DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto, it belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

NOTES: Written for Rel! This little drabble came about when she said that Shino, if he danced, would probably do the robot and body pop. Then, when we were in London, we saw a dance troupe with some guy doing the robot and body popping, and I couldn't resist any longer - it had to be written. Only...what was supposed to be a drabble become a large oneshot that expanded on the dancing and became an introduction to Drunk!Shino.

Some things I should warn you about in this 'drabble' - Kiba and Shino are very drunk. There is Neji bashing (I don't hate Neji, I just found it very funny - not to mention I don't like NejiTen, so this was just my way of encouraging Shino on his quest). Shino, when drunk, gets a little loud, aggressive, and more brooding then normal.

And a big lesson to be learned - Shino acting under the advice of Kiba isn't really a good thing. I'm sure he'll realise this when he sobers up.

Hopefully the 'voice' of this story is formal and choppy enough to pass as being influenced by Drunk!Shino. The song I imagine Shino dancing to is one Rel showed me when I was typing this fic up. It's Just Dance, by Lady Gaga.

A NOTE ABOUT THE STATUS. It will be listed as complete but will be updated whenever a new drabble is uploaded - so please don't think this is it, there's more to come.

Enjoy, and please review!

TITLE: Cocktail Robots

PAIRINGS: ShinoTen, KibaHina


GENRE: Humour/Romance

By the time Shino became aware, it was too late. He didn't particularly want to know how Kiba became so skilled in the art of spiking drinks with alcohol throughout a whole evening, without a seasoned ninja like himself noticing. It seemed like one of those skills that you should never bring up in public, like being able to dislocate joints at will or fart the national anthem.

Somehow, though, Kiba had managed to get an awful lot of alcohol into Shino's body undetected. And by the time Shino had caught on and tried to use his kikkai bugs to drain the alocohol away, they were already too drunk to do much more then roll around and twitter underneath his skin.

Yes, Kiba had thought this one out well. Touche, Kiba, touche. Shino had been too irritable and low to notice the intake of alcohol from what should have been perfectly regular fruit smoothies. Now, many smoothies down the line, Shino was drinking something Kiba had called a strawberry daiquiri and was trying to remember why he wore such a stifling jacket and underjacket.

Both were very problematic, of course – the underjacket's collar kept blocking his lips from the straw. The overjacket was stifling – claustrophobic, even. The hood felt like it was hugging his head, and he felt very overheated. His cheeks were especially warm. He wanted to take both jackets off and be done with them, except that the one time he'd pulled down his collar to sip on the straw, several girls in the nearby vicinity had turned an alarming shade of puce and hadn't stopped looking at him as of yet.

Girls who weren't the one he wanted to be looking.

Shino looked over his shoulder, frowning beneath his collar at the sight of Tenten chattering away to Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino. The room was tilted slightly to the side for reasons he couldn't understand, but she was easily recognisable. He found it completely irrational that the one night he allowed Kiba to drag him to Konoha's newest cocktail bar would also be the one night that half of Konoha went as well, including the girl he couldn't take his eyes off of.

His lips drooped. A girl who probably also thought of him as the 'creepy bug guy who looks like a walking tarpaulin', as Yamanaka had so fondly dubbed him. Shino had never before thought of his bloodline limit and his family trait with anything other then pride and tonight was no difference except that, under the influence of much alcohol, he felt much more bitterness and resentment towards his ignorant fellow ninja.

He had no idea how Tenten felt about the kikkai that lived beneath his skin. As he watched her from behind his glasses, he decided that she was a strong kunoichi whose opinions he respected – her opinions were often valid and concise. This surely meant, that with those attractive qualities, she would –

He hung his head. No matter how he wanted to look at it, Tenten was a girl. Girls tended to run screaming at the sight of bugs. And, just his luck, his kikkai were often affected by his feelings and subtle bodily suggestions.

The image of a kikkai going straight for Tenten's chest and sending the weapon's master shrieking for the hills made him slump on the barstool. The kikkai would be able to convey its contentment at the softness of Tenten's chest through chakra later, but Shino would be irrevocably shamed and even more unlikely to catch her eye than before.

Shino blinked. He'd usually been quietly hopeless but lost in fantasy when it came to Tenten – the girl made him lose a fair bit of his practicality. But he'd never been this pessimistic before. He guessed (rightly) that alcohol and himself didn't mix, and that he was a depressive drinker.

And he hadn't intentionally gotten drunk.

