by Tetra26/Batty Gal
Summary: Yuuri has trouble keeping his – ahem – sword under control. Wolfram is simply appalled by it all. Onesided Wolfram/Morgif, slight Wolfram/Yuuri.
"It's getting dark, Yuuri. Perhaps we should stop here?" Wolfram suggested, as he relieved Yuuri of his sword for the umpteenth time that afternoon.
Yuuri, who was out of breath and bested once again, nodded. "Yes, I'm tired."
"Wimp," Wolfram mumbled as he sheathed his sword.
"Wait a minute, you were the one who asked me to stop! I would have kept going," Yuuri whined, which caused Wolfram to snicker at how affronted he looked.
"Whatever," he said as he watched Yuuri walk over and pick up Morgif, who sounded just as whiny as his owner as he was being put away.
"I'm going to go freshen up for dinner," Wolfram said. He started to walk away, but noticed a sheet of paper on the ground.
"Hey, Yuuri? Is that paper yours?"
Yuuri looked over at the sheet lying on the ground. "Ah yes! That's important!" He walked over beside Wolfram to pick it up, but Wolfram halted him.
"I'll get it for you," he said as he turned his back to Yuuri, and bent over to retrieve it.
After he grabbed it, he went to straighten himself, but heard a kissing sound behind him.
However, that wasn't the problem.
The problem was the he felt a pair of lips on his behind during that sound.
He paused, in shock.
Surely, it was his imagination.
Just as he was about to dismiss it, he felt it again – and heard a very jovial moaning sound behind him.
"Don't tell me you're stuck like that, Wolfram," Yuuri joked.
"I... I'm not!" he said, still stunned. He quickly straightened up, and handed Yuuri the paper.
"What's wrong, Wolf?" Yuuri asked, his face showing concern. "You look like you've seen a ghost!"
"No... nothing's wrong! Nothing at all!" Wolfram said, nervously.
"Just as long as you're okay... Morgif! Will you quit moaning so loudly?" Yuuri said, looking down in annoyance at the gleeful sword on his side.
Wolfram, who didn't dare look at Morgif, started to back away. "I'll see you at dinner time, alright?" he said, before turning and hurrying off.
As Yuuri watched his retreating back, he wondered what it was that seemed to have Wolfram so bothered.
"Ah well, I'll ask him about it later," he said, as he went to put his sword away.
"Wolfram, are you ready to go practice sword-fighting?" Yuuri asked, cheerfully.
Wolfram turned and smiled at his friend. "Sure, why not?"
"Alright, hold on. I'll go get Morgif."
Wolfram's smile froze as he remembered the events of the prior day.
"Oh, I'm sorry Yuuri! I forgot, I have to do something!" he said, quickly. "I won't be able to practice with you today."
"Aw, I see..." Yuuri said, disappointedly. "What do you have to do?"
Wolfram, who was already backing away, tried to come up with an excuse. Fast. "Aahh, I just need to... take care of some business for Gwendal! Yeah..."
"Very well, tomorrow perhaps?"
"Perhaps," he said, as he turned and practically ran away.
"Huh... that's the second day he's gotten that 'deer caught in headlights' look on his face. I forgot to ask him about it last night. I'll have to remind myself to do so later on," Yuuri mumbled to himself as he walked off.
After a week of Wolfram giving him every excuse to not practice sword-fighting with him, Yuuri was bothered by it. Every time he asked Wolfram if there was something wrong, Wolfram assured him that there wasn't.
So why was he avoiding practicing with him?
Yuuri wondered if there was something that happened during their last practice that may have enticed Wolfram into not wanting to practice with him anymore. After all, he seemed to get extremely nervous afterwards.
He sat at his desk, staring in boredom at the paperwork in front of him. He wished that he was out in the sun practicing with Wolfram, instead.
Just then, both Gwendal and Günter rushed into his office.
"Your Majesty, we have a situation on the outskirts of town!" Günter said.
"What's wrong?" he asked, instantly alarmed.
