Author's Note: This story popped into my head while playing Trials and Tribulations for the first time. At one point in the trial, when Phoenix presses Iris, she drops a line about Maya being Phoenix's girlfriend. And despite the fact that it's a perfect setup for hilarious jokes, the game does NOT pick up on this!
So I decided to write this story to detail what happens next. If the game won't finish its jokes, I will.
At this point in the game, it is believed that Maya is locked in the Inner Temple, and she is possibly dead. As it turned out, that wasn't the case, but I thought it was when I wrote this.
"I went to the Inner Temple that night and I saw it all happen in the garden..." Iris began her testimony.
"Hold it!" Phoenix cried. "Sister Iris! Your testimony has changed quite a bit since yesterday. You stated that, on the night of the murder, you didn't go to the Inner Temple."
"Objection!" Godot responded. "Did she now? Too bad for you, what she said yesterday doesn't mean much today. By the way, where were you when she claimed that she didn't go?"
"Umm, I... It was in the Inner Temple's Training Hall..." Phoenix said.
Godot shook his head. "A private conversation between the two of you does not constitute testimony. That would be properly described as hearsay."
The judge lowered his head. "Hmm...What do you have to say, witness?"
"I-I just couldn't tell him the truth at that time," Iris admitted. "Mystic Maya...She's your girlfriend, isn't she?"
Phoenix was stunned. "...!"
"I...I didn't want to be the one to break it to you that I saw her commit murder..." Iris said.
"Now wait just a minute!" Phoenix cried, slamming his hands on his desk. "My relationship with Maya has nothing to do with this case!"
An odd silence fell over the courtroom.
Godot picked up his coffee and grinned. "Don't you mean your relationship to Maya?"
Phoenix started sweating. "My...my...WHAAAAAAT?"
Godot grinned evilly. He had Wright cornered now.
Godot slammed his coffee cup on the table. "Your honor!" he cried. "I request that Mr. Wright be removed from this courtroom!"
"On what grounds?" The judge asked, bowing his head solemnly.
"As the defense has just revealed, he is currently dating Maya Fey! He is too personally involved in this case!"
"I fail to see what you mean, Mr. Godot," The judge said.
"As the defendant has just claimed, Maya is the real murderer! Mr. Trite will probably provide Iris with a sloppy defense in order to get Maya off the hook!"
"Hold it!" Phoenix cried. "I'm not—"
Up in the stands, everyone started talking amongst themselves.
"I don't understand," Gumshoe said to the girl next to him. "What's going on with Mr. Wright and Maya?"
"Mr. Nick is Mystic Maya's special someone," Pearl explained. "They're going to be married someday."
"Do you think they'll invite me to the wedding?" Gumshoe chucked.
"Only if you promise to put on something nice," Pearl ordered sternly.
Gumshoe frowned. There was no way he could afford to rent a tuxedo on his salary...
The judge pounded his gavel to silence everyone. "Order! Order!"
"Prosecutor Godot, what you have just said makes a good deal of sense."
Godot grinned and took a deep gulp. "It fits together perfectly, like cinnamon sprinkles and the foam of my cappuccino."
"Does the defense have anything to say to this?"
Phoenix was having a really hard time understanding what had just happened, but as always, he decided to press forward despite the overwhelming sense of confusion.
"Your honor! The prosecution's claims are nonsense! I am not dating Maya Fey!"
"Don't lie, Mister Nick!" Pearl cried from the stands.
"Yeah!" Gumshoe cried. "Lying is bad, pal!"
"ORDER!" The judge cried, banging his gavel. "Will all spectators please be silent? If you do not stop interrupting this trial, I will have to ask the bailiff to escort you out!"
"Your honor, please!" Phoenix pleaded. "I am perfectly capable of representing my client."
"Tell me something, Trite," Godot said. "Why weren't you in court yesterday?"
"I...I was sick," Phoenix said. "You know that."
"And how did you get sick?" Godot pressed.
"I fell into a river..."
"After running across a burning bridge to try to save Maya Fey," Godot concluded.
Phoenix grinned foolishly and put his arm to his head. "Well, I guess when you put it that way..."
"You see?" Godot said. "The defense is completely enamored with Maya Fey! There's no way he can provide a good cross examination at the expense of indicating her as a murderer!"
"Objection! This has gone far enough! Maya has nothing to do with this case! She's not even here at the moment! She's still being rescued from the Inner Temple!"
"Enough!" The judge said. "For the time being, I am willing to let Mr. Wright continue his defense. If, however, it seems he cannot provide an objective defense due to...other considerations, I shall have him removed. Understood?"
Phoenix nodded. "Understood, your honor."
The trial continued, and Phoenix's defense was as good as ever. He managed to push through Iris' lies to reveal the existence of her evil twin sister Dahlia.
"Miss Hawthorne had a grudge against me, did she not?" Phoenix pressed.