"I do not understand," Shino said miserably. He adjusted his sunglasses on his nose. His vision was hazy, and the darkness of the lenses were only making it worse. He might have actually considered taking them off, except that the red-faced girls were still watching him and he felt just a little afraid of them. He decided that this was because of the alcohol, too. He looked over at Kiba, who was also rather sideways (along with being blurry) and finishing his frozen margarita in greedy gulps. "KIBA!"

The sudden loudness of his voice starled both himself and the dog ninja. Akamaru got up from the floor and gave Shino a curious look. Shino ducked his head inside his underjacket collar, briefly ashamed of his uncontrollable vocals. Kiba blinked at him, a little hazy. The Inuzuka had imbibed just over double the amount Shino had – but then, Shino had never had alcohol before and was bound to be a lightweight. "What?"

"Why would you bring a cocktail bar to me? How could you put drink in my alcohol?" The bug ninja rested his forehead in his hands, the room spinning. "Wait..."

"It's normal, Shino," Kiba slurred, slapping his teammate on the back. Shino's body slumped forward with the slap and his forehead knocked the thankfully empty daiquiri glass over. Both ninja winced as it bounced against the wooden counter, and then breathed sighs of relief when it didn't break. "You're drunk. Figured it'd do you some good, but I knew you wouldn't have the balls to drink alcohol willingly."

The balls? Shino glared at his teammate, an eyebrow twitching. It had nothing to do with balls and everything to do with how alcohol affected both the kikkai and himself. Thanks to Kiba, Shino was now unable to control his bugs, who were almost paralytic.

This was why Shino often reconsidered calling Kiba a 'friend'. The Inuzuka paid little consideration to minor details, such as feelings. He would go off on missions excluding Shino without a second thought. Shino felt that he would love to find a mission that Kiba wasn't selected for and then rub it in the insensitive idiot's face.

Suddenly overwhelmed with the unfairness of it all, Shino narrowed his foggy eyes and tried to send a kikkai to zap Kiba. When the drunken bugs refused to obey, he turned his back on the ninja and clumsily turned on his stool to face the person on his other side.

Hinata was a good person, Shino decided, very grateful for her all of a sudden. She left him too, but she always apologised. Even though she wasn't very courageous around insects, she stood by him like a comrade should.

"You are a good friend, Hinata," Shino said sincerely to her, patting her on the arm. "I feel you should know."

Hinata glared at him, nursing her screwdriver. "I am Neji, you oaf."

Shino squinted. Now that Hinata mentioned it, she did look rather more masculine then before, and her voice was a little deep. He couldn't remember at what stage Hinata had turned into Neji, and it was very confusing. "I see," he said. "For how long have you been Neji?"

Next to him, Kiba began to choke and splutter, spraying his cocktail over the bar as he began to laugh. Neji gave Shino a disgusted look and got up, taking his screwdriver away with him. Shino felt that this was very rude, and vowed to pay Neji back as soon as his kikkai were sober.

"Where did Hinata go?" Shino asked Kiba. He had to tell her how good she was – it was of the upmost importance.

Even through the film over his eyes, Shino could see Kiba's face darken. "Who knows? She's probably gone off with someone – she could have anyone she wants, you know?" Akamaru whined lowly, sadly, and Kiba stroked his head.

Shino blinked. "Hinata does not want 'anyone'."

Kiba barked out a harsh laugh, draining his cocktail and slamming his glass down onto the bar with unnecessary force. "Yeah, I know. Known for the longest time – ain't that the limit?"

Shino was amazed that he could be so amazed at Kiba's stupidity even when drunk. He was amazed that he could fit amazed so many times into a sentence, as well, but tried to focus on the topic at hand. If Kiba knew who Hinata wanted, why didn't he react? If Tenten gave Shino the correct signals, he would hardly sit around drinking cocktails. He wasn't sure what he would do, but nothing was not an option. "Then why are you still here?"

Kiba glared. "Where else would I go, dummy?"

Normally, Shino hated to have his intelligence insulted, especially when it was vastly above Kiba's. However, the wonderful effect of alcohol meant that he tried to zap Kiba with his bugs and, when it didn't work again, decided to just let it slide. "To Hinata."

The dog ninja gestured for another drink, and glowered at Shino. "That a joke? Geez. Why would I sniff around Hinata when all she wants is Uzumaki? I'm not desperate."