"Bandit gangs going at it over their perceived 'territory', and causing misery for the people there," Gwendal said, somberly.
"Let's go," Yuuri said.
"I'll go get Morgif."
Yuuri was now positively and completely certain that Wolfram had a problem with him.
For starters, he was riding beside Murata, and not him.
Secondly, when he had first rode up beside Wolfram, he had gotten that 'deer caught in headlights' look again.
Finally, well, Wolfram wasn't beside him. He was beside Murata. Yuuri figured that last thought was worth repeating in his mental listing of proof that Wolfram had a problem with him.
If that was not bad enough, Morgif would absolutely not shut up. He kept moaning in agony, like he was heartbroken or something. The sword had been fine when he'd first got him, and had even been extremely happy when the group first gathered.
He remembered how Morgif had practically leapt off his hip when he saw Wolfram. Maybe that was what was wrong with Morgif; he missed Wolfram as much as Yuuri did.
All in all, Yuuri was miserable.
"So, are you and Shibuya fighting?" Murata asked the miserable-looking man beside him.
"No, not at all," Wolfram replied, quietly.
"Then why are you not back there with him, and are up here with me?"
"Conrart's back there with him, it isn't necessary for me to be back there as well."
"Oh wow! Now I know something is wrong! What did he do to you?"
"He didn't do anything to me."
"Ooh, so that's the problem? That he didn't do anything?"
"No! I'm saying that Yuuri isn't the problem!" Wolfram exclaimed, in annoyance.
"Then what is the problem?"
"You know I'll find out whether you tell me or not, right?"
Wolfram glared at the smirking man riding beside him.
"Well? What's the problem? I'm going to pester you until you tell me."
"The problem is that perverted sword, Morgif," Wolfram admitted.
Wolfram gritted his teeth. "That damn sword kissed me. On the butt. Twice."
Wolfram watched, utterly annoyed, as Murata threw his head back and howled with laughter.
"Will you cut it out? Everyone is looking at us trying to figure out what's wrong!" Wolfram hissed, glancing around quickly and seeing several people's quizzical expressions.
"Oh man... oh. Ooooooh," Murata choked out, his eyes filled with tears.
Wolfram ignored Murata until he managed to bring himself under control again.
"So, because Morgif kissed you there, you've been avoiding Yuuri?"
"Only when he has that sword. Like now."
"So that's why Morgif is back there having a fit and moaning. His beloved Wolfram isn't close enough to him."
"That's why I'm away from him. That sword tried to get away from him and molest me again when I rode up beside Yuuri!"
"Huh. I thought Morgif only liked girls. I guess he makes an exception for you? Anyhow, why didn't you tell Yuuri about that incident? He thinks you're avoiding him."
"How can he think I'm avoiding him when I'm with him unless he has that damned sword? And anyhow, what was I supposed to say? 'Hey Yuuri, you need to keep your sword under control. He just kissed my ass!'"
Murata started to laugh again, while Wolfram simply pouted.
"Seriously, just tell him what happened. He thinks you don't want to be with him."
"But I am with him most of the time. We sleep together, eat together, bathe together – among other things. I don't get how he can feel that way just because I can't bring myself to go anywhere near him when he has Morgif."
"Shibuya's gotten used to you being with him all the time. Anything less and he thinks something is wrong."
"And anything more, and he thinks everything is wrong. I can't win with him."
"I don't know, I think you're getting somewhere with him," Murata said.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because his eyes are burning holes in my back out of jealousy, right now. Just glance back."
Wolfram did so, and indeed caught Yuuri glaring at Murata with a peeved expression. "Well, I'll be... how did you know?"
"A feeling I had. Just tell him about the sword thing. I'm pretty sure he can figure out what to do with his swords."
"Swords? He only has one."
"You innocent Mazoku, you..."
It was a full two minutes before Wolfram figured out what he meant.
"Pervert!" Yuuri heard Wolfram yell, and wondered just what the Hell he and Murata had been intensely discussing.
