Sam, Mila can you hear me

Hawkeye: Lets get them out of there

Trapper: (starts to dig though the ruble) Sam, Mila

Sam: (they walk up behind them in there robe's and wet hair) What?

Mila: Yea

Hawkeye: Sam, Mila where are you ??

Sam: Right here

Trapper and Hawkeye: (look over their shoulder) SAM !!…MILA !! (run over and hug's them)

Sam: What's going on (looks over at the ruble were their tent was) our tent !!!

Hawkeye: it's OK Sam

Mila: Where will we sleep, what about our stuff

Trapper: (pulling a box out from the ruble) was most of ya'lls stuff in your foot locker

Sam: (crying into Hawkeye) yyyy…yes

Trapper: Well they survived the inpact

Hawkeye: And as far as a place to sleep ya'll can bunck in the swamp for a couple of days

Sam: You sure that's OK

Trapper: Sure

Mila: thanks guys

Hawkeye: No problem now come on lets get ya'll moved in (they walk away)

(it's about 11:00 at night Sam and Mila are in the swamp on two cot's that have been pushed together Sam is wearing a night shirt Mila is wearing pj's and brushing each others hair)

(Hawkeye and Trapper enter)

Sam: You guy's look beat

Trapper: We feel beat

Hawkeye: I need a drink

Trapper: (sit's down on his cot and starts to take of his pant's) I need a cot(looks down) found one (lays down and covers up)

Mila: Tough day huhhh…

Hawkeye: (putting his glass down and sit's back on his cot) I think we sewed up enough guy's for two more war's

Sam: we'll let's just go to sleep

Hawkeye: (throwing his pant's on his foot locker) I'll agree with that…good night

Sam: good night…nite trap

Mila: good night hawk…good night trap

Trapper: (half asleep) yea

(Sam and Mila get into bed and they turn out the light's)

(about 15 minutes later Mila is half asleep when frank enters turns on his lamp and head's for the steal)

Mila: Sam…sam (shaking her awake)

Sam: What ??

Mila: Look were ferret face is at ???

Sam: With any luck in front of a firing squad (rolls over and see's frank)

Sam: (whispers and jumps up trying to keep from waking trap and Hawkeye) Frank what are you doing get away from there

Frank: No mom I want a slice of the pie

Sam: Frank it's me Sam

Frank: But you let sister have a piece

Sam: Frank are you drunk

Hawkeye: (wakes up and looks over) Frank get away from there before I put your head in traction

Sam: but dad mom said I could

Hawkeye: Is he drunk

Sam: As a skunk

Frank: I think I'll take a little nap now (falls back on trapper)

Trapper: (wakes up startled) Wha…wha …(looks down and see's frank) Frank get off me (frank's passed out) Frank (pulls himself out from under Frank) What dose a guy have to do to get some sleep around here (stands up and then falls back on Mila and Sam's bed and straightens up into the middle)

Mila: Trapper get out of our bed

(no response)

Sam: Trapper !!

(no response Mila sit's up more)

Mila: Trapper (looks down Trapper is fast asleep)

Sam: Now what do we do

Hawkeye: Leave him alone let him sleep

Mila: but what about us

Hawkeye: go to sleep

Sam: but what about trapper

Hawkeye: dose trapper really look like he's going to pull anything

(they look down at trapper who is dead asleep)

Sam: I guess not

Hawkeye: OK then it's settled goodnight (turns out the light and Sam lays down beside Trapper and Mila)

(hours pass and the sun comes up which is an unpleasant awaking to a hung over frank who is still in trappers bed)

Frank: Oh I want to die

(trapper wakes up and notices he's in bed with Mila and Sam)

Trapper: Where am I ???

Hawkeye: (wakes up) morning sleeping beauty

Frank: stop the yelling

Trapper: How did I get here

Mila: you collapsed in our bed last night

Trapper: sorry girls

Mila: (goes to hug trapper) that's OK

Sam: MILA !!!

Mila: (pulls back inbarrsed) Opp's sorry