Shino rather felt that Kiba was desperate, given the amount he was drinking and the way he noticed the Inuzuka shooting looks towards the Hyuuga girl across the bar. He had never realised that Kiba had feelings for Hinata until now – Shino was impressed that he'd kept his feelings so well masked. And he suddenly understood the reason for Kiba's restraint.

He believed that Hinata wanted Naruto. And he wasn't interfering for the sake of Hinata's happiness. Even though he thought that Kiba was clearly a gargantuan idiot for not realising the truth, Shino felt a small blossom of warmth for him. "You are a good friend, Kiba."

He waited for Kiba to say that he was actually Hana. Instead, he got: "Shut up, bug boy."

"Do not tell me to shut up when this is YOUR FAULT," Shino glowered – his voice rising again and surprising several nearby ninja, including Kiba. He didn't bother to lower his voice this time. He was too dizzy and incoherent to care.

"I just got you a little drunk!" Kiba snickered, edging away from Shino on his stool. He didn't believe the bug ninja would ever attack him, but even he had to admit that Shino was a scary drunk. "Plus, you might actually have the guts to make a move on Tenten."

Shino rolled his eyes behind his glasses and inwardly used every curse he'd never say out loud before he realised what Kiba had said. He turned towards the dog ninja, almost sliding off of the stool with his uncoordinated movements. A wave of dizziness struck him and he stopped himself from pitching forward into Kiba's lap by grasping the edge of the bar. "What did you say?"

"C'mon, man," Kiba shrugged. "You're about as subtle as Uzumaki around a ramen stand."

He felt mortified. What signals had he given? How had he been so obvious that even Kiba had noticed? He twitched on the stool, wondering just how many people knew that Shino had a crush on Tenten. Did Tenten herself know?

He felt the happiness drain out of the world. It would be over before anything could even start.

"Relax," Kiba laughed. "I would never have noticed if I couldn't pick up on pheremones. No one could notice you staring with that get-up, anyhow."

Shino was too on-edge to be relieved. Because his kikkai were indisposed, he settled for kicking Kiba in the shin.

"OUCH! The fuck was that for?"

"You are not a good friend," Shino said, hoping to hurt Kiba with the conviction in his voice. "You are..." He searched his memory for derogatory terms and said the first one he could remember. "...an asshat."

Kiba stared. "Did you just call me an asshat?"

"If the shoe fitssss."

"...are you slurring?"


"You are."


"You really need to learn to curse better, Shino." Kiba shook his head. "Asshat? What are you, a twelve-year-old girl?"

Shino glared.

"You're meant to say stuff like, 'suck my balls', or 'smoke my pole'. Call me a fucker, a dick, a gutterslut – anything but that poor excuse of a word."

Shino's glare deepened, and his eyebrow twitched.

Kiba held his hands up. "Look man, whatever. Point is, you like Tenten. You should tell Tenten."

"Hypocrite," Shino muttered, his cheeks red. He had considered telling Tenten several times, but whenever he had decided that he would, he'd seen her with a friend, or with that abominable Hyuuga Neji, and he would lose his confidence. Tenten always seemed to glow around Neji – and Neji was Shino's complete opposite when it came to outfits and possession of bugs.

"Oh shut it," Kiba said, turning red. "Like Hinata would ever like me."

"You are a fool," Shino replied. Kiba clearly wasn't as good at reading pheremones as he liked to think.

Trying to steer the conversation away from himself, Kiba said, "Look, knowing you, you'll be all emo and regret it for the rest of your life if you don't at least try. At least if you do try and she turns you down, you'll only be emo without the regrets."

Shino glared, but it went unnoticed because of his glasses.

"You gotta snap her up before someone else does, man," Kiba said, and sighed. "Trust me on that."

Shino shook his head. He could see the wisdom in Kiba's words, even if the other ninja's melancholy was unfounded. He looked around the bar, annoyed at the fact that his vision was still skewed, and found Tenten. "She is perfect," he said aloud. "So strong and elegant at the same time. She even looks queenly when speaking to Hinata."

Kiba looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow. "That's Neji, dumbass."

Shino went cold. Even his drunken, chittering kikkai seemed to snap to attention. The one responsible for their host's interest – and the one who could be the heir to their pact and bloodline limit – was being threatened by a lady boy. This was not allowed.

Noticing the sudden deep freeze in his teammate, Kiba looked over curiously. Shino looked perfectly normal, except for the deep furrow between his brows. It was more of an instinctual thing, and Kiba figured that if instinctually-felt hostility could kill, then Neji would be filleted, fried and served with teriyaki sauce.

