Author's Notes: Welcome to Manchester Lost, a 100,000+ word action/adventure/humor/romance/angsty ensemble sequel novel thing!
This all came about when I was scouring the internet for Good Omens fanfiction and came across someone, I forget who, saying they wouldn't mind the whole "Character X gets kidnapped by Hell as punishment and Character Y saves him" plot as long as it had more plot and action than that. My muse decided to take up that challenge.
Aziraphale finally cracked and resorted to physical violence to quell this latest in a long line of unruly customers who simply insisted on making off with his best books.
He had lost six different first editions in the past three weeks (and would always mourn their losses, may they rest in peace, Amen), but this… this hooligan wanted to take his first edition signed copy of The Importance of Being Earnest, and, well, that warranted a holy smiting if anything ever did. Crowley – that, that bugger, he hasn't shown up in three weeks! Not a single word! I should smite him too! - would be proud; he had always been advocating a little violence in the defense of the books, although he always insisted it should be the first thing the angel did to customers entering his shop.
Despite being clocked over the head with a blessed miracled baseball bat, the customer got up, brushed dust off his clothes, and bought the book anyway.
Aziraphale, in all six thousand years on Earth, had never cried. But oh, how he wanted to now. Still he steeled his resolve, closed the shop (although that didn't seem to stop anyone lately, they just broke in and took books, Aziraphale was fairly certain that he hadn't had as many books as he'd lost in the past three weeks) and headed to St. James' Park to calm down.
There weren't any ducks today either.
A humble fanfiction sequel to Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's Good Omens
intended solely for entertainment, as those not owned by Messrs Pratchett and Gaiman are owned by God, Satan or Humanity
God (The Almighty Solitaire Player)
Metatron (The Voice of God)
Jesus (The Almighty's Son and Southern Hippie)
Michael (Archangel of Warriors of the smite-first-ask-questions-later variety)
Raphael (Archangel of Healing and too nice for his own good)
Uriel (Archangel of Repentance and perpetually high)
Gabriel (Archangel of Revelations and surrounded by idiots)
Aziraphale (Principality, part-time bookseller and Southern Pansy)
Lucifer (Satan, The Adversary, etc.)
Beelzebub (Prince of Hell, Lord of the Flies)
Mammon (Archdevil of Gluttony)
Belial (Archdevil of Sloth and Lust)
Moloch (Archdevil of Wrath)
Dagon (Duke of Hell for Reasons He is Uncertain Of)
Crowley (Serpent of Eden and Southern Flash Bastard)
Adam (Reluctant Antichrist and Southern Obviously a Witch)
Dog (former Hellhound and current leg-humper)
War (Redhead with artillery and parentage issues)
Pollution (Pasty, flighty bishonen who just wants to get the Apocalypse over with)
Famine (Cutthroat businessman ironically not good at short-term planning)
Anathema Device-Pulsifer (Avid reader, full-time mother, witch and former descendant)
Newton Pulsifer (Hapless father and bane of electronics)
Aziraphale Pulsifer (three-year-old psychic)
Bentley Pulsifer (also a three-year-old psychic)
Madame Tracy (Painted Jezebel, Whore of Babylon and Medium)
Sergeant Shadwell (Northern Witchfinder, retired in name only)
Pippin Galadriel Moonchild (quick-tempered redhead and feminist)
Brian (Adam's perpetually dirty friend living in his basement)
Wensleydale (Adam's cleaner, smarter friend living next door)
Sister Prudence (nun of the Order of Our Most Holy Lady of the Righteous Smiting)
Skuzz (former Lesser Biker of the Apocalypse, current diner bouncer)
Those Already Dead but Bear Mentioning Anyway
Agnes Nutter (witch, prophetess and author)
Agostino Nutter ("warlocke" and best-seller of fiction)
Ligur (Duke of Hell killed by bucket of holy water used in the oldest trick in the book)
Hastur (Duke of Hell killed by the foot of an enraged Principality)
Big Ted, Pigbog and Greaser (Former Hell's Angels and Lesser Bikers of the Apocalypse)