He was utterly bothered by how close they seemed at the moment, and glared as Murata almost fell off his horse from laughing so hard at something Wolfram said.
Morgif's moans also seemed to get louder and louder, and Yuuri was at his breaking point.
"Morgif, will you shut up! Damn!" Yuuri cursed, ignoring the people who glanced in his direction.
"Yuuri, is there something wrong?" Conrart asked, gently.
"Morgif won't be quiet! He's been moaning loudly since we started on this trip, and it's getting on my nerves."
"Maybe he just wants some action?"
"Then he should be happy since he's going to get some. He was happy when I went and got him, and extremely elated when he saw Wolfram. Though, when he left to ride beside Murata, Morgif started moaning like it was the end of his world."
"Hmm... maybe if you get closer to Wolfram he'll stop?" Conrart suggested.
"Wolfram doesn't want me close to him," Yuuri sighed.
"Why do you say that?"
"Well... lately he hasn't wanted to practice sword-fighting with me. And now, just look at him. He's riding beside Murata, and not me," he said, and sighed again.
"I see... Come, let's get closer and ride with them," Conrart said, and ordered a few of the soldiers in front of them to let them through.
They rode up closer to Wolfram and Murata, with Conrart going on Murata's right side while Yuuri planted himself conspicuously between Murata and Wolfram.
"So, what are you two discussing up here?" he asked, casually.
Yuuri didn't miss Wolfram's sideways glare at Murata as he laughed again.
"We were just discussing-" Murata started.
"Nothing! We were discussing nothing!" Wolfram interrupted, his face turning red.
Yuuri was about to question how a conversation about nothing could take place when Morgif started making loud kissing and moaning sounds. He was about to admonish the sword until he noticed that 'deer caught in headlights' look on Wolfram's face, once again.
"Wolfram, what's wrong?" Yuuri asked, as Murata started to cackle even louder.
Wolfram quickly turned he head to face forward, his blush deepening.
"Wolfram, what is it? Please, tell me," Yuuri pleaded, as Morgif's kissing sounds got louder.
"Damn it, Morgif! Will you be quiet!" Yuuri yelled, looking down at the sword.
It was then he noticed that Morgif was making those kissing and moaning sounds in Wolfram's direction.
"What the Hell..." he started.
"Shibuya, I hate to be the bearer of bad news," Murata gasped out between laughs. "But Wolfram has another suitor!"
Yuuri heard Wolfram growl something that suspiciously sounded like a threat to burn off Murata's balls, and noticed that Wolfram was angrier than he'd seen him in a long time.
"And, get this! His suitor has even managed to get to a further base than you!"
"What?" Yuuri asked, his mind completely blown. "What do you mean? Who's this suitor! And what has he done to my Wolfram?"
But the only response that he got was Murata's laughing and Wolfram's complete silence.
Morgif's moaning and kissing noises made up for the lack of conversation, however.
Needless to say, the Justice dealt out that day was a little harsher than normal. When Yuuri came to, all he saw were a bunch of crying, naked bandits tarred and feathered and plastered onto the rooftops of every available building.
"You really outdid yourself this time, Shibuya! I'm impressed!" a grinning Murata said.
"I can tell," he groaned, as he stood up. "Where's Wolfram?"
"He's in the process of avoiding his new suitor," Murata said, slyly.
Yuuri remembered the conversation they had on the way to the outskirts. "Murata, who is this new suitor?" he asked, quietly.
"I'm sorry, Shibuya... but I can't tell you that. This is something that you must discover yourself."
"It isn't you, is it?" Yuuri asked, warily.
"If I decided to pursue Wolfram, would it bother you?" Murata asked, and smirked at him.
Yuuri stared at him in horror, and hoped that it wasn't Murata. How could he destroy... er... confront one of his best friends?
His friend sighed. "Relax, Yuuri. It's not me."
"Then who is it? And what do you mean they got to a further base than me?"