Maybe it was because of the alcohol, but Kiba suddenly had an idea and it seemed like the best idea in the world. He grinned at Akamaru, who wagged his tail at this sign of happiness but was smart enough to eyeball Kiba nervously.

"Oi, Shino."

The bug ninja grunted in reply, imagining his kikkai pulling the perfect Hyuuga's hair out strand by strand. The other man was dancing with Tenten now, who looked a little flustered. For a brief moment, Tenten's chocolate eyes had landed on Shino's...erm...lenses, and then she let herself get taken over to the crowded dancefloor.

"Let's do a dare."

Dares with Kiba could only be bad, but Shino needed distracting. He realised that with or without functioning kikkai, he was only moments away from poking Neji's eyes out.

"You make a move on Tenten, and I'll make a move on Hinata. I triple dare both of us."

Shino tensed in surprise, and turned to look at Kiba. The dog ninja smirked and raised his cocktail as if in toast.

"Unless you're too chicken."

Shino hesitated. He was sure there must be an ulterior motive, but his mind wasn't working to the best of its ability and he was too caught up on the implications to care. This would be the perfect opportunity to approach Tenten and, curse his pride, leave unscathed in case she said no. Publicly, anyway. In his heart, he would be crushed no matter what.

"What is the catch?"

Kiba grinned. "If neither of us do it, we have to accept that D Rank mission the old lady with the farm has had pinned up for a few days now."

Shino cringed. It was a farm of terrors and nobody wanted to accept that mission. Ever.

It was a bad idea. He knew it, even past the spiked drinks and the strawberry daiquiri. And yet, as he watched Tenten dancing with Neji on the dancefloor, beneath the colourful strobe lights, the overwhelming wish that it was him brought him to a decision.

"I accept."

Kiba snicked and slapped a palm on the bar. "Excellent!" He looked over to where Hinata was listening to a raving Naruto, a small smile on her face and a little blush on her cheeks. "We start now and have until midnight. Gives us one and a half hours." He drained the last of his cocktail, suddenly enthused.

Even if he didn't win Hinata from Naruto, he'd sure have fun trying. Slipping away from Shino, Kiba walked towards Hinata and Naruto with Akamaru hot on his heels. While tipsy, Kiba had a high tolerance for alcohol and was able to walk in a fairly straight line.

That was until he got closer to the pair, which was when he tripped over thin air and fell between Naruto and Hinata, landing against the table behind them. "Ooopsie!" He slurred.

"Kiba-kun!" Hinata gasped, helping him up. Her face went red when Kiba grinned down at her. "A-are you alright?"

"I'm fiiiiiine," Kiba bellowed. "Just had a few too many margaritas." He turned and slapped Naruto on the shoulder, hard enough to startle the jinchuuriki. "Naruto! It's been a while. What are you doing, hanging around Hinata?"

If Naruto caught the note in Kiba's voice, he didn't show it. He grinned and shrugged, sipping his iced tea. "I bumped into Hinata on the way here, and had to check this place out! Oi, you okay Kiba?" He squinted at the dog ninja's face. "You have a creepy grin on your face."

"Do I?" Kiba's eerie grin grew even wider and he flung an arm around Hinata's shoulder. The young woman squeaked, almost fainting, and her wobbly legs made her burrow further against Kiba's side. "I'm just happy to see my friends! Nothing creepy in that."

Naruto begged to differ, but he just laughed awkwardly instead. Rubbing the back of his head, the blond slowly backed away. He didn't know what was wrong with Kiba, and he wasn't particularly fond of finding out what. "I'll, uh – I'll just go find Sakura-chan. See ya!" He zipped off.

Kiba chuckled. He was glad that he'd stolen the ex-lax liquid tabs from Sakura's medic pouch – he'd always known he'd find a use for them, and with Naruto holding his drink right there – well, it'd been too good to pass up.

Content with knowing that Naruto would be otherwise occupied for the rest of the night, Kiba turned a 1000 watt smile on Hinata. "So – what's a girl like you doing here, Hinata?"

Shino lost and regained his courage several times while on his barstool, willing his kikkai to sober up enough to be there to support him should he need it...even though he had ordered, and drained, another two daiquiris in record time. Eventually, realising that they were truly out for the count, he slumped against the bar and almost gave up for good.

Until he noticed that Tenten was still dancing with Neji.