"I...I'm not sure what you mean," Iris lied. "She has nothing to do with what happened two days ago."
"It was at my trial that Dahlia Hawthorne was sentenced to death. And the defense lawyer in that case was Mia Fey, Maya's sister! That makes two connections between her and this case!"
"Nooooooo!!!" Iris cried, her hair flying backwards.
"Objection!" Godot cried. "Trite, do you really—?"
Godot was interrupted by the sound of a loud, techno-based ringtone.
"Godot here," Godot said, picking up his phone.
"Mr. Godot!" The judge said sternly. "Now is not the time for taking phone calls!"
"I see. And you're coming with her immediately? Good."
Godot hung up his phone.
"I apologize for the interruption, your honor," Godot said. "That was Miles Edgeworth. It seems that the defense's fiancée has just been found."
"What?!" Phoenix cried. "How did Maya and I go from dating to being engaged?"
"Aha!" Godot cried. "So you admit that you're dating Maya Fey!"
"Ah, young love..." The judge mused. "If you need a judge to oversee the wedding ceremony, I will only be too happy to oblige you, Mr. Wright."
Phoenix held his head in his hands. This was definitely not his day.
"Franziska Von Karma and Miles Edgeworth are bringing her presently," Godot said. "I ask for a twenty minute recess so the defense will have time to check up on his girlfriend and be ensured of her safety."
The judge nodded. "That sounds reasonable."
"But I was just about to prove Dahlia's connection to this case!" Phoenix said.
"Ha!" Godot laughed. "Forgive me, Trite, but the evil twin sister defense sounds like a cheap trick from a crappy detective novel. You don't honestly expect us to believe it, do you?"
"But Dahlia has a perfect motive! She hates me and the Feys! You can't rule her out as a suspect!"
"Dahlia Hawthorne was executed a month ago, Trite! She couldn't have done it! Unless you're proposing that Sister Iris has another evil twin sister that no one has heard about before."
"The prosecution makes a good point," The judge said. "The twin sister story sounds a bit unlikely."
Phoenix slammed his hands on his desk. "Please, your honor! Make the witness testify about her sister! I'm sure it will clear matters up!"
"Objection! Dahlia Hawthorne is dead! She has no bearing on this case!"
"Objection! She is indeed relevant! As I just proved, she has the perfect motive!"
"Objection! If that motive of revenge works for Dahlia, then it also works for Iris! She'd want revenge on you for killing her sister!"
Phoenix started sweating. "This isn't good..." he said to himself.
The judge closed his eyes in thought. "Witness, if you would please..."
There was a loud bang as the doors of the courtroom burst open.
Phoenix would recognize that voice anywhere, even if he hadn't been desperately hoping to hear it for the past two days. It was Maya.
"Maya!" Phoenix cried.
Maya ran up to Phoenix, deftly leaping over the gate that kept spectators out of the courtroom proper. Phoenix opened up his arms, ready to receive Maya, and the two hugged.
The courtroom awwwed.
"Maya! Are you safe? I was so worried!"
"I'm fine," Maya said. "But what about you? Is it true you tried to run across a burning bridge?"
"Er...I guess I did," Phoenix said, grinning stupidly.
Maya gave Phoenix a sly smile. "How could you do something so stupid, Nick?"
"I...I guess I wasn't thinking about it," Phoenix admitted. "All I could think of was the fact that you might be in trouble, and I had to do something to help you."
"I love you too, Nick," Maya said.
Then she kissed him.
The courtroom's awwws grew louder.
"This stinks!" Larry Butz said.
"Why?" Gumshoe asked.
"If Nick and Maya get married, that means I can't go out with her!"
Pearl slapped Larry. "You leave my cousin alone!"
"They are still foolish fools," Franziska Von Karma said, watching the scene with a frown on her face.
"Yes, but they're fools in love," Edgeworth said. "If I wasn't so adamantly opposed to public displays of affection, I would say it was sweet."
"Well, that certainly clears things up," The judge said. "If you want, I can perform the marriage ceremony right now."
"M-married?" Maya asked, her jaw dropping in shock. "Nick, what have you been telling everyone about me?!"
"N-nothing!" Phoenix objected.
"Do you, Phoenix Wright, take this woman to have and to hold—"
"OBJECTION!" Phoenix cried.
A whip flew through the air and hit Phoenix on the head. "Ouch!"
"Don't interrupt the moment, fool!" Franziska Von Karma ordered. "Agree to marry her!"
"But...but..." Phoenix groped around for a possible way out of this mess. "I don't have a wedding ring!"
"Mr. Wright, this is most disappointing," The judge said. "I would have expected a lawyer of your standing to be better prepared."
"I'm sorry, your honor," Phoenix apologized.
"In that case, this wedding will have to be postponed until a later date. Please make sure you are prepared then."
"I will be," Phoenix promised.
And six months later, he was.