Heeeeyyyy everybody! I haven't even finished my first fic, and yet I'm still starting this one. Why? Because. Actually, this fic is a direct result of my first one. As I mentioned before, my Internet has been acting reeeaally freaky for the past four days. In fact, just as I finished uploading the second chapter of my first fic, my Internet connection was broken off, and my server wouldn't let me log back on. This made me a little annoyed. Scratch that. This made me extremely annoyed. So annoyed, that I decided that something needed to be done. This fic is that something. Right now, I can't think of anyone who deserves a good, super-sized helping of doom any more than my loathsome ISP. So, on with the fic.
As our story begins, K'Rin is sitting in front of her PC, innocently typing a fanfic. She finishes, and clicks on the Connect To icon so she can post her fabulous story on ffn. But, apparently, life (or maybe just K'Rin's Internet server) hates her. Her screen says "dialing" for a moment, then switches to "disconnecting". K'Rin is not very happy. As far as she sees, she is left with only two choices. Choice A: K'Rin could wait for her server to come back online, then send her providers a comprehensive (but achingly polite) email about why their service is unsatisfactory. Or she could go with choice B: Assemble the cast of IZ and go doom her ISP, no explanation given.
As K'Rin is mulling over this extremely difficult decision, her thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a small explosion, originating from her basement. K'Rin is not unduly concerned; she has given Zim permission to use her labs, and minor to moderate explosions are to be expected. Hopefully, nothing too valuable has been damaged.
"ZIM!" K'Rin yells. "What have you done this time?"
Zim does not answer, but is apparently unharmed. K'Rin can hear his maniacal laughter all the way upstairs.
"ZIM!" K'Rin yells again. "Can you come up here? I need your help with something!"
Still no reply. K'Rin starts down the stairs to her basement. "ZIM!"
This time, he answers. He opens K'Rin's lab door, then shuts it quickly behind him. He stands in the center of the stairwell, blocking K'Rin from moving any farther down.
"Zim," K'Rin asks suspiciously, "what did you do?"
He chuckles nervously. "What makes you think I've done anything?"
"There was just an explosion," K'Rin points out.
"Explosion? I heard no explosion. You must be imagining things, Zeryllian."
"Yeah. Right," K'Rin mutters. She decides to let it go. "I need your help. I'm going to go doom my lousy Internet service provider, and you're coming with me."
"Why should I help you?"
"Easy," K'Rin replies smugly. "If you come with, I'll pretend whatever you just destroyed down there never existed."
"Deal," Zim says quickly.
"I knew you'd see the light. Put out the fires and meet me upstairs. Oh, and have you seen Gir? I might need him too."
Zim stares blankly. "I thought he was with you."
"No, he was with you." A thought occurs to K'Rin. "This isn't good. If he wasn't with you, and he isn't with me, then Gir has been in my house, unsupervised, for over two hours. Oh man."
She dashes upstairs, calling for Gir. She finds him in the kitchen, holding an empty brainfreezie cup. He looks upset.
"What's the matter Gir?" K'Rin asks. She has a bad feeling about that empty cup.
"I lost my brainfreezie," he sniffs.
"Are you sure you didn't drink it?"
Gir is silent for a moment. "Yes," he replies definitely.
K'Rin groans. "Uh oh. I'd better help you look."
K'Rin begins searching the kitchen, more than a little afraid of what she may find. She pulls open all the cabinets, and looks behind the fridge. Nothing. She straightens up from peering inside the microwave. No brainfreezie. Now she's really nervous.
K'Rin yells in shock as something wet and very cold slides down her neck. She looks up. Gir's brainfreezie is stuck to the ceiling.
"My brainfreezie!" Gir cries happily.
K'Rin opens her mouth, then shuts it again. Some questions are better left unanswered. She goes to the bathroom to wash off the blob stuck to her neck.
Five minutes later, K'Rin enters her living room. Zim and Gir are standing there. Well, Zim is standing. Gir is rolling around on the floor, giggling to himself. K'Rin stares for a moment, then addresses them.
"Hold on guys. I'll be right back. There's one call I have to make before we go." K'Rin walks back into the kitchen to use the phone. She dials.