He glared. Neji was...average. Average looks, average intelligence. For someone as practical and smart as Tenten to like the Hyuuga would be an insult to themselves. Shino could not stand the idea of Tenten insulting herself.

He got off of the barstool and nearly faceplanted. He was surprised by just how badly alcohol hindered his body, and wondered how the Hokage managed to get by on a daily basis. With renewed respect for the busty woman, Shino took a deep breath and tried to walk as confidently and straightly as possible.

He wasn't even sure what he was doing. He was letting his body and the drink work for him, and that was unfortunate, because he stumbled several times and almost tripped over his own feet.

By the time he reached the dancing pair, he very nearly wanted to back out from his embarrassment.

However, the sight of Neji's irritated look when he saw Shino made the bug ninja's resolve return in droves. Shino glared at Neji through his glasses and the cocktail goggles he wore.

"I'm cutting in," Shino said, and stepped between Neji and Tenten. Tenten's eyes widened, a flush rising on her cheeks. She looked wonderful, in a cheongsam dress of warm muted reds that complimented her colouring. If Kiba could really sense pheremones, Shino was sure that he was broadcasting his impure thoughts to the dog ninja at that very moment.

"I don't – " The angry Hyuuga began.

"Did you not hear me?" Shino asked curtly, slurring his words. "Allow me to assist you, Hyuuga-san."

He took the hood off of his head and unzipped the high collar of his underjacket. He pulled the collar down, exposing his face to the bar and causing several fangirls to collapse.

"I said," Shino glared, his voice completely monotone (an interesting affect when paired with drunken slurring), "I'm cutting in. So I request that you leave, or I will have have to ask you to suck my balls."

Shino had no idea how Kiba could have heard him from the other side of the bar, but he didn't doubt that the raucous laughter he heard was because of him.

"Excuse – "

It was at that moment that Shino's kikkai, not wanting to waste this opportunity for their host to find a mate, acted completely of their own accord and swarmed out of Shino's coat. Neji, while not terrified of bugs, was wisely terrified of chakra-enhanced, angry drunken bugs. He turned heel and ran with the little black cloud of dazed bugs following him and occasionally flying into walls.

On a high from his boldness and Neji's complete humiliation, Shino turned back to Tenten.

And was then presented with something of an issue.

He didn't know how to dance.

"Shino, I..." Tenten's amazement was written all over her face, and she was turning redder and redder the more she looked at him. "You...your coat..."

She didn't even seem concerned about Neji, which delighted Shino to no end. If he'd known his face would have this effect on her, he might have unzipped his coat sooner.

Testing this new tool, Shino gave her a small smile.

Tenten gulped.

"Dance with me," Shino said, his voice a little louder and more commanding then he intended. He wondered if he should apologise, but Tenten – looking dazed and very starstruck, nodded weakly and began to sway as a new track came on. Remembering that he couldn't dance, Shino cursed himself for his stupidity.

Then he heard the beat of the song and realised that this...this he could do.

Were Shino sober, the idea of dancing in front of anybody would never have made it past his brain. If someone had suggested it, they would probably have made an exit much like Hyuuga Neji just did.

But luckily for Shino, he was anything but sober.

And so he began to do The Robot.

Tenten's dancing slowed down, completely at odds to the pacey beat, as she stared in awe. Shino – stoic, silent and brooding Shino – was doing a dance that, while probably the only plausible one for him to do, was completely against everything Shino-related she'd ever stored in her brain.

And the infatuated girl had stored a lot.

At first, she – and everyone else – wasn't sure what to think. Shino moved stiffly and acted the part of the robot so well that for a moment, the whole dancefloor was simply stunned and a little worried about the bug ninja. But when The Robot turned into a series of fluid body popping moves and impressive breakdancing, a few others began to copy him...and Tenten herself became completely focused on the liquid way that Shino was moving.

She felt rather then saw his eyes on her, and coughing at having been caught staring, she began to dance to match his movements. She never would have thought, in her wildest dreams, that the Shino who had seemed so lonesome and staunch and...asexual...would dance with her, scare off Neji...

And have one hell of a face.

Tenten wasn't a shallow girl, but that face launched all of her ships.

"You're a good dancer," she called to him over the loud music. She leant in closer, deciding that if Shino was going to get rid of his subtlety, so should she. She breathed in his scent and brushed her nose along his jaw.