"Yuuri, the answer as to who it is is obvious, if you would only pay attention. Seriously. As for getting to a further base, let's just say his 'suitor' managed to get in not one, but two kisses. In a highly inappropriate place, at that!"
"Inappropriate... place? Wolfram let him kiss him somewhere inappropriate?" Yuuri asked, scandalized at the thought.
"Um, no. Wolfram didn't let him kiss him. He took the initiative when Wolfram bent over to pick up something someone dropped."
It was then that Yuuri remembered that the last time Wolfram and he were sword-fighting, Yuuri dropped a sheet of paper and Wolfram bent over to pick it up for him.
Yuuri was standing rather closely behind him, so that couldn't have been the moment someone...
No way it could have been him.
Come to think about it, Morgif was indeed making kissing sounds during that moment...
Yuuri glared over to where his sword was lying on the ground, snoozing.
He glanced back at Murata, who was shaking with laughter.
"No way..." he started.
"Yep! Your sword put the moves on your fiancé!"
"Kissed him twice right on the..."
"The look on your face when I told you Wolfram had another suitor! And when I told you he had gotten further with Wolfram than you, you were all like 'what did he do to my Wolfram' and such," Murata said, laughing and slapping his knee.
"So this is why he hasn't wanted to sword fight with me! And why he was riding with you!"
"Morgif has him beyond creeped out right now," Murata said. "And you were so very jealous when Wolfram was riding with me."
"Shut up, Murata!"
"Fine, fine... I'll shut up. But you need to talk to Wolfram. And, you need to keep your swords under control."
"Swords? I only have one," Yuuri said in confusion.
"You innocent Maou, you..." Murata said.
It was twenty-two whole minutes before Yuuri got what he meant by it.
"Pervert!" he yelled suddenly, all late on the matter.
After they had returned to the castle, Yuuri took Morgif to where he kept him, and put him up.
He stared intently at the sword, who was once again moaning in heartbreak.
"Listen up, Morgif," he said.
The sword stopped his moaning, and gave him a "huh?' look.
"I need you to not go kissing on Wolfram anymore, alright?"
The sword loudly moaned his disapproval at Yuuri's request.
"I'm serious! Now, if you keep trying to kiss him and stuff, he's not going to want to fight with us anymore, okay. He hasn't played with us in over a week, has he? You don't want him to stop playing with us completely, do you?"
Morgif moaned his agreement with the idea that he didn't want Wolfram to stop playing with them.
Yuuri simply couldn't believe that he was confronting his sword - of all things - over putting the moves on his fiancé. He also couldn't get over the idea that he could actually understand what each moan meant.
"So, you have to stop. Alright?"
Morgif sighed, and moaned in the affirmative.
"Good. I promise I'll make it up to you, somehow," Yuuri said.
A week later, and Wolfram and Yuuri had already fallen back into their previous schedule before they were rudely interrupted.
The two men fought their hardest, sweating, their jackets and shirts long discarded due to the hotter than normal heat.
As Yuuri was openly admiring the tan that Wolfram had gotten, the other man bested him again.
"Maybe if you kept your eyes on my sword, and not on me, you'd improve," Wolfram said with a smirk.
"My eyes were on your sword," Yuuri countered, suggestively.
Wolfram put away his literal sword, while Yuuri did the same. Morgif, for once, sounded quite happy as he was put away.
"So... how did you get that sword to stop harassing me, anyhow?" Wolfram asked, curiously.
Yuuri blushed, deeply. "I just... told him to stop."
Wolfram looked at him a little longer, then shrugged. "Alright. Let's go bathe."
As he watched Wolfram retreat, Yuuri wondered what Wolfram's reaction would be to the truth as to why Morgif was no longer bothering him.
He dreaded the day when Wolfram learned that Morgif's new resting place was now in his mother's private bath – and that Lady Cecilie was more than happy to have him there.
Author's note: This is the revised edition of Sword's Play. Removed most epithets, corrected grammatical errors, etc. Also, this is part of the Wolfram project.