"Dib? Hi. It's K'Rin. Listen, has your Internet been acting at all weird lately?"
"Now that you mention it, it has," Dib answers thoughtfully. "I've been trying to log on to the Mysterious Mysteries site all morning, but I haven't been able to get an Internet connection. How'd you know?"
"Lucky guess. Actually, my Internet's been acting up too. I've decided to go wreak vengeance upon my obnoxious server. Wanna come?"
"I don't know," Dib replies suspiciously. "Wreaking vengeance? That sounds an awful lot like something Zim would do. Was this his idea?"
"Nope. All mine."
"Will this involve the harming of any innocent people?"
K'Rin snorted. "I would hardly call the incompetent corporate numbskulls working for my ISP innocent. So no. My wrath will be directed only at those who truly deserve it."
"Welll, okay then."
"Great. Meet me here as soon as you can."
K'Rin hangs up and returns to the living room.
"Good news guys. Dib's coming too!"
Zim looks something less than thrilled. "What! You invited that idiotic human along! Why?"
"Zim," K'Rin explains patiently, "we are looking to smite an international, multimillion dollar company. We need all the help we can get."
Zim still doesn't look happy, but capitulates when K'Rin shows no signs of changing her mind. "Oh, very well," he grumbles.
The doorbell rings. K'Rin answers it.
"Come on in. Um, you wouldn't happen to have any weapons on you, would you?"
"Hmmm. I probably should have mentioned that over the phone. That's okay. I'm sure I have something around here you can borrow. Follow me."
K'Rin leads Dib to an ordinary looking closet. She opens it to reveal a very formidable arsenal, containing everything from handheld lasers to something resembling a small nuclear warhead. She hands Dib one of the lasers, then chooses a slightly larger one for herself.
"Hey Zim?" she calls, "Do you want anything while I'm in here?"
Zim walks over to take a look. He eyes the warhead interestedly. "What's that?" he asks.
"That," K'Rin replies, "is a Zeryllian anti-matter warhead. It can destroy an entire continent in the time it takes you to blink, and don't even think about it. I promised Dib we wouldn't kill or main anyone innocent."
Zim glares at Dib, then picks up a weapon identical to K'Rin's. "I suppose this will do."
K'Rin closes the closet. "Okay. Let's go rain some doom now."
They all walk back out into the living room. Gir is still rolling on the floor.
Dib looks at K'Rin. "What are you going to do with him?"
K'Rin looks at Zim. "He's your robot."
"Gir!" Zim snaps.
Gir stands up and salutes, going instantly into red mode. "Yes, my master!"
"I'm going on a mission. Stay here and guard the house," Zim orders.
"Yes sir!" Gir's eyes return to their normal cyan color. "I'm gonna make waffles!" He runs out of the room.
"All right guys," K'Rin says, "Now that that's taken care of, it's time to go."
They all walk out of K'Rin's house.
"It's sort of a long way to the ISP's headquarters," K'Rin explains, "We'll need to fly. Zim, are you coming with me, or taking your Voot Runner?"
"I'll fly myself. I don't trust your inferior piloting skills, Zeryllian."
"Inferior?" K'Rin retorts, "Is that a challenge? Better watch yourself, Irken. I've flown circles around much better pilots than you'll ever be."
"Hah," Zim snorts, "I bet you couldn't--"
"Um guys," Dib interrupts. "Are we dooming this ISP or not? Mysterious Mysteries is on in five hours, and I didn't set a tape."
"Right. Back on task," says K'Rin. She pulls a small electronic device out of her pocket, and presses her finger to one side of it. A section of her lawn slides away, and a landing pad with both K'Rin's spacecraft and Zim's Voot Runner sitting on it rises to replace it. Zim and K'Rin board their respective ships. Dib goes with K'Rin. Both crafts lift off smoothly, and turn in the direction of ISP headquarters.
"Now the fun part," K'Rin cackles evilly. "That ISP won't know what hit it."
Okay. That's all the insane ranting I have time for today. But before I go, I need you guyses opinions. Should I, or should I not, include other fanfic authors in this little piece of lunacy? Do I even want to finish this poor, misguided piece of fan fluff? I can't make up my poor, caffeine saturated mind. Help, please?