Hey, I think I'm getting close to actually finishing something I've started! Hooray for me! Um, I'm switching to script form because I'm lazy, and don't feel like writing "so and so said" every time someone talks. One day I'm gonna hafta learn to type right.
Invader ZaiFae: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Nooooooooooooo!
K'Rin: (stares at her strangely) What's wrong?
Invader ZaiFae: I left Weasel upstairs!
K'Rin: What's Weasel?
Invader ZaiFae: My trained attack ferret of doom.
K'Rin: (puzzled) You named your ferret 'Weasel'?
Chaos Shadow: Um, aren't we supposed to be dooming stuff? No one's reading this fic to hear you two talk.
Invader Abs: (mutters) No one's reading this fic period.
K'Rin: Hey! Remember who's got the author's omnipotence here!
Invader Abs: (mutters some more) That's my point.
K'Rin: (ignoring Invader Abs) Let's go find this ISP's CEO (Ohhhh, two acronyms in a row) so we can all go home.
Saturnia: Sounds good to me.
(Invader ZaiFae, Chaos Shadow, Saturnia, Invader Abs, and K'Rin exit the elevator and walk down a long, marble-floored hallway.)
Chaos Shadow: Sheesh. These people have an awful nice building for producing such a crappy product. Can we destroy it yet?
K'Rin: Nah, first we have to punish the incompetent corporate dirt-people who took away our Internet. Then, we blow up the building.
Chaos Shadow: (shrugs) If you say so.
(Our intrepid group of fanfic authors reaches a very large, ornate mahogany door. They pause.)
Saturnia: Think the CEO's are in there?
K'Rin: (shrugs) Maybe. Let's look.
(Invader ZaiFae pulls open the door. Dib, Zim, and Invader Fiy fall out from inside.)
K'Rin: Yaahhhh! Where'd you guys come from?
Dib, Zim: (shrug)
Invader Fiy: Would it be too overdone if I said I used the staff entrance?
K'Rin: (thinks) Yes.
(The group of IZ cast and fan authors start walking some more. They come to another, even more ornate mahogany door.)
Chaos Shadow: That's definitely the one.
Dib: How can you tell?
Chaos Shadow: (points) (There is a flashing neon sign above the door. It reads "CEO Boardroom" in ten-foot high letters.) Need I say more?
(Saturnia pushes open the door. All the Internet honchos are in a meeting, finishing a deal with someone who looks very familiar…)
Everyone: *gasps in shock*
Familiar Looking Dude: Yes, it is I! Herb Scannel, President of Nickelodeon, and Lord of all sappy, kid-oriented television! (A/N: Oh come on! A fic about doom without even one reference to Nick? I had to do it!)
Saturnia: What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at Nickelodeon Studies, devising some new way to aggravate IZ fans?
Herb Scannel: I have developed a far more heinous plan! This Internet company belongs to me now! Soon, only friendly, caring, TV shows will be allowed to have websites. And strange, violently inclined kids like you won't have Internet access at all! MWAHAHAHA!
Zim: Human slime!
Dib: It's a conspiracy!
Invader Fiy: Ooooo, that is heinous.
Invader Abs: I thought a disgruntled mob of fan authors already killed that guy.
Herb Scannel: Never! No one can defeat Herb Scannel! For I am the President…of NICKELODEON! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
(In a flash of fire and brimstone, Scannel transforms into a bat. He flutters out the door past the startled fan authors.)
K'Rin: Oooookay, well that was weird.
Invader Zaifae: Can we hurt them now? (She gestures at the scared looking group of ISP honchos.)
K'Rin: (shrugs) Knock yourself out!
(There are the obligatory screams, explosions, maniacal laughter, killing, maiming, brutally injuring, dismemberment, ect. ect. ect. usually associated with this kind of fic. Finally, the carnage is over.)
Invader Abs: Well that was fun. (She's covered in bloodstains.)
Invader Fiy: What do we do now?
Dib: Are we done here? I need to go watch Mysterious Mysteries. Today's segment is on zombie gerbils.
K'Rin: Yeah, I'd say our work here is done.
(Everyone files into the elevator and returns to the surface. They all board their respective spacecrafts and return home. Dib does not miss Mysterious Mysteries. Only one question remains: Where did Herb Scannel go?)
Place: Somewhere between ISP headquarters and Florida
Altitude: 20,000 feet.
Herb Scannel (still a bat): Hahahahahahah! They will never triumph over Herb! NEVER! Mwahahahahah—Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh (gets sucked into the engine of a low flying passenger plane.) (A/N: Did anyone get the Simpsons reference?)
Wheehoo! Yes! I have finished a fic! And what a weird, twisted little fic it was! Thanks again to everyone who volunteered to be in this thing. R&R