Shino stiffened, his eyes widening behind his glasses. Her hair brushed his chin and the feeling momentarily cleared his foggy head. "So...so are you, Tenten-san..."

"Just Tenten," she replied, and Shino gasped when she tilted her head up to press her lips against his. It was a warm, gentle touch that sent spirals of heat and dizziness down to his feet. She took advantage of his surprise and ran her tongue along the seam of his lips before slipping it past them to touch his.

She pulled back to look him, amused to see shock and red cheeks on the usually expressionless face, but frustrated to realise that even in spite of this, she still didn't know what was going on inside his head. She touched his cheek, enjoying the warmth of his skin. "What are you thinking, Shino?"

He swallowed. "I am thinking of the daiquiris."

And he turned and threw up in the potted plant against the wall behind him.

Kiba had shot himself in the foot. He realised this now and dear god, did he feel stupid. When Chouji and Shikamaru had offered him a hit of their joint for courage's sake, he'd left Hinata alone for a moment and taken a big hit of the smokey treat.

But, in true stoned style, Kiba found himself distracted by food. He'd been so busy fighting over the last onion ring with Chouji that he lost track of what was happening, and when he turned around he saw Neji talking to Hinata. Akamaru had draped himself across the girl as possessively as possible, and was growling lowly at the Hyuuga.

Sensing something amiss, Kiba stomped over to where Hinata was sitting. "Everything okay? Sorry I was so long, Hinata." He flopped into the chair next to her and unashamedly put his arm across the back of her chair. She flushed darkly and dropped her gaze.

Kiba didn't know how to take these flushes, and she hadn't been very forthcoming all night. His only hint that he wasn't unwelcome was the faint traces of pheremones he was picking up on. Praying that they were for him, Kiba had continued his onslaught of conversation and gentle, subtle touches.

He didn't really do subtle, but...for Hinata, he knew he had to try.

He suddenly noticed that Hyuuga Neji looked very worse for wear. His hair was mussed and matted in places, his cheeks red. Sweat had gathered along his hairline. Kiba wrinkled his nose – Neji smelled very unappetising right now. He was sure that if the Neji Fanclub could borrow his senses and get a whiff of this, at least half of them would defect. "Oi oi – what happened here?"

Neji glowered and grit his teeth. "Hinata is coming home. She doesn't need to spend time in a place like this with the likes of you."

Kiba sat up straighter. "What? The hell gives you the right to talk to me like that, jackass?"

"K-Kiba-kun, N-Nej – "

"You are beneath her," Neji replied. Kiba was sure that Neji wasn't this insufferable on most days, but the smell and the current attitude of the guy ex-nayed any sympathy he might have had. Those words were the last thing Kiba wanted to hear.

"Neji!" Hinata gasped. "How could you?"

Seeing the horrified look on Hinata's face encouraged Kiba. Aside from what his nose told him, he had just received the first sign that she might actually be attainable.

"Well you're beneath me, fuckface," Kiba replied, grinning. He looked at Hinata. "If it's intentions you're worried about, don't worry – mine are as good and pure as they get. I like her a lot and I wouldn't ruin it by being a bastard."

At his words, Hinata swooned and almost fainted. Neji looked outraged.

"But it's none of your business anyway. Hinata will do whatever she wants with me, whenever she wants. So now," Kiba smirked, "I'm gonna have to ask you to suck my balls."

Neji's jaw flapped open and closed. He felt warmth on his leg and looked down to see Akamaru creating a waterfall against his leg. "DAMN IT!"

Kiba laughed, looking at Hinata, who blushed and looked down. He tipped her head back up with his finger. "I meant what I said, Hinata. I know you like Uzumaki, but..."

"N-Naruto-kun's my friend," she replied, eyes wide. "I d-don't like him like I l-like you..."

It was all of his Christmases, all at once. And all thanks to a dare he'd made with Shino, of all people. Suddenly feeling heady with the brilliance of it all, Kiba looked at her lips and leant in.

"Hinata, don't you d – "

Neji's threat was cut off as the wayward swarm of drunken kikkai, previously lost by Neji's quick escape and distracted by a woman they'd thought was him, flew towards him – chittering their triumph and bumping off of objects as they raced towards him. He yelled his frustration and ran, the cloud of inebriated bugs following in his wake.

He was completely ignored as Kiba's lips touched Hinata's for the first time, her soft gasp all the encouragement he needed to deepen it. At his feet, Akamaru gave a happy yip.

The dog felt very proud for suggesting they go to this bar in the first place.